rheneau

[rheneau]

Welp. Drawing just isn’t working out for me this set of days off I guess. Nothing feels good, I’ve started losing followers since my contest is over, nothing is really getting any notes lately--

Maybe I’ll just do the stuff for the winners and then just take a break, hold off on opening commissions or really bothering with art at all for a while, buy a new tablet and maybe try and get back into the swing of it next month or something.

[rheneau]

Moth to the Flame. 

[rheneau]

when you touch a Bad Texture™ and have to scrub at ur hands until the feeling is gone

[rheneau]

THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL THE TERM “ WITCH ” IS GENDER NEUTRAL

[rheneau]

once i figure out how to hold a conversation, it’s friendship for you bitches

[rheneau]

Some witchy background photos to suit all your witchy needs. 🌙

[rheneau]

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shitty horoscopes book vii: magick

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read the entire shitty horoscopes zine series here.

[rheneau]

[rheneau]

[rheneau]

/tiredly stares at the ask in my art blog’s ask box

[rheneau]

So anyway. I’m always so excited and happy when I finally get into something enough to actually draw for it more than once or twice (sn/k and fre/e were both less than 5 doodles before I never drew for them again) but like... Idk. Fa/ndo/m is just so exhausting and I’ve got so little of myself to work with or offer that it’s taking the mickey out of me trying to please everyone. Like-- I don’t want to be a bad person so I want to work on being a good one. It’s constant and tiring and I’m barely a person as it is and it just builds stress on top of everything. Yes, correct me, please. but also give me a chance to learn and everything, don’t come at it prepared to damn a person.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. Art is a hard thing to love. Fand/oms are hard to love. I’m kinda sorta ready and willing to just up and abandon any and all f an s pa ces and just go back to not drawing and just drifting along all alone in my weird little empty bubble.

I am like almost always disassociated. I don’t function in any way anymore, like I’m just a gross fucking shell of a person and even on good days I would still rather sink into myself and be someone who isn’t me!!! This miserable tiring experience-- I have plenty to be happy about and that just makes this stupid empty feeling worse. Nothing I do has any impact, nothing I say matters to anyone or anything even if I’m doing my best to try and help. Like, why, why do I take up any space. I want to be welcome and wanted and heard and treated like a person, who yes needs to learn things still, but also treated like not every mistake is going to make me a bad person or be the end of the world.

And tbh I want people to stop expecting me to explain things to them all the time too, like people need to educate themselves sometimes, if you know your question then look it up don’t ask some bystander who has their reason for something LISTED SOMEWHERE ALREADY.

I don’t owe my life story to anyone, my own god damn wife had to wait like 7 years into our relationship to unlock my god damn traumas why the fuck should some rando feel like they deserve them? Anyway this started as a vent about how I hate being in fan’/do/ms and derailed into me just being frustrated with life so there’s that.

[rheneau]

I don’t want these recommended posts.

[rheneau]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I won’t delete the old one because my OC’s aesthetics blog is attached to it but-- anyways.