reyneclaw

[reyneclaw]

[reyneclaw]

november 23, 2020

i could fall in love with an essay but hardly anyone would read it and enjoy it. would you read a literary comparison between Christopher Marlowe's Doctor Faustus and Herman Hesse's Demian?

[reyneclaw]

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

[reyneclaw]

...

'if i were you'... okay, this one might come off as ableist possibly, but i do sometimes think in terms of performance. it's now how you look, it's what you could do with that body (imagine the weights). if i were him... he's really thin though, idk, doesn't seem to be the type who'd be interested in working out, but if i were him... a pp is a pp (nice to have one i fucking guess), but 'how much do you lift' looks more relevant. for me lol, not for him. nah, it's totally possible to... achieve everything i'm thinking of if you're a cis woman, no judgement here, but...

i wishhh *eats a cookie*

[reyneclaw]

also is it okay to... omg that's definitely more appropriate for adults

is it okay to be bi-curious if this term doesn't sound offensive (couldn't think of a better description)?

there's a (cis) guy, i've seen his nudes (nevermind, it doesn't Mean anything serious, we both think a human body is just that, a human body, nothing special), and... ummm no thanks, no, i wouldn't really do this, it feels very very uncomfortable and weird, but i feel Something, and i guess it's more along the lines of 'damn it, wish i had the same parts' than any (yikes) attraction. i sure wish...

and i guess we're not staying together with J. not because of anyone else. we were younger, we had a war to cope with, now it's old and stale.

[reyneclaw]

@ all mutuals do you think i have the right to stay in spb/ that it's a good idea / that im allowed to not pursue a master's degree if it turns out to be too hard? (not academically, just a lot of paperwork and stress and mental health issues)

[reyneclaw]

AxJ though...

i definitely want to have at least one intimate scene for them because why not, im 24, who could tell me not to. because for them, it's a meaningful part of their relationship (even though he's - Laura would say this in a typical exasperated tone - you know, he has some... religious issues with that, but come on you can't stay celibate around someone such as her if you're not ace), and also because... i envy him. imagine being born cis and growing to this height. imagine the possibilities. lol.

[reyneclaw]

tfw you're in the mood to write smut but your brain is still like 'no writing, only whining'

and it's still only AxJ. AxT...i know it's canon, they started dating, pretty soon after she got to know him, they moved in together (she wouldn't want to live with her parents, besides, there might have been some security reasons, as her parents are pretty rich, more so than T, and they might raise suspicions). Still i...can imagine it, but this couple... isn't a ship you'd want to ship, they're both fascists, they bonded over this, and that's it, if they had feelings for each other or if they had sex, that's natural and understandable, 'some fascists are people' but it's disgusting.

anyway im decidely Not Writing. What i wanted to write was this conversation, Alicia telling him about barely surviving an air raid, it's the same day, she's frightened as hell, she's only just starting to realize, to come to terms with it...and him, at what point does he start listening? and more importantly, as she asked (yelled tbh) where has he been? in the literal geographic sense, did he..was he...in any danger? wow, that woman actually cares about someone she doesn't see as her lifelong partner. neat.

[reyneclaw]

It's not your job to be likable; it's not your job to go around fixing the lies that were told about you. Don't clear up anything. Let people be wrong about you. Ignorance is bliss. Your only job is to be yourself, and the right people will gravitate towards you.

[reyneclaw]

I love Twitter bc everyone is dumb

[reyneclaw]

When people asks questions like “Do trans men hold privilege over cis women” all i can think of is that post where op says “this is how you all think privilege works” and its a pokemon damage type effectiveness chart

[reyneclaw]

[reyneclaw]

how to study with a mental illness!!!! aka a guide to simultaneously caring for yourself and your academics

(disclaimer: this is from purely personal experience and is not a substitute for seeking professional help. these are just personal tips as i was formally diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the third year of college, but had been showing symptoms even in high school. different methods help for different people, but i really hope some of these things can help a struggling student out, because one of the reasons i went on studyblr in the first place was that i felt really lost and anxious.)

1. done is better than none. sometimes an assignment you have to turn in would be objectively easy to complete, but it takes longer to do so because you’re afraid that the final product won’t be as good as you want it to be, or as good as a professor expects it to be. it’s hard to remove those expectations, but it is a little easier when you remember that getting some points (no matter how many they are) are better than getting a deduction for late submissions or not turning in the project at all. many people – including myself – suffer from perfectionism in university, but it is overall more important to complete something to the best of your own ability, and learn from the feedback on the project later on. more importantly, often, you’re doing better than you think you’re doing, so surprise yourself. you can do it. just start.  2.  keep careful track of your deadlines.  much of my undergrad anxiety came from the fact that i knew something was due, but couldn’t keep track of it, or didn’t want to confront it. it’s better to confront it because you have more time to do it slowly and thoroughly. as soon as you hear about an impending exam or paper deadline, keep track of it. personally, i use google calendar. from there, you can make smaller plans and break down your goals to make it more doable! 3. don’t be afraid to ask for help.  there used to be a huge stigma against mental illness, but thankfully, many educational institutions are much kinder and more considerate about it. if you really can’t meet a deadline or come to class, let your professor know. most professors are kind, reasonable people who genuinely care about you and your well-being. even one of my scariest professors granted extensions to a girl who was genuinely struggling with serious depression, and the college of law i’m in takes mental health very seriously to the point that they instruct faculty how to deal with such cases.  if you’re not able to talk to a professor, try to ask help from a classmate or a friend who can share notes or fill you in on how they accomplished a certain assignment. many people will be happy to help. you are not a burden, love. 4. be kinder to yourself.  mental illness is like any illness. it often keeps us from doing as well as we’d like to be because it’s a genuine and serious health problem. sometimes it helps to keep this in mind when we flub a report in class (as i did several tens of times in undergrad), get a bad score, say something ridiculous during recitation, or mess up a paper. it’s okay to do your best while you heal. you know you’re trying your best, and slow growth is still growth. 5. on that note, care for your other needs.  one of my happiest and most fulfilled semesters (even though it was my busiest) was when i had time to see a psychiatrist, run, pack lunches and fruit to school to eat healthy, and have a reasonable-ish sleep schedule. this was during my thesis semester. while i had to take an incomplete, and finish my thesis the next sem, because i was attending to my own needs, i felt like a living, breathing, learning, happy person. and i finished my thesis the next semester. it’s better to look after your own physical health and needs before your academics. 6. sometimes, it’s better to do nothing and rest. you deserve it.  part of the reason i’d been doing horribly in law school was that i didn’t sleep and it was making me mildly unbalanced and incredibly suicidal; not to mention the fact that i wasn’t really retaining any information or performing well. rest days are just as important as days when you study because rest IS productivity.  7. take your meds. see your psych or therapist if you have one. avail yourself of mental health services on campus if there are any. these genuinely saved my life at a time that i thought i was beyond saving. please go seek help if you can.  BONUS: MY STUDY SETUP ON A TERRIBLE MENTAL HEALTH DAY (like today) - i try to clear the space and clean up as much as possible. it makes me feel like i have things under control, and have my work things where i can see them. - i eat something healthy, like fruit, and get a lot of water. i keep a water jug on my desk because it clears my thoughts and helps me replenish the fluids lost from crying (1/2jk). it also really keeps up my strength for the study process. - i turn on a calming playlist, like a jazz or lofi or ghibli playlist. in another window, i turn on a rain sound video on a softer volume, and it helps center me. - it helps when you have a soft or calming scent to calm you down. i use a lavender room spray, and it makes me feel cozy and productive, but in undergrad, i used this tea-tree lavender mix and it smelled like sunny afternoons and guitar coffeshop playlists. it really is nice. - there are breathing exercises and gifs all over the internet. they help calm you down when things seem Too Much.  i really hope this helps, guys. don’t hesitate to message me if you’ve been having a hard time with school or life or anything. please, please care for yourselves. you can do it.  – sam

[reyneclaw]

cat in a box.

[reyneclaw]

here’s to anyone who can barely get out of bed in the morning because they’re struggling so deeply. im so proud of you for still being here. here’s to those who don’t feel valid enough because their head is mean, or their friends have experienced worse or they’re fighting all their battles silently. you are so goddamn valid, no matter what. your struggles and feelings are valid and what you’re going through is awful but you are so much stronger than you know. here’s to those who have no energy to look after themselves and still let their friends vent and ask for advice and seek help from them. baby you’re so kind and so sefless but please try and remember to show yourself some of that love and care as well because your body and your mind deserves it. here’s to those who are recovering and healing and coping better than ever. i am so insanely proud of you and so happy for you. you deserve to heal and recover. here’s to those who feel like theyll never reach that point. i promise you, you will. you will find ways to start healing and growing and things will get easier for you. here’s to those who have been close to giving up so many times but are still here. i love you and i am so glad you’re still here. you deserve love and happiness and kindness and i truly hope you see that soon. here’s to those who didn’t think they’d make it this far. look at yourself lovely. you’ve conquered everything you didn’t think you’d be able to conquer. you’re incredible. here’s to absolutely everyone fighting battles right now and going through a rough time. i have so much faith in you love. you *can* do this. i know it can get so overwhelming but you’ve got this. it will be so worth pushing through in the end. here’s to you.

[reyneclaw]

Dani was among the people from Madrid (the capital city of Spain) who took the streets in October 16th 2019 to protest against the unfair judicial sentence that sent Catalan activists and politicians to jail for being pro-independence.

While the protests in Catalonia were being brutally repressed by police, in Madrid the police beat those Spanish people who had dared to stand with the Catalan people too. In Madrid they arrested 4 people, and 3 of them were freed after what they described as “humiliations from the police, mockery, commentaries and veiled threats”, but Dani was not released.

Dani was arrested and accused of having hit a policeman with a wooden stick. However, the medical report presented by the police was signed two hours before this supposedly happened and in a different place. Even though Dani doesn’t have any criminal record and there are no proofs nor witnesses of what the police accuse him of, he has been in preventive jail for 7 months and now the Prosecution Ministry of the Spanish government is now asking for 6 years of jail and a fine of 3000€.

SOLIDARITY WITH CATALONIA SHOULD NOT BE A CRIME!

Our eternal gratitude is with those who have taken a stand in favour of our fight for freedom and against the political persecution of Catalan independentists, the police brutality against Catalan protestors and the arbitrary imprisonment of Catalan activists and protestors.

Dani was arbitrarily taken as a collective punishment, an example to show that the Spanish police are ready to go after, not only Catalans themselves, but also anyone who gives us their support.

[reyneclaw]