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Building Self-Esteem when you’re Struggling with Depression

1. Get into the habit of challenging your thinking – especially when it falls into the same old repeated, negative patterns.

2. Keep a thankfulness journal – and deliberately look for the good things in your life.

3. Spend time with people who can see your strengths, and who make you feel good about yourself.

4. Keep some photos or mementos that remind you of your passions – so these can help inspire you to love your life again.

5. Leave positive notes and quotes around your room, or inside your wallet, or on your desk, or phone.

6. See failure as a stepping stone that leads to further growth – and as something that is common, and experienced by us all.

7. Deliberately nurture and care for yourself – and see this as essential, and a top priority.

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Breaking Free from Co-Dependency

Check through the list below to see if you have traits of codependency. They include:

1. Feeling responsible for other people’s thoughts, feelings, behaviour or physical, mental and emotional well being.

2. Repeatedly putting the needs, wishes and wellbeing of others before your own needs, wishes, and wellbeing. Caring for them takes precedence over caring for yourself.

3. Feeling compelled to be there for others. Feeling most comfortable when you are putting yourself out for others … or are doing everything you can to support them … or are desperately helping them to find solutions. At the same time, you feel guilty about asking for help from other people.

4. Staying in relationships that have little benefit to you, and may even prove to be harmful or abusive. Excusing and tolerating poor treatment for the sake of maintaining peace and harmony.

5. Repeating the pattern of going from one unhealthy or abusive relationship to another. Having low self worth and low self esteem.

To break the self destructive patterns above:

1. Recognize that you have a tendency to be drawn into codependent relationships, and make the decision to change this pattern. This will require acknowledging that these types of relationships are actually unhealthy (which may not be obvious to a codependent person).

2. Understand that breaking these ingrained patterns is very difficult to do alone. Consider working with a counsellor to identify the roots of the problems, to separate out what are healthy patterns of relating from what are unhealthy patterns of relating. Learn how to establish healthy appropriate boundaries. Work on saying “no”, and putting yourself first.

3. Step back and allow others to accept full responsibility for their words, responses, reactions and behaviours. Recognise the facts that it’s not your job to be responsible for anyone other than yourself. Don’t assume the blame when other peoples’ lives go wrong.

4. Keep your focus on yourself and your own needs and problems. Remember that you also have your own life to live

5. Understand that the right thing to do is to take care of your own life and needs first, before looking out for the needs of other people. That’s not being selfish: that is being a healthy, responsible adult.

6. Don’t feel guilty about enjoying yourself, even if others are dealing with huge problems. You have a right to be happy, and to make something of life.

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Lynn’s tattoo placement

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Alex Hoerner’s pictures detail the Mexican gay cowboy scene. Shot at Club Tempo in LA, which specializes in Mexican music, specifically Ranchera and Corridos.

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Valerie Bois for Saint Ivory NYC

source

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gay_irl

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https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd_6E_XHlVu/

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Adeyanju Adeleke https://www.instagram.com/yanjusofine_/  

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I love no longer being motivated by showing off. I don’t care for people to see my glow up or to prove anyone who doubted me wrong. I literally only care about proving myself right and living my own life and getting to where I wanna be for myself. I don’t need validation from strangers.

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me: *breaks down crying in the privacy of my own home*

my brain: you’re faking your emotions for attention. you’re just doing this because you think it makes for a cool personal narrative

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