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‘alone’ is comfortable, ‘lonely’ is heartbreaking

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I'm bald now

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The end

Never been this depressed in my 21 years of life. I've lost the little that I had. I've given up everything. My family ripped right down the middle. I live with my dad whose barley home; probably out with some women. My mom is a mental wreck with my brother and sister who live 30mins away from me. I work 40+ hour weeks only to still get paid shit and constantly be broke (paying for bills, house items, food, repairs, debt, ect..) My "best friends" decided I wasn't worth trying to be friends with anymore after I moved further away while my parents were separating. To top everything off, I thought after years I was finally starting to like someone who shared similar interest with me, when things were cut off "out of the blue." Ironically this all happened when I decided to shave all my hair off, literally(mid-life crisis/empowering statement towards society) and took a small trip to NY, when things so abruptly ended with him. He just left, like I was imagining his existance the entire time. I just don't know where to go and depression has always been that little fella in the back of my head but these past months he's grown to be the closest thing to me. I need help, I need advice, I need encouragement I don't want to be here, SHIT SUCKS. life is hell of a game and I'm about to throw my hands up.

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everything has failed me

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first time on here in 6months wow

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Ali Michael by Chadwick Tyler for P Magazine #3