reyeguee-blog
I'm just gonna take you home..
Hey I'm Ryan. My life revolves around work and my girlfriend. I try my hardest to keep my emotions in, but sometimes I can't. So, if anyone needs someone to talk to, I'm here cause I understand.
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I can’t take this! I used to be a bad kid. It all started when I was 15. I started selling cocaine. Just for money at first, but of course I got addicted. I battled through it. But I learned to love it the high was amazing, the girls and money were on hand. I felt as if I was on top of the world. I went from cocaine to anything you wanted. You could have called me cocktail. On top of selling them I was doing them. At the age of 16 I told my mom I have a problem. I moved into my sisters. That didn’t change one thing though. I couldn’t let go of feeling like I’m invincible the money, that life had me clenched tighter then ever before. Age 17 living at my sisters had a girlfriend now she didn’t like any of it, so I had to hide it. Only sold marihuana and still did drugs. Age 18 this year I found out my girlfriend at the time was pregnant. Automatic first instinct was I need to make money. I went and picked up a bag of a thousand ecstasy tablets. She put up with it but saw the money and drugs not adding up SHE KNEW I WAS DOING THEM. She left me at this point in my life I felt down I weighed in at 137 pounds. I was disgusting. I decided I was going to clean up. I moved to my dads from my sisters. Worked hard slowed down on my drugs. I was still addicted. Started school , got my first truck. Taiira my ex girlfriend had a miscarriage. I feel to blame still to this day because of the stress I put her through, the lies and all the empty promises. Times were hard now I was driving I started selling again. Within my first month I got jumped. I lost my teeth and broken nose. They beat me with a crow bar well the other held my friend with a knife in the back seat. I continued though. Then I started making better money at work. I moved from the apartment I was in. Into a house now. I went up north first weekend I was at the house. I visited my brother in law. We had a life chat as par usual. I explained my problems. We went to the bar and no one would show interest in me. Dustin asked them why.they stated i was a nice guy but just to fucked up. I went home, the next night it was 3:27 am on Friday ill never forget this day my dad barged in the garage. My brother in law called him and explained I was doing 5 or more 80mg oxy cottons my dad cried and yelled. I swore from that day I would stop. I went up north locked myself in a room. All I had was a blanket water crackers and some boost. For a week I scratched wholes in my skin. I shit myself and pissed myself. I layed there freezing. I died and came back. Age 19 I worked away and partied a bit. Had fun and stayed clean. At the fergus truck show I slipped up. I did one line. I felt disgusting. Since that day I have been clean . I bought my dream truck in september :) Age 20 the day of my birthday my future wife asked me out :3 I love her dearly. She honestly is the best thing for me. She accepts me as I am and loves me for who I am. I work hard I love with my wifey :3. I have an amazing life. I just bought a tractor. I am on the right track for my career. Today my dad accused me of being a drug addict because I got a nose bleed. I have gotten nose bleeds since I was 4. I have never been more hurt. My dad accused me once before I quit working with him. I left for two weeks and then I went back. It hurts me more that people think I’m still a drug addict. I work hard to be where I am. I’m so hurt that I don’t know what to do. My dad keeps looking at me with disbelieve. I want to run away. Today is just not my day.
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