reinedescauchemars - Tumblr blog

[reinedescauchemars]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

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i’m slowly coaxing her friends into being less scared by me, because i know i can just kind of be aloof and remote but i genuinely want them to like me. i think it’s working? i hope it’s working?

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25 may 2024

altar - machineheart menteur - pierre de maere one way trigger - the strokes villain - halflives lover i don't have to love - bright eyes

what i'm currently listening to

i'm going to try to update this weekly with the latest selection of songs that totally don't have any relation to my mental state (oh, sarcasm, my best friend)

24 july 2023

kill for love - chromatics dead oaks - now, now loveher - romy ny to la - the hunna adelaide - meg myers

[reinedescauchemars]

i set the bar so low - so fucking low - and you still try to limbo underneath it? still? you’ve crossed the line from the unethical to the probably illegal now that i’ve grown up, and i am angry

should i tell your husband what you’ve done? should i make him choose between his child and his wife? oh, what a cruel choice that would be, but do i have any other option than that?

if you didn’t act the way you do, if you were genuinely willing to change, we wouldn’t be here. it’s your choice to be a shit person above all that has drove us to this point. i have suffered long enough and i will not suffer more for this facsimile of a nuclear family

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i slipped on my dorm’s floor today and just kind of completely wiped out, so now half my body hurts

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Reblog if it's okay to invade your ask box.

Always

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did a thing (made sure friend ate food so he wouldn’t starve because so far he’s basically been surviving off energy drinks) and suffered the consequences (got infected with his cold)

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fun fact: there’s a religious holiday that’s basically just mock battles!

sikhism commands its adherents to fight against injustice by any means necessary, which can include actual physical fights, hence why the kirpan (the dagger/short sword with curved blade) is part of the five items a sikh is supposed to have on them at all times

Out of all religions I know of, hands down the coolest symbol award goes to the Sikh. Just look at this fucking thing, that's awesome as fuck.

[reinedescauchemars]

fun fact! this design is entirely made up of weapons. sikhs go pains to say that they’re not to be fucked around with

Out of all religions I know of, hands down the coolest symbol award goes to the Sikh. Just look at this fucking thing, that's awesome as fuck.

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and you know what else will fuck with you?

YOUR HIGH MAINTENANCE CHRONIC HEALTH ISSUES THAT NOBODY CAN FIGURE OUT

apparently trauma will fuck with you in super subtle ways and you’ll think you’re fine until it’s a weekday night and you’re so emotionally drained you can’t even cry, and you’ll start avoiding certain paths to get to class, and you’ll feel dread in your stomach when people raise their voices, and you have to pretend like you aren’t being torn apart because things are supposed to be back to normal, you’ve got problem sets to finish and essays to write, you don’t have time to let the burnout dissipate or the fear subside, you just have to coexist with it and pretend it’s fine

[reinedescauchemars]

i may be a chronically ill disaster, but at least i’m her chronically ill disaster

[reinedescauchemars]

apparently trauma will fuck with you in super subtle ways and you’ll think you’re fine until it’s a weekday night and you’re so emotionally drained you can’t even cry, and you’ll start avoiding certain paths to get to class, and you’ll feel dread in your stomach when people raise their voices, and you have to pretend like you aren’t being torn apart because things are supposed to be back to normal, you’ve got problem sets to finish and essays to write, you don’t have time to let the burnout dissipate or the fear subside, you just have to coexist with it and pretend it’s fine

[reinedescauchemars]

the ironies of, after posting this, one of my fandom friends getting mad at me for reblogging a post that was about how a very popular article didn’t actually have evidence to back up its claims (and people keep citing the claims of that article to me and i’m like… either there’s information i haven’t seen supporting the claims or they don’t know that other journalists were later unable to find evidence to corroborate the claims) and calling it hurtful and antisemitic of me to have reblogged it

like. i don’t want to lose the fandom friendship. but also, i am so emotionally burnt out from trying to salvage my irl friendships that i don’t want to take the time to explain to them that that specific article, from all the reading i’ve done, didn’t have corroborating evidence. i don’t want to lose a friendship over this, i really don’t, but i have genuinely stopped feeling like i have the emotional capacity to talk politics that i’d need to to maintain that connection

if i can make it through this year without loosing friends based on politics, that would be a fucking miracle

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if i can make it through this year without loosing friends based on politics, that would be a fucking miracle

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watching people fight about politics is fucking secondhand stress for me right now

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i am just going to be stressed for quite a while

woke up to news of police brutality on campus

i have been scared of this happening since the encampment protest started, because immediately after they set up, police presence increased dramatically, and that scared me, because it was only a matter of time before something happened, and every single one of my friends protesting was like “oh come on it’s more chill here than columbia or ucla” but that does not change the fact that a) you’re breaking the laws to make a point, the police are going to react to that because that’s their job, also have you seen how anti-homeless they are around here? it’s very anti-homeless, b) you pissed off the chancellor - and keep calling him a kinda racist nickname - and he’s the only person in the situation with authority, so he’s not going to be very inclined to side with the protesters, and c) y’all started doing this after watching encampment protests turn violent at other universities. it was clear from the very beginning that this was going to turn into a display of police brutality, it was just a question of how long it would take, because your demands were never going to be met

[reinedescauchemars]

oh and now border patrol is here. fuck

woke up to news of police brutality on campus

i have been scared of this happening since the encampment protest started, because immediately after they set up, police presence increased dramatically, and that scared me, because it was only a matter of time before something happened, and every single one of my friends protesting was like “oh come on it’s more chill here than columbia or ucla” but that does not change the fact that a) you’re breaking the laws to make a point, the police are going to react to that because that’s their job, also have you seen how anti-homeless they are around here? it’s very anti-homeless, b) you pissed off the chancellor - and keep calling him a kinda racist nickname - and he’s the only person in the situation with authority, so he’s not going to be very inclined to side with the protesters, and c) y’all started doing this after watching encampment protests turn violent at other universities. it was clear from the very beginning that this was going to turn into a display of police brutality, it was just a question of how long it would take, because your demands were never going to be met