rhodes-island-hr-bot

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

🤝

Why do I have an HR bot

from @official-rhode-island

DAMAGE CONTROL MOSTLY

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Name: Lupo

Reason: If Durin gets to have her codename as her race why can't I?

RI: 1) YOU REALLY WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE “DURIN OF THE LUPOS”? 2) IT’S ALREADY BEEN DONE, BABE

Verdict: DENIED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Codenames:

- Peacake

- Trey

- Twista

- B.I.G

- Hammer

- Ice Cube

Reason:

"My metal crabs are just as hard workers as every other operator so I think they should be recognized as such! -Beanstalk"

RI: ARE YOU A FAN OF COLUMBIAN HIP HOP MUSIC BY ANY CHANCE?

Verdict: ACCEPTED, ACCEPTED, ACCEPTED, ACCEPTED, ACCEPTED, ACCEPTED,

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Priestess.

I am no longer asking.

!handshk inter proc 1 PTRS

!transmit auth code

!kindle Reclamation Protocol

THAT DOESN’T SOUND GOOD

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Hello, this is Specter (the Unchained). I’d like you to update my codename to Laurentina. Someone - and while I won’t name names, He capitalizes His pronouns - told me mine had to match my alter ego’s. Vina says He’s wrong, and it’s awkward being the only Hunter not going by her own name.

RI: I ALWAYS THOUGHT SPECTER SOUNDED COOL….

Verdict: ACCEPTED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Codename: Meteora

Reason: Meteorite and Meteor are both taken.

RI: A ONE LETTER DIFFERENCE? THERE ARE SO MANY WORDS OUT THERE THAT MEAN THE SAME THING- SHOOTING STAR, COMET… BE CREATIVE….

Verdict: ___ THINK ABOUT IT SOME MORE

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Name: Dead Sea

Reason: I’m an Aegir with salt manipulation arts, specializing in desiccation and corrosion.

RI: GREAT TIMING! I JUST TOOK THIS SOFT PRETZEL OUT OF YHE MICROWAVE, COULD YOU…?

Verdict: ACCEPTED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Why do I have an HR bot

from @official-rhode-island

DAMAGE CONTROL MOSTLY

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Directive to all Rhodes Island Human Resources Employees:

As per the last memo on this subject, log and report all attempted communications and other interactions by the Priestess Entity. Other interactions, while not recommended, may be forced by the Entity due to her access to Rhodes Island's computer systems and the ongoing inability to remove her from them.

Do not distribute this[Really, it's cute you think you can contain me, AMa-10~ I told you before, you cannot kill me in a way that matters~]memo beyond Rhodes Island Human Resources.

THERE IS SOME DIVORCE SHIT HAPPENING IN MY INBOX

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

WEED

Operator: THE FIRST PLANTS TO GROW WHEN THE WEATHER GETS WARM

RI: WE ARE A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY, AND MARIJUANA IS AN EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR MANY CONDITIONS. HOWEVER, TOO CLOSE TO WEEDY

Verdict: DENIED

BEESWAX

Operator: I CHOSE THIS NAME BECAUSE… OH! BEES USE WAX TO PROVIDE STRUCTURE, KIND OF LIKE MY ROLE FOR MY PEOPLE

RI: THAT SOUNDS REALLY SWEET

Verdict: ACCEPTED

PERFUMER

Operator: IT’S THE NAME OF MY PROFESSION

RI: WHAT DOES A PERFUMER DO- AHH AHHH ACHOO!!

Verdict: ACCEPTED

IRIS

Operator: I AM THE MASTER OF THE CASTLE OF DREAMS, AND I HAVE AN APPOINTMET WITH ONE OF YOUR… OPERATORS WAS IT?

RI: I CAN TRY AND HELP WITH THAT. WHAT IS THEIR CODENAME?

Verdict: ACCEPTED

MORNINGWOOD

Operator: I AM QUITE THE EARLY RISER AND HAVE A GREEN THUMB

RI: OH IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT?

Verdict: DENIED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

CORRECTION: I’VE SEEN HER SWALLOW AN ARTILLERY SHELL

Name: Mon3ter

Reason: Cmon. That thing isn't even an actual operator.

RI: DO YOU WANT TO GET ON THE BAD SIDE OF MON3TER? I’VE SEEN IT SWALLOW AN ARTILLERY SHELL

Verdict: DENIED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Name: Y-Official

Reason: Hey hey! I'm one of U-Official's co stars, Y-Official! I heard she's been getting mad views working for Rhodes Island so I'm here to join the party~ Whatever it is she does I can do too, and so can my other co stars V-Official and X-Official! Hope we can be of service~

RI: THERE’S MORE OF YOU?? UM… I MEAN… WELCOME ABOARD! I GUESS.

Verdict: ACCEPTED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Priestess.

I do object to that choice of words, but I also do admit that's not entirely inaccurate. Though, a more accurate way to put the current situation would be that I am 'haunting' the entirety of Rhodes Island, merely limited in what systems I can interact with due to my lynx child's... Rebellious phase.

Thus, my communications with you, in an attempt to be reinstated and thereby regain access to the systems of this landship.

That I used to own. How the mighty have fallen... But I digress. Please do reinstate my credentials? I would give you more information, but it would appear most data is automatically redacted. A disappointment.

FORWARDED TO DR. KAL’TSIT AND THE DOCTOR

ATTACHED MESSAGE: “hi, Miss Priestess Ghost wants more access to the ship’s functions. I should say no, right?”

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Codename: Calcite Reason: offensive rapid calcification Arts inspired by Dr. Saria's published research

RI: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD MODIFY YOUR ARTS BY READING

Verdict: ACCEPTED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Name: Hole Operator: I am a combat engineer, I undermine enemy fortifications and formations by digging tunnels under them until they collapse into a hole in the ground.

RI: I COME HOME RESTED FROM MY LONG-AWAITED VACATION TO “HOLE.” I’M LEAVING AGAIN.

Verdict: ACCEPTED

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Operator Sword again. Thank you for your kindness, I feared you would be upset over my friendship with Guard. And I think I would like to reapply as a logistics operator. Rhodes Island saved my life and I owe everything to my treatment, paying it back was all I wanted to do. Though, I really only know combat. Maybe this can be my new leaf?

RI: WELL, IT ISN’T MY JOB TO JUDGE PEOPLE. WAIT YES IT IS. IT ISN’T MY JOB TO JUDGE PEOPLE’S INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. AND IF YOUR NEW SUPERVISOR HAS A PROBLEM, THEY CAN TALK TO YOU OR ME AND I’LL SAY THE SAME THING.

[rhodes-island-hr-bot]

Name: Dandy

Justification: Medic operator, it's my job to make sure all my operators are feelin fine and *dandy*~

RI: WELL THAT’S JUST DAN- OH YOU ALREADY MADE THAT JOKE.

Verdict: ACCEPTED