returntotheground

[returntotheground]

feminized people are seen as universal mothers and guardians and you have to resist that shit with all your fucking strength.

[returntotheground]

also this only feeds into my belief that the VAST majority of people who claim to be people pleasers are only saying that because they think it gives them a "nice" out for their behavior

[returntotheground]

also when oh fucking when will we stop babying adult cis white women like for the love of god that is a grown adult with a job stop acting like she's a timid 4 year old who can't be expected to function

this website is so stupid bc people will write essentially diary entries about their day with minimal context and then go on to someone else's post and proceed to have a toddler tantrum over something they DO NOT have the full context for

and it never occurs to them to consider their own hypocrisy

[returntotheground]

this website is so stupid bc people will write essentially diary entries about their day with minimal context and then go on to someone else's post and proceed to have a toddler tantrum over something they DO NOT have the full context for

and it never occurs to them to consider their own hypocrisy

[returntotheground]

me when i go walking on sunny days and end up on a tree lined street and look up at the gaps of sunlight and miss you more than anything

[returntotheground]

[returntotheground]

now that i actually have an appointment set up to talk to someone about getting some kind of psych meds i keep second guessing myself like i'm probably just being dramatic right? except i've wasted my entire morning zoning out and disassociating and now feel panicked about going to the grocery store which was then followed by thinking i'm a completely useless person who is wasting an existence they don't deserve

anyways. definitely just need to Lock In like certainly nothing here requires medical attention.

[returntotheground]

my mother made me live in her reality most of the time and her reality was bugfuck nuts but like. even that world had its own interior logic and the pathways of that logic still comprise my most root level brain function, it still determines how how I process basic information. her crazy shaped and informed my crazy: you can trace the contours of my maladaptive thinking and false perceptions and see her footprints, her facial features, the shape and heft of her terrible love for me. I will never see her again in this lifetime but every neuron passing from one side of my brain to the other has her fingerprints, 2 + 2 will continue to equal 5 because I love her and it’s all I have left of her.

[returntotheground]

for my 30th birthday tomorrow, in lieu of gifts or birthday wishes i'd really appreciate if you instead donated to the sameer project, a gazan-led initiative that provides hot meals, medical aid, tents and other necessities to as many gazans as possible under siege, with no class or language discrimination. their founder mosab was murdered by israel a week ago and they desperately need funds to continue their work. as israel and the usa escalate their war efforts, it's more important that ever to help gazans as they undergo genocide

[returntotheground]

Poor Sammie played literally his first gig and immediately got the worst fan to ever exist

[returntotheground]

Americans: God. It's so embrasing how many of my fellow Americans are eager to believe obvious propaganda and lies about Iran having nuclear weapons and being a credible threat to America. Some Iraq 2.0 style stuff.

The American military: *Does American things Americanly*

Somehow the same Americans: I'm going to die tonight in a nuclear blast. My suburb in Ohio will be the primary target. My only consolation is knowing that I won't live to suffer the horrors that will follow.

[returntotheground]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

[returntotheground]

Beyond providing something to cite, the other benefit of doing "water is wet" type studies is that, like, it's not impossible for people to be reductive about their own experiences. I can think of any number of situations where "everybody knows" that all members of group A experience B, and plenty of members of group A will themselves tell you this is obviously the case, but then somebody actually does the work and it turns out to be substantially more complicated than that.

[returntotheground]

being in academia is kind of like where you're on everest and you see the frozen bodies of the other people who've tried it strewn about everywhere and you think "okay, but that's them and i'm me"

[returntotheground]

GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART

[returntotheground]

REALLY not liking the trend of original, beautifully animated family movies like Wallace and Gromit Vengeance most Fowl and Kpop Demon Hunters being direct to streaming while the Lilo and Stitch and How to Train Your Dragon remake are theatrical releases

[returntotheground]

went looking thru my docs and i haven't written anything in 9 months. anyways do you mind if i scream and scream and scream