rewriteyourhistorywithgod

[rewriteyourhistorywithgod]

Finally brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praise worthy dwell on those things. Philippians 4:8

Paul not say focus on what what is just, pure, lovely, and commendable part of the time. He said dwell. Dwell means live in or at a specific place. Paul used dwell as we must live in what is just, pure, lovely, and commendable. The only thing on this side of heaven that meets that description and is praise worthy is God’s living word the Bible.

Sanctify them by truth; your word is truth. John 17:17

Jesus states to his disciples that God’s word is the truth. This brings us to Paul’s words earlier. Dwell on what is true. Therefore we should be dwelling in God’s word.

When we live and dwell in God’s word we find the world and all it’s temptations are no longer in our eyesight but rather doing God’s Will is instead. We find we will refuse to waiver on temptations but rather live in joy for God’s plan for us.

When we display God’s joy in our lives and show that we are growing in God’s word we bring others to God. We are made to worship and be disciples for Christ.

To make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. Ephesians 5:26

While our spirit is saved by Jesus’ bloodshed, our soul needs to be continually washed by the word of God. Your soul encompasses your mind, Will, and emotions. This is the part of you that Satan tries to manipulate to attempt to regain control and possession of your spirit and your life.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

As a follower of Christ the enemy will test you as he loves when you stumble as he views that as his doorway in. By not dwelling in God’s word we are allowing a door to open with ignorance of God’s truth. We must hold God’s word close so we are transformed for God’s will and not for this world.

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

Reading the truth renews our mind everyday. It sets our our expectations from God and how we should act. The Bible lays out God’s plan for you and helps us learn about the evils in the world. It grants us discernment between what is of God and what is of the enemy.

We can compare dwelling in God’s word to a final exam in college. We would not do well on a final exam if we do not open our book, attend class, or do our assignments. We would never take that class expecting all knowledge to just appear in our head at enrollment, so why would we expect to just know everything about God’s plan the second we’re saved.

We have to study God’s word, attend church, and have fellowship with others to fully learn and obtain the knowledge God has for us.

All scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness. So that the man of God may be complete equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

He speaks about these things in all his letters. There are some matters that are hard to understand. The untaught and unstable will twist them to their own destruction, as they do with the rest of the scriptures. Therefore dear friends, since you know this in advance, be on your guard, so that you are not led away by the error of lawless people and fall from your own stable position, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. 2 Peter 3:16-18

Take time to read your bible and be in prayer. God wants that relationship with you. 20 mins a day will make all the difference in your relationship with God.

[rewriteyourhistorywithgod]

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10

God’s promises for our lives fill the Bible. He promises us safety, love, guidance, wisdom, forgiveness, and more. God fulfills his promises. If ever in doubt of God fulfilling his promises remember he promised us forgiveness and sent his son to die on the cross for our sins so we are forgiven. As a mother myself, I could never imagine sending my child to slaughter for the wrong doings of others but God did so we could be saved.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8

God’s promise in Deuteronomy 31:8 is to never forsaken or abandon us. He fulfills that promise every day with the blessings in your life. It is us as humans who tend to forsake God especially at a time of struggle. It is easy for us to turn away when things are bad but stay faithful when our circumstances are good. Why is this?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5

Have you ever had to scold a child for wrongdoing? When they shy away or look away they don’t want to face their convictions. We are the same with God. When we are sinning it is harder for us to attend church, praise God, and trust in his promises. When we turn away from God though he still walks besides us and ensures we are safe. We as God’s children need to be sure to praise God even in our roughest and darkest places and not rely on our own understanding or judgement. We must turn everything to God without holding back. We can’t not expect a relationship with our spouse, children, etc to thrive without open communication and honesty so how can we expect one to thrive with God if we do not trust and don’t communicate.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. – 1 Peter 5:10

When we go through the darkest times of our life and remain faithful God will bless us beyond measure. He will restore and strengthen you. As you walk your path remember to worship God through the light and dark times, for the blessings unto will pour.

[rewriteyourhistorywithgod]

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the lord – Hebrews 12:14

Living with peace with everyone is almost impossible but yet the Lord commands we do so. We as human have a very hard time being peaceful towards those who have wronged us. So how can our creator expect us to do so?

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

Through forgiveness not just in those who have done us wrong but through God himself as well. The old phrase forgive but never forget should not apply to our debtors. For God has forgiven us hundreds if not thousands of times. While showing this grace to others is not as easy we can get better at it.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all righteousness. 1 John 1:9

We get better at forgiving others by turning it over to God. For without God we wouldn’t know the ultimate forgiveness through Jesus. We would be lost sheep looking for direction forever damned. Instead of allowing his children to be forever damned he sent Jesus to earth to bear our sins and allow forgiveness for us. The Bible states that in order for us to continue to be granted the forgiveness of God we must also forgive one another. Instant forgiveness for a wrong doing is not mandatory but turning it to God is.

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. – Mark 11:25

Once we are able to fully forgive those who have harmed us we will find the true definition of God’s grace and forgiveness in our lives. While this doesn’t mean that we will live a perfect rainbow life, it does mean we will continue to be blessed beyond measure for we are God’s children.

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. – Hebrew 8:12

Let’s return to the old phrase: forgive but never forget. In Hebrews God clearly states he will forgive the wickedness and will forget their sins. Once God has forgiven us for our sins we start again with a clean slate. To God the sin is gone never to be held against you again. This is because true forgiveness does not hold a grudge or dredge up those actions later. True forgiveness does not keep score or let the wrong doing fester in our hearts. True forgiveness is letting go as if the transgression against us did not happen.

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. – Proverbs 17:9

Proverbs states in order for love to prosper we must forgive. True forgiveness is forgiving as God forgives us everyday. If we can not offer true forgiveness we can not allow our relationship to prosper and continue to grow. The grudge will turn to darkness in our hearts and will separate us from God’s forgiveness.

So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. – Luke 17:3

You are not obligated to keep abusive and toxic people in your life. You rather can cut them off, turn it over to God, and forgive. Do not allow those who continue to harm you to remain in your life but do not hold the animosity for them either. Give it to God and forgive. You are not obligated to tell the person you forgive them but rather forgive them from the heart. Luke states if you are sinned against to rebuke them and if they repent forgive. This means do not allow someone to continue to harm you. You are to rebuke them. The best gift you can give yourself and others is forgiveness. Through forgiveness you are showing God’s grace and love.

[rewriteyourhistorywithgod]

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the lord cares for me.” Psalm 27:10 TW Abuse

The sexual abuse started when I was 5 years old. This is the hardest to wrap my head around. We have all seen 5-year Olds. While yes beautiful, there is nothing sexually attractive about them at all. But rather the urge to protect and love a 5-year-old has always been my instinct.  I will never understand the type of mental instability it took to look at my 5-year-old self and make that decision. The decision that forever scarred me and left me feeling ultimately used, worthless, and nasty. I feel out of all I was forced to endure this left the biggest impact, the biggest scars, and was the biggest hit on my self-worth.

The sexual abuse left me looking for men to fill a void, left me seeking sexual contact, and ultimately led me down a very sexual self-destructive path that started at the early age of 13 and endured until I was into my 20’s.

My parents abandoned me. No, they didn’t leave me on a random doorstep or drop me off in the middle of nowhere with no intention of return. But rather they abandoned me emotionally. We look to our parents to provide love, education, needs, and safety. When they fall short of this in big life impacting ways, it’s the equivalent of abandoning us. We are left with questions, scars, and feeling lost in life. While our parents might abandon us, our heavenly father does not. He does not forsake our needs. He will always provide what we need to thrive through him.

The mental anguish caused by our earthly parents cannot hold a candle to the love our heavenly father has for us.

“For God so loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

I have yet to come across a human who would sacrifice his one and only son to save other people. But God being who he is, sacrificed his only son to save you and me. While we look at ourselves as a hot mess of mental issues, traumas, and blankets God looks at us as worthy, loved, and perfect.

It took me years to come to find God. I’m no stranger to church, but yet I was still disconnected and lost from God’s grace. In my own eyes I was worthless and undeserving of anything good in my life. I found myself trying to self-destruct anything that made me happy. I viewed myself as unworthy of happiness or love from anyone. I was damaged goods.

Through God, I have found that this is untrue. Once I was willing to let God enter my heart and life, I found that I had a new life. I found that I was worthy of love. God’s love. God granted me confidence and security. God ensured that I was to no longer walk alone in my struggles and decided to guide me towards healing and strength. God wants you to be the best you that you can be. He does not want you to be in an eternal loop of ill feelings, unforgiveness, and hatred toward yourself.

“Such is the confidence we have through Christ before God.” 2 Corinthians 3:4

God wants us to have confidence through him. He does not want our past to define not only who we are but what we think of ourselves. We are made in God’s image. And by thinking ill of ourselves we are thinking ill of God himself.

“Then God said, let us make man in our image, according to our likeness….” Genesis 1:26

God made us to be in him image. Therefore, we need to have the same confidence in ourselves that we have in God. Failure to do so is accusing God of not being all he really is. We would not look at God and tell him he is worthless but yet we tell ourselves that day in and day out knowing we are made in likeness to God.

What if I told you that those intrusive thoughts were that of the Devil? The Devil does not want us to see ourselves any more than mere useless burdens. He will lie, steal, and murder to ensure we believe that we are unworthy.

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

Jesus himself called out the devil on his ability to lie to others. So why are we allowing the devil to lie to us about who we are, steal our joy and salvation, and murder our souls with his own vengeance he holds against God. We are allowing ourselves to be caught in the Devil’s trap by speaking ill upon ourselves.

“In him we have boldness and confident access through faith in him.” Ephesians 3:12

Jesus bridged the gap between us and God so that we may have the boldness, confidence, joy, and self-love that God wants us to have. Not whatever lies the devil is trying to tell you. For you are not your past but rather your present. Where you have been and what you have went through does not define who you are today. So, stop allowing the devil the privilege of defining who you are and let God define your path for you.

[rewriteyourhistorywithgod]

Jeremiah 29:11 TW Abuse

“For I know the plans I have for you. This is the Lord’s declaration. Plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeramiah 29:11 CSB

Jeramiah 29:11 has quickly become my favorite verse. I have found that it has applied through majority of my life. For if God didn’t have a plan for me, I would not have survived all that was meant to kill me.

The first attempt on my life was early on. I was roughly 6 years old. I was thrown down a set of concrete second story steps by a person who was supposed to help keep me safe, my stepfather at the time. I was hospitalized, had a seizure, and wasn’t supposed to make it. Instead, I survived. Had God not had a plan for me in accordance with Jeramiah 29:11 I would not have survived. While in not surviving I would have been saved much more pain, heartache, torture, and hatred. I also would not have experienced love, motherhood, grace, or God’s forgiveness.

“Though they intend to harm you and devise a wicked plan, they will not prevail.” Psalm 21:11 CSB

While most of my life was spent with wickedness towards me, God’s grace and protection kept me safe. I never knew how I survived just that I had. As I dive deeper and deeper into God’s words and his plan for my life, I realize it was God and God alone that kept me alive.

When I was 8, my stepfather attempted to take my life again. For I brought the wrong trashcan, and my punishment was to have my head bashed in with a hammer. Multiple strikes later and I was left unconscious on the floor in hopes of my demise. God came through for me again. He ensured I survived, and no harm had been done to me due to the evil actions of another.

The wicked plan to end my life was once again thwarted by God. God wanted me for a bigger purpose and no wicked plan would prevail against God’s plans for me and my life.

“Lord, do not grant the desires of the wicked; do not let them achieve their goals. Otherwise, they will become proud.” Psalm 140:8 CSB

The next attempt on my life was a few years later. For my crime was my brother was slapped and therefore I had to have done it. I was pinned to the ground, choked till I blacked out by a grown man of 300 pounds. He would have held me till I died but the neighbor had intervened and pulled him off of me. When I went to school the next day my 5th grade teacher who I now believe was sent into my life by God to help, had noticed my marks. He had me sit in during recess and just listened. He made careful notes and had comforted me. Upon arriving home, I was greeted by a lady who looked at my marks and had me pack a bag. I was to be whisked away to my dad’s house immediately and my brothers placed in foster care.

I would love to sit here and type out that I was loved and wanted at my dad’s house. That my story was a happily ever after and it all was just perfect from that day forward. But then I would be lying to you. I am not in the business of lying.

For I was unwanted there by my stepmom. She ensured I was miserable with untreated ear infections that left me partially deaf, extreme diets that made me sick, and extreme rules that ensured I was intentionally left out of family time and anything that didn’t involve sitting on my bed staring at the blank wall. While clearly unwanted at least I was physically safe and that at the time was better than the alternative.

When finally returned to my mother, she had left the husband she had. While I was no longer physically abused in her care, I can’t help but feel I had emotionally been neglected. Rather than help me work through my emotions she instead would drag me off to the psychiatrist for further medicine to treat what she viewed as my multiple mental problems.

The day I started high school she decided to remarry. I missed the first day of school to be forced to attend her wedding to a man I did not care for. For in my eyes, he was no better than the previous one. To say I was wrong, is nothing short of an understatement. He was exactly like the previous one. Short tempered, physically abusive, and vicious towards us kids.

One particular memory I have is on Christmas Eve. He was screaming in my mother’s face, and I stood between him and my mom and very firmly demanded he not speak to my mother like that in front of us kids. With the blink of an eye, I was on the floor with his left hand wrapped around my throat and his right hand punching my face in. While he shrieked that I cannot tell him what to do and he could kill me right now if he wanted to.

In the moment I was wishing he would and even choking out the words do it. I was highly depressed and was already at the point of wishing for my life to just be done. Instead, he let go. His blood sugar had dropped, and he needed to seek a remedy. God dropped his blood sugar so I could escape. Escape I did. I became a runaway multiple times through my teenage years. Every chance I got I was out the door whether it be I was placed in my mom and stepdad’s care, foster care, or group homes. It did not matter I ran. The streets were safer and became my home.

“Peace, I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.” John 12:27 CSB

While the world has given me brokenness, anxiety, depression, hatred, anger, and more but God has granted me peace. As I go through my story and heal of my darkest moments in my life, God restores me. He grants me peace and true unconditional love. This is the kind of love that no human can give but rather only comes from God. I am finding the peace I have longed for. The peace I spent many hours in a therapist’s office trying to obtain. Who knew all it took was God’s presence and me accepting him in my heart to not only grant me that peace, but the healing and calling my heart desired.