retiredtayo

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can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

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i am chronically online but not in a way that others recognise unless they are also an active tumblr user in the year 2023 🫡

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there was a comic once that had vader test pilot imperial aircraft, and don't get me wrong, he would, he is absolutely an individual who would strap himself into a large metal contraption of questionable stability and then proceed to hurtle it at vicious speed through the air. he totally would. i'm just saying that insane imperial engineers building ships to catapult pilots through the air are probably designing at least some aviation death traps, and darth vader would be a very, very bad metric for what the average person can survive. vader tests a ship that accelerates so fast it makes him black out for several seconds and cracks a few vertebrae, and then okays the thing for mass production anyway, because of course he does. he survived burning to death in a volcano, if his spine gets crushed by g forces he just fucking shrugs and continues about his job, pain is literally his evil religion. turns out if you are not a wizard who turns pain into psychic energy that ship has a 50% chance of killing you to fuck.

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hoping i get penetrated in a barn next

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I love the way “tumblrina” was first used by like sweaty anti-sjw dudes to describe the hysterical screeching masses on here and then we fully embraced it and use it as a term of endearment. Reclaimed slur

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your friends love you, your brain is just mean

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shoutout to anthropomorphic snakes in animated movies doing poses that would normally require arms by creatively using their coils as arms instead. gotta be one of my favorite genders

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i’ve seen a lot of really messed up images in my time on the internet, weird fetish shit, even a few IRL gore images but nothing. NOTHING evokes such a deep seated, gut wrenching fear in me like this image of the fucking water slide from Action Park with the loop in it

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(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

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Video game cutscene introducing a female non-humanoid alien who looks exactly like her male counterparts because her species isn’t dimorphic in any way that humans can perceive, but the camera angles and audio cues still do the thing. All slowly panning over her dorsal ridges before getting to her light-sensing organs and lingering on her secondary manipulator appendages just a bit too long.