reninclouds

[reninclouds]

[reninclouds]

Casi hago una estupidez una grande que quizas uniese terminado muy mal estuve a punto en acto y tu mensaje lo cambio, creo que no deberias de tener ese poder

[reninclouds]

Y sip, somos dos

[reninclouds]

Las nubes será bipolar?

[reninclouds]

[reninclouds]

Por que me siento asi?

Como si tomaran mi corazon y decidieran suspenderlo, disminuirlo reducirlo tanto que queda un vacio, duele, fisicamente y corren lágrimas y respiracion es irregular y todo es terriblemente malo.

Y para ser objetiva nada va mal solo necesita tiempo dos dias, solo 48 horas, no es nada, no te deja de querer ni nada solo quiere tener tiempo para si. Encontrarse con ella misma con su paz para volver a alinearse eso es algo de ella y tu debes aprender a que somos dos individuos distintos. Y que no deja de existir una coneccion especial por no necesitarte en todo debes aprender de eso. Ella te ama y se ama a ella misma y respeta sus tiempos tu deberias de aprender de eso dejar de poner al otro delante verte y respetarte y fortalecerte amarte sin la necesidad de aferrrarte locamente al otro enraizate en ti .

Estas sufriendo por nada encerio solo respira mira las cosas con calma esto es bueno aprende de ello no te asustes no caigas en ese agujero miralo y sigue adelante

[reninclouds]

Inconformidad desde mi alma, un trozo que falta que me sacaron que busca y necesita algo que esta ansioso pero desconse el porque

[reninclouds]

[reninclouds]

[reninclouds]

[reninclouds]

Peso de piedra inmoviliza el cuerpo, querer arrancar la carganta para que la presion se libere, lagrimas caen intermitentemente, duele, angustia, desespera. Grito desesperado que se extingue si emitir sonido, quedando enclaustrado. Cuerpo de que es jaula diminuta, aprisiona el ser, lo enmarca apretadamente, lo exprime.

Por cuanto tiempo mas va a durar esto?

[reninclouds]

Corria,me escondia, me seguian, algo o alguien, desesperada, ahogada, aterrorizada. Miraba hacia atras, pero nadie, nada, aunque yo lo sentia estaba ahi venia por mi, mmr hagache me escondi, escuchaba el sonido de ojas al pisar, lagrimas cain de miedo y desesperacion, me entro.

Desperte

Mi mente, mi propia mente era el esechador, cazador que me rodeo, me acorralo y como conejo temblando desperte. Miedo y panico, querer arrancar pero como? Como sacarme de mi misma?

[reninclouds]

DEAMON

Una historia de amor en la que por una vez, el ángel es el, y el demonio esta en ella.

que ella se empeña en caer, y las alas de el se cansan de cargar ambos pesos.

era el vértigo de la caída una tentación tan horrible,

abrasaba mi conciencia y mi lógica.

huir, caer, volar, saltar al vacío y entregarme a ciegas a la incógnita.

te acuerdas cuando te conocí y dije; voy a hacerte mucho daño?

y respondiste: Nos haremos daño mutuamente. Mucho. De eso trata el amar.

Por exceso de amor Lucifer fue condenado.

pero daimon es neutral. Y yo nací sin balanza.

Cuando te dije que huiría de ti al amanecer gris de un día sin nombre

Aferraste fuerte mi mano para que no pudiera soltarme.

Desaparecí del nido mientras dormías, y tus alas rodearon la nada.

y la nada me rodeó a mi.

Se puede temer al amor?

El terror que siento hacia ti me precipita con ansias, sin destino ni puerto.

o justamente huyendo de ellos.

Nublando mis recuerdos de nuestro edén con el soma de los alfas.

durmiendo en mi inconsciente a mi consciencia a base de adrenalina.

Recuerdas lanzarte en picado? Querer salvarme y perder tus alas por el camino?

Recuerdo encontrarte a mis pies. Tu luz apagándose y aun así suplicando.

Recuerdo mirarte con recelo mientras tu, desintegrándote, persistías en salvarme.

Recuerdo resistirme a tu abrazo tembloroso que todo lo daba y nada reprochaba.

Recuerdo caer de rodillas sin fuerzas. Que mi inconsciente consciencia abrasara mi cuerpo con culpa y reproche,

mis labios recorriendo tus heridas y tus músculos cansados, mis lagrimas derramándose por cada recoveco del cuerpo

que yo misma había masacrado.

Recuerdas mis alas?

recuerdas como siempre me sermoneabas por no dejarlas crecer?

recuerdas como te rodearon, nos rodearon en medio de aquella espesa oscuridad?

A veces parece que jamás vas a despertar de una delirante pesadilla,

otras veces pareces disfrutar durmiendo acurrucado entre mis brazos, amor.

Me esfuerzo en volar de vuelta al nido, cargando tus huesos y mi consciencia.

esforzándome con cada aleteo por zafarme de los tentáculos de la nada.

Sería tan fácil dejarse caer... pero tu me diste la fuerza. eres mi fuerza.

A veces consigo atisbar nuestro nido en la lejanía.

Parece huir de mi con sorna en su brillo.

Sigo aleteando.

---------

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfLwA_hvEGM

[reninclouds]

Top 10 Best Lesbian/WLW Films of All Time

1. Fucking Amal, 1998

2. Carol, 2015

3. Booksmart, 2019

4. Portrait of a lady on fire, 2019

5. Imagine me and you, 2005 and Saving Face, 2004

6. The Prom, 2020

7. Vita & Virginia, 2018

8. The Half of It, 2020

9. The Handmaiden, 2016 and The miseducation of Cameron Post, 2018

10. Ammonite, 2020 and The Summer of Sangaile, 2015

[reninclouds]

I’m posting some EXTREMELY limited numbers of these linocut prints on my Etsy  

I’m also keeping a Red on Plywood version to hang in my home #selflovematters The first round sold out, but I’ll print some more this week!  Taking votes on new colours.  BLUE / GREEN / PURPLE?

[reninclouds]

Two Girls (Lovers), 19011, Egon Schiele

[reninclouds]

Pride special! Historical figures who were LGTB (edited with pride flags)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - A famous Irish poet and playwright best known from his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray. Homoerotic subtext was featured in some of his works. He was very flamboyant and had multiple affairs with other men. One of these affairs was with his friend and lover Lord Alfred Douglas while being married with two sons. This relationship ultimately lead Wilde to be arrested and put in trial for sodomy which he was found guilty. In 1895 he was sentenced in two years of hard labour. After his release from prison, he moved to France and lived in mid-1897 with Ronald Ross. Later that year he met with Douglass and they lived in Naples but separated because of the financial pressure from their families (who didn’t accept their meeting) and personal reasons.

Alan Turin (1912-1954) - British logician, computer scientist, and mathematician. His most influential work is Turing Machine which can be seen as a model of a modern computer. In 1952 he was charged with gross indecency after admitting his sexual relationship with Arnold Murray. Homosexual acts were illegal during that time in the United Kindom. He was given a choice to either go to prison or parole including his agreement to undergo hormonal physical changes designed to reduce libido. He chose the later and the treatment caused impotent and gynecomastia.

Pjotr Tšaikovski (1840-1893) - Classic Russian composer. He composed many masterpieces such as Swanlake and The Nutcracker. He suffered from bad mental health and was reclusive and shy. It is under debate that Tšaikovski might have had a hard time accepting his own sexuality. Sergey Kireyev was his first, and according to his brother’s diary his “strongest, longest and purest love”.

Frida Kahlo (1907-1953) - Mexican painter who is known from her colourful, yet dark-themes paintings. Based on her own experience, women’s harsh life and pain are expressed in her art, making her almost a feminist cult person in the 90s. She was openly bisexual and was friends with Pablo Picasso.

Joséphine Baker (1903-1975) - American-French dancer, singer and stage artist. She was openly bisexual and very famous in her time for her revealing costumes, dance performances and exotic beauty. She was also an activist against racism and worked as an honourable correspondent for France during World War II, gathering information about German troop locations. Baker was openly bisexual.

Anne Lister (1791-1840) - Considered to be the first modern lesbian for her openly gay lifestyle, Lister was an English landowner and diarist, who wrote about her life in detail, including her lesbian relationships containing intimate details about them (these parts written in code) to her diaries that are over 4 million words long. She took care of business and travelled a lot during her life. Lister was in a relationship with Ann Walker and in 1834 they took communion together in Holy Trinity Church and thereafter considered themselves married. A Historical drama series Gentleman Jack was released this year and it tells her story based on her diaries.

Chevalier d’Éon (1728-1810) - A French diplomat and spy who was also a soldier in the Seven Years’ War. While working in London as a spy, d’Èon was rumoured to be a woman despite wearing dragoon’s uniform and serving the king as a man. People started betting on d'Éon true sex. D'Éon declined the invitation to be examined for it would have been dishonouring whatever the result. Later on, d'Éon was in political exile in London (after a series of events), unable to return to France but after the death of Louis XV d'Éon tried to negotiate on his return to France. D'Éon was allowed to return but with the condition that he would turn over the correspondence regarding the secret du roi (King Louis XV’s secret channel of diplomats d'Éon worked in) D'Éon returned but claimed to be born as a woman and raised as a boy. D'Éon demanded to be recognized as a woman by the government. The government accepted this but demanded d'Éon to wear appropriately female clothing. D'Éon agreed and returned to France and lived as a woman until death. D'Éon’s dead body was examined and confirmed to have had male organs yet having feminine characteristics. This might be evidence to d'Éon being intersex.

Dr. Alan L. Hart (1890-1962) - An American physician, tuberculosis researcher, radiologist, writer and novelist who was one of the first trans men to undergo hysterectomy and gonadectomy in the USA (1917-18). He pioneered x-ray photography which was used to detect tuberculosis. Dr Hart also wrote short stories and four novels during his career. Gay men and gender dysphoria are portrayed in his writing.

Roberta Cowell (1918-2011) - A British racing driver and a fighter pilot in World War II. Cowell was the first known trans woman to undergo sex reassignment surgery. In 1940 she was commissioned in Royal army service corps. While serving as a pilot officer in Germany Cowell attacked enemy targets on the ground but crash-landed and was captured by German troops. Her too escape attempts failed and she was eventually taken to Stalag Luft I where she remained as a prisoner for five months until the camp was abandoned because of the pressure from Red Army. After the war, Cowell began her transition and became friends with Michael Dillon.

Queen Christina (1626-1698) - Queen of Sweden from 1632 to 1654. One of the most educated women in the 17th century, who was interested in books, painting, sculptures and manuscripts. She even called great philosopher Rene Descartes to teach her. Christina never married which was considered scandalous. She also felt strong loath towards actives that were considered feminine during her life time and preferred hunting, fencing and riding instead. Her sexuality is under debate, but some historians consider her to have been lesbian.

(fun fact, I’ve seen this portrait life recently)

BONUS: Leonardo Da Vinci in pride colours

These are only few amazing people I have mentioned and there is plenty of many others so don’t be afraid to add people who are not mentioned or correct me if I have errors