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We looked inside some of the posts by rerub-blog1 and here's what we found interesting.
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Chloe called me last night and told me Anthony has been abusing her.
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Kristen & noora both follow me but don't like anything I post? It started when I tried reaching out to them and telling them I miss them. And I know Im not just making it up in my head, they're both v active here and Instagram and I just don't understand what their fucking problem is but it's driving me crazy and my OCD has intensified so much in the past few weeks
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I know I'm overworking myself but there's nothing I can do. I'm stuck in the transition period.
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You're so fuckin dumb. Remember when the roles were reversed? I was completely blocked out. You're so fucking lucky I'm allowing this to happen.
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I got stuck on repeat and all of my thoughts just kept circling back around. I got lost in between realities and couldn't determine which one was real. I completely lost myself in it all and couldn't even remember who I was. It was so terrible that I just wanted it to end and got very suicidal.
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Had probably my most terrifying trip. Went through an awful ego death experience and wanted to die.
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Oh 1 last thing before I forget I messaged 2 old "friends" saying I miss them and apologized we didn't rly stay in touch and they both ignored me and I wonder if everyone just fucking hates me guts so that feels gr8 :'-)
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It's 330am and I gotta be up at 7am so night thx for the vent sesh oh yeah no prob
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Honestly it's such a miracle that I scored the manager position of a ceramics studio. I still l don't know how the fuck I pulled that one off lmfao. But its fucking great and I'm so grateful I landed in a position where I have the opportunity to just do what I really really love. I was fucking going to school for psychology 2 years ago because I didn't know what else to fucking do. Everyone always told me "you can't make money being an artist, go to school for something you can get an 'actual' job in" and now im going to fucking prove them all wrong.
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That lost post makes me nauseous tbh. It鈥檚 disgusting that I just want to sell and get money and build a following. It鈥檚 not really like that though. I just don鈥檛 want to fucking work for anyone. Even my boss who鈥檚 pretty cool is ultimately just another shitty white dude. I want to create my own brand, be my own boss, and create a product line I鈥檓 proud of & happy selling. I want to show everyone how strong I am, and how anyone can fucking do anything if they put in the effort. I鈥檝e been at the fucking studio till 3am every day this past week, and it honestly feels good to push myself and fuckin put in WERK. I will gladly spend all day and night throwing for work, I fucking love what I do and love every second my hands are in some clay.
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Also my business is rly picking up. Got paid $600 for 2 huge orders in the past week, have been keeping up w social media and gaining followers, got some super cute business cards, and I'm just feeling really good overall about where I'm at. I hope I can keep growing and eventually just make a living off selling my work.
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