renzelhpolinga

[renzelhpolinga]

2019 ✨

Ola! 2019 is almost over 🙌🏻 I never thought na kakayanin ko, grabe! I can’t express how thankful I am that I have the strongest support system, from my family to my friends.

Growing up, I am this ride-or-die kind of friend, I will do anything for friendship, really. Thus, along the way, I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, people who meant the world to me. I’ve been betrayed by the people I thought kept it hundred percent with me. I gave my all, I gave myself to all people who can’t even do a single shit for me. It hurts but I have to be strong for myself, for my peace of mind, for my own sanity ✨

I almost lost myself trying to please everyone else but then I realized that losing everyone else who is not good for your inner peace is better than hurting yourself every single day.

Today, I choose myself, even when others refuse to. Self love is choosing yourself and choosing yourself is sanity. Hence, there is no greater thing in this world aside from yourself and family. Look closely at the present you are constructing, never look back, you’re not going that way 💕

[renzelhpolinga]

After Tifa’s class, I was changing her clothes:

Me: Tifa, can we talk? I want to say something.

Tifa: Yes, mommy?

Me: I think I wasn’t a good mommy for the past days, I’m sorry for being impatient and angry, mommy’s really sorry, baby (I was very short tempered since Monday bc Tifa was having a huge adjustment since she used to attend an afternoon class last school year)

Tifa: It’s okay, mommy. I understand and I will always love you naman whatever happens.

Me: Thank you, anak. My heart is very sad bc you are sad. I’m sorry.

It really takes so much effort to communicate well but Janrei and I tries really hard to decide and communicate with less emotion and comprehend using our hearts and mind at the same time, hay, tough love.

[renzelhpolinga]

Avemayr Tiffany Haldos Polinga

“Behold, children are a gift from the Lord. The fruit of the Lord is a reward” -Psalm 127:3

Hi, everyone! Meet Avemayr Tiffany Haldos Polinga 👶🏻 January 18, 2014 📅 8:24 PM 🕗 Sacred Heart, Malolos City, Bulacan - CS Delivery 🏥✨

January 18, 2014, when we decided to undergo CS delivery since it was my first time to deliver a baby. I am a week overdue and still, there were no signs of labour or even contractions. 3:00 PM when we loaded our things for a 3 day or a week of confinement, hours and hours of waiting, and we were already made our way to the operating room.

I remember my mom was crying really hard because she was really nervous for me and for our baby girl but I have to be strong, I have to brave for us to see our little one. My partner back then was so nervous, he’s not even talking 😂 He never let go of my hand not until it’s time to say goodbye because he’s not allowed to be with me during the operation (fear of blood probs) ✌🏻

I was never scared of operations, not until it’s time for my general anesthesia, I was literally shaking! 😭😂 I was so scared, but I prayed really really hard, I prayed that may the Lord protect me and my baby girl in everything, I prayed for His all through out guidance, and He never failed us! ❤️

8:24 PM when I felt that my baby girl was already out, I heard her first ever cry 😭❤️ My heart was crying out of happiness and excitement, my heart was so full! 💕

I wasn’t able to sleep in the recovery room, I was excited to see my baby girl, I wanted to hold her already, to hug and smooch her, to know if she’s perfectly fine, and she was! 🥰

“Sobrang ganda mo, anak” those were my first words upon seeing her! All the tears, all the pain, all the hardwork, mood swings, and pregnancy hormones were worth it! It was! And I am so thankful that the Lord guided us all through out my pregnancy and delivery. I am the happiest, we were the happiest!

I love you, our Avemayr Tiffany, always & forever ✨