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IF EVER LOVE MEETS ME AGAIN, I HOPE THIS TIME IT'S GENUINE AND CALM.

If ever love meets me again, I hope it's genuine and calm, a steady presence that soothes the soul rather than a storm that leaves me breathless. Love is something we all think about at different times in our lives. Sometimes it comes to us unexpectedly, bringing excitement and joy, but other times, it might leave us feeling hurt or confused. If love ever meets me again, I hope this time it's genuine and calm. When we're young, love often feels like a whirlwind. It sweeps us off our feet and fills our days with excitement and passion. We stay up late talking, go on spontaneous adventures, and feel like we're living in a dream. But as thrilling as that kind of love can be, it can also be exhausting. It's easy to get caught up in the highs and lows, and when things don't go as planned, the crash can be hard. As I get older, I realize that I want something different from love. I still want the excitement and joy, but I also want to be steady and reliable. I want a love that feels like coming home after a long day – comforting, warm, and safe. A love that doesn't make me feel anxious or uncertain, but instead gives me a sense of peace and stability. Genuine love is about more that just feeling good when things are going well. It's about being there for each other during the tough times, supporting each other's dreams, and growing together. It's about having deep conversations and also enjoying comfortable silences. It's about trust and honesty, knowing that you can be your true self with the other person. Calm love doesn't mean boring or lacking passion. It means having a relationship where you don't feel like you're constantly on a roller coaster. It's about finding someone who makes you feel secure and appreciated, someone who understands you and accepts you as you are. The kind of love brings out the best in both people and helps them become better versions of themselves. I think many of us have experienced love that was intense and exciting but ultimately unsustainable. Maybe we've been in relationships where we felt like were always walking on eggshells, never quite sure where we stood. Or perhaps we've been with someone who made us feel amazing one moment and terrible the next. These experiences can be valuable because they teach us what we truly need and want in a partner. When I imagine love meeting me again, I picture something that grows slowly and steadily. It's the kind of love that builds over time, where we take the time to really get to know each other and build a strong foundation. It's not about rushing into things or expecting perfection. Instead, its about being patient and understanding that real love takes effort and commitment. – it's easy to feel pressured by social media or friends' relationships. We might see couples who seem to have it all figured out and wonder why our own love lives feel so complicated. But it's important to remember that everyone's journey is different. What works for one person might not work for another, and that's okay. So, if ever love meets me again, I hope it's the kind that feels genuine and calm. I hope it's the kind of love that makes me feel at ease and allows me to grow. I hope it's a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding, where we can weather life's storms together and find joy in the simple moments. And most of all, I hope it's a love that lasts, not just in the thrilling moments but in the quiet, everyday ones too. -@alilacerna

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My worst pains were from believers and my best cures were administered by believers also.

[richaritz]

A Good Friend, in Adulthood

When you’re young, what constitutes a good friend is someone who’s down for a good time, lets you borrow their best, will belt out the same song out of your car windows with you 100 times, covers for you, tells you have something in your teeth, lets you cry about the same boy for years on end, loud belly laughs – they always showed up.

Eventually, friendship that once looked and felt like that approaches a fork in the road. Two signs:  Enabling <- this way, Accountability -> that way.

I’ve participated in, been personally victimized by, and been leveled up by both.

Enabling. Enabling friendships are the bumper stickers that sound like: “Live life!” “Do you!” “YOLO” “Do it for the plot!” It’s you texting your best friend for the 3rd time this month saying “I’m done with him,” and you are suddenly the opposite of done when she’s dropping you off at his place hours later when he rings. It’s watching them cope with another drink or another night out or another spend and telling them, “It’s, fineeee.”

There’s truth in wanting to support our friends’ antics and plot-worthy behavior. There’s truth in them supporting ours. Doing so implies seeing one another for just being human. Doing so also implies that our lives are movies without the element of being human, without true character development – the character we take with us into adulthood.

Accountability. It isn’t guilt. It isn’t shame. It’s a gentle nudge, “Help me understand because two weeks ago you said,” “I don’t want to do this anymore,” “I feel so guilty,” “they don’t deserve this,” “I’m never going back there,” “I don’t want to be this person,” “I feel so empty,” “I’m going backward,” “this is a waste of my time.”

When we are young, to be a good friend is as easy as providing comfort. Some friends, that’s all they want from you – comfort and validation, regardless of the cost. You can see the discomfort in them; why add more confrontation to it? But the way you address their choices doesn’t have to be polar opposite; it’s not a hug or a fist to the stomach.

It’s uncomfortable to be reminded that you failed against your desires and promises you made for yourself. But a good friend does it with compassion and grace.

Accountability is a reminder of the goal or boundary your friend set for themselves.

Being a good friend in adulthood is more than calling out bad love & bad habits; it’s calling one another up.

XX, Kenny reference: https://kennysdigest.com/2024/02/12/a-good-friend-in-adulthood/

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April 25, 2024 Sometimes, it's funny how I perceive that God's best in my life is associated by circumstances na I really hope & pray will happen lalo na kung aligned naman ito sa wisdom na itinuturo Niya at feeling ko nanaisin niya ring mangyari. Pero yun na nga Rits eh. Feeling at wishful thinking lang natin ito. I mean, walang masama na hilingin sa Lord yung best possible scenarios sa mga ipinapanalangin natin kasabay ng paghingi ng karunungan at pag-allow na hubugin tayo ng Diyos na ayon sa kalooban Niya. But I am reminded na yung nalalaman ko ay katiting lamang ng bigger picture na nakikita ni Lord. Yung katotohanan na may free will rin ang ibang tao at di ko pwede ipilit kay Lord na gawan Niya ng paraan yon kahit na naniniwala akong walang impossible. It doesn't work that way kumbaga. Hahaha! So yon, minsan kailangan ko lang talaga ng tuktok sa kokote na may malinaw na ngang tugon si Lord, kailangan ko lang tanggapin na it may not seem like it, pero para ito sa aking ikabubuti. Sa aming ikabubuti. :) 11:43PM | Thursday

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It's not difficult hard, it's challenging hard because life is challenging. But the person that you're with, the person that you marry should make all of life a little bit easier.

–People on the internet (Tiktok) on Marriage

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"Rachel, I'm going to walk away before you and I can't go back"

–Donna, Suits S2

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December 16, 2023

Sa lahat ng nanagyari within the week. What I learned the most is: Know your place

Patawad sa lahat ng na-stir up na emotions at reactions, sa mga na-build up na conflicts dahil dito at sa pagpaparamdam na na-dismiss ang concern ng mga tao. Looking back isa rin naman yun sa ayokong ma-feel at ma-experience na gawin sakin. but here we are. Lord, at this point, wala na akong magagawa at inaako ko lahat ng pagkukulang at failure sa mga nangyari, at nangyayari pa. I pray na tulungan niyo po ako maka-bounce back from this nang mapaglingkuran ko kayo ng mainam kung saan ninyo ako ilalagay. Salamat sa comfort at pagmamahal na pinaranas niyo sa akin all through out the week. Salamat sa family ko, salamat sa ILMF, salamat sa Whiteflower, salamat kay Daniel, salamat kay ate Faye at salamat kay Beej Dimple sa magandang balita ng deliverance about sa validation ko sa Sunlife. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa akin kung hindi ito nagkasabay-sabay this week. Salamat Lord. Nag-ppray ako ng kapakumbabaan at kapayapaan na nagmumula sa inyo. In Jesus' name. Amen

[richaritz]

It never feels like it's going to get better at the time, but I promise you that it will. A weight will lift, and you'll find happiness again.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[richaritz]

Exchange "damn, I didn't do that thing I wanted to do for two whole weeks, I'm such a failure I might as well give up" with "now that I'm finally feeling better, I'll return to working on that habit again" and you'll get a whole lot further in life!

[richaritz]

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

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[richaritz]

Progress

I love making progress.

Whatever kind of progress it is – whether we’re talking about health, relationships, careers, skills, hobbies – I love getting better.

My favorite kind of progress?

The kind where I don’t have to deal with anything I’ve done before. Where I don’t have to relearn anything, or dump my bad habits, or change. Much less apologize or make amends.

Where I can ignore all of that, pretend it never happened. And just focus on moving forward.

Too bad my favorite kind of “progress” only looks like progress. But doesn’t really do any lasting good.

I bring this up, because this is what’s going on in today’s Gospel. After the Resurrection, there’s this strange back and forth between Jesus and Peter.

Jesus asks Peter, “do you love me?”

Peter says yes.

Jesus asks Peter again, “do you love me?”

Peter says yes again. But there’s something different, something off about the question the second time.

Jesus asks Peter a third time, “do you love me?”

Now there’s an edge to it. Because this is a call-back to Peter’s most shameful moment.

To the small hours of the morning on Good Friday. When Peter, the one who bragged about being with Jesus to the end, denied even knowing Jesus. Three times.

And Peter is gutted.

Because Peter wanted to ignore all of that, pretend it never happened. And just focus on moving forward.

But that’s not how it goes.

Because Jesus loves Peter too much to settle for something that only looks like progress. But doesn’t really do any lasting good.

That’s why Jesus is calling Peter to the only kind of progress that can do any lasting good. The kind that begins by turning back. To deal with what went wrong.

Before Peter can be filled with the Holy Spirit. Before Peter can live up to the new name that Jesus gave him. Before Peter can be who God made him to be. Before Peter can make any progress.

Peter has to turn back. Peter has to deal with what went wrong. Peter has to repair his relationship with Jesus.

The Gospel is showing us a universal truth. When things go wrong. Especially when we’re the reason why they went wrong. We can’t just ignore what we did. And try to keep on going like nothing happened.

It’s not healthy. And the longer we avoid it, the worse it gets.

You and I will never make any real progress towards being who God made us to be, without first turning back, and dealing with what went wrong.

Without repairing our relationship with God, there can be no progress. Not for Peter. Not for any of us.

It’s simple. But it’s not easy.

God will give you the courage to do it. If you have the humility to ask.

Turn back. Deal with it. Repair your relationship with God.

Then get ready to see real progress.

Go. God is waiting for you with open arms.

Today’s Readings

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Kuya Emman

Sa sobrang pagpapahalaga ko before, I still remember kung kailan kami naging bestfriends, January 4, 2010. Uso pa noon yung mga post sa FB na "describe me in one word" tapos yun yung nilagay niya.

Nagkakilala kami I think MEC camp sa Beulah then may Sunday practices sa Tambo PICC, Paranaque (taga-doon pa sila) then eventually, naging GenSec si Ptr. Abiog at napadpad na sila sa Beulah land.

2009 | Naging close kami dahil sa samu't-saring ministry opportunities sa church, simula sa pagtugtog sa Prayer and Praise, Youth leadership, salitan kami sa pag-lead ng devotion at Bible study, Lupong pamunuan duties, District and National OrgComms. Lumawak rin connections namin dahil sa mga ito. Alam ng nasa radar namin na bestfriends kami marahil expressive rin ako as a friend. Saktong flex lang pag may okasyon ganon. As our friendship deepens, somehow naging accountable kami sa spiritual life ng bawat isa, nakakapag-share ng vulnerability at weakness at allowed na i-correct ang isa't isa which is nakikita ko non as sign of maturity sa isang friendship. Eventually, namuo ang paghanga at nagka-one-sided na feelings ako sa kanya. Ideal kasi sa lalakeng gusto kong pakasalan someday (lol) haha. Kristiyano, growing sa Lord, kasama maglingkod, matangkad, friendship ang foundation, mapagkakatiwalaan. As time passes by, I think we just grew tired sa dynamics namin. I became too much for him, minsan "too nice", madrama, and overthinker. Sa amin, ako ang sentimental sa mga bagay bagay at pangyayari. Yung special for me, normal na araw para sa kanya, mga ganong tipo. Nilalamon rin ako at times ng thoughts na sana hindi niya nalang ako bestfriend dahil nakikita ko kung paano niya i-treat yung ibang friends niya especially girls, mas treated with kindness, care, may interest siya kausapin at ako pinanghahawakan yung sinabi niya na kapag daw may ibang tao (lalo na ang lawak na ng circle namin), ay focus kami doon, dahil kapag kaming dalawa nalang naman na, we have our time. "Baka cold siya sakin kasi mas close kami". hahahahay ewan ko ba. Kadalasan nung era na yun, madalas kong bine-blame yung sarili ko for being an annoyance to him, na kasalanan ko bakit kami nag-ddrift apart na – feeling ko it's because of what I did or said pero ang hirap manghula lalo na sa edad na yun. Ang hirap kumawala sa cycle na most of the time lugmok ka > tapos bigla magkakaroon ng time to bond, heart to heart talk > okay for a while > cold na naman > magho-hold on sa katiting na glimpse of hope na it will get better. Hilig pa naman noon na parang kailangan mo i-decipher yung conversations niyo jusko. That feeling na you're just waiting for the season na "ah okay na ulit." Tapos walang assurance kung ano ka pa ba sa life niya.

"People should be doubted. Many people misunderstand this concept. Doubting people is just a part of getting to know them. What many people call ‘trust’ is really just giving up on trying to understand others, and that very act is far worse than doubting. It is actually ‘apathy." ― Shinobu Kaitani, Liar Game, Volume 4

Isa ito sa inside thoughts o silent rule ng friendship namin & kinda explains on my part why I held for too long. I always find a reason na i-justify why i feel what I feel kahit na hindi na maganda. Kahit taken for granted, martyr at willing to lay my life for him ang peg ko. Hanggang sa dumating na yung araw na medyo kinakatakot ko and at the same time, inaabangan ko para may panindigan na mag-let go at move forward. Nagkaroon siya ng girlfriend tapos ang caption "BFF. Medyo teaser" hahahaha! Yung pakiramdam na "Where was I?" ika nga ni Alexa Ilacad.

Mas leaning yung heartache ko with the fact na replaced na ako bilang bestfriend. Tapos na ang laban, may kinalagyan ka na. Ganon. Cringe man, pero he was my first love. Yung willing akong gawin at ibigay kung anong meron ako at higit pa na walang kapalit. Maging available kahit sa moments na inconvenient. Taking the extra mile para tumulong sa panahon ng pangangailangan. Sumalo sa mga pagkukulang. Maging substitute o representative sa panahong di siya pwede. Hanggang sa panahon na tanggap ko na hindi ganon kalaki ang puwang ko sa buhay niya, gusto ko pa rin siya maging bestman sa kasal ko, ninong ng magiging anak ko etc.

Siyempre ako bida dito, kwento ko 'to eh. Blog ko 'to. HAHAHAHA JOKE

Kidding aside, mahirap man na alalahanin pa yung magagandang nangyari sa pagkakaibigan namin, tinuruan niya ko kung -paano neatly i-fold yung mga foldable payong, -kung paano iligpit yung mga kurdon tuwing after gamitin yung mga instrumento pag tutugtog ng Prayer and Praise, -kung paano mag-trouble shoot ng mga gadget, -yung wisdom ng obedience is better than sacrifice, -mag-brisk walking lol. yung paghatid/sundo sa friend para safe. -yung idea na basta alam mo yung train station na sasakyan mo pauwi, buhay ka na gumala kung saan saan haha. -yung pagiging okay ng 'x-mas' as pagbati pag Christmas (lol pinaka-naalala kong gaslighting ganap XD char) -yung pagiging handa na sumalo sa mga task at pagiging innovative -yung magpatuloy kahit dalawa o tatlo lang ang umattend sa gawain -Pagiging mabutinting sa mga software at hardware lalo pag related sa music.

Remembering our friendship made me realize how we take our relationships seriously even at a young age and i believe we've learned how to take care of it as we grow apart. Yung pagsabuhay natin ng salitang commitment para sa Lord at sa kingdom Niya. Ito rin yung time panahon na dini-discover natin yung potential natin sa iba't ibang aspeto ng paglilingkod. Yung kahalagahan ng pagkakaroon ng spiritual friend at mentor. Yung mga pag-acknowledge sa mga kahinaan naten at no man is an island sa journey na ito. Itong era na 'to ay malaking parte ng paghubog ko bilang isang Kristiyano.

Dumating man at marahil mas lamang yung mga panahong walking on eggshells tayo (o ako sayo). Matagal pa rin naman kasi tayong naging mag-churchmate after ng lahat hanggang sa naging civil at marami pa ring pagkakataon na involved tayo sa leadership ministry. Ate at kuya pa rin tayo ng Kabanatang Sulo. Nagchichikkahan pa rin tayo kapag bumabyahe tayo papunta at pauwi galing sa mga meetings, kapag maaga tayo sa practice ng Prayer and Praise o Bible study at nakakapag-aya pa tayo ng quality time basta may ibang taong kasama. hehe. At a certain point, naging mahalaga kang parte ng buhay ko. Salamat sa company, sa ministry, sa leadership at sa friendship.

Pagpalain ng Lord yung mga balakin natin sa buhay at yung iba't ibang aspeto nito. Kalooban Niya nawa ang maghari. Thank you ulit kuya Emman :) Fin. | May 5, 2023 | 9:05PM

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April 27, 2023

When I run through my pending list in life, isa mga matagal ko nang planong gustong gawin ay makapagsulat or gumawa ng entry tungkol sa mga taong dumaan o dumating at nanatili sa buhay ko at naging significant sa pag-mold ko as a person.

Ang overwhelming kasi umpisahan kasi feels ko trip down memory lane pero di ko na pipilitin pang mag-hunting at mag-deep dive ng alaala. gawin ko nalang series of blog entry.

Appreciation / Recognition posts coming uppp... 😌



9:39AM | Thursday

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I’m learning that choosing God’s will for me is also choosing me.

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Take care of this version of you, you prayed a lot to become her.