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guys I promise promise promise I will release caleb's birthday fic today. It's the longest fic I've written so far (11k+ okay it's not that long but it is to me đ„čđ„č)
I'm not used to writing plot heavy stories so it's been a huge struggle to write. I can't wait to finish it so I can finish all my other projects đđ
#mind you ive been working on this since april#me and my laziness against the world#seriously this has been a bitch fo write it almlst made me want to quit#caleb#lads caleb#caleb fic
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PLEASE THIS IS THE ONE FANTASY IVE EVER HAD AND NOW IT'S FULFILLED
A plane fact to remember.

Summary: It started when he gave you a random plane fact, and ended with you a shivering mess in his arms as he bullied your cunt. Calebs random facts had always been a part of your life, but now, it was different.
Pairing: Plane Nerd Caleb x Reader
WC: 1.2k
Warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY, Mean caleb, a little dumbification, Improper use of evol, orgasm control, edging, cockwarming, light sub/dom vibes, writer doesn't know fuck all about planes so google is my co-writer, fem nicknames, use of pipsqueak
Calebs' Adjutant: @hiqhkey, @mikasaredscarf1 (tag list signup is at the end <3)

It had started innocently enough, leaning on the counter of Caleb's home in Skyhaven. He was making lemonade, chatting easily about your recent missions and his flights â youâd mentioned in passing that he never seemed to complain about turbulence, something that recently had made you nauseous on your long-haul flight. Heâd raised an eyebrow at that
âWell, yeah, pips, it's easier to avoid it in a military or private jet. We donât gotta follow the flight paths and can fly higher to avoid it. It ainât much of an issue at 40,000ft.â
He laughed, but your eyes widened. It had been years since Caleb had spoken of his interests, his love for planes, and the weird facts he would spurt out. You still remember the first time he had told you planes could easily run on one engine â how that fact made your tiny mind explode. How could something as big as a plane still fly safely with only one engine?!
You missed it, and so, you told him that.
What you didnât expect was to end up in his lap, his cock pushed between your pussys lips as he made you sit there. You werenât allowed to move; you knew better than that  - no matter how much friction you craved, you just had to take it. His cock felt amazing, it pushed against every nerve in the perfect way, as if just like its owner it knew all the best ways to pleasure you. His nails ran up and down your sides, head tilting with a teasing smirk.
âSo plane facts then, let's make this fun, sweetheart. Your gonna sit here, all pretty on my cock and memorise everything I tell you.. if you get my questions right at the end.. ill let you cum. Okay?â
You nodded eagerly, not really thinking about what he was saying â it didnât matter when he was inside you and not moving. Your mind was already fraying at the edges with pure need, a pure desire to feel him move, and if nodding would make that happen quicker than so be it. You only realised you may have fucked up when he leant back against the couch cushions, hands on your hips.
âLet's see.. Oh, I know. A commercial jet cruises at around 575Â miles per hour â that's 75% the speed of light, pips!-â
He spoke quickly, hands slipping off your hips and flying around in the air as he spoke, making movements like a plane moving quickly. The way his eyes lit up and the smile that tugged on his lips were enough to distract you from your need for a moment.
â- it could cross the Atlantic Ocean in about 7 hours! Thatâs why I can get to Linkon and back so quickly.â
Always the tease, he knew what to say to fluster you and make you smile. He had made a habit of visiting you randomly, and now you knew why; itâs just because he could quickly. Lost in thought, you didnât notice his hands moving again until they cupped your breasts, tugging on a nipple gently and making you gasp.
âEarth to pipsqueak, I havenât finished yet. Keep listening.â
A quick nod and he was off again, yet this time, the glint in his eyes seemed more evil than playful.
âLet me tell you about the cockpit then.. You know, we donât start planes with key fobs like you do cars. We gotta use the ignition control â basically a series of switches. They have 5 positions on them..â
His hands landed on your hips as he smirked
âFirst is off, like this, yeah?â
You felt him tug you left, dick finally moving â a sharp moan breaking free from your throat at the feeling.
âThen we have left.. and let's not forget rightâ
You were tugged right before you could recover, mouth falling open in another moan as he laughed cruelly.
âBoth..â
He shifted you left and right quickly, pressing against every nerve perfectly. Your clit rubbed against him, leaving a sticky mess in its wake. Neither of you cared enough to stop, he kept shifting you until he spoke again
âand finally start.â
You felt the familiar tingling of his Evol, eyes widening as he lifted you up and down against his length. Sat back against the pillows with his arms crossed and a knowing smirk on his face â you looked blissed out, too far gone from finally getting the stimulation you craved to hear him finish his facts. You whined when his Evol pulled you down sharply again â holding you in place.
âOkay then.. time for Caleb's quiz, sweet girl.â
Your eyes widened as he asked his questions, the first few you got right and he rewarded you. A finger on your clit, stimulating you in a way that felt so good but, just wasnât enough, he was playing your body like a fiddle. Make you desperate for him and only him.
It was only when you started to mess up that things became.. mean.
âNuhu, naughty pipsqueak. The temperature drops to negative fifty degrees Celsius not 30. Remember, itâs because the engine compresses air more effectively, burning less fuel.â
His fingers stopped moving as he spoke, eyes hardening. You felt tears threaten to spill as he stopped, the friction you so desperately needed gone â you had been so close. Your orgasm was just a little push away, and now it was torn from your grasp.
âAww, sweet girl, no, donât cry. I should have known Pipsqueak canât answer my questions... always disappointing me.. What should I do about that?â
He changed positions, so you were against the couch, hips moving slowly as he pretended to think. The friction was nice, but not nearly enough, and he knew that. Knew you werenât getting what you desperately needed, he kept this up for what felt like hours-
âIâve got it, your gonna take my cock like a good girl and not cum until I say. Thatâs your punishment, now be good, donât disappoint me again.â
You heard that warning in his voice, his colonel's tone slipping through as his hips sped up. You had bratted him up once and came without permission. It wasnât worth it, the punishment that followed, where he denied you his cock for 6 weeks was near on agony. You couldnât do that again, refused to go through it, so you bit your lip and held your need off.
Your cult clenched and unclenched as he moved, moans spilling from your mouth that was now permanently open. He was impressed, really. Your control had improved so much from the first time you had slept together. He kept thrusting until he was close, until his stomach clenched with need, leaning into your ear, he whispered one command.
âCumâ
You fell apart, crying out his name, tears falling down your cheeks as your release finally spilled from you. He wasnât far apart, pulling you against his chest as he spilled inside. Neither of you said anything for a long while, his fingers just ran up and down your back, smiling.
âSo proud of you.. so proud of you.. Thatâs my good girl. Thatâs Calebâs good girl.â

Likes, Comments and Reblogs are always appreciated <3
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fishie came after dropping a shameful amount of money đđ„
#*SNIFF* *SNIFF* đđ»#âŹ50 gone but i got that lemurian dick#i have no regrets#rafayel#love and deepspace rafayel#lads rafayel
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how's everyone's pulls going bc I'm totally not crashing at everyone getting his myth pair in 70 pulls or less đđ« đ€Źđ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„
STOP BRINGING ME TO HARD PITY INFOLD đ€Źđ€Źđ€Źđ€ŹđȘđȘ
#fuck it im having fish and chips later tonight#im blocking eveyone saying they got him in the free 20 pulls#gun to my head and yours#rafayel#lads rafayel#infold loves fucking me in the ass#love and deepspace rafayel
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caleb's accidental debut đ€

â summary- caleb was just a kid with a grudge against a boy group. he didnât mean to become their biggest competition (or a lowkey fan). aka caleb being jealous of linkon's hottest new boy band
Caleb didn't even bother hiding the sour expression on his face. He glared at the TV screen, eyes shooting daggers at the current obsession that had somehow bewitched her.
Linkon's newest boy group had taken the nation by storm. Despite debuting only recently, theyâd already amassed a massive female fan base â and she was no exception.
He watched as a blue-haired member winked at the camera, earning a high-pitched squeal from her. Caleb couldn't for the life of him see what was so special about them. His eyes narrowed as they launched into another round of overly energetic, syncopated choreography
Surely, these guys werenât that impressive.
Every day after school, she would grab him by the arm and drag him home, eager to catch their latest performance. Each stage had its own over-the-top conceptâone week it was soft schoolboy crushes, the next, dark brooding themes with vampires, demons and angels. Sometimes even dyeing their hair in bold, eye-catching colours to fit the theme.
It would be all that she would talk about on the walk home. Sheâd pull out new merch, showing off the photo cards she exchanged with her friends at lunch, and gush about how handsome one of the members looked in a baseball uniform.
It made Caleb want to pluck out his eyebrows one by one, but he always made sure to plaster on a smile.
Caleb hadn't minded her new obsessionâat first. But when she started skipping games with him, or nearly choking on her food just to finish faster and catch their performance, thatâs when it started to bother him.
"Pipsqueak, you promised to hang out with me this afternoon", he whined, a ball in hand.
"Not now, Caleb, I'll play with you later", she swatted him away without looking up, her eyes locked on the screen as she kicked her feet in the air.
Caleb had been the main male figure in her life for as long as he could remember. And now, all of a sudden, that spot had been snatched awayâby seven men in glittery jackets.
He felt bitter.
He wasn't used to feeling cast aside.
It wasn't the first occurrence either. Lately, every time he suggested something for them to do together, she would just absentmindedly turn him away, barely listening to what he had in mind.
That had become Calebâs usual routine latelyâalone, playing by himself. Like now, in the backyard, muttering under his breath while half-heartedly kicking the ball against the wall. Every now and again, a soft giggle would escape through the kitchen window.
Caleb huffed.
"What does she even see in them anyway? It's not like they're even that good-looking. Anyone can throw on fancy clothes and sing and danceâI'll show her."
That night, Caleb went to bed early. Or at least, thatâs what he told her. In truth, he was in his room, typing their name into the search bar, staring at the group that had stolen all her attention.
Over the next week, Caleb made it his life's mission to memorise all the dancesâpurely out of spite. Every evening, he'd lock this door and throw himself into memorising each routine, determined to hit every mark perfectly.
âWatch me outdance every single one of them! Letâs see who she talks about then.â
Sheâd sometimes ask why he was always so sweaty before bed, and heâd just laugh it off, brushing her off with some excuse.
But he had a goal. He had to burn the dances into his memory. He needed to prove that he was better than those ridiculous men in their ugly outfits.
Sometimes sheâd hum their songs around the house, singing to herself as she moved from room to room. And slowly, almost without realising, he started humming along. Every time he caught himself, he was mortified. Heâd quietly slip out of the room before she could notice.
As much as he hated to admit it⊠underneath all the glitter and flare, their songs were kind of catchy.
One quiet afternoon, Caleb was clearing the remains of their lunch while the radio played one of their latest songs. He floated around the room, softly singing to himself, slipping in a move here and there without thinking.
He was so caught up, he didnât hear her stumble into the kitchen.
"AHA!!"
He froze.
"Caleb, I didn't know you were secretly a fanboy", she said smugly, wiggling her shoulders like sheâd caught him red-handed.
Calebâs face turned bright red. "N-No! It's just cause this songâs everywhere! And you play it all the time around the house.â
To his surprise, she didn't tease him further. Instead, she turned up the volume and jumped, singing along at the top of her lungs.
Caleb watched her flail her arms, wildly missing half the choreographyâif he was being honest. But she didn't care. She was smiling, beaming, singing her heart out.
And in that moment, Caleb realised something: sharing her joy felt a lot better than trying to compete for it.
So they sang together in the kitchen, off-key and laughing, butchering the ad-libs as they made their afternoon snack.
Their afternoons quickly turned into a mix of lighthearted teasing and non-stop chatter. Sheâd pull up funny montages, encouraging him to watch, rambling about her favourite members and their different personalities.
Caleb smiled alongâthis time, a genuine smile, happy to see her talk so passionately.
Did he still dislike them?
Yes.
Very much.
But not as much as beforeâespecially after seeing how happy they made her.
They even started dressing up together, re-enacting scenes from music videos (her idea, obviously) and filming their dramatic reenactments. Caleb was always cast as the hopeless romantic, chasing after the girlâplayed by her, of course.
They didnât get many views. But Caleb, hidden under his covers at night, would watch them anyway.
The view count crept up, little by little, each day.
One morning, as he was shovelling cereal into his mouth, she shoved her phone into his face.
"Look, Caleb! We already have 42 views!! We're gonna be popular in no time.â
She beamed, eyes sparkling with excitement. âOne day we'll be famous enough⊠and we'll get to see them in real life!"
a/n- hi this is my first time properly posting on tumblr so I'm still trying to navigate my way around. this is just a silly hc I have on the origin of caleb's dancing skills, bc I can totally see a jealous young caleb sweating out in his room to impress mc. anways enjoy reading <3
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wait wait wait hear me out Caleb with a dad bod
just like a tiny one yknow but he starts getting insecure about it and shit and thinks that reader wonât find him attractive anymore while she finds it so cute and hot asf and she just wants him to fuck her brains out
note: omg this is absolutely everythingâŠi could see myself doing a full fic on this one day if youâd like, anon! now, i didnât write this to be freaky bc i donât think that kind of reaction would suit a situation like this, but if i did a full one, the sex would for sureeee get like that. regardless, its short and quick, but i hope you like this. đ
warning: mentions of weight gain, caleb doesnât like his body
i feel like when you notice, itâs because he starts wearing shirts all the time. like you could never get caleb to put a shirt on if you wanted him to when you first started datingâand you loved it. youâre in love with that man and his body, so of course you always wanted to see it.
iâm picturing you and caleb as a couple who loves food. going out to eat, finding new restaurants, cooking new mealsâlike thatâs your thing. but maybe down the line, he gets so busy with work that he ends up skipping the gym more often and with the eating habits he has with you, he puts on a few pounds. maybe his abs arenât as defined as they used to be.
so he wants to hide it from you. and it was subtle at firstâstarting with just a tank top all the time. then he went full blown t-shirts, wanted to be behind you when you had sex or on top so you had to focus on his face and nothing else.
when you started realizing what he was doing, especially when he would ask for and do things he never hasâlike if you could turn around when he wanted to change or leaving the room entirely to do soâyour heart brokeeee.
now, let me set the scene of confrontation: he comes home from work, takes a shower, and throws on another too-big t-shirt. you ask him to come to the bedroom when heâs done and he can see the determination in your eyes. itâs worrying and scaring the shit out of him.
âtake your shirt off.â your tone is straight. not aggressive, but serious.
caleb would freeze. ready to run. âw-whyâŠdo youââ
âcaleb,â you cut him off. âtake.it.off.â
he legitimately thinks that this will be the end of you two. that youâll see him and want to leave. but heâll listen and will slowly pull his shirt off, but he holds it in front of his body.
âwhy are you doing that, baby?â you frown. the mindset and intention to be stern would be overridden by sadness when you see how vulnerable he looks.
âlet me see you. i miss seeing you.â he can barely keep his eyes on you, continuously looking at the floor in silence.
âyou donât want to see me like this,â heâd retort with embarrassment. âiâm not the same. you wonât like it. i canât do that to you.â
you wonât have this. wonât have him talking about himself like that. not the love of your life.
so you walk up to him and look into his eyes that are clearly watering as you pull his shirt away from his grasp. you then hold his arms down in place so he doesnât try to keep himself hidden from you any longer.
when you look down to see his now softer stomach, all you do is fall in love with him all over again. not a single part of you thought to judge or criticize him. the fact that he even thought youâd want to, hurt you to your core.
âcalebâŠyou look absolutely fuckable,â you nearly whisper. it makes him snort out a surprise laugh. youâre not lying and by the exasperation in your voice, he might just believe you.
âyouâre the same man who taught me to love myself just as much as you love me. you taught me what it means to lean on you when iâm unsure.â youâd bend down to kiss his stomach. theyâre featherlight, but full of meaning as you pepper them along his soft skin.
âyouâre also the only man on this planet earth who iâll ever love and whatever you think negatively about your body, know that i will never agree.â youâll stand to kiss his nose and his lip will tremble. he canât believe heâs this lucky. âlet me show you how perfect you are, yeah?â
he starts to whimper, exhaling in relief when you press more kisses to his neck and jaw. âiâve missed riding your cock, babe. missed seeing every inch of you. will you let me?â
and heâd mumble a gentle yes because ohâŠhe misses it too.
of course he wouldnât automatically just believe your words, but with how ravenous you become when you have just a little bit of him back, he knows that doubting your love for him because of something so unimportant, is a mistake heâll never make again.
#healing both our body dysmorphophobia one ride at a time#seriously this was so adorable to read i need to see more of mc comforting caleb#caleb fic#caleb#lads caleb
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I may have a teensy tiny request đ
The lads guys' s/o calling them by their full name (whether it's Chinese or English is fine!) and the guys are a little worried they did smth wrong but their s/o just wanted to ask them about date night or smth similar
I love your work sm <33
đđđŠđąđŽđŠ đ±đđŠđąđŽđŠ đ±đđŠđąđŽđŠ (đ„đ°đŻ'đ” đŹđȘđđ đźđŠ) | LADS + when you call them by their full name
warnings: humor, fluff, zayne's isn't a date because I think he'd do all the planning for any dates lol, the first appearance of panty sniffer caleb on my account
.Ëââ§ËËË âââ xavier

.Ëââ§ËËË âââ zayne

.Ëââ§ËËË âââ rafayel

.Ëââ§ËËË âââ sylus

.Ëââ§ËËË âââ caleb

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sleeping with caleb (áŽËłáŽ)á¶»
âhcs about sharing a bed with caleb bc i still haven't finished his bday fic :p
â caleb has long accepted that heâs never getting his personal space back (good, he doesn't want it anyway). no matter what position he falls asleep in, he always wakes up at the edge of the bed, ass hanging out, with your arms and legs wrapped around him like a koala. he doesn't mind really, because he loves that you still gravitate towards him, even in your sleep.
â whenever you get into a petty argument, you make a point of building a pillow barrier between you. when he tries to protest, you just shoot him daggers and turn your back. you can't sleep because of his constant shuffling, but eventually, you knock down the barrier bit by bit, letting him roll over beside you and softly whisper an apology in your ear while he pulls you close. you donât respond because youâre still upset, but you just let him hold you. and that alone is enough for him
â winters in skyhaven are brutal because of the high altitude. so on cold winter nights, you find yourself drawn to caleb because he's just so warmâhe's basically a human radiator. when you're feeling cheeky, you like to slide your cold hands under his shirt and laugh evily whenever he flinches
â whenever you visit him in skyhaven, he insists on sleeping in your room together. It's not that he dislikes his room, he just prefers being in the space you've curated in his home. he loves being surrounded by things that smell like you, breathing you in while he falls asleep
â caleb likes to pretend he's still asleep when you think you've woken up before him. he lets you poke his cheek, blow in his face, tickle his chin, play with his hair until heâs had enough and rolls you over, pulling you into a soul-crushing hug you canât escape
â his favourite time of day is the moment you fall asleep at night, and the moment just before you wake up in the morning. thereâs something about your face that looks so peaceful and soft, that makes him fall in love with you all over again. he loves that youâre the first and last thing he sees every day
â contrary to what people might think, but caleb loves being the little spoon and being held. he doesn't do it often, but after long shifts with the fleet, there's nothing he loves more than lying on your chest, listening to your breathing while you stroke his hair. his worries melt away instantly, and he always falls asleep faster than usualâsome of his best sleeps, honestly.
â caleb, the self-proclaimed claw machine master, is a prime example of suffering from your own success. not only does he have to share the bed with you, but with the 20+ plushies that he won and proudly bragged about. now heâs got his own personal plushie (you) snuggled up next to him, along with twenty others, silently staring into his soul
â calebâs bed head is horrendous, and don't even get me started on his morning breath. you love counting all his cowlicks and taking pictures of his messy hair, holding your nose like youâre disgusted. but when he catches you laughing too long, he shuts you up by peppering your face with kisses before pulling you in for one long, deep kiss that leaves you breathless
â caleb is a light sleeper, so when he hears you tossing and turning, struggling to fall asleep, he gently pulls you into his chest and starts telling stories, just like he used to when you were kids. you call it childish, but the sound of his voice, soft and steady, is all it takes for sleep to quickly wash over you. and once your breathing slows down and your body relaxes, he whispers a quiet list of reasons why he loves youâone after the other, just for you
a/n- blessing you with a lot bc i couldnt stop at one. i cant be the only one that uses he's secret times as a sleep aid, his voice is so soothing i knock out instantly. short blabber bc i haven't finished half my fics i was meant to post last week. this caleb bday fic has been sitting in my drafts for over a month đŹđŹ
#( Ë” âąÌ ᎠâąÌË”) reito hcs !#a hug from caleb would heal all my problems#need him to hold me and whisper sweet nothings to me#cursed carmine dividers#lads caleb#caleb x reader#caleb love and deepspace#lads#lads x reader#caleb x you#lads fluff#caleb fluff#love and deepspace caleb#caleb x mc#caleb x y/n#xia yizhou#lnds caleb#caleb#lads fic#xia yizhou x reader#caleb fic#love and deepspace fic#xia yizhou x you#love and deep space#lads fanfic#lads drabble#caleb drabble#caleb headcanons#lads headcanons
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Going to Marry You â Caleb x Reader/MC
summary : While packing stuff up for summer break, Caleb found a box full of stuff you kept from your shared childhood; what you never noticed, though, was a text written behind a polaroid of yours from Caleb himself when he was just ten.
setting : alternate universe â college/university
contents : no use of y/n, pure fluff, use of pipsqueak, best friends in love, soulmates, roommates, childhood friends, oblivious friends, caleb is a sweet boy, mention of young caleb and mc, secret proposal, no confessions.
1,3k words â one shot
You were supposed to be packing things up. Summer break was about to start and you had to knock it all out in one afternoon. You and Caleb split the boxes, tossed the junk, even argued about who would have kept the shared toaster neither of you bought.
But Caleb has little attention span when it comes to tidying up the place, and he soon was off-task again. You looked up from your folded clothes just in time to see him disappear inside your closet, drawn by something unknown to you.
Some shuffling, a dull thud and a murmured âshitâ later made you wonder what, exactly, was he doing in there. âNeed help?â You asked. âNope!â It came casual â too casual for your liking.
You rolled your eyes and went back to sort through your socks drawer. Then Caleb is finally back from his strange mission holding a dusty cardboard box with scribbles all over it â rainbows, stick figures (strangely resembling you and the man holding the box), tiny suns with smileys faces.
Your breath stopped. You knew that box a little too well. Caleb, on the other hand, was grinning like a little kid who just found buried treasure. âIs this yours, pips?â He asked, making you gulp unconsciously. Of course it was, and he knew that; your name was written all over it.
âWhere did you find that?â Was the first thing you said about the box, heart beating fast in your chest. âBack of the closet. Tucked behind some old clothes.â He answered calmly, a smile on his lips.
You sat up on your heels, the suitcase now completely forgotten. âI thought I left it at home.â He dropped the box gently in front of you both, sitting legs crossed next to you, knees bumping you. âGuess you didnât.â He chuckled in a soft voice.
The lid creaked when you opened it, some dust rising and catching in the sunlight like glitters. There probably were some glitters as well in there.
Inside there were all sorts of memories: old photos of you and Caleb, crumpled movie tickets, one plastic friendship bracelet â you remember putting it there because you were scared of losing it after you lost three other bracelets in a row, while Caleb still wore it â a charm from a carnival prize, notes in really terrible handwriting folded like origami. You smiled at the sight of all those simple objects, every single one of them remembering you of a specific day with Caleb in your life.
âYou made this in fourth grade.â He said with a smile, grabbing a little clay duck with one googly eye missing, lumpy and uneven. âI dropped it in the sink.â You laughed at the memory, remembering how sad you were.
âAnd I rescued it. You cried a lot.â He laughed as well, making you blush a bit. Knowing you cried was one thing, but him remembering it embarrassed you. âI did not cry!â You tried to protest, knowing it was false.
You glared at him, cheeks red from embarrassment as you tried your best not to smile at how stupidly attractive he was being right now. âYouâre lucky I like you.â He just chuckled at you.
Caleb lifted a polaroid from the box, squinting at it in the golden light from the sunset outside. It was the two of you on a summer afternoon years ago â grinning, arms around each other, faces smeared with ice cream. You probably were around nine or ten in that photo. He suddenly flipped it over, as if knowing that something was there, and damn was he right.
There was a note on the back, written with a coloured pen with a crooked handwriting. âim going to marry you when we grow up!â. Your breath stopped while Caleb he remembered what he had written back then and froze. âOh my god.â
You snatched the polaroid from him, reading the phrase over and over again. You were embarrassed, yes, but Caleb was embarrassed as well â if not even more â as the tip of his ears turned pink. âYou werenât supposed to keep it.â He murmured, looking away from you as you continued to read that phrase.
âI kept everything, Caleb.â You said back, still a little stunned from the sudden revelation. How come you never noticed it was a mystery. He shrugged, trying to play it off and sound casual even as he was clearly anxious. âI was serious, you know. Back then.â He murmured, eyes locked on the suddenly interesting ceiling.
You stared at the photo some more. The writing, his name signed underneath the phrase. A strange ache welled up in your chest as you spoke again, softer this time. âYou never told me.â
âI thought you knew and ignored it.â The silence stretched as neither of you knew what else to say. Surely, it was a silly thing, said when you were both young and stupid, but for some unknown reason it felt real and serious. Time goes still inside the apartment, while outside a car passed, people laughed and children ran free.
Caleb shifted beside you, voice even lower now. âI was a dumb kid back then.â Noticing how he was retreating, you risked to look up at him with wide eyes. He wasnât looking at you â his eyes were fixed on the photo as if afraid that it would disappear if he looked away. His finger curled a little tighter into fists.
Finally, you found the courage to speak again. âYouâre still serious?â It was meant to be a joke to break the ice, but it only came out quiet â and real, too real.
He finally looked back at you, eyes soft with a hint of surprise at your question. âNever stopped being serious.â
Your chest squeezed. You didnât know what to say, what to do. Caleb was your best friend since you could remember; he was the one you always called whenever your day went sideways; the first one you texted when anything â anything â happened. He knew everything about you, just as you knew everything about him.
You never even thought of asking yourself what any of it meant. Or maybe, inside you, you did â you just pretended to not know. Because you always noticed how your heart beat faster when heâs close to you, how your eyes often fell on his lips, how you craved his touch on you, even if just for a caress. And once again, your eyes unconsciously fell on his lips as you searched for anything to say back to him.
He smiled softly, noticing your internal turmoil â he always noticed. âYou donât have to say anything, pips.â You blinked, confusion etched on your face as your eyes locked down with his again. âCalebââ âItâs okay.â He interrupted you, too quickly. âI didnât say it expecting anything. Itâs justâŠâ He gestured towards the box. âThereâs no need to hide it when itâs clearly written down forever, yâknow.â He chuckled softly, but this time you donât smile back.
The sunlight shifted, making everything feel more intimate and soft. More yours. He looked at you with adoration in his eyes â he always did â and something else, something scared and hopeful. You remembered every time he was next to you, every shared blanket, every time he offered his shoulder for you to cry, every time he looked at you a second longer than a best friend would without saying a words after.
You leaned forward, your forehead finding his shoulder as you closed your eyes. Caleb tensed under you before exhaling, a shaky breath. Neither of you spoke for a long time, but his hand found your waist as he pulled you closer to him.
Outside, the sun almost disappeared under the rooftops of other houses, making the room dusky â quiet, filled only with the sounds of your breathing, synced like always. You always considered him your soulmate.
His free hand found yours on the carpet, fingers brushing against yours before curling into place like they always did when you needed him. He squeezed your hands once â you squeezed back immediately, making him smile.
He closed his eyes as well, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while inhaling your sweet scent. âMy soulmate.â He whispered in your ear, soft and sweet, and you smiled. âOnly yours.â
#let me drown in calebmc childhood sweetness#they are my everything sir#i never believed in soulmates but i believe in caleb#caleb#caleb love and deepspace#lads caleb
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THAT RAFAYEL NEW MYTH TRAILER?!? THEY PUT THEIR WHOLE FISHUSSY INTO THAT
#THE TAIL#THE TEARS#LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MORE LIKE LOVE AND DEEPLY IN DEBT#my fingers are twitching to pull#FUCK I NEED THAT FISHIE#lads rafayel#lads#rafayel
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âč àŁȘ Ëđ°âËâč⥠âč àŁȘâËâčâĄ



happy birthday to our dear caleb (à©Ëá”Ë)à©đ!! i just wanted to share some pics from my mini celebration earlier today. it was lovely seeing everyone's fanart and works today, caleb is so loved <3
Creds to @/cursed-carmine for dividers!
#the only cake i wanna eat is HIS#explode in me pls#let me lick the cream of ur body#caleb#lads caleb#caleb love and deepspace#lads#love and deepspace caleb#xia yizhou#calebration#juneleb#happy birthday caleb
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caleb's support is the only kind you need in lifeđ IM GUSHINGGG AT UR KIND WORDS!!! he's always thinking of ways to make you happy, even if his methods are questionable. love has no bounds with caleb. I need him so badly irl to help with my constant back and shoulder pain đ„čđ„č
let me hold that for you (literally)
âaka caleb being the best boyfriend and helping you with back pain dont ask me what this is, idek what this is, all i know is that caleb would fix all my problems :D
Spring cleaning meant that you and Caleb spent the whole day scouring your apartment for things you didnât need or could donate. Albeit, it was one of those days where the weight of your chest brought you nothing but pain. The knot in your shoulder seemed to tighten with each area you cleaned, and by evening, it felt like gravity had plopped two full-sized boulders on your shoulders.
Caleb notices you rubbing your shoulder and immediatley comes over to start massaging them.
âSit down, pipsqueak. Let me handle the rest.â
âItâs fine. I just have these last few boxes to go through. My back is killing me. I think I need to buy a new bra.â
You pull your shirt aside to reveal bright red indentations from your bra strap. Crap. Your comfort bra had been with you through all of college, and now it looks like itâs finally reached the end of its service.
âYou sure you dont need my help?â
âIâm fine.â
âIâm more than welcome to helââ
âThatâs really okay.â
âI can use my Evol.â
You glared at him with a look that can only be described as half-concerned, half-hoplessly-in-love.
The dead serious expression on his face tells you he absolutely means it. You could joke about needing his jacket to walk over a puddle, and heâd already be halfway through stripping off every item of clothing just so your shoes wouldnât get dirty.
âI donât knowâŠâ
âAt least let me hold them for you.â
He looks at you with eyes that could only draw you in, melt you, and leave you in a hopeless puddle. Itâs hard to say no to him like this.
Sigh.
âFine.â
So now youâre standing in the middle of the living room, experiencing sweet, miraculous relief as Caleb gently holds your breasts in his hands. His hands are more than big enough to cover the full surface area. He doesnât move, he just holds them up, letting gravity take a nap while you sort through the box on the table.
Manual titty suspension: activated.
âMy pips should never have to suffer,â he hums, nuzzling his face into your shoulder.
âDonât you feel better already?â he adds.
You let out a long exhausted sigh.
ââŠMaybeâ
Oh, he was absolutely enjoying this. And not just because he loved your boobs (though letâs be honest he does). He loves that he can help you. Deep down, heâs just grateful he can provide some comfort to the love of his life.
Sharing your burdensâliterally lifting the weight off your shouldersâis all heâs ever wanted.
âHow about tomorrow we go out and get you some new, actually supportive bras? I can start looking up some places right now. Only the best for my pips.â
a/n- self indulgent drabble bc im suffering rn. caleb would love your bazookas no matter how big or small, as long as it's yours, he cherishes them <3
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100 followers?!?! excuse me
uMMM... HI! HELLO!?! I did not expect to gain so many luvlies in such a short amount of time. I'm still trying to get used to the gimmicks of tumblr, but im so so grateful to all you sweeties that have read my works đ„čđ«¶đ»
I've received so many lovely messages and I APPRECIATE THEM ALL. It gives me so much motivation. Never could I have imagined getting back into to writing after years. it's the apple parasite in my brain taking over đčđč
I have a lot of WIPs to finish, especially his birthday fic, so you WILL be seeing more of me. I'll be there handing you tissues when I make you cry. SERIOUSLY TYSM EVERYONE ILY ALL!!! đđđ«¶đ»
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one year older - caleb ć€ä»„æŒ
youâve been completely occupied during the week of calebâs birthdayâleaving caleb needy and jealous. he intends to make up for every lost moment. a birthday special for our dearest caleb. inspired by but NOT based on âno-return night.â it will not follow the same plot or dialogue.
â .áâ§ PAIRING: caleb x female reader (afab)
â â§.Ë GENRE: smut, porn with very little plot, porn with feelings
â .áâ§ WORD COUNT: 6.9k
â â§.Ë WARNINGS: mdni, explicit sexual content, flirtatious use of âgege,â drunk!caleb, jealous!caleb, possessive!caleb, mentions of alcohol consumption, oral sex m! and f!receiving, sex on the floor, unprotected sex, swallowing, tiddy sucking, possessive behavior, cum marking kinda, gideon is mentioned a lot, caleb is pouty and sulky, squirting, multiple orgasms, lots of petnames, no use of y/n
â .áâ§ LINKS: ao3 | original inspo | shot, shot, shot, shot! fic
â â§.Ë A/N: this is kinda calebâs version of shot, shot, shot, shot! in which he is drunk and jealous and inspired by that one clip of that drunk asian guy drinking water. i may end up writing his own dedicated versionâunsure as of now since this one basically is that + birthday twist.
again, inspired by but NOT based on âno-return night.â it will not follow the same plot or dialogue.
happy birthday to our dearest xia yizhou. you are so unbelievably loved. i hope everyoneâs been having fun celebrating calebâs birthday! i will be pulling for no-return night tomorrow, wish me luck <3
THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL NEVER POST MY FICS ON OTHER TUMBLR BLOGS. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND ON AO3.
⊠. Ë â§ .á Ë nsfw | minors dni | 18+ only | minors dni | nsfw ⊠. Ë â§ .á Ë
[17:31] Brat: i canât come over tonight :-( gideon needed help picking ur gift. iâm sorry, ill see you tmw birthday boy! <3
Caleb sighs, typing a quick responseâthumbs flying across the screen. Amidst the privacy of his Fleet office, he doesnât bother to hide the disappointment or simmering jealousy from his breathy exhale.Â
[17:33] Caleb: Again? Iâve barely seen you this week :(
Youâd come to Skyhaven, taking a whole week off, to spend his birthday with him. His first birthday since everything had become so complicated.Â
And Caleb was used to sharing his birthday. Growing up, heâd always found himself throwing joint birthday parties or forgoing his birthday altogether for summer sports events.Â
But it was different now. Spending nearly an entire year playing deadâliving without you, altered his view on life. He wanted every milestone, every birthday, every little thing someone could have to look forward to.Â
And he wanted it with you.Â
Calebâs jaw ticks dangerously when you donât respond, pocketing his phone and turning back to the mission reports on his desk.Â
But he finds concentration elusive, too distracted by the irrational possessiveness bubbling inside of him. Swearing, he pulls his phone back out.Â
Nothing.Â
His chest aches with an emptiness that can only be attributed to your absence. The same dull throb he feels when he canât touch youâwhen youâre not in his field of vision. Which, lately, seemed more often than not.
Even for his birthday week in Skyhaven it seemed like Gideon got your attention more than he did. He knew the two of you were friends. Beyond the silly nostalgic times the three of you had shared during his time at Skyhaven University and Aerospace Academy, Gideon had been there for you during the hardest time of your life.Â
Fucking Gideon.
Caleb sulks childishly to himself. The logical part of him knew that the two of you were probably meeting up to scheme something for his birthday. He trusted Gideon with his life, which wasnât something he could say about many people these days.Â
He shouldnât be jealous. Rationally, he knew that.
But, when it came to you, he tended to be anything but rational.
âColonel? Sir?â
An unexpected voice cuts him out of his thoughts. He pockets his phone, quickly masking his expression. The pout he didnât even realize he wore slides off, replaced by the calculated and authoritative Colonelâs mask. He snaps without even realizing itâmuch harsher and sharper than he normally was with his subordinates.
âWhat?!â
The lieutenant standing on the other side of the desk gulps nervously, bowing his head respectfully. In less than a fraction of a second, Caleb collects himself.
âApologies. What do you need, Lieutenant?â
God, he could use a drink.Â
â
You adjust the string of twinkling lights youâd strung up on the couch in Calebâs living room. Biting your lip, you fluff up the adorable apple shaped plushie that sat on the furniture.Â
Spinning around, you take one last quick once over of the space.
The countless wrapped presents youâd gotten for him were tastefully scattered about, the projector set up against the wall just how you wanted it, every balloon meticulously placed. His living room, albeit much homier now that youâd basically taken over his life like a tornado, was normally still a bit bare. But now, it looked like something out of a dream.
Perfect.
It was the first birthday youâd be celebrating with Caleb ever since the explosion. Now that things were finally somewhat settling down into a comfortable routine, you wanted to show Caleb just how much youâd missed himâcherished him. Starting with his birthday.Â
The first of a lifetime of birthdays you would share together. Youâd make sure of that.Â
Your phone buzzes with a text, the screen lighting up with Gideonâs contact.
[8:15 PM] Gid: Let me know how Xia reacts! Good luck.
[8:15 PM] Me: i will! thank u for helping me set up again gideon!!
Your heart clenches as you catch the unread text message from the birthday boy himself. Youâd been so excited to get the house ready that youâd completely forgotten to text him back.Â
Just as youâre typing out a response, you hear the familiar sound of the front door clicking unlocked. Eyes widening, you set your phone down, carefully picking up the birthday cake youâd made and positioning yourself in the entry way that connects to the foyer.
Seconds tick by, the faint sound of fumbling making you set the cake down on the console table in a mix of confusion and worry. As youâre about to reach for the handle, the door pushes openârevealing Caleb.
In the dim entryway you donât see how slightly disheveled he is, a flush creeping up his neck. You probably wouldnât have seen it even if the light had been flipped on, far too excited to see him. To celebrate him.Â
âHappy birthday, Caleb!â you squeal, all but forgetting the uncharacteristic fumbling, bounding up to him and wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and launching yourself into his arms.
Caleb grunts in surprise, completely taken aback but catching you by your waist all the same. His lengthy fingers spread to grip you tightly, securing you against his solid body. Youâre so caught up in your excitement that you miss the odd way Caleb stumbles a step backward as he catches you.
âWell, early birthday,â you giggle, glancing at the clock.Â
8:37 PM. You hadnât even noticed how late itâd gotten. You crinkle your brows slightly, wondering how Caleb hadnât caught you in your little scheme. You were well behind schedule, considering Caleb always got home at 7:30 on the dot with his military-disciplined punctuality.Â
âI didnât think Iâd be seeing you,â Caleb murmurs into the top of your head, taking a deep inhale of your scent.Â
You laugh into his chest, the smooth leather of his uniform digging into your cheek. You sigh happily as his hands wander up, wrapping his arms around you entirely. The entire elaborate birthday surprise is briefly forgotten as you sink into his hold, missing him terribly after not seeing him much this week as you ran around scheming.
âSmell so damn good,â Calebâs voice is so muffled, his breath warm against your scalp. With his words obscured against your hair, you canât hear his slight slur.
Taking a small step backward, you peer up at him. Your knuckles brush gently across his cheek, grinning as he adorably leans into your touch.
âHow was work? You feeling okay?â
Caleb bends down to brush his lips against your temple, âI am now.âÂ
Your chest constricts, knowing youâd barely had time with him this week. Remembering why youâd had to avoid him all week, you eagerly tug him along to the living room that casts twinkling lights down the hallway like an absolute dream world. Caleb stumbles behind you, letting you pull him along. Â
Just as youâre almost in sight of the surprise youâd set up, you stop in your tracks.
âWait, wait!â You run behind him, tiptoeing up to cover his eyes with your hands, his skin hot and flushed against your palms. Distracted by your excitement, you push him along with your hands covering his eyes like a blindfold.Â
Tripping against his heels due to the height difference, you whine and retract your hands, âOkay this isn't working. Close your eyes!â
Caleb chuckles breathily and complies, his violet eyes shutting, âOf course, pip-squeak.â
Once youâre sure his eyes are closed, waving your hands in front of him for good measure, you guide him the rest of the way into the once depressing living room, now a cozy paradise for just the two of you.
âOkay, open!â
Calebâs eyes flutter open, hazy with a distinct sluggish fog that youâve yet to fully notice. The mist clears in an instant as he takes in the scene before him.
His throat tightens at the transformation the Skyhaven house undergone. The only memories he used to have in this room were the gray storm clouds that floated just outside the floor to ceiling windows when heâd jolt awake from nightmares, covered in a cold sheen of sweat.Â
Until you came back into his life.
Now, only the most pleasant memories remain. Takeout on the coffee table as you fed him dumplings cross legged on the carpet, him drying your hair as you sat in front of the glass panes watching jets fly by, you curled against his chest on the couch as movies played into the night.
The same couch that was now covered in balloons, fairy lights, and perfectly wrapped presents. Â
Without a word, Caleb pulls you flush against his body, your back pressed firmly into his chest and his bicep wrapped securely around your shoulders. You burst into a fit of laughter as he buries his face into shoulder, nuzzling his nose into the side of your face. You hold onto his arm thatâs around your chest, enjoying the way he leans into you.Â
âSo this is what you were up to, hm?â His breath is warm as it tickles you, his skin hot even under the thick layers of his uniform.Â
âYes,â you grin mischievously before turning to him with a question of your own, âWhat about you? Youâre home late today.âÂ
Now facing him, the warm glow from dozens of twinkling fairy lights illuminating his handsome face, you notice how red Caleb is.Â
His bright eyes finally flicker down, distracted by the picturesque scene behind you. His thumb brushes across your bottom lip, a familiar hungry glint in his violet eyes. Before wasting another second, he crashes his lips to yours and devours you like a man starved.
You moan as he gently demands entryâwanting more. His fingers hold you possessively, one gripping your hair and the other holding your chin as his tongue makes up for every minute he didnât get to hold you this week.
But as you lose yourself in the kiss, the faint taste of alcohol snaps you back to the present. The flushed and clammy skin, the stumbling, the slight slur.
Pulling away, you take his face into your hands and look into his starry eyes,
âCaleb Xia, are you drunk?!â
Caleb blinks at you slowly, the tips of his ears pinkening at being caught red-handed.Â
âNo, are you?â
You burst out laughing as his eyes try their best to focus on you, âYou are!â
Caleb grins crookedly at you, âNo. IâmâhiccâCaleb.â
You roll your eyes at his ill-timed hiccup, dragging him to the couch and gently pushing him down onto it. He flops onto it unceremoniously, his arm resting atop one of the apple cushions and his thighs spread wide to let you stand between them. With his other hand, he loosens his tie, his Adamâs apple bobbing thickly under his uniform.Â
You canât help but dig your teeth into your lip at how unfairly attractive heâs always been, especially in a tie. The way he loosened itâthe way he looked up at you with molten desire and longing flooding his features, nearly made your knees buckle under your own weight.Â
âWait here, dummy,â you brush his hair out of his eyes before turning away from him, intending to grab some water from the kitchen.Â
Calebâs fingers close clumsily around your wrist, yanking you back to face him.Â
âStay.â
He looks up at you with expectant eyes, his voice coming out soft and breathless. The plea is vulnerable as it is demanding.
âSpend my birthday with me.â
You smile reassuringly at him, stepping back toward him to press a tender kiss to his parted lips, the alcohol still lingering on his tongue.
âIâm just going to get you some water, okay? Iâm not going anywhere. Itâs your birthdayâyou get anything you want.âÂ
Caleb groans, almost a guttural growl, âFuck. Donât say things like that. N-Not when Iâm like this.âÂ
The heat in his voice is undeniable, making your skin crawl with burning anticipation.Â
âWater first,â you croak, âThen, whatever the birthday boy wants.âÂ
The drunken colonel pouts with distaste but lets you slip your wrist out of his grasp. Before you change your mind, you quickly make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass out of the cupboard and fill it with cool filtered water.
When you get back to the couch, Caleb looks considerably more inebriated as he plays with the silver tag of his necklace, dangling it in front of his face. When he sees you, his eyes light up and a lopsided grin appears on his face. âFinally,â he slurs, reaching out for you, âMissed you,â
You roll your eyes, letting him hook his arm around your waist, yanking you to him, âI was gone for like two minutes.â
Calebâs eyes scrunch as he pulls you back into the space between his legs, both arms looping around you.
âTwo minutes tooâhiccâlong.â
Biting your chuckle back, you take his jaw into your fingers and tilt his face up at you, bringing the water to his lips, âOpen up,â
Calebâs eyes shine with mischief, âKiss first.â
This time your laugh escapes, amused and utterly infatuated with his adorable demands. You argue, âWater first so I can sober you up. Then you can have as many kisses as youâd like.â
Caleb grumbles unhappily but obeys, his lips parting slightly and looking up at you expectantly. His breath is warm against your skin as you raise the glass back to his mouth, gently guiding his chin with your fingers.
As he drinks, you gently stroke his burning skin with your thumb. Despite protesting, he gulps the water down hungrily.Â
But his sight is entirely trained onto you and not the cup, eyes flickering down the curves of your bare shoulder. In his heated appreciation, rivulets of cold liquid dribble down his chin, dripping tantalizingly down the bulge of his neck.
His thick eyelashes flutter back up, violet eyes meeting yours with unspoken heat and longingâcompounded by the amount of times someone else had taken you from him this week.
With his face tilted up, drinking greedily from your hands, eyes wide and locked onto you with both appreciation and desperation, he looks unbelievably vulnerable. His thick arms still lock around your waist, refusing to let you go.
You swear you could stand there for an eternity just counting each of his long thick eyelashes as he looked up at you like his entire world revolved around you.Â
When he finishes, you twist around to set the glass on the coffee table behind you.Â
âSoââ
You donât get another word out before Caleb is pulling you down onto his lap and recapturing your lips in a passionate kiss. His touch is territorial and demanding, large palm cupping the small of your back, maneuvering you until youâre straddling him. His skin, damp from the spilt water, clings to yours as he picks up where heâd left off. His other hand squeezes the nape of your neck, leaving no room for escape.
The faint remnants of alcohol still linger on his tongue, but he tastes so distinctly Caleb that you canât help but whimper and reciprocate with everything you have. His unrelenting hold makes you squirm, readjusting yourself more comfortably on his lap.Â
Caleb curses, fingers digging into the plush of your thighs, trying to keep you still while he begs into your lips, âJesus princess, please stop moving like that.â
âAre you going to tell me why youâre drunk?â you counter, murmuring into his lips when heâs forced to let you go so he can hiccup.Â
Caleb kisses down your jaw until his breath is at your ear, âWent to get drinks with Liam.âÂ
Your eyes widen in pleasant surprise, âLiam? But you guys donât usuallyââ
âI thought that I wouldnât see you âtil tomorrow. Needed a distraction. So Liam offered,â he grumbles, sulking, âGideonâs been taking all your time.â
Your heart throbs at his words.Â
He didnât want to be alone.Â
âGideonâs just been helping me plan and set up. Since heâs more familiar with Skyhaven than I am.â
Calebâs eyes narrow at you, an adorable pout playing on his lips, words still slurred, âDonât tell me Gideon is going to pop out from behind the couch.âÂ
Grinning, you shake your head, âNope. Itâs just us tonight.â
His thumb brushes across your bottom lip, a familiar hungry glint in his violet eyes.Â
âGood.â
With his lips still at the hollow of your neck, his lips latch gently onto your skin, sucking a blossoming red mark right where he was sure people would see.Â
âHe told me toânghâtell you hah-happy birthday though.âÂ
Caleb only grunts in response, face buried in your neck and fingers crawling up your thighs, playing with the lace seam of your panties.
âAlso, Gideon is coming over tomorrow toââÂ
Calebâs chest rumbles with a growl, his teeth nipping the forming hickey in warning, which elicits a yelp from you, âSay his name one more time, see what happens.âÂ
You giggle at his ridiculousness, âColonel Xia, youâre so demanding when youâre drunk.â
Caleb grips your chin roughly, forcing you to level with him, âYou want to see demanding, pip-squeak?â
His voice is gravelly and completely serious, making your knees buckle, even as you straddled him. Youâd almost think you were the one who was drunk.
âDemanding is what I shouldâve been when someone else was stealing you away from me all week.â
His fingers tauntingly trace your jaw, eyes dilated as they drink in every morsel of your increasingly heavy breath.
âDemanding is when I remind you that Iâm not a man who shares, not whatâs mine.â
The heat that radiates off his body is palpable, the aura of drunken jealousy-fueled dominance and possession dripping off of him. It makes your core ache.
âDemanding is this,â Caleb takes your wrist into his hand, bringing it to the space between your bodies. He closes your finger over something warm, hard, and throbbing under his slacks.Â
Your breath catches in your throat as Caleb looks at you, his eyes darkened to a near indigo. His own breaths accelerate considerably with his bulge in your delicate hands, forcing himself not to thrust into your fingers. Â
âSo?â he rasps, âAre you going to take responsibility for this?â
You gulp, tearing your eyes away from the way he strains against the confines of his pants, absolutely tented and bricked up.Â
âAnything you want. Itâs your birthday.âÂ
Caleb swears quietly, chest heaving as he watches your eyes flutter at himâseeing how utterly serious you are about serving him.Â
âOn the floor then,â he croaks, fingers softening their hold on you so you can climb off his lap and onto the floor before him, right between his open thighs.
âGet on your knees for gege.â
The carpet is rough against your skin as you kneel before him, carefully undoing his belt and freeing his throbbing erection. As it springs free, nearly hitting you in the face, you press his burning wet skin into your palm.Â
Caleb groans as soon as you touch him, hips bucking off the couch involuntarily. He pants for air, unbearably sensitive from not only the alcohol, but from the simmering ache of jealousy that still lurks beneath his skin.Â
You give him a few firm pumps, mesmerized as your fingers catch pearly drops of his copious arousal. He was so pent upâleaking so much needâthat youâd think heâd already cum.
âFuckâtake me in your mouth,â Caleb commands, guiding you just how he liked it. You giggle at his demands, darting your tongue out to catch the beads of precum making its way down his thick shaft.Â
Caleb groans, his fingers digging into the soft apple cushion, âGodâthat fucking tongueâŠâ
When you finally sink him into the warm wet recesses of your mouth, Caleb threads his fingers into your hair, gripping tightly.Â
âMore,â he croaksâyour name spilling from his lips like a prayer, stroking your scalp, âNeed more.â
You hum, slowly taking him deeper into your mouth and eventually your throat. Caleb unconsciously thrusts into you, unable to control himself when you take him this well, this obediently.
âJesus, baby,â he grunts, his restraint hanging on by a thread, âThe things you do to meâŠâ
His chest heaves as you take him fully, your lips pressed against his pelvis. You can feel your panties becoming increasingly wet as he praises you. Wanting to hear more, more of his addicting noises, more of his filthy praises, you progressively go faster. Exactly how he liked it.
âF-Fuckâfuck!â Caleb throws his head back with his slurred cries of ecstasy, âNeed to flood that perfect fucking throat.â
Whining, your enthusiasm soars, the prospect of his finish fueling your own excitement. Your tongue teases the throbbing vein that crawls up the underside of his girth, knowing how insane it always drives him.Â
Calebâs pushing your head down now, his pleasure bursting the dam of restraint.
âHahâclose, princess,â he looks down at you with pleading hooded eyes, his cheeks red with both the flush of alcohol and the pleasure of your wicked tongue.Â
âLook at me.â
If it was one thing Caleb loved, it was making you look into his eyes as he filled you.Â
He lifts your chin just slightly, throbbing as you peer up at him through your wet eyelashes.Â
âGodâyouâre so damn beautiful. All fucking mine.âÂ
At the sight of your teary eyes fluttering up at him, cheeks hollow as you devoured him, lips puffy and kiss bitten, Caleb explodes without a further warning. He coats every inch of your mouth, your throat, with himself.Â
You do your best to take every single drop, but it inevitably dribbles down your lips as you choke lightly.Â
âSwallow,â Caleb rasps, animalistic hunger dripping from his words. His thumb presses into your bottom lip, collecting rivulets that had escaped and popping his finger into your mouth, âAll of it.âÂ
Even without his demand, you wouldâve done just that. With your eyes never leaving his, you dramatically gulp, letting your tongue caress his digit as you pull yourself off.
As soon as your lips leave him, heâs hoisting you up by your waist, throwing you under his body and onto the plush couch. He hovers above you, using his knee to part your thighs, nearly coming in contact with your soaking panties.
âSo fucking good for me. My good girl.â
He doesnât give you a chance to speak, his lips coming down to claim yours. You gasp as his tongue invades your mouth, giving him easy access to you. Youâre still salty with the taste of his own finish, yet so unbearably sweet with your own unique taste, only making him more eager. Feverish. Frenzied.Â
His hands are everywhere, under your skirt, in your hair, gripping your chin. Every moan, every whimperâhe consumes with desperation bordering on insanity.Â
Too lost in the passion of his lips, you hardly notice when the two of you roll off the couch. You can vaguely hear the clatter of something falling, feeling Calebâs hand move against the back of your head and tailboneâshielding you from the impact.Â
âOops,â Caleb grins, lips puffy, still hovering above you, âGot carried away.â
Laughing, your fingers reach up to take his face into your hands. He leans into your touch, turning his face so he can brush a wet kiss into your palm. The floor is hard against your back, the carpet giving you rugburn, but with Caleb above you, it feels perfect.Â
âHow are you feeling now?âÂ
Calebâs eyes hungrily trail down your body, perfectly pinned under his. His eyes darken, hooded with desire thatâd hardly been quelled.Â
His voice is a gravelly slur, âFeel likeâŠunwrapping some presents.â
Your heart races as his fingers snake up your arm, finding the black straps of your dress.Â
âCalebâŠâ
With one gentle tug, he unravels the neatly tied ribbons on your shoulders. His throat bobs hungrily as he takes you in, fingers tracing heated paths down your skin while he pulls the bodice of your dress down slightly to expose more of you to his ravenous eyes.
âYou wrapped yourself up so beautifully for me,â he swears under his breath when he unveils your intricate lingerie, your nipple visible just beneath the lace.
âFuck.â
He canât stop himself from dipping down, capturing your breast even through the sheer fabric of your bra.Â
âCalebâw-wait!â you cry, not convincing even yourself. Your eyes roll heavenward, arching into his hot demanding tongue even through the uncomfortably feeling of wet fabric.
He nips playfully at your sensitive peaks, looking up at you through his eyelashes, eyebrows hooded with hunger.Â
His breath is so hot it makes you writhe with need as he speaks into your skin, âWait for what, princess? Iâve been waiting all week.â
You chuckle breathily before peeling into a pleasured squeal when he bites down, gently but firmly, âF-Fine. Only because itâs yourâmmnghâbirthday!â
Caleb chuckles darkly, releasing your other nipple with a wet pop, âAre you sure about that, sweets?â
He makes a show of raising the skirt of your dress, the rug fibers tickling your thighs. Drinking in each and every one of your delicious mewls, he smirks, âIf I recall correctly, youâre always good at taking orders from your Colonel.â
Youâre about to retort, fiery sass on the tip of your tongue, when Caleb flicks your swollen clitâprecise and intentional. Your cry is sharp as it is pleasured, your fingernails digging painfully into the carpet, thighs closing against Caleb's solid body.Â
âCaleb!â
He grins, âYeah, baby?â
âYou know whatângh fuck!â Youâre cut off again when he lowers his head to lick a hot wet stripe down your slit, all the way to your throbbing clit, right through the fabric of the lace panties.
âFuuuck, did you get this wet just from sucking gegeâs cock?â he groans, breath hot against your trembling sensitive lips, âYou spoil me.âÂ
As soon as the pleasure comes, it disappears, Caleb withdrawing with a crazed look of mischief in his galaxy eyes.Â
âSay it.â
You whine, your hips bucking upâinstinctively chasing Calebâs touch. He pushes you back down, his palm flat against your stomach and lips latched into the soft skin of your inner thigh. So close to where you need him most.
âSay it.â
Caleb is drunk off something entirely different now, making little to no sense as his tongue darts out to sample you again.Â
âF-Fuckâsay what?! What do you want me toâmmnghâsay?â
He lifts your ruined panties to the side, eyes dilated with pure hunger. Unable to stop himself, even when he wants to tease you, he leans back in. His tongue parts your lips, teasing your entrance.Â
Words vibrating into your soul, he grunts, âSay you only take orders from me.âÂ
Deciding to give in, lest he take away the pleasure just as it began, you sit up on your elbows, âOnly you Caleb. Only ever t-take orders from my gege.âÂ
Calebâs fingers tighten around your thighs, his Adamâs apple bobbing with the weight of his desperate breaths. His eyes, delirious with hunger, lock onto yours as he leans back onâfully ready to devour you now.Â
âAnd you look so damn perfect doing it.âÂ
You fall backward as Caleb tugs you forward, lifting you until your pussy was level with him as he sat up. Youâre surprised when your head hits a soft apple plush, gut fluttering as you realize Caleb had used his Evol to position the pillow when heâd yanked you towards him.
He was always thinking of youâprotecting you.
Just as your skull thumps gently into the cushion, he buries himself in you, so eagerly that his teeth nearly knock into your fevered skin. Heâd spent so many hours which his tongue nestled inside you that he could practically draft blueprints on exactly how you liked it.Â
Slow. Attentive. Devoted.
And Caleb was always an over-achiever.
With you stretched out on his tongue, his nose brushing insistently into your hardened clit, he shows you the utmost reverence, worshiping you like the absolute perfection you were.
âO-Oh god Caalebâ! Just like that. Please donât stop.â
He grunts in approval, letting his deep voice vibrate against your quivering skin. Diligently coaxing your orgasm from you, Caleb inserts one of his skilled fingers. Then two.Â
âNever going to stop,â he moans into your core, âThatâs what I want for my birthday. To be inside of you forever.â
You whine at his words, his fingers easily finding your soft g-pot, âW-Want that too. Hahâplease, gege.â
Caleb nearly snarls at your breathy words, fingers digging into your skin.
âThatâs my fucking girl,â he growls into you, coaxing you deliberately, âYou know exactly who you belong to, hm?â
You whimper, nodding eagerly as he purposely drags his nose against you. Caleb nearly goes feral at your intoxicating scent, needing your orgasm more than he needs his next breath.
âCum for me, baby,â he murmurs, voice deep and velvety, âItâs my birthday, right? Show me how much you need me.âÂ
His lips gently close over your aching nub, sucking hard. Your eyes widen when the pads of his fingertips, deep inside you, stroke demandingly against your most sensitive parts, all but ensuring your heavenly downfall. Â
Back arching deeply, the end of your spine digging painfully into the hard floor, your body gives him the thing heâd wanted above anything else, any other gift.Â
âNnnghâfeels so fucking good. I-I canâtâno more!âŠCumming!âÂ
Calebâs chest rumbles as his tongue skillfully catches every drop of your climax, holding your thighs firmly as they quake uncontrollably against him.Â
Youâre a whimpering mess, never quite able to get used to just how devotedly he tends to you. Your chest heaves as Caleb sets you back down, wiping his shiny lips with the back of his hand.Â
âThank you, princess.â
Vision blurry, you sit up on shaky arms to watch him. He fists his cock slowly, already hard and wanting again.
âYou did not just thank me for sex,â you laugh breathlessly, making a face at him.Â
Caleb grins, gently pinning you back to the floor. One hand restrains both of yours while the other tilts your chin up at him.Â
âThink of it asâŠthanking you for the best gift Iâve ever received.â
Caleb carefully chooses his words, fully intending for you to pick up on the double meaning behind them. You were the greatest thing in his life.Â
âMore?â Caleb asks breathlessly, his wide violet eyes desperately pleading with yours, but fully prepared to stop if you needed a break.Â
âMore. Donât tell me the birthday boy is an old man already,â you grin at him playfully.Â
Caleb smirks, devastatingly handsome, leaning down to brush his lips tauntingly against yours.Â
âBrat.â
He firmly cups the back of your head and claims your lipsâdeliciously bruising and punishing.Â
With both his hands, he pins your wrists on either side of your head, rendering you completely pliant at his mercy.Â
âI might be one year older,â he murmurs as he kisses down your neck, selectively leaving hickeys on your most sensitive parts.
âBut I am still perfectly capable of satisfying my girl.â
Caleb presses his lips to yours, consuming you entirely and irrevocably. The taste of alcohol had completely faded away, leaving only the taste of the man youâd loved all your life. The taste of excitement, desperation, longing, and possession.
You feel him use one hand to line himself up with your entrance, entering your with one measured thrust. He swallows your pleasured gasp, pinning your hands back down gently, fingers carefully intertwining with yours.
âChrist,â Caleb groans, his lips still brushing against yours as he gently rolls his hips into you, âTight little cunt, sâall mine, right?â
âCaaleb,â you moan brokenly, a mix of your release and his saliva making it much easier to accommodate his thick girth, âNnghâmore. Please.â
Caleb growls, his pelvis hitting your thighs with a powerful pitched clap. Itâs enough to fuck your breath out of you, your body sliding up against the rough rug painfully. The feeling of his leaking cockhead claiming every sensitive spot inside of you makes the pain of the friction fade away, your eyes rolling back deeply.Â
Your needy words go straight to Calebâs cock, quelling the irrational jealousy thatâd been brewing inside him and fueling the possessiveness he felt over you.Â
Caleb grabs a throw pillow off the couch, lifting you effortlessly to place it under your hips. The elevation gives him the perfect angle to repeatedly hit your g-spot as it brushed bruisingly into your cervix.Â
âSo greedy,â he whispers, groaning at the way you wring his cock, âPussyâs so damn needy. You should see how youâre sucking me in, baby.â
Caleb straightens up, one of your legs wrapped around his waist and the other resting straight against his shoulder as he grips it to his body. He presses tender kisses into your ankle, a sharp contrast to the way he bullies himself into your tight heat.
âHahâhear that?â he murmurs, fingers finding your clit, making the sounds of wet sinful pleasure even more pronounced, âThatâs how much you need me.â
For how self-assured Caleb was in his everyday life, he sounded very much like he was convincing himself and not you.
âCourse I need you,â you moan, reassuring the side of him that you know has been hurting this week, âMmmnghâIâll a-always need you. Always want you.
He kisses down your calf, so absolutely devoted to worshipping youâto showing you how much he needs you. When he reaches your knee, he wraps your leg back around him, lowering himself to your flushed face. His rhythm is intentional and powerful, each stroke meant to pleasure you and not him.
With your chin softly in his fingersâ grip, he croaks with finality, âYouâre mine.âÂ
But this time itâs not demanding or possessive, but a desperate promise.Â
âShow me, Caleb,â you encourage, his urgency fueling your own orgasm. Calebâs jaw tightens, the bulge in his neck bobbing thickly.Â
âEveryday,â he whispers into your mouth, nipping at your puffy lips, âIâll show you, every fucking day.â
Closing the rest of the distance, Caleb captures you in a kiss that speaks volumes to how wholly you consumed himâhow desperately he needs to be consumed by you.
You can tell heâs close, moaning unabashedly into your mouth, hips stuttering against your own trembling body. You can practically feel his cock throbbing as it tries to bury into your damn cervix, coating your walls in beads of precum. Heâs pinned you by your wrists again, fingers stroking yours, needing the illusion of complete control over you.
Pulling away, saliva still connecting the two of you, Caleb groans as his balls tighten with that unmistakable tension, âShit, you feel so good. I-I canât stop.â
Your toes curl, digging into his back, âNoâdonât stop, please donât fucking stop.â
âGonnaâsh-shitâcum in you princess,â Caleb warns, âNeed to fill you up. HaahâNeed you to feel me for days.â
You cry out at his filthy promises, body tightening in excitement, his fingers releasing you in favor of finding both your hardened peaks, one hand at your clit and the other at your breast.Â
âJesusâdon't squeeze me like that,â he pleads darkly, forcefully being pushed to his precipice, âYou like that idea baby?â
Calebâs fingers press down, eliciting the most beautiful sounds heâs ever heard.
âY-Yes!â you cry, so close to release youâd say anything if it meant you got to cum with his cock inside you.
His eyes darken, jaw ticking, your name a dangerous purr on his lips.
âIâm going to hold you to that.â
Calebâs hips snap painfully into your ass, once. He collapses on top of you, catching himself by his palms on the floor framing both sides of your face.
âFuckâyouâre so fucking perfect. Feels like heaven inside of you.â
Twice.
âGonna let gege cum inside you, right princess?â
A third time.
âSh-shitâgonna be able to smell me on you. In you.â
A fourth, final, time.
âYou can take it, right baby? My good fucking girl.â
You cum with a strangled cry of his name, back arching against the cushion, fingers digging roughly into Calebâs hair. Thereâs an uncomfortable wet splash that accompanies your climax, your entire body shaking violently against his faltering thrusts.
âChristâ!â Caleb groans, âDid you just squirt for me?â
Your explosion of ecstasy thrusts Caleb into his own violent release, the thick cords of muscles in his abdomen twitching as his body unleashes into yours, powerful and mind numbing.Â
A bead of sweat falls from his skin to yours, his entire body strained with the force of his orgasm. Thick hot jets of his seed coat your aching walls, still pulsing insistently against his throbbing cock.
âF-Fuck I canâtâŠâ Calebâs groan is strangled, falling onto his elbows, careful not to crush you.
âWhatâs wrong?â you whisper quietly, voice weak, groaning as he twitches inside you.
âNghâcanât stop cumming,â Caleb grunts, his entire body shaking as he holds himself above you.
You look down at where your bodies are still connected, his hips still thrusting shallowly into you.
âBear with me, princess,â he rasps apologetically. Your trembling hands reach up to gently hold his face, bringing it to yours.
You press a tender kiss to his parted lips, your tongue gently teasing his, encouraging him to ride out the waves of his orgasm.Â
Calebâs cheeks are flushed adorably red as you let him go, his hips finally stilling. Carefully, he gathers you into his arms, flipping the two of you around so that you lay on top of him, his body shielding you from the floor now.
He brushes his lips to your temple, whispering softly, âBest fucking birthday.â
At the mention of his birthday, youâre reminded of the birthday cake that was left forgotten on the entryway console table. Sitting up suddenly, you gently extricate yourself from Calebâs hold, much to his pouty dismay.Â
âStay here, Iâll be right back!â
Caleb groans as he slips out of you against his will. If it was up to him, heâd spend his entire birthday buried inside of you.
But as you walk away on trembling legs, his cum drips down your thighs, giving Caleb the perfect view as he lays on the floor looking up at your retreating form.Â
He feels himself hardening at the thought of his claim running down your legs tomorrow, when Gideonâ
âHappy birthday!â
Caleb sits up on the carpeted floor to watch you return with a lit birthday cake in your hands, singing happy birthday. The cake has lost its form, having melted when it was forgotten out in the warmth of the house, much of the toppers pitifully drooping against their own weight.Â
And yet, as you present it to him, beaming ear to ear, hair disheveled, dress hanging off your chest, thighs pressed together in an attempt to stop the sticky mess between your legs from dripping, serenading himâŠ
Heâd never seen anything more beautiful.
âSorry,â you say sheepishly when you finish the song, âIt kinda got ruined, butââ
Caleb cuts you off with a tender thumb to your lips.
âItâs perfect. Youâre perfect.â
You blush, grinning up at him.Â
âMake a wish!â
Caleb smiles ever-so-slightly, just the corners of his lips turning up, his fingers moving to cup your chin and tilt your face up at him.Â
âWhat if I already have everything Iâve ever wanted?â
His violet eyes shine with a torrent of emotions that threatens to consume you whole, your own eyes stinging with feelings that threaten to escape.Â
You bite your lip as he strokes your jaw, âDoesnât matter. You have to make a wish.âÂ
You lift the cake so that it separates your bodies, the melting candle burning between your faces. Caleb chuckles before stepping back and closing his eyes.Â
When they finally open, he leans down to blow the candle out. His eyes flutter to yours as he extinguishes the flame, conveying the magnitude of his wordsâhis wishes.Â
Every single one of them began and ended with you.Â
As he pulls away, you ask him the same question you asked him every birthday.Â
âWhat did you wish for?âÂ
Caleb laughs, taking the cake from your hands to set down on the coffee table, âMy lips are sealed, pip-squeak. If I say, it wonât come true. And I really need this one to pull through.âÂ
Your eyes light up with unbridled curiosity, âNow you have to tell me!âÂ
âNo.âÂ
âYes.âÂ
âNope.â
âPleaaaaaase!â
âQuit it.âÂ
âPlease, please, please!âÂ
Caleb turns to you as he pulls you down onto the couch with him, his amethyst irises bright with amusement and adoration. He couldnât tell you what he really wished forâthat in the next lifetime, heâd be able to find you and youâd let him take your hand again. If not that, then a seagull that could fly freely with you by his side, through the salty summer skies.
He chuckles, tucking your head under his chin, resting against your infinite warmth, âFineâÂ
You look up at him in surprise, listening attentively, practically boiling over with curiosity.Â
Caleb takes a deep breath, looking at you with seriousness that makes your heart hammer, âI wished that Gideon would stub his big toe onââÂ
Interrupting him by flicking his forehead, you tut playfully, âOne year older and still a child.âÂ
Caleb grins, capturing your wrist before you can pull away and bringing your fingers to his lips reverently.Â
âGood thing we have an entire lifetime of birthdays for me to grow up.â
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you threaten caleb with trimming your bush (soap opera)
caleb x fem!reader
synopsis: mid-argument with your boyfriend, you threaten to trim your bush
themes: nsfw (not necessarily sexual but tagging for good measure), crackfic, angst, soap opera!au, narration breaks the fourth wall, 1.1k words
inspired by this comedy panty sniffing fic by @orphicmeliora

Join us for another evening showdown in Calebâs Skyhaven apartment between you and the colonel himself! For the third time this week, the cabin was experiencing some turbulence as the pilot and co-pilot went head to head.
On todayâs episode: another case of jealousy â the esteemed Farspace Fleetâs colonel strikes again to remind his lover of who their focus should be on.
âIâm serious, Caleb! This is ridiculous! You canât just remove people from my life!â The at-home viewers âooâ at your proclamation.
Caleb shrugs, âHe was getting too close, pipsqueak. You shoulda seen the way he was looking at you.â
âI did because I was there, Caleb!â You shout. Your hands are on your hips, cheeks flushed beneath your makeup as you grit your teeth. Your gaze cuts through the air like a knife, stabbing deep into the swelling heart of your boyfriend. He looks away momentarily, searching for clarity amid your bumpy argument.
Taking control once more, he grunts out, âYou donât understand, honey.â
âI donât understand?! WHAT donât I understand, Caleb?â Your sweet features twist into a nasty scowl, venom dripping from your once-bubbly voice as Caleb circles the runway. Ten seconds turn into twenty, and ding ding ding, his time is up!
âYOU! YOU DONâT UNDERSTAND. YOUâRE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!â You yell, your chest rising and falling erratically as if this fight was physically exhausting. Arguing with Caleb is like punching a puppy-eyed brick wall. His head is so goddamn thick, nothing gets through; only your knuckles get bloodied. But his honeyed gaze turns your anger into adoration, prompting you to pat his head and scratch behind his ears to reward him like a good boy.
Housewives shriek at their screens, begging the pilot to wag his tail instead of baring his canines.
Staccato strings accompany your next outburst, âTHATâS IT, CALEB!â You storm off into the apartment, down the hall and round into your bedroom. Slamming the door open, you start tearing everything in sight apart as you search for the one item every woman needs. Your absolute ride or die, confidence booster, pussy smoother.
Caleb stands there, shell-shocked in the living room. The camera zooms in, catching the distant look in his eyes, alluding to the cold colonel he is. But this gaze is different. Not devoid of life, but reaching out in the darkness to cling onto it. And heâs screaming Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! in the confines of the cockpit.
Bolting to the explosive sounds of ruckus-making, Caleb finds you holding the magical MacGuffin.
The MacGuffin of his nightmares.
âNO!â He screeches. âPlease, baby! Anything but that!â Stumbling into the bedroom in his sorrow-filled daze, the fearsome pilot collapses on the plush carpet. The space between you morphs into a battlefield, no mercy in your eyes as you stare at a traitor.
âPLEASE, PIPS, PLEASE! IâLL DO ANYTHING!â He cries out, tears welling in his pretty violets. Such emotion tugs on your heartstrings and claws at your throat, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
âItâs my bush, Caleb! And I can do whatever I want with it!â You scold him, your words like molten dripping on his bare flesh. Theyâre etched into his psyche, fuelling his cloudy vision. A single tear rolls down his freckled cheek, sending the remote crowd wild.
Look at that tear! A bonus is in order, the director thinks.
âAny last words,â you mutter, cocking your head and raising your perfectly arched eyebrow. Caleb crawls toward you, the carpet burning his hands and knees, reduced to a blubbering infant as he clutches your baby-smooth, hairless leg.
âPlease,â he sobs into your warm skin. âNot the bush. P-please! Any-anything but t-the bush.â By the shoulder, you push him back. He falls on his ass like a ragdoll, distraught eyes begging you as his voice fails him. You flick on the gadget, about to bring utter destruction and complete chaos to Calebâs safe, contented little world.
Focusing on his face, the audience catches your boyfriendâs slobbering wails as you yank down your lounge shorts and panties in one go, bringing the stuttering bikini trimmer to your most intimate parts.
âNO!â He lurches forward and grabs the weapon, playing tug-of-war with you. Like a rabid pack animal, heâs relentless. Heâs got your trimmer like a dog does your homework, instinctively thrashing the poor device around and delivering vengeance.
âCaleb!â You shout in your panic, letting go of the MacGuffin and sending him tumbling backwards. The six-foot-two man does a few roly polies until his form shatters. Veering to the side, he cracks open like an unsuccessful pokĂ©mon capture. You hike up your pants, regaining your demureness while Caleb regains his balance.
He searches frantically for the self-detonate button, but there is none! Settling for the off-switch, he claws the batteries out and hurls them beneath your bed for safety. Stomping over to him, you wrestle the tampered-with trimmer out of his grimy paws.
âNo, pips! I canât let you!â Caleb exclaims.
âLet go!â
âNO!â Somehow, he pulls you forward and causes you to plummet into his lap like an autumn leaf to the ground.
âCaleb!â He tosses the inanimate enemy away, soothing jazz creating a certain ambience as you shove his chest. The pilot wraps his beefy arms around you and draws you in tight. Angling your head into the crook of his neck, viewers catch the perfect over-the-shoulder shot of Caleb staring at the floor with a million emotions swimming in the depths of his intergalactic eyes.
He sighs loudly, âDonât ever do that to me again, honey! I donât know what Iâd do ifâŠâ His solemn voice trails off into nothingâ as if the mere thought of your delicious cunt being bald was agonising enough. And to comprehend the reality that you were almost about to bring such trauma to life! Your boyfriend canât bear it.
The focus switches to your subdued expression, your hands rubbing his back gently, like tides lapping at the shoreline. You shake your head; a resounding ânoâ. You two arenât out of the danger zone yet.
âI just want you to take me seriously, babe. I feel like you never take me seriously,â you sigh.
âI do, honey! I swear I do!â He insists. But itâs insincere, the tense strings underscoring the smooth top notes clue the audience in.
The colonel returns as Caleb murmurs, âBut there are some things even a man like myself wonât tolerate.â A slow zoom out, capturing the blood-stained gaze Caleb gives the discarded bikini trimmer.
The upbeat theme music cuts in as black fills the screen and the credits roll.

masterlist
star girl's final words: i've been wanting to write something kinda crack fic-esque since reading the inspired fic and this came to me. hope it was okay. this is my first time writing something like this.
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Faking It, Feeling It â Caleb x Reader/MC

summary : When Caleb agreed to be your fake boyfriend at your exâs birthday party, it was supposed to be harmless. Some acting, stolen kisses when people were watching to sell the illusion. But those stolen glances, touches and kisses felt somewhat more real than they should have been. You didnât care, though. Maybe this whole fake dating thing was going to be successful.
setting : alternate universe - university/college
contents : no use of y/n, fake dating, jealous MC, no gender MC, oblivious feelings, lots of kissing, kissing practice, kinda wholesome, use of pipsqueak, complete fluff if not for some tension here and there.
1,3k words - one shot
Caleb always knew about your strange situations with boys; since high school, you never found someone who was willing to accept your peculiar friendship with Caleb. Of course, you knew how it looked from outside â many people often told you both that you would make the perfect couple, and sometimes you thought that too.
So, after your last relationship ended brutally because he was an immature boy who couldnât stand being two meters away from you, you didnât expect him to invite you to his birthday party.
You sighed deeply as you read the message again and again. It had been almost six months since you broke up and you really were over him already â not that it was so hard with Caleb next to you â but you didnât expect something like that. And you knew that, if you went alone, he would only try to get back together with you. So you did what had already happened once: asked Caleb to be your fake boyfriend for the night.
The last time it happened was during Calebâs graduation, where he asked you to be his fake partner to avoid getting jumped on by some random girls who had a crush on him. You immediately accepted, not really happy about some annoying girls trying to pull Caleb away from you.
âSo you need my help, pips?â he asked with a smirk, loving to hear you say that you needed him. It made him proud.
âYeah, I donât want to reject him again during his birthday, so I might as well act like I have a boyfriend to make him stay distant.â you sighed again, looking up at your best friend with a pout and big puppy eyes. âIâve already helped you once, so you should return the favour!â
Honestly, you didnât need to convince him. He was more than glad to be your fake boyfriend for a whole night, and you knew it: it was clear in how his eyes sparkled with mischief.
What you didnât expect, though, was him asking to practice kissing.
âWhat?â you asked, confusion clear on your face. He chuckled, a bit of blush appearing on his ears. âI said, we should practice kissing. Itâll be suspicious if we never kiss during the whole night.â his eyes left yours for some seconds â seconds during which you were completely silent. Then, an embarrassed chuckle.
âFineâ you said and you could swear his eyes lit up once again.
Thatâs how you found yourself straddling his lap, arms around his neck as you both looked at each other in the eyes. The lap part wasnât really part of the plan, but you insisted that it created more intimacy and made it easier for you both. His hands were only grazing your hips, in case you somehow fell, but never actually touched you. The air around you was dense with tension as your lips brushed his, your breath tickling him.
Despite being his idea, it was you who initiated the kiss, your lips clumsily moving against his in a silly kiss. After the first hesitation, Caleb returned your kiss with a chuckle at your inexperience despite having been in more relationships than him.
You broke the kiss only to glance down at him, a blush spread all over your pretty face. He chuckled again, the vibration in his chest spreading a warm sensation in your chest as you relaxed more in his arms. This was just practice, yes. To avoid your ex annoying you tonight. Totally understandable. And normal⊠Yeah.
Caleb tilted his head to the side, his eyes scanning your face for any signs of uncertainty, but as he saw none, he closed the gap between you both, kissing you more intensely than you did before, guiding your lips against his with care. His hands finally â finally â really grabbed your hips, pulling you closer to him until you were chest to chest. You gasped in the kiss before laughing softly, your hands finding his hair and playing with a strand. It all felt strangely familiar and new at the same time, making your head spin.
It wasnât the first time you kissed. When you were little kids, you asked him how to kiss someone and he said that only he could be your first kiss. Thatâs how he later found your little self clumsily kissing him before crossing your arms on your chest and pouting at him.
The second time happened during high school, when you were both frustrated and confused about your feelings. You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him angrily after a girl flirted with him right in front of you.
This was now your third time and it still felt like the first, butterflies in your stomach as you broke the kiss to breathe again. Calebâs eyes were still closed as he rested his forehead against yours, a smile on his lips. âYou still kiss like the first time, pips.â he mocked you and it made you roll your eyes, but honestly you loved how he always remembered everything about you. âAnd youâre still annoying as before.â you remarked, earning a low chuckle that made you blush.
The sound of your phone ringing brought you back to reality, eyes widening as the alarm you set to remind you of the even went on. Caleb released your hips and helped you get down his lap, even if you could feel him being more tense than usual. You thought it was only your imagination, though, so you brushed it off as you walked upstairs to get ready for the party.
The music was soft, people were laughing and chatting together, low lights casting a soft glow around everyone. It wasnât a messy party â actually, it was really comfortable and relaxing. If only you could relax. You and Caleb had been glued to each otherâs side all night, smiling, touching and whispering words that are meant to be jokingly flirty, but only felt intimate.
A friend of yours passed by with a smirk, ready to tease you both. âStill in the honeymoon phase I see.â they chuckled, earning a roll of your eyes and a chuckle from Caleb. âWhat can I say. Canât keep my hands off my pips.â he said, almost too confidently to be fake. It was supposed to be a joke, but his hand stayed wrapped around your waist tightly even after your friend left you alone again.
After a while, the music shifted to something slower, more relaxed, as couples filled the dance floor. You looked up at Caleb with a mischievous smirk before grabbing his hand and pulling him on the dance floor as well. âWe donât need toââ he tried to protest, but you interrupted him. âPeople are watching. Letâs give them a show.â
So you start to dance together, his hands still on your waist as yours reached his neck. You were so close you could feel every breath Caleb took, barely speaking to each other as your eyes locked with his. Suddenly, he broke the silence with a whisper. âYouâre good at this.â You tilted your head, smiling. âDancing? Or faking it?â
Caleb showed a bit of hesitation before chuckling, voice low and measured. âBoth.â
He noticed how people were looking at you dancing and decided to put on a show, slowly getting closer to give you time to back off in case you felt uncomfortable â before kissing you in the middle of the dance floor. You immediately returned the kiss as if it was second nature for you, and that made Caleb crave even more. This whole fake dating thing was starting to make you greedy and he noticed as well.
When you broke the kiss, you both smiled at each other, people around you now forgotten. âYouâre getting better at kissing, but we might need some more practice when we get back home.â he mocked you in a whisper and â if usually you would have hit him on the arm â this time you chuckled and nodded. âFine by me.â
Looks like this whole fake dating thing was going to be prolonged for a while. And you didnât mind one bit.
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