rippedjeansandconverse - Tumblr blog

[rippedjeansandconverse]

Scooby-Doo made me cry today. That movie is honestly depressing. Well, looks like we have something in common don’t we? I’m not depressed, melancholy perhaps.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

Warped Tour

36 days until I go to Warped Tour 2k17! I hope I will look way thinner by then! Just have to stick to my plan every single day. I wish everyone else luck!! 💛💛 xoxo

[rippedjeansandconverse]

May 11, 2017

I used to starve myself and binge/purge. I was thirteen. I'm fifteen now, and I'm 5'4" and 138lbs. It's almost summer and I'm a fat filled body covered in acne packed skin. I started restricting again. I'm scared too, because I know what life the future holds if I stick to I like last time; two years ago. I was skinny. Now I'm not. I guess, relapse happens. It's a good thing. This is what I need. Exercise, healthy food and restriction. I can do this. By September of next year I will be skinny, have a car, license, a whole new cute wardrobe, and I will be gorgeous. I will have a new and improved makeup collection even though it's not too bad now with some KVD and Morphe. I can't wait for next school year. I'm going to kick ass!

[rippedjeansandconverse]

May 10, 2017

Quick update: 1)ex and I broke up. 2)breast tumor removed and new tumor in shoulder. 3)low key depended on Vicodin; whoops I'm 15. 4)stressing the fuck out about finals. (I have a 4.4 GPA and would like to maintain it) 5)moved apartments 6)two sisters moved (14 and 17) out so I'm pretty much an only child now. 7)starting to diet again, and work out I'm excited. 8)going to warped tour this year again! I'm hoping to look decently skinny by then (June 17) 9)fuck the world? 10)yes, fuck the world.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

2/20/17

Dear somebody, My step sister showed me a picture of my boyfriends ex girlfriend. She is perfect. I've seen her around school, and now knowing who she was, and how they were (she also said they were good together), I can't help but walk through those double doors looking forward to education but dreading my new constant insecurity walking around the same halls as me.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

I almost spilled my biggest secret to my biological sister. One that I can never tell. I can never tell anyone in my family. I would kill them. It would kill them. Silence is the only bandage on my fathers death. I am the only person who knows why he truly died. And I hope it stays that way.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

The tumors are progressing faster than I'd like. I have a consultation with a surgeon in the next town over on Friday but idk. I feel like it won't do anything. Four doctors have all told me they are MOST LIKELY limpomas. I know it's not. I feel it, I can't explain. I understand people are looking for the best, but no one understands. I am the only one experiencing all of the problems and is living it daily. I know something is wrong, horribly wrong. I just want someone who looks past the optimism, and believes me.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

I'm at school, in chemistry. I always ditch this class and just go home. The one day I actually stay, half the class 'went to the library' and I'm here sitting awkwardly and quietly on my phone with popular juniors and this guy who's sort of my friend. Idk. But seriously, why today.? Definitely ditching tomorrow.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

I live in a two bedroom house with six people. It's very cramped. I only dislike two people in that house, the sad part is they're the only ones that are my biological family. But I'm nothing like them, they don't like me, and that's just house it is. Today I had to restrain myself so hard to not beat the shit out of one of them, I might have slight anger problems. The moral of the story is however, I just have to make it two years and 139 days, until I can go onto college and leave forever.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

I feel my soul mate, they are close by. I just have to find them.. I know it does sound terribly crazy and absurd, but I feel him. I feel the love of my life near me, physically and mentally. Either here or a town or two away. He is attractive in a cute nerdy way, he has brown eyes and shaggy hair. He is a year or two older than I am. I sense him, much like sensing a spirit present but it's constant. He lingers 24 hours of the day and it drives me nuts.. I already have fallen in love with him, I hope when we meet at last, he feels the same way about me.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

My step sister is preppy, confident, sporty, fit and good body, beautiful and rarely if ever gets the smallest of imperfections. We get along, we make fun of each other in a fun playing way. But she truly hurts my feelings when she says I'll be alone forever, I have no life or friends, I'm ugly, I'm disgusting. I am, and always have been since sixth grade a shy nerdy girl with glasses, low self of steem, bullied through my school career so far, and acne issues. Two oppisite, accurate stereotypes coliding. How will it end? Let's wait and see.

[rippedjeansandconverse]

I have tumors and it's taking forever for anyone to do anything about it. I'm stubborn and impatient. I have a strong gut feeling, and have for six months that it's most likely cancer due to the fact it's in my gene pool.