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First ape to go to the watering hole with a container and put some of the water in it so that they could drink more later without returning to the watering hole must have been lauded as a fucking genius.

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Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this

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The masculine connotation of a bow tie and the feminine connotation of a bow on the top of the head implies a nonbinary bow style placed directly over the nose

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for a minute i definitely forgot that kanye west had changed his name to ye and was wondering why this accusatory headline was written in shakespearean language

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So my mom is babysitting an infant but I didn't know so I cannot explain the feeling of walking into my living room and seeing a lone baby ive never seen before sitting on the floor and the dead eye contact we shared for a full minute before my mom came back into the room

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there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

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🎶 workin' 9 to 5 🎶

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Janet Elizabeth Aulisio

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One of those days.

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i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

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“2 is the only even prime” well 17 is the only prime that’s divisible by 17 so 2 being divisible by 2 is not that big of a deal

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From a project I was working on before going in another direction, but still wanted to post this. Inspired by this photo of mourning doves nesting in the fossil of a triceratops, and how it tells us that the world can end, just not forever.

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mike’s hard bubble tea

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I really do think life is a series of watching other people walk through doors you can't follow them through. I've been thinking about it lately when it comes to marriage---my sister got married recently, and my brother before her, and while the occasions were joyful and I was happy for both of them, it was also like standing in mission control. Or maybe not even that, maybe the 'friends & family' section of the tarmac, several miles from the launch pad entirely. Waving as this intrepid astronaut (the one you would have sworn you knew as well as you know yourself, because you share so much and it lingers in your skin) climbed into a shuttle, jetted off into the darkness.

And then, the person who came back was....different. Not bad different! (Sometimes they come back better, this is also decidedly strange.) Just....different. They have gone somewhere you can't follow, seen and experienced things you will never be privy to. They will go back to that dark, unknown and unknowable country again, once the holiday or other familial obligation is over. And so you spend some time talking to them, nodding and smiling on autopilot while you quietly wonder, did they do that before, and I just didn't notice? Is that new? I don't remember that. I can't remember if---

It's a very strange experience, to be confronted with the fact that people exist outside of you, even those who share 99.99% of your DNA.

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Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that