remyxjameson

[remyxjameson]

julian snapped at him and remy visibly recoiled, trying not to take it personally considering the situation that they found themselves in now. he had too easily slipped back into the mindset that they were back in college, that they were still the same people with the same relationships, but they weren't and julian was right, for the most part. "why would i leave? people are missing, julian. i'm aware that most would probably leave without a care if it was me that was missing but that's not what i would do whether they remember my existence or not."

it stung, if he were honest, because wasn't julian with them too? with the people who had forgotten he existed? "i have nothing to lose except my own self-respect. i couldn't live with myself if i left, could you? besides, do you know how fucking bad it would look for me if i left after this? barely any of them ever trusted me, they would all think i had something to do with it. the amount of people that stopped speaking to me the moment jamie passed was enough to prove that." a beat, as he looked up at the other male. "you talk as though you're not a part of them, part of the people that forgot my existence. aside from seeing my book, you probably never thought about me either, julian. but if anything, i'm surprised you haven't taken ellie and left." he hated talking about this, he wanted to do something, anything. remy stood, keeping the blanket around him, "do you want something to eat? i can make something for us. i don't want to fight, julian, not with you." cooking was a good distraction, something to take his mind away from everything that he had seen.

‎ julian hadn’t wanted to think about it, didn’t want to give the person who orchestrated this terrible, sick joke the attention they wanted. he hoped that if he ignored it, it would just solve itself, that the three missing girls would soon return from their trip to a neighboring town to get supplies and they could all just laugh about how they got stuck because of a fallen tree or something and how silly it was for anyone to think that this was anything like the movies they grew up watching.

he knew about the search party, and while he could’ve offered his help, made himself more useful, he’d deliberately stayed out of it, wanting to get as less involved as possible when he was sure that eleanore was safe. that was all that mattered to him. he hadn’t thought about any of the others in almost ten years. 

he had no intentions of staying in the room when he was just walking past, but remy's voice had caught his attention

“we don’t need to do anything,” he snapped, voice crackling like the fire before them. he truthfully wasn’t feeling up for a conversation, but something about the way remy was bundled up in the blanket, his hair a damp mess and his thoughts coming out in frazzled streams from his pale lips made julian linger even just for a little while. he couldn't just walk away from him, though it did annoy him a little when he'd started entertaining the thought of him, and especially ellie, being in danger. "why don't you just leave, then?" he shifted his weight to his heels as he leaned against one of the wooden beams holding the ceiling up, as if to protest that he was not going to stay long to discuss this. "these people forgot you existed for ten years. you got nothing to lose, remy. you can walk out anytime."

[remyxjameson]

remy pulled his phone out, hoping that he would have signal so that he could call for help. he didn't, he never really had done up here. "there's still no signal. can't call for help." he pocketed his phone, eyes glancing out over the blood again. he didn't know what to say, hands shaking as he brought them to his mouth. god, he felt sick. "it looks. . . it looks like there was a struggle. this much blood, miki, i-- we should look for something. clues, or i don't know. something, anything." there had to be something, if the snow hadn't already covered it. remy had no idea what to do, didn't know what they should touch and what they shouldn't. "do you think we should go and get the others? i don't know what to do, miki."

miki  had  been  doing  her  best  to  keep  her  thoughts  from  spiraling  ...  focusing  on  putting  one  foot  in  front  of  the  other,  on  not  slipping,  on  pretending  like  this  wasn’t  the  worst  idea  she’d  ever  had,  but  the  second  remy  said  her  name,  something  in  his  voice  sent  a  jolt  of  panic  through  her.  she  stopped  short,  barely  managing  not  to  stumble  into  him,  and  followed  his  gaze.  oh.  oh,  that  was  ...  god,  that  was  so  much  blood.  her  breath  hitched,  throat  tightening  as  her  stomach  twisted  all  over  again.  “oh  my  god,”  she  blurted,  voice  high  and  thin.  a  nervous  laugh  bubbled  up  before  she  could  stop  it,  sharp  and  wrong  in  the  cold  air.  she  forced  it  back  down,  shaking  her  head  quickly,  hands  twitching  like  she  didn’t  know  what  to  do  with  them.  “maybe  ...  maybe  it  looks  worse  than  it  is?  like,  head  wounds  bleed  a  lot,  right?  or—  or  maybe  someone  had  a  super  dramatic  nosebleed?  a  really  explosive  nosebleed?”  she  cut  herself  off,  squeezing  her  eyes  shut  for  half  a  second  before  forcing  them  open  again.  nope.  still  there.

[remyxjameson]

remy had agreed to go up to the attic with isa, mostly because if he was honest he was hoping that there would be some sort of radio system they could use to call for help, instead of risking their own lives to try and find those missing. he sighed as they searched, coming up empty for both clues about those missing and something to help them. "it's never a bad idea to check all the rooms, in case someone managed to lock themselves in." it was clear he was feeling resigned about it all, but he assumed they all were.

"no, not really. i was still awake just after midnight, carter asked if anyone had seen juno. i think we just assumed she'd gone to bed already. i struggled to sleep but i must've managed it, because i woke up to the scream." remy explained, chewing on his lower lip as he looked over isa. "what about you? anything at all that seemed out of place?"

who: isa & remy @remyxjameson

when: january 11th, 9:45am

where: the attic

keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. that was the age-old saying, wasn't it? so how close were you supposed to keep the guy who'd always been odd, lurking in the background of your memories with your friends and reminding you of a ghost? isa'd done her best to look past it back in the day, when remy'd had jamie looking out for him, but now? with the world turning upside down yet again, one couldn't be too careful.

it was with that in mind that she'd dragged him up to the attic. not to stereotype, but...

isa had been working to clear the house, searching room after room for any possible hint as to the current location of the three missing girls. for the most part, she'd done so alone. but attics, like remy, were creepy. what better pairing was there?

"i suppose it would have been too convenient to find them all up here, but one would have been nice," she said only once she'd pried open the last trunk that could conceivably fit a body. no luck. ugh.

though she'd kept him in her peripheral vision the whole time, it was only then that her attention fully settled on her chosen companion. watching for any sign of something suspicious, she attempted to keep her tone neutral as she asked the most pressing question she could think of.

"do you remember anything odd happening last night?"

[remyxjameson]

jaw clenched as the other spat back at him, steeling himself against the words thrown at him just like he did back in college. tensions were high already, there was no point adding an argument to this, he didn't want to make things worse for anyone.

"i don't. . . fuck i don't know, jake." he sighed, running a hand over his face as he tried to think about what their options realistically were. "i went with miki, followed the blood to the bonfire." did he dare to say out loud what he really thought? that they wouldn't come back of their own accord, that if they wanted to find them they had to go and look for them, but at the same time would it be dangerous to do that with the weather conditions. "i just, i don't know. seeing that it makes you think darker thoughts about it all. i don't think that amount of blood loss would be good for anyone."

"well it seems like we're stuck here for a few more days, so harper can wait." jake snapped back. he didn't care if he was being a dick right now. figuring out what to do with harper's ashes was not on his list of priorities. she wasn't going anywhere, but there were three girls who were missing. that was the priority. rolling his eyes as remy spoke back, jake just said, "oh, so you do know how to use that brain of yours?"

letting out a deep sigh, jacob tried to settle down, but the fact of the matter was that he was fucking stressed out. he had tried to keep his shit together earlier when he was speaking to poppy, but he'd be lying if he said her fear wasn't getting to him. and now he couldn't stop thinking about what happened to the girls, which had him thinking about what happened to jamie the last time he was here. putting his head in his hands, he let out a frustrated groan before slamming his hand hard against the cabin exterior wall. "fuck. this is fucked up." looking up at the sky, he didn't bother to hide the concern in his voice as he said, "what if they don't come back. what the fuck do we do?"

[remyxjameson]

he knew they had to wait for the girls, but he had seen the scene at the bonfire, with miki right by his side. he didn't think anyone was walking back to the cabin after that, waiting for them to return by themselves would be useless and yet could looking for them be dangerous. remy didn't know what to do, and he certainly wasn't the one to lead the group to whatever their decision was going to be. he wasn't someone that anyone would follow, that anyone would listen to in an emergency. "did you see the bonfire? did you go? they didn't. . . i mean, they didn't just disappear. there was a struggle, arlo. something happened to them."

are you okay. was anyone? "not particularly, but i don't think anyone is right now." remy was still seeing the blood around the bonfire, turning to miki and seeing her face, her reaction. it would've been one of the things he'd ever seen, had they not seen atrocities here before. "i just, i could do with some form of distraction. do you need anything? can i do anything?"

"which kind of defeats the purpose." he shrugged. arlo felt insanely guilty for getting wrapped up in the entire situation and almost forgetting all about harper. they were here to say goodbye to her but the three missing girls had completely consumed his thoughts. "i'm sure that we'll do something for her. we just - the girls need to be first priority." he shrugged. there wasn't anything they could do for harper. but there was still a chance that they could save three of their friends. arlo was clinging to that hope. he sighed as he followed remys gaze, looking across the blanket of snow. "i don't get how they just disappear." he muttered.

arlo definitely hadn't meant to cause panic to remy. it was the last thing that he had wanted to do. he was just musing aloud. "i don't think this sort of thing is that common here. and most people aren't coming to a lake cabin in the dead of winter." he shrugged. he probably should have thought about that but he wasn't going to be the one to put a spanner in the works. harper had asked for them all to be there so he would be damned if he wasn't. "are you okay, remy?" he asked, looking to the other. it was a difficult day for all of them so he just wanted to check in. it was the best that he could do.

[remyxjameson]

when miki reappeared, he glanced down just to ensure that she had heard him, and though the shoes were very likely not hers they were something at the least. he swallowed thickly, trying to bite back his own nausea and nodded. "yeah that. . . coming with me sounds good." at least then if he did find anything, he'd have a witness, someone to prove he was telling the truth. remy knew he wasn't the most trusted here, not by most anyway, and they had no idea what they would find. "i guess we just follow the trail and uh, pray." it wasn't something he did, not usually but they had no idea how long it had been since the blood trail had been created, and even less of an idea at what they'd find.

he zipped up his coat, taking a deep breath to try and get through the overwhelming anxiety and started walking, careful not to disturb any of the snow that the blood actually touched. remy felt like he should say something, anything, something encouraging but everything he thought of in his mind sounded fucking stupid so he just let the silence continue, the crunch of snow under his feet the only thing breaking the silence. this was. . . well, it was a lot of blood. thoughts already telling him that if they found who it belonged to, it wouldn't be a good outcome regardless. could any of them handle seeing yet another dead body here? after a while he paused, a terrified look on his face as they reached the edges of the bonfire pit. "miki." he spoke, hoping to halt her in her tracks. "miki, it's everywhere."

miki  barely  registered  the  cold,  even  with  her  bare  feet  sinking  into  the  snow.  she  was  still  staring  at  the  blood,  like  if  she  looked  hard  enough,  maybe  it  would  stop  being  real.  remy’s  voice  snapped  her  out  of  it,  and  she  blinked  up  at  him,  expression  dazed.  “oh.  right.  shoes.”  that  was  a  thing.  a  thing  people  wore.  in  the  snow.  “yeah,  okay.”  she  turned  on  autopilot,  stumbling  back  toward  the  door  and  shoving  her  feet  into  the  nearest  pair  of  boots  —  probably  not  even  hers,  but  whatever,  now  wasn’t  the  time  to  be  picky.

she  was  already  moving  back  toward  him  when  he  spoke  again.  shaking  her  head  a  little  too  fast.  “i,  uh  ...  i  don’t  know.  i  just  heard  someone  scream,  and  then  i  came  outside,  and  …”  her  voice  faltered,  her  gaze  flicking  back  to  the  blood.  her  stomach  twisted,  nausea  creeping  up  the  back  of  her  throat.  “i’m  coming  with  you,”  she  said  quickly.  “i  mean  —  someone  should  go  with  you.  and  i  can,  like  …  help.  or  at  least  not  just  stand  here  doing  nothing.”  she  wanted  ...  god,  she  didn’t  even  know  what  she  wanted.  for  it  to  not  be  as  bad  as  it  looked?  for  whoever  was  hurt  to  come  stumbling  out  of  the  woods,  totally  fine,  just  a  little  banged  up?  for  it  to  be  some  sick  prank?  anything  but  what  her  mind  was  telling  her. 

[remyxjameson]

"i didn't mean for us to leave." remy snapped, annoyed that anyone could think he would even suggest that, suggest leaving people behind. "i meant do we wait to scatter her ashes, though the snow seems to have answered that for us. we either wait, or dig it out. i think i know what people will go for." he turned to look at jacob, eyes narrowing. "i know you never really bothered to know me, jacob, but i would never suggest leaving them behind. even if the smart thing would be to try and get help, it's also stupid to attempt to go do that with the weather how it is."

he scoffed a laugh at the mention of getting weed from dakota, eyes moving back to look over the balcony, "she brought like three ounces, so she might be willing to share. guess it depends how long we're stuck here for, considering." it wasn't like any of them were able to leave now, when they had thought they would be. if the snow wasn't enough of a reason to stay, the missing friends definitely were. it would be too dangerous to even consider driving in these conditions anyway, so only way out would be to hike it in remy's opinion, and that was equally as dangerous.

jacob was really struggling. not only was he battling one hell of a hangover, but everyone was moving too fast, jumping to too many conclusions, and to top it all of this was really starting to remind him of when they were last here.

with jamie.

he had felt all kinds of useless this morning, and now that everyone was returning tot he cabin after their respective searching (and who knows what else) he could feel just how quiet and empty it was with three of them missing.

wanting fresh air but not interested in going outside, he headed to the balcony and was surprised to see it was already occupied. fuck. by god damn remy.

what the hell was this kid even doing here anyway? who invited him?

hoping to sneak away before he was noticed, jake stiffened when remy spoke up, clearly aware someone else was around. "do we wait? yeah man, we wait. do you see how much snow is out there? there's no fucking wait we're leaving, and what if one of the girls returns? it'd be fucked if we just left and they came back to an empty cabin." huffing, jake wished he had a cigarette, joint, or vape. "no, nothing. was kinda hoping to find dakota soon and see if i could bum some weed off her."

[remyxjameson]

"it'd be difficult with the snow regardless, unless we cleared it when it stops." remy murmured in reply, though he was sure he wasn't the only one that was terrified about what they may find underneath the white blanket that seemed to encompass lake stillwater and its surroundings. he looked out over the balcony, before looking to arlo, "can't see anything more from up here. it's just... white." with specks of red quickly fading, lost underneath the snow.

he knew that julian had cigarettes, that dakota had weed but on day one remy already had them sharing that with him; he didn't want to ask again, take advantage. remy tried to stop the hammering in his heart as arlo said he didn't know where julian was. he had seen him, knew he wasn't one of the ones missing, or bleeding out with now very little hope of being found. but the message said it was just the beginning, and remy wasn't confident that it was just a scare tactic. "you'd think that in a place where the weather gets this bad, they'd be a radio or something that we could call for help on." he hadn't noticed one the last time he was here, or this time. it likely didn't exist, thought of as not needed.

the more that time ticked on, the more anxious arlo grew. everyone knew that with extreme temperatures, the quicker you found someone, the better. and after Isas scream that morning, he wasn't sure that he wanted to hear what might happen if someone stumbled across the frozen body of one of their friends. because that was what was going to happen, sooner rather than later. arlo was sure of it. they were going to find one of the girls and it wasn't going to be a happy ending to the story. he was trying his best. He was doing everything that he could but he knew that they were in a race against time and, currently, they were losing.

the overwhelming thoughts that continued to swirl in his head was the reason why arlo decided to take himself to the balcony. it was a last ditch attempt - maybe the higher ground would help. maybe i'd see something new. was what he thought but he knew that it was probably just a pipe dream. it was just another way for him to look like he was doing something, instead of just sitting around, twiddling his thumbs. he hadn't realised that remy was there until he had gotten outside. "no. nothing." he shook his head. he wished that he could say differently. but at the mention of harper, of spreading her ashes - the plan - arlo shrugged his shoulders. "i don't know. i'm not sure anyone has even - i dunno." he felt bad for forgetting but in the craziness of the morning, he hadn't been able to stop and think about harper. "i don't. sorry. julian probably does but i - i don't know where he is." arlo shrugged.

[remyxjameson]

it seemed no matter where he was, remy couldn't sleep. he had come inside earlier than most of the others, expecting it to take longer for him to get to sleep but he'd given up on that already. the creep had gotten out of bed and padded to the kitchen to make himself some tea, then sat on one of the sofas in the living room, curled up with a blanket over him. seeing how the snow was coming down, he didn't expect they would be able to fulfill harper's wishes in the morning, instead they'd likely have to wait for some of the snow to clear or at least stop so they could clear it themselves.

he didn't expect to hear a voice, but looked up as the other spoke. brow furrowed as he looked to carter, glancing around the room as though juno would magically appear. "she might have done, i don't think i was the only one to attempt an early night." attempt failed, he may add, but where he was now was better than laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and getting more frustrated as time went on. "with what most people think about me, it's probably best that i don't go check." they already thought him a creep, most of them at least; sneaking into someone's room to see if they were present was definitely asking for trouble.

where: the living room when: 01 / 11 / 2025, 12:14am who: carter & anyone status: 0/3

it didn't matter how well planned an event was something would always happen to fuck it up. but they probably should have expected the weather to ruin the bonfire. minnesota weather was unpredictable but often unpleasant. over the years carter had gotten used to the freezing cold and heavy snowfall. minnesota weather was bitter the same way chicago weather was bitter. it felt like home. at least the snow in saint paul that was quickly clearer away by gritters felt comforting and familiar. the weather had lake stillwater wasn't comforting. it was almost like the weather was telling them to leave.

carter grabbed blankets and food to bring inside as soon the snow started to come down. he was too busy on getting back inside to think about how the group's night had been ruined by the weather. he threw a blanket onto one of the sofas in the living room before scanning the room to see if everyone had made it back inside. "is everyone here? has anybody seen juno? i haven't seen her since this afternoon. do you think she just went to bed early?" he asked no one in particular. he hoped he spoke loud enough to get someone's attention.

[remyxjameson]

who: remy & anyone when: jan 11, 2025 ; 11:43am where: the balcony

jesus fuck, he needed a cigarette, or a joint, or anything to get his mind off of the three missing people and the blood that led to. . . nothing. how could there be nothing? a phone, with a cryptic message, one that they all should probably be taking somewhat more seriously but right now it was clear they were all in shock. remy didn't know what to do, didn't know if they were continuing with harper's plan, didn't know if it was best to somehow hike out of knee deep snow to get the fuck out of here and get help, but he knew they would all feel guilty if they left now whilst some of them were missing. especially after jamie.

he had been cold after going out in the snow and looking for himself, sat by the fire for at least an hour after he got back but now he felt like he needed that fresh air again. remy heard someone approaching him and looked around quickly, climbing heartrate struggling to calm itself when he saw someone familiar, "no news?" he asked, but he knew there wouldn't be. if someone had returned, they would be shouting people to come help, he assumed. "what do you think we do now? i mean, with the reason we came here? do we wait? how do we even try to help those that are just. . ." gone, but he couldn't say it, because that implied more than missing. "do you have any cigarettes? weed? a vape?" he should've brought a vape, that would've been smart. let it be known, remy jameson would never try to quit his vices cold turkey again.

[remyxjameson]

who: remy & @gr0tesques where: in the main room, by the fire when: 11th january, 2025 ; 10:27am

he had gone out following the blood trail, terrified at what he would find at the end of it and yet he hadn't been prepared for a lack of something. remy had thought there would be a person gravely injured, but there was nothing. the blood stopped, the phone retrieved. at least they could guess whose blood it was and yet when he returned back to the cabin he was told there was more than one person missing.

the relief when he saw julian and knew he wasn't among them was almost overwhelming, the guilt that followed equally so. he had wished it to be anyone aside from julian, and his sister, and he felt horrible for that. now though, all he could focus on was getting warm. he sat by the fire, changed out of wet clothes he'd gone out in, blanket around his shoulders but he was still shivering. remy shouldn't have stayed out as long as he did, it had been at least two hours, but he wanted to find answers.

"there was nothing. . . it all just, stopped." maybe the snow had covered the rest of it, but if not, what could cause the blood to just stop? even transporting the bodies, blood would still drip. they can't have disappeared without a trace. "what do you think it meant? the message on that phone? i. . . god, i've got a bad fucking feeling here, julian. like we should all leave even if it means hiking out of here and risking frostbite." he paused to look up at the other, chewing on his lower lip for a few moments. "please sit with me. we need to try and talk this over, gather the facts. you know everyone here better than i do." a beat, "i was worried. i thought maybe you or ellie and i--" he cut himself off, swallowing thickly as he looked down. "you both still mean a lot to me, despite the years."

[remyxjameson]

"asshole doesn't even come close to describing my parents, but yeah, they're assholes." he murmurs in reply, reaching forward again to hand the other the blunt after another quick hit. julian's next words felt like they hit remy like a ton of bricks, mostly because he didn't realise anyone actually cared enough to notice; thought that his mood was just part of the vibe that so few wanted to be part of. remy stared at the other for a minute, before nodding, "yeah, i guess. that and the bullying. it was worse in high school. about as bad as it gets." he tried not to think about it too hard, he didn't want to get emotional about it in front of julian, even if he felt the familiar stinging in his eyes. he did his best to blink it away, keep his breathing even. "do me a favor? just... i don't mind you calling me remulus, but don't tell anyone else? and don't google me using that name? i mean, i get that gives off that i could be hiding something but all i'm hiding is the bullying, the worst parts of it. immortalized for anyone to find. i only started going by remy when i came here."

‎ julian could already imagine what kind of people remy's parents were just from a brief description. “you can say your parents are assholes, remy. they can’t hear you.” he huffs, reaching out and wiggling his fingers for the blunt back. he knows that julian’s case isn’t isolated, that there are plenty of kids who’ve been ostracized by their own parents for not being the kind of children they would’ve wanted to have, if they even wanted any. and he knows he’s lucky, all things considered, that the worst thing that nina roth has ever done was to leave her family behind. “is that why you’re sad all the time?” perhaps a little too candid a question, letting remy know that yeah, he notices, but maybe not enough to do anything about it, going only as far as a simple observation.

[remyxjameson]

the scream woke him, from the precious little hours sleep he had gotten. it had taken him so long to fall asleep, so long to settle. he barely slept well in his own bed, never mind one he wasn't used to in a place he would rather not be. remy had shot out of bed and pulled some clothes on, making his way towards miki when he saw her. peering around her, he saw the stark red in the snow. quickly he threw on his boots and grabbed his jacket. "miki, get some shoes on or get inside. we can't handle this and frostbite too." remy didn't mean to be cold, just matter-of-fact; if there was someone bleeding out somewhere, that would be the focus, not whether or not someone would lose their toes from being stood out in the snow too long. he knew he had a little blacklight in the photography supplies he'd brought, but in the bright daytime it wouldn't be much help - he couldn't dim the sun, and the snow would cover any blood trail by the time it was dark enough.

he stepped outside, careful to step around the blood as he slowly followed the trail. "do you know whose missing?" remy hadn't had time to do a headcount in the moments between waking and now. please don't be julian's blood, please don't be julian's blood. he felt horrible wishing for it to be literally anyone else, but he had long stopped trying to control how his mind worked. "i'm going to follow the trail. whoever's this is. . . they need help."

𝐰𝐡𝐨  :  miki  +  anyone  𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞  :  back  porch 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧  :  janurary  11,  2025  at  7:35  am 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬  :  2/3  [  open  ]

miki  had  never  been  a  deep  sleeper,  but  last  night  had  been  different.  maybe  it  was  the  exhaustion  from  the  trip,  or  maybe  it  was  the  morbid  memories  associated  with  the  all  too  familiar  setting,  but  when  the  scream  ripped  through  the  cabin  that  morning,  she  knew  something  bad  had  happened.  she  wasn’t  sure  who  screamed  first.  maybe  it  was  roberta’s  roommate  when  they  realized  her  bed  was  still  made.  maybe  it  was  someone  else,  seeing  their  front  door  wide  open.  either  way,  the  sound  had  jolted  her  awake,  and  now  she  stood  outside,  breath  puffing  white  in  the  frigid  air,  her  bare  feet  slowly  numbing  against  the  snow  covered  porch.  “um  …  is  that  blood?”  she  whispered  silently.  something  was  wrong.  more  wrong  than  the  usual,  someone  partied  too  hard  and  wandered  off,  kind  of  thing.  she  swallowed  hard.  turning  to  whoever  was  closest,  eyes  wide.  “because  …  that  looks  like  blood  ...”  her  stomach  slowly  churned,  as  realized  what  she  had  said  out  loud.  “oh  my  god  —  blood?  why  would  there  be  blood?  should  we  be  touching  anything?  what  if  this  is,  like  …  a  crime  scene  or  something?  oh  my  god!  i  can't  go  to  jail.”

[remyxjameson]

"that's understandable, and biological studies sounds. . . interesting." he didn't understand what her work would have her undertaking, but remy didn't want to make any more fake conversation than he had to. it was exhausting. "yeah, i'm an author." he always felt a little stupid saying it, as though he hadn't earned the right to say it with a bestselling on-going series to his name. "i suppose the stupid scrawling went somewhere, and people somehow ended up liking it." something that, again, he still had to bring himself to believe.

"right." poppy nodded. she was well aware of the subtle flex that he remembered her without having to ask. but it wasn't like the two of them had ever really been friends. he was the guy who connor would sometimes pick on and remy didn't seem to want to talk to her because of that. was she supposed to remember everyone on that trip? she dropped her gaze, though, as remy looked at her - stared at her, more like. "oh, i moved to san fran. i couldn't - chigao - after jamie..." she shook her head. she still wasn't able to finish that sentence. she still couldn't say that he had died. poppy rarely went back to chicago nowadays. most of the time, if her family wanted to see her they came to her. "i work in a lab there. biological studies." she shrugged. she liked the idea, at least, doing something to help bring along medical advances. "what about you? did - you journaled a lot right, back in the day? did any of that go anywhere?"

[remyxjameson]

"absolutely. do you. . . do you think she'd be okay with me putting her in my next one? or do you think she'd hate it?" he contemplated it even before her death, because he had never done it for jamie, he couldn't bring himself to. and maybe he wouldn't be able to bring himself to put her in it either but, it was a thought in his head that he had to voice. "she wanted me to move somewhere i could be more social, surrounded by what i hated the most; people, forced interactions. i'd been contemplating california, but chickened out." he admitted, though he was definitely considering it now. "oh i--" remy stammered, looking over the other sheepishly, "well i had to do research for my book, you know? needed something recent to base my descriptions from. social media tells you everything, now-a-days. sorry if that's creepy; research often leads down many paths, stranger paths than some social media stalking."

"one of them being who we're here for, right?" arlo questioned. everyone loved harper. it was impossible to not love her. she was one of the sweetest people. arlo hated how he had treated her in the last few months - but he hadn't known it was the last few months. and he figured it was probably about time that they spoke about what it was that they were there for. "i - i mean - yeah. uh -" he shrugged his shoulders, hand reaching to scratch the back of his neck. he couldn't help but feel a little bashful at the compliment. it seemed like too big of a deal. "a change? where you thinking?" he questioned. he understood the need for a change, though. new york had been exactly what arlo had needed. "uh, yeah, nyc." arlo nodded, "how'd you know that?"

[remyxjameson]

he could tell julian wasn't really listening, zoned out in his own world. he tried not to take it personally because he knew it wasn't; it was this place, the reason they were here. . . it was enough to distract even the best of them. remy wasn't stupid enough to think that they would all remember why they were friends in the first place and constantly stay in touch with each other after this, but he'd be lying to himself if he said he hadn't been holding out a little bit of hope that maybe this could be the thing that brought the two together again, closer again.

"you're going to freeze without your jacket. do you want to head back?" remy wasn't ready to, but he wasn't going to let julian freeze here just so he could stay warm because he was dumb enough to not bring a jacket out. he could always come out here later with his own jacket if he wanted to. "you're in a world of your own, hm? understandable. it's. . . a lot, being back here." if julian chose to read his book when they all got home, then that was fine by him; he assumed he would certainly never hear from him again after that, though. "full disclosure? it's not just the one book, but i won't hold it against you if you read one and not the rest of the series." he bumped his shoulder into julian's playfully, smiling up at him.

"yeah i just. . . i was scared of the social aspect of california, i guess. seems dumb now, seems like exposure therapy would've just been what i needed. maybe when we leave here, i'll look into it. always liked the idea of santa monica, palo alto, hell maybe even long beach. harper tried to get me to move once, said it would be good for me. maybe it's time i start actually listening." remy murmured, chewing on his lower lip as he looked back out to the lake.

he should have moved when harper suggested it, been close to her, been able to visit her or she visit him. he should have done it, and got the hell out of minnesota. "i just can't stay here anymore. oregon and minnesota have both officially made it onto my list of states to avoid, and maybe i can put myself out there more, like she wanted. hopefully before i turn thirty." that felt weird to say, because he still felt like that kid back in college, like time had stopped and he hadn't changed. but if time had stopped, harper would still be here.

"what do you think? think i'll survive cali?"

julian nodded solemnly, a silent acknowledgment at remy’s offer, even though he knew he wouldn’t take him up on it. the second he and ellie leave this place, he’ll forget about everyone here the same way that they’ll probably never cross his mind again. harper was gone; the last remaining thread holding their lives together had been snipped off. this weekend wasn’t just a goodbye for harper, but it was goodbye for everybody. goodbye, good riddance, yippee-ki-yay.

still, with what time they had left, julian appreciated seeing remy again and getting to talk to him, even briefly, even if they never speak again for the next few days. hell, he and ellie could leave once they get through the whole ceremony tomorrow, if there was even going to be one. he didn’t know how these things worked. were they meant to just dump harper’s remains into the water or do it gradually, by the fistful, pigeon-feeding style?

no, that was fucked up. that was a fucked up thing to think about his friend, his very good friend, his ex. 

julian took in a deep breath, head tilting slightly up towards the cloudless sky, his leg continuing to bounce restlessly as remy kept rambling. “uh-huh…” he muttered absent-mindedly when remy mentioned something about cigarettes and doordash and… paying him for doordash? he’d learned, in the few years that he’d known remy back in school, to filter out some of the things he said. the guy had this habit of either saying too little or saying too much. which was strange, for the latter, because he was usually so quiet around everybody else. julian was given to understand that this was because remy was comfortable with him in some capacity, however, it has been eight years and julian was a different person then than he was now. their relationship should have been different, comfort levels reverting to their original state—that is to say, politely detached with a reasonable amount of awkwardness. right? 

he glanced at remy again when he mentioned the possibility of being put off by his book, quirking a brow but thinking nothing more of it. he’d forgotten about that conversation he had with noah a few years ago, how he’d brought up the names of the characters, how closely they resembled julian’s and the author’s knowing that they did go to school together. he was curious to know what julian’s relationship with remy was. the implication was so ridiculous; he hadn’t thought about remy in literal years until harper had brought him and his book up. it didn’t occur to him now that that might’ve been what remy was referring to. again, he just didn’t think about those things. 

“you? california?” that had grabbed julian’s attention well enough, earning a small, amused smile from him. there were enough authors and aspiring screenwriters in california, did it really need one more? still, julian was curious: “well, why didn’t you?”

[remyxjameson]

remy leans forward on his knees, shuffling a little closer as he sat back down. closer on a bed this small was often too much, but it was an inch or two; for ease of passing things between one another, he'd argue. a few moments later and he was taking a hit from the blunt himself, leaning against the wall as he watched julian. what a loaded question, and he was so well known for bringing the vibe down; he didn't really want to do that now. "they were just. . . the type of parents that never should have had a kid, never should have been parents. got worse when they figured out my interest in women is literally zero." remy admitted, soon distracted by butterflies slamming into the walls of his stomach at even the slightest accidental touch from the other. "i don't wanna bring the vibe down, so, yeah. that's the short version." he supposed he should be thankful that julian didn't seem the type to google someone; inputting remulus jameson into google still brought up the video and the pictures last he checked. him shirtless, straddling and completely intertwined with the guy he thought liked him. they had been kissing, it had been getting hotter. . . he had been turned on. and then out came the person hidden in the closet with the camera. ironic, considering how deep he'd been in the closet back then. he chuckled at the comments about his mom, "well a handsome guy who can cook? who wouldn't be. eye candy, plus food as a way to the heart. french too, by the sounds of it."

‎ he’s so comfortable in his position that he doesn’t bother lifting himself up to pass the joint and the lighter to remy as an answer to his question, lazily extending his arm and wiggling his fingers. nothing is really kicking in yet, but his chest is starting to feel warm, so he knows it’ll only be a matter of minutes now. “why, where were your parents?” he pins a hand under his head, pressing onto the pillow. he lifts one knee while the other leg stretches across the sheets, his socked foot gently brushing against remy’s knee. not on purpose, but it’s only a twin-sized bed that could hardly fit a growing boy like himself to begin with. “my mom had a personal chef. jean-pierre. handsome fucker, that guy was. pretty sure my mom was in love with him.” it’s a joke, mostly, though he wouldn’t be surprised to find out it had been true. and anyway, throwing his mother under the bus, even for things she'd only allegedly done, when so much of her life had been on public record is an easy way to make people uncomfortable. and he loves to watch people squirm.