rhunweasley

[rhunweasley]

how can one scream without a sound how can one break free when they’re bound how can one uncover without being found

is it the aftermath of unfathomable exhaustion is it the feeling of seething with frustration or perhaps the yearning for abstention

they say go on and step out of the ton and i never tell them that i will not run for what if i’m able but would rather be gone

[rhunweasley]

It was a proud moment of mine when I realized that I was finally doing somewhat okay after being down for so long. But, I guess, that gratifying feeling ends today when I ran towards the bathroom, went inside, locked the door, and, without a sound, cried.

It only took one thing to trigger my already fragile mind. I tell myself that maybe this is all the months of trying to convince myself that everything is okay when nothing is. Maybe this is all the weeks of faking a laugh and denying that I am actually hurt. Maybe this me being confused about why I always push those who care away and beg for those who don’t to stay.

I tell myself that maybe I’ve just had enough. Not just of myself. But of life.

[rhunweasley]

[rhunweasley]

"Look at me when you cum"

[rhunweasley]

Life doesn’t excite me anymore.

[rhunweasley]

I am tired of life. Even just thinking about it makes me exhausted.

[rhunweasley]

I’m still deeply hurt. What do I do to forget what had happened?

[rhunweasley]

My parents threw me a birthday party last December 27. I didn’t even plan to celebrate but they took care of everything for me. I am beyond grateful. However, it wasn’t all smiles.

Prior to this, some of my friends kept on asking about what we’re going to do for my birthday. They literally had a set of choices. Pizza, coffee, samgyupsal, whatever. I told them to just come over to my house. And they all said yes.

If I can remember correctly, I had invited at least 8 people from different friend groups to come. I rarely do this especially now with the pandemic. This meant a lot for me.

Since they don’t come from the same circles, I had to think ahead about how to entertain everyone and make sure nobody’s left out. I had even asked my mom to have certain dishes since some don’t eat most of the food we’ll serve. I was also about to ask my dad to set up chairs just for us so they wouldn’t get uncomfortable knowing that my relatives will also be there.

On my birthday, I simply couldn’t believe that nobody of my “friends” came. Well there were two. But they don’t count since they’re a staple in my life for 2, 3 years so I know they would be present. The rest of them canceled one by one that I had to fake my happiness that day. I literally pretended that I was fine. But I wasn’t.

My entire extended family was there. But those who I truly prepared for weren’t. Most of them didn’t even talk to me about them not coming anymore. I only heard about it from someone else. All this happened on the day of the party. So the extra food I had prepared, the chairs I had planned to set up, everything went to waste. It would have been more understandable and less painful if I was made aware at least a day before the occasion. But that wasn’t the case.

This left me heart broken that I don’t ever want to invite anyone ever again to come over for my birthday. I will never believe people again when they say they’re excited to celebrate with me. I will never trust anyone again with things like this.

I have watched videos on the internet about people celebrating alone because nobody responded to their invites. I just can’t believe that I experienced the same thing. I wasn’t alone. But I was definitely hopeful. Maybe I invited the wrong people? Maybe I’m overreacting? I don’t know. But how would you feel when nobody came on your special day?

[rhunweasley]

First photo dump of the year

[rhunweasley]

I look happy in these photos so might as well post them

[rhunweasley]

I guess the reason why I usually say "yes" is that I'm terrified of losing people if I say "no".

[rhunweasley]

someone being excited about you is a good feeling

[rhunweasley]

Here's a reminder that you do not owe anyone an explanation. Not your family. Not your friends. Not your workmates. Nobody. Disappear if you must. Deactivate your accounts if you must. Ignore messages if you must. As long as you're not hurting people, do what you think is best for you. If they can't respect your decisions, that's their problem. Not yours.

[rhunweasley]

one day, it feels like i’m healing but then, the next day, i’m breaking again. it feels like i’m in a cycle that has no end. i shouldn’t be this tired at my age.

[rhunweasley]

When they needed someone to listen, I was all ears. Now that the tables have turned, nobody’s around. And this is why the world is never fair.

[rhunweasley]

Annyeong 😂

[rhunweasley]

Also, her office has no trace of corruption and earned the highest COA rating for 3 consecutive years. [x]

Bakit si Leni?

bakit hindi?

sa dami ba naman ng nagawa niya bilang bise-presidente (with OVP getting the smallest share of budget, at that). at kung titignan mo, 'yung mga pinapatupad niyang programa, pinag-aralan at nakikinig siya sa mga eksperto. ang mga programa niya ay para sa masa. para sa sambayanang pilipino.

ex: the aetas in tarlac were vaccinated through OVP's innitiative. [x] they also launched the free teleconsult service and she's hands on with that project. [x]

if you also listened to her speech, you'd feel that there is still hope for our country. please read this thread regarding her speech and the tweets below.