rhapsodosage

[rhapsodosage]

STARTERS INSPIRED BY JOHANNA ROSE'S 'LUNAR ECLIPSE' ALBUM.

❛ i was so busy loving you i never noticed you changed. ❜

❛ i was so busy drinking i didn't notice you changed. ❜

❛ and i faded. ❜

❛ i live between victim and blame. ❜

❛ i miss you, my lonely friend. ❜

❛ a shot of whiskey kicked to the floor. ❜

❛ i want you to unbreak what you broke. ❜

❛ if i can't trust my heart, i can't trust myself and sure as hell can't trust you. ❜

❛ silhouettes on the walls, singing out of tune. ❜

❛ it's no good - it's falling apart. ❜

❛ love, how you made me a fool. ❜

❛ running around looking for you. ❜

❛ how i see myself through you. ❜

❛ how you know my every move. ❜

❛ love, how i knew just what to do with you. ❜

❛ take your coffee in the garden. ❜

❛ forget who you are. ❜

❛ on the bed stand below the window. ❜

❛ how sweet the fool love has made of me and you. ❜

❛ would you stay with me? ❜

❛ the water holds you bound to the secrets you live under. ❜

❛ i'm always sad. i was born like that ❜

❛ the world is ending again. ❜

❛ how do we pretend? ❜

❛ they're shutting down this town. ❜

❛ would you do it again? ❜

❛ could you stand the thirst, the hunger? ❜

❛ would you hold my hand? ❜

❛ the morning light finds me how it finds us all. ❜

❛ where should we go? ❜

❛ is there somewhere we can stay? ❜

❛ listen to the cello play. ❜

❛ i forgive myself. ❜

❛ look for me in the sky when i'm gone. ❜

❛ breathe me in at dawn with your cigarette. ❜

❛ hear my voice soothe you in your sorrows. ❜

❛ forgive me for the time i borrowed. ❜

❛ i was just a kid, i hadn't died yet. ❜

❛ thought i could outlive the ride i bet on. ❜

❛ i hated leaving you. ❜

❛ i hated how it all happened. ❜

❛ love me longer than my life lasts. ❜

❛ be sure not to cry more than i made you laugh. ❜

❛ i cried for help, you never came. ❜

❛ i was born, and i fucking tried. ❜

[rhapsodosage]

you have a wound that will never heal? me too! actually it's gradually widening and expanding, consuming more of me with each passing day [props my chin in my hands and smiles at you] at what point do you think i'll become the wound itself and not simply the bearer?

[rhapsodosage]

i remember learning the word melancholy at age 7 or something and thinking oh this word's gonna be huge for me

[rhapsodosage]

if anyone is curious about the vision i have in my head for gen.... check this stuff out. i've been working very hard on my pinterest board and my playlist for her. take a peek into my mind palace...

[rhapsodosage]

stayed at fox’s place for one (1) night and we started discussing genseph royalty au political marriage . and thats me fucked now forever i think

[rhapsodosage]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊.    (  a collection of various  location prompts centered around time & weather.  feel free to adjust as desired.  )

[ 1AM ] the stoop of a brightly lit psychic shop, pondering haven from the rain. [ 2AM ] the [ lobby / room ] of a run-down motel during a tumultuous storm. [ 3AM ] a dark graveyard thick with petrichor, well beyond visiting hours. [ 4AM ] an empty, rusty gas station nearly flooding with rainwater. [ 5AM ] a cabin in the frozen woods, large fire raging under the hearth. [ 6AM ] a bus stop hazily lit by the rising sun, earth smelling of petrichor. [ 7AM ] a crowded coffee shop, patrons in a rush to escape the morning rain. [ 8AM ] a serene camping site overlooking a valley, air humid & fresh. [ 9AM ] a diner smelling of breakfast food as rain patters on the window. [ 10AM ] a walled-in garden full of flowers, just as the afternoon heat sets in. [ 11AM ] an empty public playground, equipment hot from the sun. [ 12PM ] the middle of a sweltering outdoors shopping center. [ 1PM ] the side of the highway after your car breaks down from the heat. [ 2PM ] a bustling farmer's market ripe with produce, unhindered by the rain. [ 3PM ] a city sidewalk gloomy with mist & countless puddles. [ 4PM ] the forested perimeter of a vast lake, cold from snow melt. [ 5PM ] a [ restaurant / diner ], interior lights flickering under a fierce storm. [ 6PM ] a car interior, passengers stuck on a dangerously snowy & dark road. [ 7PM ] an outdoors event as the heat backs off, full of laughter & live music. [ 8PM ] the long queue of a club, impatient patrons stuck in the rain. [ 9PM ] the threshold of an apartment, knocking to be let out of the hailstorm. [ 10PM ] a windy beach past public hours, grains of sand mimicking the stars. [ 11PM ] the backseat of a car parked in the pouring rain on a lonely road. [ 12AM ] a pier on the cold, misty waterfront as fireworks are let off.

[rhapsodosage]

        ANGER   WAS   :                                  BETTER   THAN   TEARS                                     BETTER   THAN   GRIEF                                     BETTER   THAN   GUILT

[rhapsodosage]

*

jennifer willoughby, the sun is still a part of me

[rhapsodosage]

[rhapsodosage]

🕯️ + 🐾

🕯️ — what memory do they replay when they’re alone ?

post-canon, all genesis does is replay memories. there isn't much else to do when you live in a ghost town. the only way to see the people you love is to look backwards.

he tries to think of good things - the bright, happy memories from childhood. running around banora with the carefree nature of a child who's never known struggle. she thinks of the early days of SOLDIER, all cracked smiles and comradery and laughing behind their hands. she thinks of angeal and sephiroth, and goddess, even the puppy from time to time.

but the scum always rises to the top. the bad shit leaks through the cracks, no matter how hard she tries to push it down. the memory he replays the most is the day it all went wrong. if she concentrates, it's like she's back there. he can hear the faint electric hum of the VR system, can feel the blood rushing in her ears. the anger that overtook her that day still lies dormant in her veins, a burning envy he's never quite managed to shake. that gods-forsaken shard of steel from angeal's sword still stings, even long since removed by hollander's hand. she replays the moment of impact over and over, wondering. was there anything he could have done? could he have avoided it, or simply postponed the inevitable? what if she'd dodged at just the right moment? what if angeal hadn't stepped between them? what if he had won the fight? or what if sephiroth had dealt the final blow?

what if what if what if what if what if what if what if what if —

she knows it isn't worth thinking about. that doesn't stop her.

🐾 — do animals like them instinctively ?

animals don't find themselves drawn to genesis - he's not having any snow white moments or anything - but they do like her when they meet her. he's not an animal lover by nature, he's relatively neutral on them. except for dogs. she's not a fan of dogs. they're too big, loud, and dirty. just quite overwhelming. unfortunately, dogs seem to like her.

in essence, animals seemed to like genesis because he's indifferent to them and doesn't fuss over them. very much like the dad who never wanted a pet.

there was a shift once degradation started. they kept their distance. dogs barked, and cats would puff and hiss. genesis wondered if they could smell the rot.

[rhapsodosage]

[ 📜 ]ㅤ is there a story they love sharing with others ?

hell yeah there is, it's called LOVELESS and-- [ the crowd begins to throw tomatoes and i am forcibly removed from the stage ]

genesis has always been a born storyteller. she has a way with words, the ability to weave them together in just the right way to leave people spellbound. it's her favourite type of conversation - one where he's completely in charge. he relishes the performance of it all, but most of all, loves the way people react. she basks in the warmth of an enraptured audience like a well-fed cat in the sun.

to her core, she's a prideful creature. to tell a story that makes him look bad would feel like swallowing glass. so, when she talks, she talks about her achievements. he tells the story of how she made First -- how he dragged himself through the dirt in Wutai, threw great plumes of fire for miles until there was nobody left standing. how she returned to base camp charred and bleeding yet triumphant still, how the smell of smoke and burning flesh followed her for days. after a certain point, she couldn't tell if it was the enemy's or hers. he boasts about the smug look he gave sephiroth when she learned they were finally on the same level.

(what she doesn't say, is that angeal made First about a month before she did. and that she pushed herself to his breaking point in a desperate effort to prove she was worth just as much as he was -- if not more.)

there are other stories to tell, often at the expense of others: when she convinced sephiroth to take a sip of alcohol for the first time, and the silver general had made a face unlike anything genesis had ever seen on another person. the time an over-eager teenage angeal had dragged him into going chocobo riding, and, as some kind of divine punishment perhaps, the bird had reared back and kicked angeal right where it hurt. that one always made her smile.

[rhapsodosage]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[rhapsodosage]

#1 crush. vent doodle

edit:

please help me replace my broken refrigerator, if you can spare anything and like my art here it means a lot.

[rhapsodosage]

“Have you ever considered angels, Burakh? An angel is a nightmare. Their purpose is to instill primal, oppressive horror. I think if angels existed, they’d resemble a divine pillar of light — from the heavens to the earth. Devoid of anything remotely human.”

— The Bachelor, Pathologic 2

[rhapsodosage]

hard fall (x, x)

[rhapsodosage]

༘⋆｡ stirring the pot starters

a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!

you  weren't  supposed  to  hear  that.

don't  look  at  me  like  i'm  the  only  one  lying.

want  to  tell  them,  or  should  i?

you  think  i  don't  know  what  you  did?

i've  hit  people  for  less.

oh,  i  thought  you  already  knew.

that's  funny,  you  didn't  say  that  last  night.

say  that  again.  i  dare  you.

you  wanna  talk  about  loyalty?

no  offense,  but  if  you're  the  last  to  know,  that's  on  you.

go  ahead  -  pretend  like  it  wasn't  your  idea!

they  deserve  to  know  the  truth.

you  didn't  hear  this  from  me,  but  -

oh,  so  now  you  care?

don't  flatter  yourself.  you  were  just  convenient.

you  crossed  a  line.

we  had  bets  on  how  long  it  would  last.

it's  not  even  a  secret  anymore.

you  don't  get  to  cry  about  it  now.

touch  me  again  and  see  what  happens.

say  it  again.  louder  this  time.

you  really  thought  nobody  would  find  out?

don't  act  so  innocent.

okay,  but  am  i  the  villain  for  laughing?

tell  me  who  else  knows.  right  now.

this  whole  time,  and  you  didn't  say  a  word?

don't  act  brave  now.

you're  really  gonna  do  this  here?

it  wasn't  supposed  to  get  this  far!

you  can't  rewrite  history.

oh,  i'd  never  say  it  to  their  faces.

it  was  supposed  to  stay  between  us.

we're  all  thinking  it,  i  just  said  it.

you're  not  as  untouchable  as  you  act.

do  you  even  feel  guilty?

they  warned  me  about  you.

go  ahead,  make  it  worse.

if  you  repeat  this,  i'll  deny  everything.

the  next  thing  out  of  your  mouth  better  be  an  apology.

you're  about  three  seconds  away  from  regretting  this.

you  keep  pushing,  and  i'll  push  you  back.

they're  going  to  find  out.

one  more  lie,  and  i  walk.

they're  lying  to  you.

you  need  to  back  off.  now.

you're  defending  them?  after  everything?

don't  try  to  hide  it.

tell  me,  was  i  just  a  placeholder?

you  really  think  sorry  fixes  this?

there's  nothing  left  to  say.

don't  act  like  you're  the  one  hurting.

i  don't  owe  you  any  explanation.

whatever  helps  you  sleep  at  night.

you  should've  seen  this  coming.

i  hope  it  was  worth  it.

i  told  the  truth.  just  not  all  of  it.

you'll  miss  me  before  i  miss  you.

smile.  you're  ruining  the  mood.

i'd  watch  that  tone  if  i  were  you.

it's  not  my  fault  you  believed  me.

you  have  such  a  talent  for  pretending  you're  innocent.

we  both  know  this  is  over.

i  never  said  i  was  a  good  person.

i  thought  you  were  different.

[rhapsodosage]

@serapime – “ i just want to shut my eyes and sleep forever. ” / POOR DEER.

the words caught genesis off guard, made her falter in a way that felt foreign and wrong. sephiroth was the altar of perfection that he was loath to worship at -- her quiet strength, her resolve, that disgustingly flawless sheen that covered everything she did. to see her without it was like seeing an angel stripped of its wings. it made genesis' stomach drop, and for a moment she wondered if the goddess had abandoned them. perhaps they had offended her in some way, and genesis' dear friend was now the one to pay the price.

spiritual ponderings aside, sephiroth was just that: his friend. and while empathy had never been one of genesis' strengths, she was duty-bound to step in where she could.

❛ do you really feel that way, my dear? ❜ auburn eyebrows furrowed in concern, his eyes soft yet ever focused on her face, watching. ❛ it's not as if i don't understand. this job ... it can be taxing, to say the least. when was the last time you took a vacation? ❜ never, she supposed.

(that was not strictly true. sometimes, genesis thought that she felt the most alive while on duty. turning a battlefield into ashes was better than any shot of adrenaline out there. a pounding in your chest that screamed out I - AM - HERE.)

❛ unless ... it's something else entirely? ❜ genesis probed gently, carefully. it was possible, of course. he knew very little of what went on in her friend's past, let alone what it was like to be in her head. sephiroth's life was wrapped up in caution tape, and genesis wasn't sure which of the two it was put there to protect. he was not about to go charging through it without planning ahead. she wouldn't enter without invitation. this sort of tactical thinking had gotten her this far in life.

❛ if you wish to talk, i will listen. advising might not be so easy.❜ was there truly anything genesis could say to ease her sorrows? comparatively, her woes were probably trivial. petty family drama, romantic woes, the lamentations of a spoiled rich kid. with a warmth like the dawning sun, an idea washed over him. ❛ if it's difficult for you to talk, we could make it more interesting. a secret for a secret, perhaps. i'll hold yours and you hold mine. that way i can't hold it over you. ❜