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this animal

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Tulip Pouch Bag, a free crochet video tutorial designed by Thao Homemade Crochet on Ravelry.

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“me when i lie” is the funniest way to call someone a liar the internet has cooked up thus far

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i need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash

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i need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash

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divorce themed restaurant menu

dessert: CUSTARDy Battle

yeah that's all i've got so far sorry

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Stole this tweet so I could put it here and have the ability to reblog it a bajillion times in row

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So I'd like you to meet my partners. This is the broken, this is the beaten, and this is the damned.

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Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.

"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."

"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"

"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."

"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"

"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."

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The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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Hey yall guess whos revived for art fight again, new Billy ref YIPPEEEEE

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i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby