renikki-blog - Tumblr blog

renikki-blog · 13 years ago

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so hey real talk it might be best if i just write all of this down

but hey like i'll tag all of my friends so they read this 'cause this is gonna be some serious business

i'll go in order of who i've talked to in the past year and how long i've known them

troy: i'm really glad you've found yourself in the whole mess of things, and it was incredibly insightful to help you through finding yourself. it was even good for me to go through things about what i'm doing and who i am. i really love when we get all nostalgic and talk for hours about our memories because you're a great part of my life, hell i'm only 18, and you've been in my life for 5 years of it. damn, we bitches for life i want you to know that you never bother me when you're upset about your problems because you've earned enough of my trust over the years to guarantee that i'll be here to listen and put some sass back into your ass. so like you're free to tell me all your boy problems too because those are great and you know me, i live through the happiness of others. in the 5 years of our friendship i've never once regretted it, because you really are a great friend and i'm really glad when i get to say you're totally the gay brother i wish i always had

jas: damn girl sometimes you scare me if you're mad at me or not, i'm just like what can i do to make you feel better cause like you're the black half of me i've always been searching for. i hope through all the time that we aren't able to talk to eachother that you're thinking "my asian half is probably asleep like a dumb rock", most likely because i am and that's how i roll. i want you to know that it really bothers me when you say that you're never going to be in a relationship because everyone likes your friends better than you. remember that i talked to you first before i talked to emma and nick, so on the scale of par, if some dude likes me and you like him, i'll shove him to the curb and tell him he's a stupid cunt for you. i really love when you get starstruck by the idea of having kids and a cuddly scruffy boyfriend because that means to me you haven't given up, there's just a lot of assholes with women problems that can't see how fucking great you are, no matter how shit you say, 'cause gurl that shit you say is great. when i manage to have the money to go see you in toronto we're gonna go out and party like we're gonna fucking die the next day because y'know what you're worth it. and i'll always draw you sexier than you think you are because that's how i see you okay booboochoochoo.

emma: emma i always tell my mom you're the exact opposite of me, which is true at times, but we really think the same sometimes. although when it comes to conflict i'd rather put it in someone's face to let them know i mean business because i'm not someone to be fucked around with. i say that i can't see you mad because you're too cute and adorable to get mad. it's like a teddybear with an angry face, it's really funny to see but it seems wrong. for someone who has nothing better to do with their life, i try my hardest to make sure you guys are happy because like what kind of fucking friend am i if i don't try? i know i don't come to you guys with my problems because i'm a stubborn asshat and since i know we're sometimes alike, i'm afraid that if i told you my problems, you'd feel like you have the same pain i'm enduring. i don't want you to feel that way about my petty feelings because i love you so much. also emma is a great name, maybe you're like how i was when i was like 7, i hated my name and wanted a different one. hopefully you can come and visit soon so we can have a forever sleepover and like crawl on the floor to the patio and watch the stars because you love that shit.

nick: there usually isn't a day i wish i was in your shoes whenever your sister went bat crazy because if i were you i wouldn't be as forgiving as you really are. you said that you shouldn'tve said you wished your sister was dead but i would've probably did worse, considering the circumstances. i hope you know those threats about me telling bodhi that you liked him in the beginning weren't a ruse, because i was literally going to go to his blog, link you, and tell him how amazing of a person you are and how fucking lucky he is to have you like him. when you were freaking out about your relationship, it reminded me of when i was stupid and paranoid about everything. i don't exactly know how i came to be this way y'know, whenever you ask me about it i feel a loss of words because my mom really believes that i'm my great grandmother's soul and i'm just like why the hell would that matter though. but yeah that shit worries me. because it's a secret, i kind of halfassedly believe in reincarnation. i went off topic, i always get sidetracked when i do this shit, but like i'm glad you exist okay i don't fucking care what other people say you're a great part of my life and like when i get married you can jokingly be a drag queen and i'll be in a tuxedo, we're gonna fukken do it.

i think that's all i have to say as of now, so yeah, if you guys were ever concerned about how i felt about you, here it is

#exolace #xoxoswapplesbitch #YOU BETTER FUCKING READ THIS ALL OF YOU I'LL BE SO MAD

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renikki-blog · 14 years ago

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how am I supposed to tell someone how I feel about something when I know it'll hurt their feelings and our friendship could be in the balance of it

its really irritating rightn ow and I'm just like

ugh

before when the first thing was brought up

I was like yeah sure I'm alright with it

was I really alright with it

was I really alright with getting to know someone so deeply and believing this lie

like yeah sure I've done that before

but I didn't make the lie so unrealistic to the future that no one would believe me

like yeah sure most people won't believe me when I say that my past lie is incredibly close to my life right now

with the exception of a few things

its really irritating me

do I want to claim myself as a hypocrite and say I don't want to know who this person is

do I even know

who you are

what part of you was the lie

what part of you is the real you

who are you

I don't even know who you are

I don't know what's happening

I don't know how to deal with this either

its a horrible revelation and I feel as if I'm a hypocrite if I said this to her

#renikki

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