rinessa

[rinessa]

pin

hey! i'm ri. this is my second blog. look at my first one pls: @pink-cardboard-goose !! that one is ignored by tumblr, dunno why, so i post here temporarily

[rinessa]

translation:

My love has always turned me sideways A knife held to my throat Not yet painful, but scary to exhale

this is @nopanamaman's OC, pls everyone watch pafl it's an epic thing

[rinessa]

I love it when girls haunt the narrative

[rinessa]

Happy birthday, KT003-405!

[rinessa]

and very, very often, self care is not plants and ice rollers and fluffy blankets of peace.

it’s standing over your kitchen sink and crying while doing the dishes because you just want to go back to bed but the dishes need done. and you don’t know why you’re crying but you're trusting you need it. and you aren’t listening to the music that pulls you into a spiral; you’re listening to some cheerful shit your friend sent you. it’s getting up and staring at your fridge and closing your eyes and then cooking yourself food even though you hate it and it’s miserable. because you know that you’d cook for your friend, and you are trying to befriend yourself. it’s dragging yourself into the shower because you know you’ll feel better afterwards. it’s doing mundane tasks with patience, cursing under your breath, trying desperately to give yourself grace. grace is the beginning of care. care is the beginning of love.

we think it’s supposed to be peace and yet the most powerful self care moments are when we hate everything but especially ourselves. and life does not feel worth the loving. to look into that pain and yet choose to care for yourself in however many pieces you are — that is care. love. grace. trust. belief. it hurts because it’s love where there was no love before. it heals because it believes there will be love, one day, soon.