resoundingdespair

[resoundingdespair]

Fffffuuuu-- welp been gone all this time seems like everyone nearly all left...

Will probably be deleting this blog soon. 

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

Cat is Out of the Bag

@taichitheaudacious continue from here (x)

Takeru bit his lower lip. Why hadn’t he told Taichi that he quit college and went into modeling? Why did he keep his lover in the dark like this for so long? It wasn’t even him telling Taichi. Taichi had found out from magazines. This was how it all started. It wasn’t like Takeru was trying to keep anything from him. Maybe he was just embarrassed at it or maybe it was because he thought Taichi wouldn’t approve. 

He lifted up his hand and pushed his glasses up on his face more as they had started sliding down. Taichi had a right to be mad at him. He would have been mad at Taichi if he was keeping secrets. 

“I just...” He paused for a moment. “I was going to tell you... I just didn’t know how. I thought that you wouldn’t want me working and that... I don’t know you wouldn’t approve of the choice of modeling? I really don’t know why i didn’t tell you at first. I guess I was nervous about how you would react.” He let out a soft sigh. “You have a right to be mad at me. I shouldn’t have kept it from you so long and pretended I was still in school. But sometimes it feels like you don’t want me to be independent and just rely on you... And I don’t want to keep doing that Tai. I didn’t want you to maybe tell me to quit or to not go for the job opportunity.”

He sat down on the couch before he went on. “I didn’t want you to maybe tell me that you make more than enough to support us both. I feel useless when i just sit around here and even when I was going to college I began not really knowing what I wanted to get my degree in and then I just felt more crappy. You don’t want me to fall back into my depression so I’ve been trying to do things that make me feel better. I understand these are no excuses on why I didn’t tell you. But let’s be honest Tai... You can sometimes be...well controlling.” Tkaeru looked down for a moment. “Besides I didn’t really tell anyone about it. If I wasn’t going to tell you, I wasn’t going to tell anyone else They just found out because of the magazines too. I’m sorry. I’ll start telling you things like this. i didn’t mean to make you feel the way you do. I was just unsure how to tell you.”

[resoundingdespair]

😷

Send “😷” for my muse to faint in public and your muse to come to their rescue.

Taichi and him were suppose to meet each other for lunch today. It rarely happened for Taichi to even offer to go out with Takeru on his lunch break so of course Takeru took up the chance to go have lunch with him. He was almost to the place they were going to meet up when he heard someone screaming and yelling coming afterwards. He stopped  right before he was about to head into the place to turn and see what was going on. 

Once he caught sight of what he had heard his face went completely pale and for a moment he had stopped breathing. Other people among the sidewalk and those who were driving had all came to a stop as well, others even screaming and someone yelling to call 911. They were all staring at the same thing. 

A man was on top of a woman, yelling things at her that didn’t make much sense to Takeru’s ears and stabbing her with the blade he was holding tightly in his grip. Now knowing Takeru’s past blood didn’t really bother him but the way the guy put the knife into her body and twisted it and took it out again to stab her again made him feel more and more sick. 

Flashes of the night he found out about Taich’s little secret and how he brutally murdered someone also played into his head that just made his stomach turn. He felt light headed– dizzy. He couldn’t focus on what was happening anymore. It was like his eyes were glued to the wounds the woman was receiving while his memory was also glued on the horrifying memory of Taichi pulling out someone’s gut. 

His vision was starting to get darker and darker. The voices and noise around him slowly started to phase out. His body started to slightly sway. He could barely hear sirens that were coming out in the far distance. His body started to fall and before he collapsed and blacked out all the way he could have sworn he heard Taichi’s voice. 

When he fell his glasses were knocked off but everyone else around him did not seem to notice, too intent on either getting out of there in panic or just staring in utter shock. Well everyone besides his boyfriend who had either gotten there and saw him before he was getting started to pass out or had gotten there just in time to watch him fall to the ground like a broken branch from a tree. 

[resoundingdespair]

Send "😷" for my muse to faint in public and your muse to come to their rescue. Alternatively send "😲" for my muse to help your muse when they faint.

[resoundingdespair]

Perhaps It’s Better To Give In

He should have gone home by now. He should have called his boyfriend and told him that he was alright. He had been gone for almost two days now. Yesterday he had left for work to model some more like he usually did but when he left there for some reason he didn’t go home. He had stayed out even slept in a cheap motel room that he was debating if he should bother to go back to for another night seeing as it was getting late once again. 

His phone had been turned off since he had gone to work. He knew he should turn it on. He knew that he shouldn’t even be out in this rain. He knew that he should have been home a day ago. He knew he was probably worrying his boyfriend at the moment it was like he didn’t really care. 

He felt numb.

Maybe it was his depression kicking in again. Maybe it was the fact that he really couldn’t pretend that his crest wasn’t there. There was no other reason for him standing out here and not talking to anyone. Not even calling Taichi. He and him didn’t get into any fights. There was no other problem on why he didn’t go home after work. He just felt empty and sad. An unmotivated feeling washing over him where he didn’t even want to take a step because it seemed like it was too much effort. 

Letting a soft sigh escape his lips the feeling of the rain drops were starting to soak his jacket. His glasses already full of water droplets. The roads were beginning to be empty. It was rather strange to watch such a busy road in the day time be so abandoned late at night. 

He moved his right hand to grip his left wrist, holding the sleeve against his skin. Knowing the scars lay underneath. It had been a long time it felt like since he actually used a blade against himself. The last time he remembered using one was the time he got put in the hospital. After that it was like Taichi and him tried to get him out of the habit, out of the need to inflect harm upon himself. 

And it had worked for a while. 

Especially since Takeru knew about what Taichi had been hiding. He was so focused on either being almost like a house wife and also having the thoughts about Taichi’s ‘problems’ always on his mind. Well and his newly job. But yesterday it just had hit him so suddenly. He wasn’t sure what caused him to feel like this when he got off work. He wasn’t sure if it was what he had been reading, posing for, hearing other people chat or anything. Maybe nothing triggered it and maybe it just came all on its own. 

He felt like he was being pulled back into the dark hole he had been in for so long. He felt like his inner demons were dragging him back down and holding him hostage once again. And even if he could scream he knew he wouldn’t be heard. 

He should just let them in again. Let these feelings consume him entirely. 

Hearing one last car drive by had got him out of his slight daze. As he stepped back from the road as to move to not get splashed. His hand had let go of his writs and he slowly took out his phone. He turned it on but put it back into his pocket. If he did have unread text messages or missed calls he was just going to ignore them. 

He leaned against a building, tilting his head slightly. He was on the same sidewalk to head to work or go back home. But he knew he wouldn’t go either way. Not even the sounds of the motel sounded good. His legs just felt heavy and another heavy sigh escaped him. He didn’t want to do anything. Even moving away from the road felt like it took more out of him than it should have. 

He just wanted another blade. 

Maybe then these feelings would slip away just like the blood would from his wrists. 

[resoundingdespair]

What had he done? 

He just took his frustrations of everything out on him. Everything he had bottled up, overflowed so suddenly and he just lashed out at Taichi. In a library no less. He said so many things he didn’t even mean nor did he ever think he would ever say to anyone. Tiachi didn’t deserve anything that he had just yelled out at him. 

Not being able to say anything, Takeru watched him go. What was he suppose to do? Stand up and apologize? He already looked like a dick. Putting his hand over his face and leaning back, he let out a soft groan. Today was not his day. He never had been so mean to someone before. At least not like that. 

Getting up, he quickly gathered his things and left as well. Not wanting to be the center of attention anymore with those who were in the library starring. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE BALL ~~~~~~~~~

And so that dreaded day came. Everyone all dressed up and most everyone having dates to the dance. Takeru had also dressed up and was sitting at a table with Hikari and whoever she had brought along with. But he couldn’t get what he said to Taichi out of his head. He hadn’t even really seen him either since that incident. 

He wondered if he would even show up to the ball now. But he guessed he would have to being the champion and everything. But what did he care? He didn’t care. It was better this way anyways. It was probably a good thing Tiachi was now leaving him alone. Now there wouldn’t be any more heartaches or what not when Taichi went back to his school. 

However, as his blue eyes scanned around, they ended up falling right onto Taichi. Then the female who was latched onto his arm. A spark of jealousy had suddenly washed over him. His heart feeling like it just sunk into his stomach. He knew Taichi would have gotten another date if he was going to show up, so why was he feeling the things he was feeling. 

He found himself not being able to take his eyes off of, ignoring Hikari who was trying to get his attention. The only time he would look away would be the times if Taichi would look over in his own direction. 

Now Or Never (Hogwarts AU) Takeru + Taichi

…Yikes. 

Taichi slunk back in his chair. Slowly backing further into his wooden chair as Takeru continued his onslaught of words. He didn’t even take a small breather during his yelling, he just continued on and on. It was almost impressive. The only reason why Taichi stuck on that almost was because Takeru was loudly verbalizing things that Taichi didn’t want to hear. But had this been about anything else, Taichi would have to tip his hat off. 

Although…all joking aside. Getting rejected sucked. Especially if was by yelling in the middle of a library. It was almost as bad as that one time hismother had sent him a howler about why he didn’t notify her about his academy coming to Hogwarts.

“Uh…” Taichi scratched the back of his neck looking away from Takeru. He didn’t know how to act calm about this. It’s not like he was looking to get yelled at. He just really wanted to be Takeru’s date for the ball. He didn’t consider what he did as pushy or annoying…being taken that way made Taichi’s heart lump up in the pit of his stomach. This couldn’t have gone any worse. 

“Sorry.” Taichi wound up chuckling out of pure nervous energy, “I didn’t mean…well…ah whatever.” Taichi laughed it off again, “Alright then. Um well before this gets any more awkward, I’m gonna go.” Taichi stood from his chair, folding his hands into his pockets as he gnawed on the inside of his cheek, “But alright I get it. Sorry for bothering you so much. I’ll leave you alone from now on, so…” Taichi shrugged, “Have a good one, I guess, I don’t know. Bye.” Taichi turned around and went ahead and left, not bothering to tuck in his chair behind him as he left Takeru at the table.” 

[resoundingdespair]

“Shady?” Takeru asked, wrapping the big towel around his chest, much like a female would do. His towel was long enough it went down to his knees, just the way he liked it. “I’m not. I’m really sure I’m alright. I’m doing just fine.” He gave Taichi a smile before walking out to their bedroom to get dressed. 

“I should be more concerned about you and you over working than you should be worried about me.” A laugh left him as he got clothes out and started to dress. “Do you want me to pick up any dinner for tonight by the way? I’ll be coming home a bit later so i won’t be making anything.” 

Model Behavior // Taichi + Takeru

Taichi rolled his eyes when Takeru quickly answered his concerns and promptly darted out. It felt like Takeru was dodging something. BUt what the hell could be so bad about taking some classes. 

After staying under the hot water for a few moments longer, Taichi shut the water off and grabbing his fluffy towel and tapping himself dry, “You sure you’re alright?” Taichi asked with an edge to his tone, “You seem…shady about all of this.” Taichi wrapped his towel around his waist. 

[resoundingdespair]

“But... that’s really immature Tai.” Takeru said, walking back out from the laundry room and staring at his boyfriend who was throwing a fit. “You’re only staying mad because you want to stay mad... why? That doesn’t really make much sense.” 

Rubbing his head, he let out a sigh. “No need to yell. Nobody in the apartments wants to hear you yelling just because you want to yell. We’ll get this all worked out with your work and everything will be fine. There’s no need to stay mad about all of this. It was an accident, Tai.” 

Drama Queen Taichi

Taichi pouted, jutting out his lip as far as kid in his prime toddler age could. He crossed his arms, ready to just chuck the heap of motherboard and plastic out of the window and down 27 flights of homes. 

“I don’t care about logical solutions at this point Takeru!” Taichi shouted out, hands waving down with a large flaire, “I want to be mad about this!! So damn it all! I’m gonna stay mad about this!!” Taichi groaned out a rough yell. 

[resoundingdespair]

[resoundingdespair]

(NSFW) Hard Dominant Starters

"Come here."

"Suck me."

"Get on your knees."

"You're going to cum for me now."

"Beg for my cock."

"I want you wet for me."

"Mmm this tight ass/pussy belongs to me. Do you understand?"

"You're mine to play with and do whatever I want to."

"You're just here to satisfy/serve/please me. Is that clear?"

"Shut up. I don't care what you want. You're here to do what I want."

"Do you want to cum?"

"Beg for it."

"Louder".

"Not good enough. Try again."

"Good girl, you can cum now."

"You're such a good boy"

"You make me so hard."

"I want to cum in that wet little mouth of yours."

"I want you to swallow my cum."

"Open your mouth, I want you to drink all my cum."

"Spread yourself open for me so I can see you."

"Look at you, you dirty little slut."

[resoundingdespair]

Takeru watched as the older male came closer to him. He stayed silent, did not move. He could not move. He was frozen as he stared at Taichi. His heart skipping beats and all he wanted was to reach out and hug the other. He had missed him. He had grown to like him. Those feelings never left either once Taichi left Hogwarts. 

He knew that dancing with him on that night would be him accepting his own feelings for the other. He knew that once he had done that, there was no going back. He actually was hoping to see Taichi again though. Just to see if the other had moved on. That was one of the reasons why he did come with Hikari. 

Hearing those words escaped Taichi’s lips made the blonde’s eyes widen. The blood rushing to his cheeks suddenly and he almost forgot how to breath. So, Taichi never moved on from him? 

“I...” Takeru swallowed, trying to think of what to even say. “I...” He stepped closer then, moving his arms around the other and just placing a kiss upon Taichi’s lips. He pulled back though, it was a very shot peck and his feet placed themselves on the ground so he was no longer on his tip toes. “I have feelings for you too...” 

Missing (Hogwarts AU)

Taichi’s time in Hogwarts definitely didn’t go as planned. He didn’t expect to dislike the school so much (though now mundane life was starting to make the dangers at Hogwarts appealing now). He didn’t wind the Triwizard Tournament, which was the whole point of going down to Hogwarts in the first place. And of course, he didn’t expect to take such a fancy toward Takeru. 

He did miss the blond wizard from the humble Hufflepuff house. Despite having his own studies to go back to, Taichi still thought about Takeru whenever he had a time to his thoughts. He thought about how Takeru smiled at him the first time. He thought about how it felt to dance wit him at the Yule Ball like they were the only two people there. He wondered if Takeru thought about the same things. 

The whole reason why he came back home for the holidays was to see if a change of pace would make things different. But when he came home and saw Takeru perched in the middle of his living room. Despite the logical side of explaining that he could of possibly came with Hikari, his hopeful side wished that Takeru made the venture to see him as well. 

A wish that got stronger when Takeru responded back to Taichi’s quiet outburst. 

“…” Taichi mouth went dry as he made quiet eye contact with Takeru. He tried to guage himself but he just wound up throwing sensibilty out the window, “Takeru, I uh,” Taichi walked up close to him, stopping himself from getting to close, “Look. I know that it’s been a while…and uh, things got a bit hectic and then not hectic. And then–ah whatever,” Taichi shook his head, words would never be his forte, “The stuff that happened back during the tournament and such…I don’t feel any different about it. Even now. I still like you a lot actually,” Taichi rubbed the nape of his neck. He got quiet. Unsure if saying this after such a short time reconnecting was even a good idea in the first place, “What about you?” Taichi shrugged, he bit the inside of his lip.