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Continuing on with my analysis and comparison of Monica’s relationships with Felix and Cyril this will cover volumes 3-5 so SPOILERS for anyone not caught up to those volumes.

So, starting with Monica and Felix, I will say that further reading has not endeared me to their relationship any more than before. Actually I think my impression of it has worsened over time…?

Felix smiled softly and nodded, seeming to understand exactly how she felt. “I know. I’m actually thinking the same thing.”

Their cheeks were slightly red, having left the cold for the warmth of the room. They gazed into each other’s eyes.

Then they held up the books in their hands. Monica held the volume her father had written, and Felix the issues of Minerva Springs.

“Um! Can I read this, please?”

“Of course. I can’t wait to open mine, either.”

No words were necessary after that. They joyously flopped down on the sofa and opened their books.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Chapter 11

This scene was probably the closest I ever got to shipping them. Here they are, in a literal brothel, and all they want to do is read their books. It’s just so sweet and they’re both such dorks when it comes to their interests. But, of course, one scene can’t make up the entirety of a relationship and just about every other scene with the two of them makes me feel uncomfortable.

If I had to put into words what it is about their relationship that makes me uncomfortable it would be that their relationship feels almost entirely centered on Felix and his wants, and Monica’s own feelings rarely seem to enter the equation. It makes all their interactions feel rather lopsided.

The moment his fingers touched her mouth, she unconsciously tensed up and gave a violent start.

Probably hearing the stifled shriek that shook her throat, Felix commented a little sadly, “You said you weren’t afraid of horses, but you’re afraid of people, aren’t you?”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Chapter 9

Felix didn’t criticize her. Instead, he constructed a gentle smile. “If you really are frightened of people, you can just think of me as a ghost. After all, the spirits of the dead visit our world tonight—that’s why they’re ringing the bells.”

…

“Your friend Ike is actually a ghost who doesn’t exist. So he can’t hurt you.”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Chapter 9

Felix notices Monica’s afraid of people and as a result doesn’t like being touched so he tells her to pretend he’s a ghost that can’t hurt her to make her feel more comfortable. And it’s a sweet moment and sentiment, but it ends up ringing hollow to me as we see Felix continue to initiate contact with her.

As her fingers fumbled with the clasp, Felix got down from the bed and put his own hand over hers to guide it. But the moment he touched her, her entire body went stiff.

…

But people touching her terrified her. She would always remember the abuse she’d suffered at the hands of her uncle after her father had passed, and her body would lock up. She trembled—and this time it wasn’t because of the cold.

Felix lowered Monica’s hand before it could unclasp the pendant-

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Epilogue

Monica puts a lot of effort and consideration into interacting not just with Felix but all her friends and often tries to meet Felix where he’s at, but Felix often can’t seem to give Monica the same consideration in return even when he tries. Instead any consideration toward her often comes up short of whatever he wants to get out of the situation. Or perhaps I should say that’s as far as his consideration towards her goes; and as a result Monica’s own comfort seems to fall to the wayside.

And it’s something that becomes even more apparent when we compare Cyril’s scenes with Felix’s, with many of them mirroring each other and acting as foils.

This might be a charm, but it was the first time anyone had ever given her a flower.

“Thank you for the pretty flower, Lord Cyril.” A crooked smile formed on Monica’s face.

Cyril’s own lips turned upward, and he nodded in satisfaction.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 3

Vs.

Feeling a strange sensation at her neck, Monica reached up with a finger and felt a thin chain. When she looked down, she saw a small yellow-green gemstone sparkling in the morning sunlight. Confused, she looked back up at Felix.

Resting his face in his palm, his elbow propped up on a knee, he offered her a gentle smile. “It really does go with your eyes.”

“What, um, is this…?”

“You told me that if I gave you an accessory, it wouldn’t really make you happy, right?”

Monica didn’t try to hide her guilt. She nodded, troubled.

Felix smiled a little sadly at her honest response.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Epilogue

In these scenes both of them are giving Monica a gift and yet how Monica reacts to receiving a gift from them is starkly different. Monica is genuinely pleased to receive a flower from Cyril but is noticeably troubled and uncertain when Felix gives her a necklace.

Monica looked down at the white rose in her hand. Um, should I fasten it to my bolero? she wondered. She pinned it there, her fingers uncertain. The white rose imparted just the right amount of extra brilliance to her richly colored bolero.

Up until a little while ago, she wouldn’t have cared about some groundless good-luck charm. Now, for some reason, it filled her with confidence.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 3

Vs.

Monica would probably never have worn this pendant of her own accord. But for now, at least, she stopped fumbling with the clasp. She felt like removing it would make him sad.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Epilogue

Monica immediately puts on the flower Cyril gave her of her own will, Cyril didn’t even stay to check that she wore it, and it has a noticeable positive effect on her mood.

Meanwhile Felix is the one that puts the necklace on Monica, while she was asleep and couldn’t refuse it, despite her saying earlier in the volume that necklace wouldn’t make her happy, with Monica even commenting to herself that she never would have worn it of her own accord. The only reason she doesn’t immediately take it off out of consideration for Felix; because doing so would make Felix sad. Monica’s own feelings on the matter are pushed to the side in favor of Felix’s and it’s something that happens frequently.

“It’s a good-luck charm. If you wear it, you won’t embarrass yourself today. Make sure you keep it on at the ball, too.”

“Th-there’s a…a charm like that?!” Monica looked down with admiration at the floral ornament. She didn’t see any magical formulae embedded in it. That meant it wasn’t the kind of charm or curse that was imbued with magecraft. It must be related to some custom or local superstition.

She didn’t know what meaning this flower held, but apparently, if she wore it, she wouldn’t embarrass herself for the rest of the day. As she examined it closely, the gentle aroma wafting from the white rose brought a small smile to her face.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 3

Vs.

“I didn’t give this pendant to you for your sake. I did it to satisfy myself… This gift is for me.”

Monica was at a loss; she didn’t understand what he was trying to say.

Felix laughed—a little self-deprecating—and plucked up the peridot, giving it a light tug. The thin chain dug slightly into Monica’s skin. “Gifts you can see—especially things a person wears on their body—are particularly good for securing someone’s heart, don’t you think?”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Epilogue

The reason behind the gifts also starkly differ.

Cyril originally gives Monica the flower believing that Monica is excited about the dance so he can keep her from embarrassing herself (and because he wants to dance with her though of course he can’t admit that) but upon realizing Monica isn’t aware of the custom, and likely not wanting to make her feel anxious or pressured, instead tells her the flower is a good luck charm. From start to finish, even factoring in Cyril’s own wants in, he is considerate towards Monica’s feelings and wants.

Again, this is sharply contrasted by Felix who gives Monica the necklace not because he thinks she would like it but because it’s something that would make him happy.

He walked over to her sofa. Then he got down on his knee in front of her and extended a hand. “Nobody will be watching us here, so there’s no need for embarrassment.”

His pretty blue eyes reflected Monica’s stunned expression.

“May I have this dance, my lady?”

Pierced by his gaze, she placed her hand in his.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 11

Vs.

With the most natural of motions, Felix took her hand, then placed his other on her waist—like they were about to start dancing.

“Um, Prince, we should go back inside…”

“Keep me company out here for just a few minutes, won’t you? I know you’d never agree to dance with me in the ballroom.”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

Here we see it again: Felix has enough consideration towards Monica to know she wouldn’t want to dance with him in front of crowd, but doesn’t give her the option to refuse dancing with him.

It’s similar and yet starkly different to Cyril, who also gives Monica the consideration of dancing with him in a private setting but also politely asks her to dance with him and waits for her to accept before initiating the dance. And as a result the atmosphere of the two dances is starkly different.

Cyril guided her along in time with the band’s performance, which they could hear from somewhere in the distance. She hadn’t danced with him since the time they practiced for her class. As ever, Cyril was a good lead, naturally guiding the clumsy Monica.

She twirled, sending her lace-adorned skirt fluttering into the air. Cyril gently supported her as she staggered on her way back, and they resumed the proper steps.

Monica wasn’t great when it came to moving around. But right now, she was genuinely enjoying it.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 11

Vs.

He was completely right, so Monica decided to keep her mouth shut and let him lead. It ended up being less of a dance and more of them walking in time to the music. Monica’s steps were all over the place, but that only seemed to amuse him more.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

Compared to Cyril’s dance with Monica, her and Felix’s feels considerably more awkward and stilted.

What stands out most to me about those two scenes though is the note they end on about the dance. In Monica’s scene with Cyril it ends on a note about how she is genuinely enjoying dancing with him. Whereas with Felix it ends on how he is feeling about the dance and Monica’s own feelings on it go uncommented on, like they don’t really matter to the scene.

For her, it was much easier to dance if she thought of nothing but equations, letting the other person lead. But she hadn’t done that this time.

“It just seemed…kind of a waste to fill my head with numbers, so…”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 11

Vs.

“What about me? Won’t you think about me instead?”

Right now, Felix was all she could think about. Mainly how best to protect him and why the Starseer Witch couldn’t see his fate. She wasn’t dull enough to come out and say that, though, and just mumbled something inaudibly.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

“Why are you worse at this than before?” he murmured aloud, his voice low. His dubious stare was a far cry from proper dancing etiquette—but it was classic Cyril Ashley.

Feeling weirdly relieved by his familiar attitude, Monica started muttering and making excuses. “I-I’m sorry. If I had cleared my mind and focused on numerical equations, I could have done a little better. But…”

…

But just for this moment, more than either of those things, she wanted to make sure she never, ever forgot this time spent as Monica Norton.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 11

Vs.

With Felix staring her right in the face, his sculpted features a mere hairbreadth away, Monica’s thoughts sped up and her eyes began to spin. “Sh-sh-sh-shhh…”

“Hmm?”

“Shooting stars are smaller and lighter than the pebbles at our feet, but the reason they shine so beautifully is because they’re moving at speeds so fast …”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

When she’s with Cyril Monica wants to remember the time they spend together, even over focusing on her beloved equations. She even says she thought it would be a waste to do that.

In contrast when dancing with Felix Monica is thinking more about her mission than she is about being with him. And eventually Felix makes her nervous enough that she falls back on spouting science/math at him.

She fingered the ribbon hanging from her rose ornament and looked up at him. “Lord Cyril, thank you…um, for the good-luck charm. I did a lot better than usual today.”

The vice president’s eyes softened ever so slightly, and a subtle smile played at the corners of his lips.

“…Is that so?” he said, seeming to reflect on her words before finally leaving the room.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

Vs.

“Makes me a little jealous,” he said.

“…Huh?”

The hand holding her waist tightened. They stopped, though the music played on. Felix’s blue eyes looked almost mechanically at the floral decoration on Monica’s chest. And then, with his other hand, he reached out to touch her neck. His gloved fingers stroked her skin.

“You didn’t wear the peridot I gave you.”

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

Ironically the thing Felix wanted to achieve most by giving her a gift she can visibly wear Cyril managed to do easily because Monica liked what he gave her, whereas she avoids wearing the necklace Felix gave her.

Two blue irises appeared in her still-hazy vision. They were peering at her with worry.

“…Lord…Cyril?” she murmured, almost getting her tongue in a twist. Cyril sighed in relief.

Monica slowly sat up and got a grasp on her current situation. She was wrapped in a blanket and lying on a sofa. A short distance away, Cyril was watching her.

“Are you cold?”

That brief question was all it took for Monica to realize why he was so far away from her.

His mana hyperabsorption caused him to constantly emit cold air. He must be worried that being next to her would make her cold.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Chapter 11

Vs.

The sound of a voice right beside her woke Monica instantly. Her eyes went as wide as saucers as she turned toward the speaker—and saw a pair of gemstone-like irises looking gently back at her.

Monica barely managed to suppress a scream and fell out of bed with a thud.

…

Felix, sitting up in bed, chuckled to himself. His upper body was completely naked. And Monica had rubbed her cheek on his chest. That seemed like more than enough reason for her head to roll.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 3 Epilogue

Cyril is constantly going out of his way to show consideration for Monica and make sure she’s comfortable. The fact I can’t say the same about Felix is sad actually.

At first, she’d been intimidated by his haughty behavior. Lately, though, she found it oddly comforting.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Epilogue

As he gazed at the Silent Witch, Felix’s cheeks flushed red, and his blue eyes melted in ecstasy. He was like a young man in love.

Monica had seen him speaking passionately about the Silent Witch a few times before, but now that she was the target of that ardor, she could feel her stomach twisting into knots.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 5 Chapter 2

Monica is genuinely comfortable around Cyril in a way I can’t say she is with Felix even though, by Volume 5, Felix knows more about her than Cyril now does. But it’s information Felix only knows as a result of circumstance, not information Monica willingly offered to him.

Time and time again we see Monica show thoughtfulness and consideration towards both Felix’s feelings and privacy and yet it is never reciprocated by him towards her. Both as Monica Norton and the Silent Witch.

But why should she expose his secrets for the mere sake of her curiosity? She was only meant to guard him—none of these things were any of her business. She shouldn’t pry into his affairs just because she wanted to know.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 5 Chapter 9

Felix’s beloved Silent Witch was at Serendia Academy.

…I must meet her. I want to see her face, if I can. I want to hear her voice.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 5 Chapter 9

At this point I would find a romantic relationship between them to be genuinely uncomfortable. Felix is interested in Monica, presumably romantically, but fails to respect her as a person and often shows displeasure whenever other people get “too close” in his mind. Monica meanwhile values Felix as dear friend but is utterly uninterested in him romantically.

Meanwhile, with Cyril, we get moments like this:

Up until a little while ago, she wouldn’t have cared about some groundless good-luck charm. Now, for some reason, it filled her with confidence.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4 Ch 3

Using a special item to raise one’s self-esteem? It made no sense to Monica. Why cling to such uncertainties when you could settle your mind with equations instead?

Charms… I doubt I’ll have anything to do with them as long as I live, she thought, slowly getting back to the task at hand.

Excerpt From Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 4.5 -after- Prologue

Mh-hm. Sure sweetie. Whatever you say.

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