reyesnikaaa

[reyesnikaaa]

this song is one of my favorite songs on my playlist.. :)

[reyesnikaaa]

December 23,2013 I had a blast time with my sisters! We went to Rob to find a pair of shoes,then to Ayala Malls.  It was a laugh time because we are confused if where are we going to eat. So first is I bought a Chocolate Chips Frappe on Starbucks then we decided to take it out and ate on Army Navy.I just had a good time teasing my younger sister all the flaws i see on her and she cant eat thoroughly, because she can't help herself but laugh. What a great day with them! 

[reyesnikaaa]

The feeling of having an anxiety disorder.

From that time I’ve experienced being fainted in the supermarket i was traumatized with that event. It was two years ago when me and my best friend had a long walk from our school to Libra mart. It was between 2-3 pm and the sun shines so bright. When we arrived at the supermarket, I felt something that i need to drink some water to relieve my thirstiness. But that time I felt that something’s wrong; I didn’t knew that I was about to lose control. I’ve hurried up to my best friend and told her that i don’t feel good then rushed up to the counter ,but I couldn’t catch my breathe anymore. I end up sitting on the floor and my ears starting to hear a buzz of a bee and my eyes are starting to get blurred. I tried to overcome it. My best friend is behind me and the cashier asked for some help. I don’t know what’s happening to me and when they tried to get me on my feet I fell down and my head hit on the floor.

I woke up lying on a chair with my best friend standing in front of me; She looks nervous and worried. There was an ice bag in my head and the bagger boys are the ones who helped me there till I was able to feel fine. After what happened I became more aware and conscious on my meals. I feel too much worries when I cant eat my meal on time because of the thinking that It may occur again. Yet after a months later that feeling had gone.

I thought i will never feel that extreme worries again till I knew that I have hyperacidity. It was just last year when i knew that I am hyper acidic. I can’t explain how it feels but I feel too weak and dizzy when it attacks. I dunno if its just a stomach cramps or just stomach upset but it causes nausea. The doctor said that it may fall down into gastritis or ulcer so she prescribed me a medicine and she listed down a lot of foods and drinks that I should not take. My worries came back from then. Though I eat my meal on time everyday I have this feeling that “what if I will lose out of control”, “what if I’ll get fainted again”, “what if I couldn’t catch my breathe and lose my sight” those are just few things that pops into my mind. Again, I was able to conquer it for a couple of months until the day I got fainted again. I accidentally cut my pointed finger with a knife. Too much nervousness i guess, I just fell down on the floor because the blood wouldn’t just stop. I was in the house that time and I was about to cook pancakes. My sister wasn’t able to catch me in the time when i was to fall down. She was shocked as my head hit the floor and i was in alternate consciousness of mind. My world had stp for I can’t even think, all i can see is darkness. I think i was electrified because I cant move. I know that my sister tries to help to stand up and put me in the sofa but I think i was frozen till I gain my consciousness. Then I started to cry and speak out “Oh what happened? It feels so bad I dunno. I think I’ve just died for a few seconds till my soul got back to my body. I feel so dreadful, what was just happened?” Then my grandma rushed up to me— put a herbal plant to my pointed finger then tied it up with a clean clothe.  I was full of tension, my head aches. Another ice bag put on my head. Then I fell asleep.

We went to the doctor and she told me that It was only due to fear of losing a big amount of blood. But my grandma is really worried about me and she insisted that I should have gone through a blood test. Right after that day I had undergone through a blood test and the result is…… NORMAL. I have nothing to worry about yet my anxiety triggered again. It wasn’t my last after all.  After 3mo’s I’ve experienced it again. It was our physical chem class in the 3rd floor of Mendel hall, my stomach is half empty because our class is 730 and I had a rush hour—all i ate for breakfast is two slices of bread. I didn’t expect that things might happen the same way twice. From that time till now my anxiety became worst. From that on I’ve discovered that i have anxiety disorder. It is a psychological condition which causes you to worry a lot.

The feeling is really weird when it attacks. I just want to cry out and ask for help coz it triggers a lot and I can’t even conquer it by just telling myself “You’ll be fine; Nothing will happen.” Its really difficult to handle. Its hard to live each day when all you do is to worry of something that you might be in danger. That’s what it feels. My thoughts are exaggerating my feelings. I think this would make me insane.  Nevertheless, I try to wake up myself and fool my thoughts that those imaginary scenes I visualize in my mind will not happen.

Now, Im trying to distract myself.. Im trying to heal myself rather. Because I believe that its only I who can break this suffering I have. Prayer is the best way to divert my thoughts and I know that with these pain and suffering I have, I will find the Lord and I believe that He will carry me both of his hands to help me pass through my struggle.

[reyesnikaaa]

Dec.18,2013 Jessey De Leon's Birthday.. I was so happy when she had receive my gift a day before her Birthday and she posted this on her ig account. I felt so overwhelmed with her words.. She is really appreciative indeed. Efforts of mine are quite worth it all. Im not looking forward to be really someone to her because im contented as a fan and she never treated me as her fan only. She really deserves everything as what her mom said. I feel so blessed coz all of my dreams came true and still fulfilling. TYL Lord.

[reyesnikaaa]

Dec.17,2013 one of my best days ever! Im so happy to be recognized by my idol.. Jz thank you Lord.. im so happy and blessed. :) she just followed me

[reyesnikaaa]

We are so cuuute here @moonickel pero Banks? What happened? PANNNNY Hahaha parang kailan lang to ah hahahaha Boom tboom buli mo ga lagom natuslok ssang dagum hahaha 😂😁 😄😄😄 #ThrowbackThursday #BullyMode ©lors

[reyesnikaaa]

Malalamin natin to bukas.. haha @jesseydeleon @reyesmikaaa Go BF!!! :)) #DLSUST

[reyesnikaaa]

Fatunay is ❤

[reyesnikaaa]

Childhood Memories

So much of our early gladness vanishes utterly from our memory: we can never recall the joy with which we laid our heads on our mother’s bosom or rode on our father’s back in childhood; doubtless that joy is wrought up into our nature, as the sunlight of long-past mornings is wrought up in the soft mellowness of the apricot; but it is gone forever from our imagination, and we can only believe in the joy of childhood. We are assigned by our professor to make a biography since we were born, and now I’m having a hard time to recall what happened in my childhood days.             July 17, 1995 when I was born by my mom named Luciline B. Tribaco in the Sanitarium Hospital, Bacolod City. She named me “Nikka Zorraine T. Reyes”, my second name was given to me by my aunties, unique isn’t it? I don’t know what happened during my infancy stage so let’s fast forward. I could still remember when I was 3 years old I guess or 4? I’m not that sure,  but I asked my mom about my infancy stage, she told me that I fell down from my bed but I was saved by my pillow and she had thought that my guardian angel is really guiding me. My mom is a religious person, every time I get scared, she used to tell me stories from the bible and I really love listening to her because it inverts my mind not to fear from ghosts or something. I remembered the time when it was already between 8:00-9:00 in the evening my mom asked me to get something from my Grandma’s house. We are in one compound so their house is few meters away from ours. We have only bulb wire fence that time and the back of our house is creepy and spooky because there is a bewildered Tamarind Tree beneath it. As I was passing by I’d  never thought that I will saw a black man who is very tall and it’s eyes was red with tobacco on its hand; I had goose bumps and I ran back towards our home crying, moaning, and shouting “Mama may kapre!” ‘Coz what I saw was really frightening. But this experience only happened once though I’ve heard a lot of stories from my grandma, uncle, and aunties ‘coz their experience was worse than mine. That time also “Aswang” is really a hot topic in our place; they named that creature “Maria Labo” ‘coz she has a scar on her face. She came from a different barrio and she came up into our place; that’s why all the children by 6:00 pm was already inside their houses and even adults also got scared; so by that time our town was already peaceful and quiet. I’ve heard a lot of stories that the intestines, liver are being eaten by that creature and most of her victim are babies and young ones. So when I and my sister used to fight that time we are being told that stories so that we’ll get scared and they will have a temporary peace and wellness in the surrounding. Let’s have a short fast break, when my younger sister was born in Sanitarium hospital I and my auntie visited my mom, I had an ADHD as I was 4 years of age, so I never keep still in a certain place. I went out in the room and explore the hospital: testing myself if I could still find our room when I get back. But unluckily I wasn’t able to remember the room I had left and I was just crying and talking “Mama ko ya.. Tita ko ya? Huhuhuhu.” And I had seen by a doctor then he asked me, “Diin imo nanay?” I respond while crying, “Wala ko kabalo,nadula ko.” The doctor asked me again, “Diin ka gaistar?” I answered him, “Sa Calong-Calong Airport Subdivision Idul.ong ko ya.” Then he tries to calm me down, then my Aunt saw me talking to him, I saw my aunt either so I was in a moment of joy that time and I rush towards my auntie and embraced her tight.  My aunt Diding is the one who sends me to school and I used to cry whenever I lose my sight to her. I can still remember that I’m really studious that time; I do my assignments right after when we get home then after that she lets me play and take a nap in the afternoon. I have grown up with my parents but they’re too busy because of their work. That’s why it’s my aunties who took care of me ‘coz most of them are spinsters. My aunt Tata is the one who’s taking care of me when I was young. In fact I seldom sleep with my mom because I sleep with her every night. When she was bound to go in Manila to pursue her teaching; I was really sad and missed her a lot. She told me that, I call her every time I look for her and she’s just crying while talking to me on the phone. She said that “taga mag tawag ka sakon Nik daw maano ko mapuli mo.” I was so touch when she said those words. I really appreciated the love she gave to me till now.  All of them are proud of me because I really do well in my academics. I remember that time when I joined a singing contest we prepared for two weeks or a month I think, and it turned out to be a very memorable experience. I’d practiced my song piece “Paper Roses” sung by Jolina Magdangal and I have my Aunties who were also my solid supporters that brought me a minus one so that I could really sing it well. When the time of the contest came, by the way I have 6 aunties and 4 uncles; All of them plus my parents and grandparents went to support and they really rode on a taxi (Taxi is a little bit expensive during those days) to support me. There were 5 contestants and I was in a shock that time thinking that I will stand in front of a large crowd.  When we came up into the stage I was in a bit of “Oh no” and I grabbed the arm of my Aunt Diding because I don’t want to go up in the stage. And so, she has nothing to do but come up along with me. When it was my turn to sing, I have the mic but that time I was in doubt and I really feel ashamed because I have seen the faces of the people smiling like an evil staring at me, so I put down the mic on the stage and ran away towards my family. They’re all disappointed thinking that I didn’t sing. But they have not resisted my cuteness so we still ended up eating in Jollibee (eating in a Jollibee that time is a big deal LOL). My craziness didn’t end up with that incident, she told me also that whenever I can’t understand the lesson or assignment assigned to us by our teacher; I used to knock my head with my notebook and tell myself “ay kamango sakon! Kamango sakon indi ko kabalo!” I don’t know why I feel so dumb but as I have said craziness runs with our blood. There was also a time when my Aunt Diding reprimanded me because I want her to buy me ice cream ,but I never ate the ice cream she bought me and our money was enough only for our fare. We were riding on a Jeepney that time and the passengers just staring at me while the ice cream is melting in my hand. When she told me this I really wonder why she can’t stop laughing, well she’s also reminiscing those days. J Anyway, I graduated with flying colours during my pre-school, indeed I was awarded as first honourable mention.  My graduation day was also memorable, my aunt is complaining that’s she is tired coming up to stage again and again to receive my awards and gave it to me. My mom was late that time and my other aunties have their work so my Aunt Diding is really the one who backs me up and the one who’s really taking care of me when my parents are not around. Although when I was 2-3 years old my Aunt Tata is the one who borrows me from my parents and took care of me mostly during those days. Light bulb! I just remembered something silly during my kinder days. There was a time when my Aunt Diding and I are on our way home; in our way there was wide stagnant water and she told me to avoid that big hole and go sideways instead. But I was a bull-headed so I did stomp my feet and walk through that circle to try how it feels if my shoes gets wet and what my Aunt will do if I’ll disobey her. Guess what? She scold me and slapped me on my butt and pinched me on my ear (ouch huhu) I was crying till we got home. I remembered also my friend named Jonel or Jomel, (pfft) I already forgot his name but his face? Hmmm I can still remember it.  He’s my classmate and my Auntie and his mom is very close. We play together after recess but when we got up to kinder he was left behind because I was accelerated to prep and he’s still in kinder 2. I have also my close friend named Karina and she was my best bud during those days. My aunt and her Lola bond a lot though I do not know if her Lola is still alive as of now. Anyways, let me tell you what kind of dad I have; my dad is really alcoholic and used to smoke during my younger days, I am very happy every time he gets home and he brought us Dunkin Donuts or anything for us. But on the other side he sometimes act insanely that when he gets home he tries to mess up everything he sees, he used to shout my mom and they fight hard and I and my sister got scared so all we do is to rush up in our grandma’s house and tell them “Ta, gaaway sila Mama kag papa.” And our aunties will only tell us to stay in their house and we just standby their till we hear nothing from our house. There was also a time when my mom almost lost her mind or almost got crazy because she had a nervous breakdown—- and this is all because of my Dad coz every time he gets home he shouts. That time my aunties and grandparents took us away from our dad, ‘coz of what happened. There was also a critical point in our life when we rushed up my mom in the hospital ‘coz she was already hallucinating and give us her final goodbye’s: that time I really prayed hard to the Lord despite of being young and can’t fully understand what’s really happening that time but that’s what my Auntie’s told me… PRAY and that’s what I did. I prayed to the Lord to extend my mom’s life, I prayed to him that he won’t let us grow up without a mom beside us. I prayed to him sincerely and so he answered my prayer. From that time my dad had changed a little, he talked to my grandparents and got us back to our house. Whenever he gets home he bonds with us though he is still temperamental. I will never forget the time when he gets drunk he lets me sing along with him his favourite songs. From then on, Airsupply, Beegees, Carpenters, Engelbert and Frank Sinatra’s song used to be my favourite genre every time we had a karaoke. Let me share the lyrics of one of my favourite song of Engelbert Humperdinck entitled “Ten Guitars”: “I have a band of men and all they do is play for me  They come from miles around to hear them play a melody  Beneath the stars my ten guitars will play a song for you  And if you’re with the one you love this is what you do 

Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitars  And very soon you know just where you are  Through the eyes of love you see a thousand stars  When you dance, dance, dance, to my ten guitars Guitars are made for love my band of men will always say  So give each one a pretty girl and they will start to play  Beneath the stars my ten guitars will play a song for you  And if you’re with the one you love this is what to do 

Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitars  And very soon you know just where you are  Through the eyes of love you see a thousand stars  When you dance, dance, dance, to my ten guitars  “

I could also remember the naughty things I’ve done when I was a kid. I used to play in the vacant lot of my cousins (in the side of my father) coz their house is only next to us; they have an Indian mango tree in their lot and we used to climb, hung up ourselves on its branch and swing our body to it. I’ve tried it many times but there was a moment when I took a high jump to reach the branch, I got its branch but my hands lose a grip so I fell down on the ground and almost banged up my head.  Our neighbour ran towards me and helped me to get back on my feet; my nose was bleeding then I saw my Aunt Tata heading towards us with an angry face. She helped me, but she was tongue-lashing and hit me with a stick till we have reached home. Well, I can’t do anything but to cry and endure the pain ‘coz it damn hurts! There was also a time when my tantrums attacked; we are about to get home from downtown, and I really want to ride on a taxi but my mom doesn’t want to. So, I’ve cried a lot and said to her, “masakay ko ya sa taxi,masakay ko ya sa taxi!” But she never listened to me so we rode on a jeepney. I wild and cried a lot till we get home: the term in our dialect is called “MAOY” so my mom didn’t mind and I just left on the ground crying. After 30 minutes or less, they were not able to resist me, so my mom dragged me and we’ve commute till we had reached the nearest gasoline station and waited there for the taxi. Finally, we’ve got one and rode on it then my mom told me, “Te? Okay kana? Kalain gid ulo simo nga bata.” Crazy isn’t it? Well, it runs with the blood. (haha LOL).

 I was four years old when my mom gave birth to my younger sister, that’s the time when my mom had a divided attention to me. I never thought that being in the middle would be difficult for I felt being ignored. Yet as time goes by I were able to understand that I was not took for granted after all. My mom always told us not to fight because we are loved equally; we had given enough attention since we had our own each time. She means that, from the time we were born we had already given enough time and attention. I and my sister been through a lot of arguments, yet by the end of the day we still ended up hugging each other ‘coz we share the same bed. Why ended up hugging? ‘Coz we are scared. (hihi)  At times, my mom would lay down beside us and I hug her tight till I fell asleep. I and my sister used to go in a Sunday school together it’s not actually a school, it was just a house few meters away from ours. We sing and praise songs of God along with the other children. We used to fight every day and when my mom gets home we were already afraid to approach her, because for sure!, we will be blown up ‘coz she’ll smite us with a stick, hanger, or belt. That’s why, before she gets home, we try to sleep though it’s not sleeping hours so that we won’t be scolded.

My childhood won’t be also complete without Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Hansel and Gretel etc. They made my childhood colourful and meaningful. I became addicted also in brick games and game box, but I really not fond of hi-tech toys that time. I’m fonder in playing “Tumbang Preso”, “Tagu-taguan”, “Piko”, “Ps-Ps”, “langit-lupa Impyerno”,“Dr. Quack2x” ,”Nanay TAtay” and many more. Those games are way more fun than what the world offers right now. My playmates were my sister’s friend we play “Unders” and even though I’m not in line with their age they still let me to join the game but I’m just “Pasi” it’s like you are free of the charges on whatever the consequence is set to the game. I had playmates, I had companions; in my days of childhood, in my joyful school days_ yet some of that old familiar faces just faded away. There were still people whom I had met when I was a kid, but I can’t remember their names, the things we have done and sadly their faces. Maybe one day, we’ll meet as strangers again but those days with them seem so meaningful ‘Coz I could still has some flashback of our conversation of that so call yesterday, yet I really can’t remember anything from them. Chocolate was my first luxury; it has so many things wrapped in it. That sweetness you had taste in the moment of childhood memories and that grin inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good. Childhood is the most beautiful of all life’s season. The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give.

[reyesnikaaa]

Loving these girls so much.. ❤ Have a good day everyone! #ChE3

[reyesnikaaa]

Don't dare miss the action! :) #UAAP76

[reyesnikaaa]

Walls are closing in and I hit the ground. #UmagangKayDrama

[reyesnikaaa]

[reyesnikaaa]

Tbt.. Ati-Atihan.. in Kalibo,Aklan. #WildLife hihi 😁 #LLE

[reyesnikaaa]

You'll have our support Jz @jesseydeleon ! We'll do every thing to make you feel that we are your solid fans here in BCD! Goodluck for UAAP76..We may not be part of the crowd but we'll cheer for you in front of the TELIVISION. Hahaha 🐯 #Roar #GoodLuckLT © Jz babes

[reyesnikaaa]

@reyesmikaaa epic yung posing ng naka blue hihi :)) © @abs_cbnsports #MikaReyes

[reyesnikaaa]

HELLO FO'S Goodevening hihi @carmelaloo08 @vsgalang :)