retrorunt

[retrorunt]

Ada: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Leon: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Ada, already taking off her clothes: God, Leon, you’re so fucking stupid.

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Min: Hey! Wanna hear a joke?

Quentin: Sure.

Min: Your life!

Quentin: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.

Min: Quentin, no.

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David: Hi, who's this? Quentin changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Min: What's mine?

David: Dwarf.

Min: HE'S SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

David: Oh, hey Feng.

Min: FUCK!

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Steve, to a depressed Jonathan: So, I heard you've been feeling sad lately.

Steve: But have you ever thought of not being sad?

Steve: *proceeds to play an epic riff on guitar*

<source: smosh tntl>

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Leon, to an angry Ada: Before you say anything, whenever you give me a mean look I get hard. Just know that when you look at me.

<source: smosh>

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Quentin: Bill? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?

Bill: Quentin, I swear to god—

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*The Squad is at an amusement park*

Steve, to Min: You have to be this tall to ride.

Min: Oh, but I am! *stands on a box*

Steve: Fair enough.

David: That's cheating.

Min: Your mom is cheating, and boy am I loving it.

David: Oh.

Steve: She got us again!

Steve: She can't keep getting away with this!!!

<source: lythero>

[retrorunt]

Steve, trying his first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Quentin, an avid coffee drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

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Yui: So, what's it like living with Renato?

Thalita: He once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Yui: ...

Thalita: I love him so much.

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Tapp: You're smiling. What happened?

Bill: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Meg: Ace tripped and fell down the stairs today.

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Yui, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

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Laurie: Hey, Steve? Can I get some dating advice?

Steve: Just because I'm with Nancy doesn't mean I know how I did it.

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Trickster: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Jake: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Meg: Ji-Woon. Answer the question, Ji-Woon.

Trickster: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Trickster: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Jake: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Meg: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Jake: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Meg: It takes less than a minute.

Jake: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Meg: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Jake: Like seven minutes??

Quentin: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Meg: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Quentin? Your stove is enchanted!

Trickster: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Yun-Jin: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

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[retrorunt]

Leon, texting Jake: Jake there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Leon: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry

Leon: Jake

Leon: Jake

Jake: Jake is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

<source>

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Jonathan: What are you two arguing about this time?

Nancy: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!

Steve: Cry me a table, Nancy.

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Steve on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Steve on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

<source>

[retrorunt]

Jake: I am Jake, I speak for the trees. Chop them down and I snap your knees.

<source>