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[rifiesy]

A Weekly Plan

Now I have a weekly and monthly plan.

I am not a big planner like someone that knows what is going to happen inside their calendar in the next 6 months. No, I am still keeping my agenda open.

But things need to change. Now I am keeping a weekly plan that has goals to achieve. Practicing myself to have more timebound for my personal plan.

Now I need to change my perception of time. I also reduce multi-tasking and focus on only one thing at a time. My brain is already full of stuff that can explode if I found a distraction.

[rifiesy]

The Guilt Trip

Hopefully I will not be invited. In a million years.

This is my number one most hated behavior from someone. Either it's friends, family, co-workers. Because you are using my emotion to get something that you want. You're using fear, obligation, guilt (FOG). I never know about this until someone did a guilt tripping to me and I read about it.

It's affecting me to not having a connection while I was genuinely interested having one. Also limiting the engagement.

This is why, we feel an obligation in ourself to do what they want, while actually, you're still questioning yourself couple times.

And I know that guilt tripping its unconscious thing they do. I just hope that they talk about it directly and have more positive intention. Might also have a positive outcome.

Are we can still be free from this? No. You need to accept that in some circumstances, you will get that kind of treatment. And what you can do is only take a deep breath and act indifference. And there's no second chance to connect.

[rifiesy]

Automated

What daily stuff do you automate? How do you save your time to create more time?

I've been thinking about Naval tweet about the time

"You don’t get rich by spending your time to save money. You get rich by saving your time to make money."

How to create more time? Saving my time is excellent advice. I need to have the prioritization right. I'm practicing Pareto.

So I don't have any good method to start, and the correct way it's just to start to do something that MAKES SENSE!

In that article, it says "You spend 20% of your time at work on the tasks that bring you 80% of success. Spend more time doing what is most important and makes a difference!"

on my daily task, I found it too hard to prioritize. Because it seems everything is important. All of it? Srsly?

We'll see this month's result and adopt this method.

This i need to practice.

[rifiesy]

The Bag That Went Away

I lost my bag, the pouch bag that has lots of essential stuff there. Got my ID, Credit Card, Insurance Cards, and Debit Card. Not forget to say my USB-C converter, contact lens, charger, cables, sweet blue eyeliner, beloved pen, and small Moleskine notebook.

Seems like lots of stuff but I barely even use my wallet. So somehow I put that on that small bag, and now it's gone. Gone for good and I need to report this accident to the police.

I went to the office last week on Wednesday, went to dinner with a friend, and went home by cab. I realized the pouch was missing next Saturday when I am preparing to go to Senayan for running with my husband.

I didn't remember I took the pouch out of my bag. Weird.

Rather than go to Senayan on Saturday, we went to the office and went to the restaurant I visited on Wednesday. I also called Blue Bird, no report so far. I love my husband for his patience. Srsly.

So, lesson learned. Put your wallet inside the bag, not on the pouch bag. When you lose the pouch, you're not losing your wallet at least.

Now, I lost my pouch and also my wallet.

[rifiesy]

Short Attention Span

No!

I do not have a short attention span, it's just the topic is not giving me stay focus for a long time, while I need to make it more interesting for myself to create more conversaton, I do ask questions outside the topic.

Friend : Hey Rifie, from the way i heard, getting enough sleep is important for health and yadda yadda yadda (talks about sleep)...

Me: Oh really, I can fast asleep. Hey, do you know somewhere where I can buy fluffy pancakes around here?

It's a challenging thing for me to get really focused and stay on just one thing.

So I still find a way to have an interesting conversation with friends that stay focused on finishing one topic.

But I do notice something that people are not aware of it.

So yeah, I have a short attention span but I notice deeply.

Fair enough.

[rifiesy]

No Urgency, No Growth

N.U.N.G. is the new S.M.A.R.T goal.

Somehow I found some of the people (or maybe a lot?) people want to do something but there's no target to finish it. People are stunned when someone asks for a date to accomplish their project.

When can you lose weight to 60kg, Rifie?

When can you ship the project, Rifie?

Without a timeline and having a strict time for your project, it's pretty much you are going to procrastinate a lot. No sense of urgency. You haven't realized that time is not here to stay. You will not learn something new and you are still 68kg.

To achieve what you already planned, create that urgency. Asking for help from a friend, to create a scenario of what will happen if you don't work on your goals. What will happen to you? What is the worst scenario?

Set a time, and make a plan. Even a rough one is still okay. And the timeline!

So, no urgency, no growth.

[rifiesy]

The Assumption and Conclusion

I need to stop assuming.

I thought everyone, (yes everyone) understood what was next to be done, and had the same thinking as I am, in one particular project.

Apparently not. Everyone has a different way of thinking and priorities. It will not be the same as mine, not be the same as everyone else.

What makes them on the same page as us, then?

A purpose. Well, we have a different purpose and also plan yes. That is why I need to understand their motivation.

Just today I just realized it, and it affects me. Why am I not proactively reaching out to them and just talk how we can have a win-win? What makes me have a quick conclusion? We're not even getting into half of the picture yet.

"Before you assume, try this crazy method called asking"

“When your mind is full of assumptions, conclusions, and beliefs, it has no penetration, it just repeats past impressions.”

[rifiesy]

Sunday is a book day

I have more time to read on Sunday.

Currently, I am reading Robert Greene's The Laws of Human Nature. And I feel good to have my reading habit back.

I don't read many books last year. I was being flexible with my time. No target to achieve how many books I want to read. The lesson learned from not reading many books is my brain was in consumptive mode. All the social media feed made me lazy. It felt like I don't want to grow. The brain was resting enough.

Now, I am getting back on track. I always love to read and am curious about looking for a different perspective.

The reading list this October:

The Laws of Human Nature. Since I am obsessed with human connection (my personality said I am pretty good at it and experienced bad connection as well) I want to understand more and have this as my strength to connect with the right people more and of course, be aware of wrong people in my life.

One mystery fiction book to have my fantasy around (haven't decided yet)

The Cold Start Problem. The entrepreneur's world is changing, and I want to go and do things that matter. Start with this book and try to amplify it in my own business life.

[rifiesy]

Progress in life

I remembered most times, I was afraid of being my own self. People would criticize me. I kept fit in and became someone who wanted to be very likable. I wasn't comfortable back then. Too many people pleasing, always trying to be perfect in front of others.

Is this a life that I wanted? Are you serious, Rifie?

I kept holding back. But still, I could live this kind of life. And, still happy. But living this kind of life makes me I don't recognize my self-awareness. I never thought of that.

So finally after having several setbacks that wasted lots of my time, I finally understand important things in life always start inside.

Keep understanding yourself, progress in life, and find interesting and beautiful things to explore on your own.

It's enhancing. So start to have good self-awareness as a start.

[rifiesy]

In this really heavy distraction world and the noises around us, especially in social media, I am so happy that there's mute feature in Twitter/Instagram, and unfollow on LinkedIn. Feels rude to unfriend but i need to mute/unfollow people that really toxic and really passed my limit of patience, human sense and logic. You had your chances.

And it feels good. You should try!

[rifiesy]

You gotta be on top of that!

So, these words changed the way I prepare things and handle important matters. It's simple and you need to prepare for what you will be facing. If it matters to you, then you need to be ready one, and probably two steps ahead. Ahead of everyone.

Here's what I do :

Visualize the outcome, "If I got into that, what I am gonna feel?"

Working backward. Create a rough plan, set a list of tasks on what you're gonna do, let curiosity guide you, and be creative.

Block your time. Invest in it. Since it's really important to you.

Execute.

No need for permission to do all the stuff! It's in you.

[rifiesy]

Walk The Talk.

"Walk the talk" by far is the best, beautiful words ever that i heard. Especially in professional world.

I've been witnessing people lied, deceitful, or even manipulate just to be on top. "Take manipulate is a good word" says someone, currently at the top that always brag that it feels lonely at the top. Such a nonsense thing to hear. Such a bad noise to my ear.

Lesson learned, you need to stick with your own values, to guide you to do walk the talk. Good people do good things. They do what they say. After almost 3 decades of my life, now i can discern which one is good or bad. I was such a gullible person back then.

So if you want to be happy, and more happy for what you decided in your life, stick to your core values in life. It could be anything. Mine is be authentic, be growing and be a follow-through.

walk the talk.

[rifiesy]

People come and go, and it's okay.

I finally realise that there are several friends that I know, myself included, who attached their self-esteem to what people said about them.

I was afraid to let people go.

Feel afraid that I disappointed them, and felt left out. If you have that kind of feeling, no matter what personality you are, it's okay. In certain aspects of life, you certainly need to fix that. Remember, feelings are temporary. You need to be better. Be you, independent you.

We crave connection, that's true. Can't resist that. Somehow, the way I see what connect means, you need to connect to yourself before you connect with others. Have a good self-awareness, and level up your self-esteem from the ground up.

You're being a people person, that's good. Being nice, and kind. But are you being kind to yourself? Do you understand yourself?

As per my bad experience with bad people, please understand yourself first, build good self-esteem, and practice good boundaries. If you not have it, you're gonna be used.

It's hard, I know. It is supposed to be hard. But you need to start somewhere. Leave it before it's too late. If you read this, you have my full support to let go of things that don't matter in your life.

And it feels really good.

Good luck.

[rifiesy]

Hi Again.

I love to write. At almost 40 years old, I am thinking about writing my own experience, my learnings, and documenting my thought process.

Well, lots of my blog has been inactive. But this blog is for a different set of reasons.

Why the name is safe flight Sunday? Well, I just like it. Saying 'safe flight' has a deep meaning if you think more of it. So I want to write on this blog as saying 'safe flight' to you. Since most people are constantly moving right now, even though staying at home is also a good way to spend your own time.

Just a thought.