revisitingbuffy

[revisitingbuffy]

S2 Ep3: School Hard

Plot Summary:

Buffy's mother and friends become trapped inside Sunnydale High School when a vampire named Spike launches an attack against the Slayer on Parent-Teacher night.

Sarah Thoughts:

IT’S HAPPENING, BITCHES!!!!! IT’S SPIKE TIME!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!

Also excited to see Drusilla at full Dru capacity. She’s bonkers and the best.

That iconic entrance of Spike driving through the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign, smoking a cig in the duster...I giggled so. Vamp face and all. 

Spike’s accent (James Marsters’s dialect) is perfection. His PRESENCE. He loves DRU SO MUCH. THEY ARE SUCH FREAKS FOR EACH OTHER. TRUE LOVE. 

Willow is wearing another Scooby Doo shirt in this episode.

Spike stalks Buffy for the first time in this episode. The first of many, many many times for many, many many reasons. He’s obsessed with her even then. 

They obviously made the vampire make-up more palatable, because they knew what they were going to do later on in the series.

JOYCE SAVING BUFFY! Eat your heart out, Molly Weasley. Joyce did it first. Their relationship is getting more entertaining, too, thank god.

And so wait, did Spike not know Angel had a soul? I never watched “Angel” so I can’t remember precisely what happens. 

And Spike kills the Anointed One because they knew it wasn’t going anywhere. What a hero. 

Writing

Buffy is in charge of Parent Teacher Night at school, with a girl who’s a *true* delinquent. Then Spike and Dru come into town and CHANGE THE GAME OF “BUFFY” FOREVER. 

Seriously, up until this part, the guest characters were a joke. The villains were nothing. Spike and Dru immediately steal the screen, and make a real impression on the story and character dynamics. I can’t believe at first they were just going to be there for a few episodes. James Marsters and Julliette Landau are a class above the rest. Brilliant.

Quippy Quips

“That was never proven. The fire marshal said it could’ve been mice.” - Buffy. “Mice?” - Snyder. “Mice that were smoking?”

“Everything that i put in the ground withers and dies.” - Drusilla. 

“Nice work!” - Spike, slow clapping. “Who are you?” - Buffy. “You’ll find out on Saturday.” “What happens on Saturday?” “I kill you.” LOL no you don’t, sweet baby Spike. Not by a long shot.

“Even slaves get minimum wage!” - Cordelia

“You were my sire, man! You were my yoda!” - Spike to Angel

“How’s the Annoying One?” - Spike. OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT SPIKE SAID THIS! Did I take this from him? Or did he and I just come to the same conclusion?

Feminism - Yay!

Honestly, Dru and Spike may be evil, but they have a very equal partnership. And a THRIVING SEX LIFE. And he is there for her, and wants to meet her physical and emotional needs. Sadistic towards others, very kind to each other. Best relationship in “Buffy” so far (sorry Giles and Jenny). 

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Can Buffy please wear a bra? Look, I’m not saying people should wear bras, I’m saying don’t have the teenage protagonist not wear a bra in order to make her sexier for our audience. 

Xander Creep Factor: 0 out of 5 Eww’s

Xander flinches at a tampon, but I’ll allow it.

Overall rating: 5 out of 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S2 Ep2: Some Assembly Required

Plot Summary:

Two science club nerds use body parts to create the "perfect girlfriend" for a teenager who has been brought back from the dead.

Sarah Thoughts:

At first (again, only 2nd time watching this season) this was the “Ted” episode, but after looking up the summary description...oooh it is not.

Giles looks generally hotter this season. I’d fuck him.

Goons of the week: Chris has a VERY OBVIOUS unibrow. And Eric is so awful. And creepy. He’s the slimiest looking 90′s motherfucker of all time.

I like that Willow brings powdered donuts to the Scooby adventures.

Eric sings “My Girl” to “my baby”, the corpse. FUN TIMES USA.

I’m shipping Giles and Jenny hard. He’s so cute. She’s so in control. Yes yes yes.

Go on with your bad self, Giles. We’re all rooting for you.

Giles disses football, saying it’s not as good as rugby, like every English person ever.

Angel’s jealousy of Xander is stupid, even if it is things like “seeing you in daylight”.

Quippy Quips

“Hello, can we deal with my pain, please?” - Cordelia

“Corpses, yes, evil, very good...” - Giles lost in the daydream that is Jenny Calendar.

“Excuse me, Miss Calendar!” - Giles. “Please call me Jenny. Miss Calendar was my father” - Jenny fuckin’ Calendar.

Feminism - Yay!

Jenny Calendar is a cool motherfucker who can ask men out on a date and be chill about it. And then set up a second date like it’s nothing. She is my hero.

I guess it’s good...that...the episode...frames mutilating girls (and girl corpses)...as...bad?

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Angel being jealous of Xander for also liking Buffy (and dancing with her once?!) as if Buffy can’t have her own mind and make her own decisions.

“I’m an old-fashioned girl. I believe men dig up the corpses and women have the babies” - joke or not? Meh.

There’s a shot directly up Cordelia’s cheerleading skirt after she’s tied up - it’s completely unnecessary.

Daryl is defeated by burning up in a fire, hugging the corpse(s), and saying “she’s mine”.

Episode ends with Angel bringing up the Xander jealousy again. And having it somehow be a part of his love for Buffy? HARD pass.

Xander Creep Factor: 2 out of 5 Eww’s

Xander is jealous of Angel...existing...greeeeaaaat.

Xander is still resentful of Buffy for not requiting his feelings. Greeeeat.

Xander commenting that the reason the science geeks can’t find a head for their reanimated corpse is because they must not find someone attractive enough.

Overall rating: 3 out of 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S2 Ep 1: When She was Bad

Plot Summary:

Buffy returns from summer vacation sporting an attitude and suffers from recurring nightmares involving the Master. Meanwhile, the Anointed One and his followers plot their revenge.

Sarah Thoughts:

I’ve only watched Season 1 and Season 2 once, after I’d seen Seasons 3 - 7 (some episodes from 3 - 6 multiple times, as those were the ones I had on DVD). I still remember this episode being super bad and shitty and Buffy acts like a “slut”? I hope I’m wrong.

Xander lost weight. Buffy lost weight. Cordelia lost weight. This makes me sad, but that’s TV for ya.

Oh! We see Buffy’s dad again! My memory sucks! 

Jenny Calendar went to Burning Man over summer break. I LOVE HER. 

The way Giles asks Buffy “How are you?” when he sees her on the first day of school? My heart!!! 

The Annoying One (sorry, the Anointed One) is here. 

Angel is back. And David Boreanaz is still a bad actor who can only smolder. Ok, and he can look annoyed when Buffy rejects him at the Bronze.

Buffy challenges Angel to a fight (”aren’t you curious to see who’d win?”). We’ll see that later, won’t we?

i know Sarah Michelle Gellar wasn’t a capable fighter, but sometimes the stunt actor substitute is so distracting. 

Writing:

Buffy comes back from LA to hear they buried the Master’s bones while she was away. She clearly is reeling from the Master. I wish we saw more of this as Buffy goes on to bigger and badder stuff, but I suppose we can’t have a PTSD episode in every season, right? 

And of course closure comes with defeating the vampires who want to resurrect the Master, and smashing the Master’s bones. 

Quippy Quips

“Willow, grow up. Not everything’s about kissing” - Buffy. 

“Oh look! It’s the three musketeers!” - Cordelia. “The three musketeers were cool.” - Willow. “I would’ve gone with stooges” - Xander.

“Why else would she be acting like a B-I-T-C-H?” - Willow. “Willow, I think we’re a little old for spelling things out.” - Giles. “A bit-ka?” - Xander.

“None of that rust and blood and grunge comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgement day: you are living with those stains.” - Cordelia. 

Feminism - Yay!

Cordelia tries her best to help Buffy not lose her friends. Sorta. 

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Buffy seductively dancing with Xander with sexy lighting with a sexy song at Bronze. Fuck I hate this so much. Super sexualized on camera, not from his point of view. And as Angel *very jealously watches on*. Barf. “Xander, did I remember to thank you for saving my life?” “No” “Don’t you wish I would?” OOOOH GOD WHYYYY

Xander Creep Factor: 2 out of 5 Eww’s

He still has a crush on Buffy. Cool. “I’m a man, i have certain wants or certain needs!” But then he puts ice cream on her nose...and suggests he lick it off and wait...then Willow and Xander almost kiss? Now all of a sudden...not so creepy...

Xander adds that things are not only about kissing: “they’re about groping!”

Honestly, though, I can tell they’re trying to backpedal on his shitty-ness.

Overall rating: 3 out of 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep12: Prophecy Girl

Plot Summary

Giles discovers an ancient book foretelling Buffy's death at the hands of the Master.

Sarah’s Thoughts:

Earthquake! It is southern California, after all. 

Jenny Calendar’s back! With a perfect lip! And so much research and clippings pointing to a prophecy! 

Angel and Giles discussing Buffy’s fate without her. Only through eavesdropping does she find out. That’s a metaphor for women and autonomy somewhere...

David Boreanaz’s acting is so limited during Buffy’s “I’m 16 years old, I don’t wanna die!” scene. And Sarah Michelle Gellar’s is so, so good. That’s a metaphor for women in the acting industry somewhere...

Joyce is such a clueless mom. I’m glad she grows as it goes along.

Vampires killed the AV Club. 

I FORGOT XANDER GIVES BUFFY CPR. But didn’t she die from the bite? And then just sort of fell into the water? Whatever. 

The monsters after the Hellmouth is opened look like Beetlejuice sand monster babies

Writing:

They clearly spent a good amount of attention and detail to this season finale. The cross between Cordelia having a date in a car while Buffy kicks a vampire’s ass for the cold open? IN SLOW MOTION? *applause*

The prophecy is that the Master will rise and the slayer will die. So we play that through: she denies her fate, then she embraces it. She goes in, the Master uses his “thrall”, traps her and then bites her. “You’re the one who sets me free,” the Master says. He bites her. Then “By the way, i like your dress”. Why didn’t we get quippy Master this whole time?!

Then - post-CPR - she gets pumped AF and pretty quickly kills the Master. For him being the “big bad”, he’s not really seen much and easily defeated. That finale isn’t nearly as intense as like a 2nd battle of another season’s Big Bad (like Glory) - that shows how far they go as the series goes on.

Quippy quips:

“Whataya think? 5.1?” - The Master sure knows his Richter scale! 

Cordelia: “Willow, I really like your outfit!” Willow: “No you don’t.” Cordelia: “You’re right. I don’t. But I need a favor!”

“When he wakes up, tell him...I don’t know...think of something cool. Tell him I said it.” - Buffy

“I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.” - Buffy classic 

“You have fruit punch mouth” - Buffy is not only so much stronger but so much quippier! 

Yay Feminism!

Willow rejects Xander’s half-assed, post-rejection-from-Buffy invite to the dance because she knows that would be a shit time for her. THANK GOD. 

Buffy punching Giles to knock him out, so she can fulfill her prophecy. 

Cordelia saves Jenny and Willow from zombie action with her ride! AND SHE DRIVES INTO THE SCHOOL! That’s the best!

After she’s resurrected: “No, I feel strong.” She’s ready for action, she’s gonna kick some ass. 

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

This picture in general. 

I am so glad Willow finds Oz and then sticks to women after that, because her being in love / totally used by Xander is the WORST. UGH.

Xander goes to Angel to help Buffy not die. They agree to disagree with personalities, and agree they’re both in love with Buffy. Cool. That’s why men help women. For paternal reasons or love reasons. Not for, you know, respect reasons.

Xander Creep Factor: 4 out of 5 Eww’s

Xander practicing asking Buffy out to Willow. Who’s clearly “in love” with him. Ugh. God. Please. Stop.

“I guess a guy’s gotta be undead to make time with you.” and “She’s still jonesing for Angel. She’s not going to make time for me”. I hate how he blames Angel for this, when she *point blank* says she doesn’t want to date him because they’re good friends, and she doesn’t feel that way about him. PERIOD. 

Xander getting rejected is so “incel”. I know it’s also “teenager” / “teenage boy” but that’s so gross. 

Overall rating:  4 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep11: Out of Mind, Out of Sight

Plot Summary

When an invisible menace starts attacking students and faculty at Sunnydale High, the Scooby Gang traces the problem back to Cordelia.

Sarah’s Thoughts:

Willow is wearing a “Scooby Doo” shirt. The Scoobies!

Mitch is HOT. Like, yes please. But when he says “it’s not [Cordelia’s] arm I’m looking to be on”...Mitch. You don’t you can’t be ON a vagina, right? Have you even had sex, Mitch? Well, guess we’ll never know. Have fun in the hospital! 

Cordelia has so many friends to help her with her May Queen dress. Why does she have to do that in the school? Doesn’t she have a fancy mansion to do it in?

Angel’s back! Remember him? *Yawn* Giles thinks Angel being in love with Buffy is “poetic”. That sure will change...

Guest star Clea Duvall as Marcy Ross, the invisible girl! You’ve had such a long and storied career in film and television. Brava to you!!

Marcy literally made herself a bedroom in the crawl space attic of the school. Honestly? She’s got a lot of ingenuity. And she lures people with her flute-playing abilities! 

Why is it the best teachers get (or almost get) murdered at Sunnydale High?

“Have a nice summer” = HAGS = the worst thing you can get in a yearbook sign. Still was true in 2001-2007. Is it still true today? Youths! Let me know! 

Buffy uses her Slayer Sense to figure out where Marcy is! First time!

So...the FBI takes invisible kids and makes them assassins. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. 

Writing:

When kids or teens share what superpower they want, it’s ALWAYS invisibility. It’s so there’s a semblance of control. You can do what you want without getting caught. Least that’s what it was for me.

Also let’s give it up for the first real Cordelia-centric episode! And the first time she’s bait! 

Quippy quips:

“My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller” - Cordelia 

“There’s no dead students here...this week...” - Snyder

“You know, I don’t recall ever seeing you [at the library] before” - Giles. “Oh no. I have a life.” - Cordelia

Yay Feminism!

“Mean girl” and “left out” behavior is totally common and real for adolescents. I like that someone resorts to violence for it!

Girls feeling invisible. Teenagers / people getting resentful and “going mad” for not feeling seen. Traditionally not a female arc. Nice.

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

No complaints here!

Xander Creep Factor: 1 out of 5 Eww’s

“I’d use my powers to protect the girls’ locker room” 

Xander wears a peep show t-shirt in the last scene. Why.

Overall rating:  3.5 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep 10: Nightmares

Plot Summary

A series of strange occurrences lead Buffy and her friends to discover that their worst nightmares have literally become reality.

Sarah’s Thoughts:

According to Willow’s reference to Buffy’s dad “coming down to visit”, it means Sunnydale is south of Los Angeles. Thanks, geography! 

Who’s the kid who makes dreams come to life? Joseph Gordon Levitt’s younger brother? Creepy kids are the worst. 

My husband on the spider attack: “Blughhhh”

Anyone else still have unprepared-for-class-at-high-school nightmares? Or not-wearing-clothes-at-school nightmares? Or you-have-to-perform-and-you-have-no-idea-what-the-words are? Just me and Buffy and Willow and Xander? 

Don’t smoke in the basement. That’s how you get attacked by monsters! Smoke in the back of the parking lot with the rest of the burn outs, Laura!

Giles meeting Buffy’s Dad is essentially: Dad, meet Dad. 

Giles mentions that if their dreams were coming true (rather than nightmares) the world would be a “musical comedy”. Noted for season six.

As the nightmares take over, Xander wanders into a broken-down part of the school where there’s a swastika on the wall. Why is this a thing that’s happening in 2019? 

What other WB show had an opera nightmare? WHAT SHOW, I ASK YOU. Groundbreaking.

Buffy’s nightmare turns into being buried alive. But she ends up digging out of her own grave in season six. And Giles’s is that Buffy dies. Which she will in season five. Woof. So much foreshadowing. Hurts me. 

Writing:

Oh right. Buffy’s dad gets a storyline here. It’s rare - we’ll see him like one other time in the whole series (in an alternate reality, no less). LA isn’t even that far away! He sucks. You can’t just abandon a kid when she’s 16! Poor kid.

So this week’s “High School is Hell” metaphor is “nightmares come to life”. Not a bad way to play with an age-old premise.

And when that nightmare of her father telling her that her mom and him split because of her? God what great acting from Sarah Michelle Gellar. The problem with his line “I don’t get anything out of these weekends with you, so how about we just don’t do them anymore?” is that we never see him again after this episode. Nightmare come true, come true again after spell is broken. :-( 

The kid, Billy, is beaten into a coma by “the ugly man”. He’s the cause of the nightmares-come-to-life.”The Ugly Man” is chasing Buffy and Billy through the nightmares. Even after she’s turned into a vampire, she kicks Ugly Man’s ass and guides Billy to lift the veil and face his fears - take the power back. Turns out, in reality, Ugly Man is his Little League coach who beat him into a coma. Kid wakes up and says “it’s not my fault, there’s 8 other players on the team”. I know it’d be too dark for a WB show, but it definitely wasn’t just that, right? That coach was a pedophile, right? 

Quippy quips:

“I’m sorry, I’m not ruffled by spiders. Now a bunch of Nazis crawling around my face...” - Xander

“Could I be seeing Billy’s astroid body?” - Buffy. “Astral” - Giles. 

“You’re a lousy clown! Your balloons animals are pathetic! Anyone can make a giraffe!” - Xander to his killer clown nightmare

Yay Feminism!

Buffy never plays the victim, and she’s a real superhero for Billy. Hell yes.

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

The lollipops have to stop. Stop it. You know what they’re doing.

Cordelia’s nightmare being her hair is poofy and she’s on the chess team. C’monnnnnnnn. 

Xander Creep Factor:  3 out of 5 Eww’s

Xander remembers lessons based on a teacher’s “blue angora” sweater. 

“When Buffy was a vampire you weren’t still attracted to her, right?” “I’m sick, I need help.” Ugh. Greeaaaaaat. That’s the last line of an otherwise great episode. Bleh.

Overall rating:  5 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep9: Puppet Show

Plot Summary

Buffy suspects that a ventriloquist's dummy may be harvesting organs from classmates performing in a talent show.

Sarah’s Thoughts:

I love how bad Cordy is at singing, and how much she doesn’t know. 

HERE WE GO, IT’S SNYDER TIME! One of the best “love to hate” characters of “Buffy”. 

Cordelia + Xander = perfection. They truly deserve each other.

Morgan brings the dummy to class about halfway through this episode. I assume by force from the dummy. But why would a sentient dummy want to attend a sophomore history class? 

I love that Giles ends up as bait. It’s good everyone takes a turn. 

Never. Trust. Magicians. Especially ones named Marc. WITH A “C”! 

Writing:

Great. A shitty, sexist, possessed ventriloquist dummy. WOoOoooo. That premise is already run into the ground. Oh wait, I forgot the twist that the ventriloquist dummy isn’t the bad guy! He’s a demon hunter forced to live inside a puppet! Whew. Still sexist tho. Womp womp. 

Quippy Quips:

“Did I mention that I hate this school?” - Xander, after a girl gets her heart cut out in the locker room. 

“I don’t get it. What is it? Avant garde?” - Snyder. And then the Oedipus scene. Too good. 

Yay Feminism!

Willow’s the smartest one in school. Well, after Morgan. Who had cancer.

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Why does Buffy’s dresses barely cover her vulva. Why.

Sid the Ventriloquist demon hunter is so thirsty for teenage girls. C’mon. Please no. And the “oh well” attitude. Please please no. 

Xander Creep Factor:  1 out of 5 Eww’s

He plays with the dummy in a creepy voice. 

Overall rating: 3 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep8: I Robot, You Jane

Plot Summary

Willow's new Internet chat buddy turns out to be a powerful demon (Moloch) electronically unleashed from a centuries-old, newly digitized book.

Sarah’s Thoughts:

Look at all this involved backstory for demon of the week! Real Italian and everything! And a magic book! 

FIRST TIME WITH JENNY CALENDAR! She’s sassy! She’s modern! She knows computers! She’s teaching while wearing leather jackets...? So sad she’ll be fridge-d in season two...She’s a great match to Giles. We could’ve used a female authority figure in these here parts.

Okay, Jenny Calendar is super cool (she waltzes into computer lab with sunglasses, crimped hair, coffee, and a STRUT) so I looked up what age the actor was when this was filmed. She’s 27. TWENTY SEVEN. That’s 3 years younger than me?! WHAT. Giles is like...43. Bro. BRO. Now I’m upset. Jenny, you really really deserve better. No offense, Giles. 

“You’ve Got Mail” sound? Awww nostalgia.

Buffy’s GPA is a 2.8. Look, I get it. Slaying comes before homework.

Malcom the demon isn’t just manipulating overeager kids, he’s changing reports on Nazis and deleting health records! 

Okay, that last scene with Jenny and Giles...15 years difference...who cares. I ship it. She’s a total Scorpio. Go get him girl. 

Writing:

This is like a very old demon-y version of Catfish meets AOL chat rooms meets War Games. And pixelated web cams. Awww. So 90′s. 

This is definitely a “High School is Hell: Internet Stranger Danger!” episode. I am going to give Willow some leeway because she’s super impressionable, gullible, and basically surrenders to Malcom for a bit. But she’s a smart one, and suspicious when Malcom mentions Buffy’s expulsion. Too bad by that time she’s trapped - and bait. 

Also, one of the other accidentally-demon-worshipping students (Dave) is murdered, but it’s made to look like a suicide. That’s fucking dark. Fritz, the 3rd student under the spell of “Malcom”, is the one who killed Dave and tries to kill Willow. This is sadly a metaphor that could still be translatable today - the idea that evil championed and encouraged online can translate into real-life violence, perpetrated and executed by white men. Beep Boop.

Quippy quips: 

“If you’re not plugged in, you’re not ALIVE!” - some student (Fritz) about computers. Woah there, buddy. 

Same dude keeps repeating “I’m jacked in” as he’s being brainwashed by the demon.

“My spider sense is tingling” - Buffy

“You only think that knowledge should be guarded in suppositories where only a handful of white guys can get at it.” - JENNY FUCKIN’ CALENDAR. WOKE AF. 

“Techno-pagan is the term. There’s more of us than you think.” - Jenny Calendar

“Hey! I got to hit someone!” - Xander

“Let’s face it! None of us are ever going to have a happy, normal relationship!” - Buffy. “We’re doomed!” - Xander. They all laugh. And then sigh. Poor Season 1 Episode 8 kids. How right you were.

Yay Feminism!

Computer science teacher is a woman! And a cool woman! Jenny Calendar is so confident, capable, and a perfect match with Giles. Bless.

When the demon / robot / Malcom says “you are mine”, Willow says “I’m not yours! I’m never going to be yours!” Granted, he’s a terrifying robot and a demon, so it’s not like she’s super turned on, but still! 

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

“Tell me the truth - how’s my hair?” Yah, glad we abandon “valley girl” tropes for Buffy soon after this. Save them for Cordy.

Xander Creep Factor:  2 out of 5 Eww’s

IN THE FIRST SCENE, HE IS LITERALLY WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS “PORN STAR” ON IT. C’MON! This is like shooting fish in a barrel.

General negging and jealousy 

Overall rating:  5 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep7: Angel

Plot Summary

Buffy discovers Angel's dark secret and hesitates to do anything about it, which could spell danger for someone she loves.

Sarah’s Thoughts:

Here we go! The *iconic* first season episode where we learn who Angel is. 

Darla’s back! Yay! And she’s in full Darla mode. HELL yeah. 

I’m not a fan of Willow’s love for Xander. Please let this plot line die.

I love that diary line. 

David Boreanaz is has gone from bad acting to “smolder acting”

First time Joyce plays the victim. 

Gun-wielding vampires?! Weird.

THE CROSS AT THE END. Oof my teenage heart! 

Writing:

The reveal of Angel being a vampire is pretty damn great. The mislead of Angel not being a vampire (”vampires can’t go inside unless they’re invited” - as they run from The Three into Buffy’s house). The kiss that leads into his vamp face reveal (a sort of a foreshadow for season two...) is a nightmare scenario for Buffy at this juncture, but not a shock to the audience because we had so little info to go off of. 

Then Darla. She sets Angel up so Buffy stops trusting him and starts hunting him. I love that we have Darla’s history established here, too. And I totally forgot she gets dusted in this and we don’t see her again until “Angel”!! That’s how much a part of the Whedonverse she is! 

This is where I wonder if, in this go-around, I’ll actually be a “Bangel” shipper in my wise old age. I’ve always been a “Spuffy” shipper in times past and thought Angel was dumb/boring. Doesn’t hurt that James Marsters is the best actor to grace the series and has one of the strongest arcs. Boreanaz barely got his feet on the ground, acting-ability-wise, before moving off to “Angel”. We’ll see!

Yay Feminism!

“I’ll go get some bandages - take your jacket and your shirt off” - yaaas girl!! Get it!!

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

The Anointed One called Darla weak, but calling that “anti-feminism” is being real picky. Her ego was what did her in, ultimately. Still, it’s dumb hearing it from some SoCal 10-year-old.

Xander Creep Factor:   out of 5 Eww’s

“I don’t know what everyone’s talking about - that outfit doesn’t make you look like a hooker!” - to Cordelia. BLEEP BLOOP.

Xander negging Angel’s good behavior. Get ready for 7 seasons of that. 

Overall rating: 5 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep 6: The Pack

Plot Summary:  Xander and several other students are possessed by the spirit of a demonic breed of hyenas that wreak havoc at the high school.

Sarah Thoughts:

Cute tiny piggy mascot! I’m sad he’ll be eaten. I love piglets. 

Cute nice Mr. Flutie! I’m sad he’ll be eaten. I love nice principals.

Regular gym classes get postponed when it rains? Very southern California of them. 

Dodgeball with jungle music? 

Slow walk with spin-off-version-of-Audioslave music? Cheesy. 

Writing 

First Xander-centric episode. Greeeeaaaat.

Okay, so we go a little sideways with the “High School is Hell” metaphor and we have demon hyenas possessing a bunch of dickhead bully kids (plus Xander, who was primed for it!). They’re already terrorists. And Xander is a straight up dick, rather than a “funny” dick, with the hyena possession. Sooooo whoooo caaaaaares.

HOW DARE XANDER HURT WILLOW. DEMON XANDER NONTHELESS. 

Quippy Quips

Buffy on hyenas: “They are the shmos of the animal kingdom”

Feminism - Yay!

First time seeing Buffy train! Woo!

Buffy calls what Xander did to her (while possessed) “federal sexual assault”. So that’s nice!

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Willow loves Xander now? Ugh. Why. NO. Last 5 episodes they were just friends! She even asks Xander “Did I do something?” when they discover his weird behavior (from the hyenas!). Lord. I know that this is a potential arc for Willow to grow a backbone - she stands up to him later when he’s locked in a cage and doesn’t fall for his seduction - but still. Xander? 

Xander Creep Factor:  10 out of 5 Eww’s

While possessed, Xander tries to rape Buffy. 

“You like your men mean, right? Dangerous and mean. Like Angel.” As he pins her down. “Do you know long I’ve waited for you to stop pretending we’re not attracted” Also: "The more I scare you, the better you smell”

“He tried his hand at federal sexual assault” Buffy says after knocking him out. Well, don’t hate Spike for trying to rape Buffy in season 6 if you’re also not gonna remember this nugget either.

And then he tries to seduce Willow and play with her feelings to get free from the cage Buffy stuffs him in (we’ll see a lot of that cage with Oz later on). 

And THEN when he is de-possessed, he asks the girls if he did anything else “embarrassing” besides eat a pig, and THEY DON’T DISCUSS THIS AT ALL. 

And I guess that’d be okay (maybe they want to let him off the hook and not have him take the blame for something “he” didn’t do?) if it wasn’t revealed that HE REMEMBERED ALL OF IT. And Giles knows this too (”your secret dies with me”) and all Xander replies with is “shoot me, stuff me, mount me”. And we don’t know what he means by that. Probably not “wow I can’t believe i manipulated and tried to seduce my best friend and try to rape my new friend”. 

Overall rating:  1 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep5: Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Plot Summery:

With Buffy preoccupied by her date with Owen, Giles is trapped by a group of vampires seeking to raise a powerful leader.

Sarah Thoughts:

Buffy banter with Giles is 100% there at this point. It. Is. Great.

I’m sorry, we’ve never seen this Owen guy before. I know this is the nature of network television, but it’s so odd to me that this dude is suddenly the hottest guy in school. 

Does nobody bring their own lunch in high school tv shows? 

The Bronze music talent is 100. 

Owen is so eager to see a dead body. Love this weirdo. 

The guest star “country” vampire is such a wackadoo. 

Great use of the crematorium for killing the vampire. Creative kills are always the bomb.

Xander and Willow are drinking peak 90′s juice boxes (Minute Maid and the plastic bottle kool-aid) at the end of the episode and I am HERE FOR IT.

And here we go with “the anointed one” or as I call this child actor, “the annoying one”. 

Quippy Quips

“90% of the vampire slaying game is waiting” - Giles

“If the apocalypse comes, beep me!” - classic Buffy

Feminism - Yay!

Owen is this super quiet chill guy who loves to read and doesn’t like Cordelia because she’s “grabby”. That’s nice! And he loves Emily Dickenson! And he has boundaries! He is a pure cinnamon roll. He wanted to end the date with Ben and Jerry’s! Bless him! 

Cordelia is thirsty AF and I’m here for it. 

Owen is into Buffy *and* what she does (”it makes me feel alive!”) and she turns him down because she doesn’t want him to die. Thus begins the first of many sacrifices Buffy will make for love. Here we go.

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

“Does this outfit make me look fat?” - give me a break, Joss

Buffy commenting on Cordelia’s hips? C’mon...

Xander Creep Factor:  4 out of 5 Eww’s

“Buffy and Owen and Xander. That is me.” He sure loves being putting himself in the middle of Buffy love situations! 

Xander being the worst with every scene that involves Owen or Owen is mentioned. I could write it all down but I don’t have the time.

But he did help Owen get home. 

Notable Buffy outfits

I’m pretty sure they sell this top at Forever 21 right now. 

Classic mini dress with boots. And, if you see closely, pantyhose! Is this the reason I used to wear them in high school? 

Overall rating: 5 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep4: Teacher’s Pet

Plot Summary:

Buffy's biology teacher is killed by a giant praying mantis that assumes the form of a beautiful substitute teacher.

Sarah Thoughts:

I like how the science teacher is so nice to Buffy!! Too bad he gets eaten by a praying mantis. Womp womp. 

LOL Angel gives Buffy his leather jacket and he’s wearing a barely-stitched white tank undershirt underneath. Good lord.

Evil praying mantis women was right to prey on high school boys - so so dumb. 

They use a tape recorder to defeat the praying mantis monster and for that I miss the 90′s. 

Another good “High School is Hell” storyline.

Feminism - Yay!

Buffy calling Angel out on being a cypher and disappearing all the time. And then still wearing his jacket everywhere. I get it.

The male virginity storyline - it’s ok to be a virgin at 16!

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

If a character called Xander on his shit with women, or had the series commenting on it AT ALL, that would be cool. Let’s see him evolve, learn, mess up, try again, whatever. Alas. No. This is who he is. Forever. Ugh.

Why does Xander have to love Buffy? And why do we have to wait till Season 3 to stop this from happening? And why is he so awful and possessive even after he’s dating someone else? ugghhhhh

The male virgin storyline’s fragility around being known as a virgin. 

Xander Creep Factor:  5 out of 5 Eww’s

Xander’s sexy dream about Buffy where she’s a damsel in distress with no other motive but to swoon at his slaying and guitar playing? BARF CITY.

Pretends Willow and Buffy are his girlfriends to impress other men. Ugh.

“Cheerleaders were modeling their short skirts...”

“What what kind of girly name is Angel anyway”

HE LEARNS NOTHING FROM THIS

Notable Buffy outfits

Leather jacket plus boots plus plaid dress giving my 90′s life.

Overall: 5 out of 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep3: Witch

Plot Summary:

Buffy suspects she has a witch on her hands when the cheerleading squad falls victim to sudden blindness and spontaneous combustion

Sarah Thoughts:

This may have been the first Buffy episode I saw (a rerun) and I remember it freaked me the FUCK out when Cordy’s eyes go white - yikes! I must’ve been 11 or 12.

First appearance from Amy!! I forgot you weren’t always a rat. 

Writing

This episode is interesting because it deals with a girl who’s being pressured by her mom to be her perfect protege. High expectations, numerous references to controlling her weight - both from Amy (Willow asks “Lost weight?” Amy replies “Had to”) and from Willow telling Buffy about Amy’s mom (”if she gains an ounce she padlocks the fridge”). Buffy tries it with her mom but both fail to pull it off - Joyce is too focused on her job and Buffy doesn’t want her mom’s suggestions. 

Turns out Amy and her mom switched bodies so Mom could relive her glory days. Honestly this is a great twist. 

This is also the first time we’ve really had a quality “this magic thing is actually a metaphor for a real life problem” aka High School is Hell. 

Quippy Quips

Buffy: “Amy’s mom is...Nazi-like?” 

Willow: “Hiel.”

Feminism - Yay!

Willow being a hacker! 

Amy’s obsession with her mom and her mom’s perfection is still pervasive in girls. 

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Why did it have to be cheerleading, though? Why wouldn’t the female competition be like debate or, god, field hockey? 

Xander Creep Factor:  4 out of 5 Eww’s

Deduction for oogling cheerleaders at try-outs

Wanting to ask Buffy out...getting Willow to give him advice...

Xander checks out witch books for the semi-nude engravings *eye roll*

Generally obsessed with girls 

Notable Buffy outfits

Cute and lethal. 

Overall rating: 5 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

S1 Ep 2: The Harvest

Plot Summary:

Buffy and her friends encounter a powerful vampire bent on opening a portal to a dimension inhabited by demons.

Sarah Thoughts:

David Boreanaz is so bad at acting. So so bad.

Harmony makes her first appearance! Bless that mess.

If you think this principal is bad, wait till you meet Snyder...

The Scoobies are officially formed in this episode!

The Master is...fine...

Feminism - Yay!

Women in STEM - Willow is good at computers! That’s nice! Especially for 1998!! 

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Jesse (Xander’s BFF from the pilot - remember him? no? of course not) is a vampire now, and telling Cordelia to “shut up” turns her on and makes her forget about his previously nerdy existence. *eye roll* Don’t worry - he is staked. 

DO WE NEED BUFFY SUCKING ON A LOLLIPOP AT THE END. After she totally took control and kicked serious ass and was a great leader?! *double eye roll*

Xander Creep Factor:  0 out of 5 Eww’s 

Good ally and listener! 

Overall rating: 4 out 5 stakes

[revisitingbuffy]

Season 1 Episode 1: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”

Plot Summary:

Buffy Summers arrives for her first day at a new school, and already weird things are happening. She investigates a dead body that is found in the girls' locker room, and, with the help of her new friends Willow and Xander, she fights a gang of vampires. Also, she meets Cordelia and her friends, and Giles, her new Watcher, tells her more about her destiny.

Sarah Thoughts:

My heart went pitter-pat for the title sequence. This show will always have a place in my heart. Blame adolescence. 

Love Mrs. Summers. Joyce is a good mom. Dumb, but good.

Angel is an INFANT. So young. And so, so bad at acting.

Giles is so earnest and I love how committed Anthony Stewart Head is.

The Master is ridiculous. 

Writing - Yay!

Joss Whedon’s comedy still sings. The patter in general is brilliant and timeless.

“Gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker”

“Nobody cool has Epstein Barr anymore”

“God, what is your childhood trauma?!”

“it sure is dark.” “It’s night” “Well that’s a dark time, night. Traditionally.”

Feminism - Yay!

Darla making the “sweet girl” into “killer vamp” teaser in the cold open is brilliant. Julie Benz, you had no idea what you were getting into!

The fact that the slayer is always a girl. That’s nice!

That’s not Feminism, Joss!!!

Willow and Buffy bond over how to get guys to like you when at the Bronze.

All the shopping references - meh. Glad we got rid of them for Buffy. 

All of Buffy’s mentors are men: Giles and Angel. That never really changes. I blame this for the reason I struggle with female mentorship! I blame it all on you, Joss!!

Xander Creep Factor: 4 out of 5 Eww’s

One thing that I already knew going into this is that Xander is a big toxic masculinity creep. But now we revisit the series to answer these questions: was he always a creep, or did he grow into it? We’re about to find out.

Hits on Buffy pretty much immediately.

Negs a lot

Buffy outfits: 

Classic 90′s school girl. Get it! 

More blue, super short. Look at that 90′s hair and makeup. 

Overall rating: 4 out of 5 stakes (it ends on a cliffhanger!!)