renmantsofashootingstar

[renmantsofashootingstar]

It's been a few months or weeks maybe since I dropped here?

I'm surprised I'm alive today, on my birthday.

I though I would have died by this time already since last year.

I never visualized another birthday. And yet... I am here. Still.

I don't feel the urge to want harm myself, I have been working on preventing suicide.

But... I don't recognise myself. I feel like I lost what made me... Me. I lost it all during the last 2 years. I don't feel like myself.

I lost all witty replies, I feel dumber, I feel like a burden to everyone every time I speak. So I try not to, but hen I try again... That's where everything goea back at the beggining.

I feel like a burden at home when I feel the world on my shoulders. When I don't do things to help out, when I express that I don't want to do something.

If I talk, 'friends' don't reply.

Nobody listens.

Nobody asks.

Since they started not listening or asking, I stopped talking about some things.

When theu interrupt but don't ask for the continuation, I go silent.

I'm tired of trying to be listened.

Even if I want to be seen... I don't I will ever get it.

I'm tired. Yet I'm alive.

I wonder. Do I really want to continue? Why do I even try? I don't know why I am trying to overcome depression or stop my suicide self.

I have always waiting for something or someone to give me a spark.

And it or they never arrived.

What did I do wrong?

Why I can't have someone or something?

Is what I ask for unnatainable for me? Or did I watch and read too many fiction?

Why it can never be me?

Why is always the rest first and I'm the last one?

Nobody ever has picked me first, I have never been the first person to pop up on people's mind.

I wonder.

What's the meaning of my life?

Have I ever made something to make someone smile? Have I changed somebody's future? Did I make somebody's day better?

...

Have I ever done... Something?

[renmantsofashootingstar]

I want to dissapear already.

[renmantsofashootingstar]

I should have feigned being worse and to have them give me antidepressants.

I hate it. I hate myself. I hate how I overreact and can't even think.

I wanna die again.

[renmantsofashootingstar]

I came back from the psychologic thinking I was doing good, now I'm worse than this morning.

I want to kill myself again.

I don't feel good. Why was I so happy a few hours ago? What was rhe reason? I can't feel it...

[renmantsofashootingstar]

I love their dynamic

[renmantsofashootingstar]

Depression has been hitting hard lately

I don't want to feel anything anymore

I feel like nobody cares anymore, they thi k that if they ignore me everything will be fine

I don't feel like I have friends anymore. They ignore me heavily.

I need to search for a new circle and yet, I don't feel like getting to know new people.

I'm tired, of everything.

Everyday hurts. I just want to stay in my bed forever and never go outside.

[renmantsofashootingstar]

Rutger is the type that bullies his crush, and them Isla don't back out and just continue arging.

They are perfect for each other ;_;

[renmantsofashootingstar]

Rutger and Isla should kiss each other and then marry.

[renmantsofashootingstar]

I'm well aware this is NOT the way re zero is going to go, but I always had the crack headcanon that the reason Reinhard's pov is a secret is because Od Laguna's DPs actually made him SO self aware he even knows he is a character from a Japanese light novel

[renmantsofashootingstar]

I just found an unfinished oneshot fic of Atelier Online-

...should I end it...

[renmantsofashootingstar]

Dating the student council in Lugunica academy Imagines:

.❀。• *₊°。 ���°。 ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. .❀。• *₊°。

- They leave you for Natsuki Subaru

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. .❀。• *₊°。

[renmantsofashootingstar]

Plushie GIVEAWAY 🤲✨️

I'm giving away 8 plushies to 8 winners 🏆

✨ Giveaway Rules ✨

1️⃣ Follow @Nagarnia_art

2️⃣ Like & Reblog this post

3️⃣ Comment which Chunker(s) you want to win! (You can list multiple!)

Ends on April 10th🌸

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Here are the plushies 👇

[renmantsofashootingstar]

The April's fool for Re:Zero is driving me mad

I want that otome game ;_;

Should I go back writing fanfics with my poor skills...?

[renmantsofashootingstar]

It's a child

[renmantsofashootingstar]

[renmantsofashootingstar]

That was me until we got more of his background and Heinkel's story.

Yeah.

(Now I love him)

Yeah this is how Pride IF went, right?

[renmantsofashootingstar]

💚