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[ritalacochona]

Source (Season 2 - February 15th 2024)

sambaschutte: Today’s Crew Shoutout: the brilliant @taikawaititi aka Blackbeard🏴‍☠️ This man’s ability to improv is breathtaking. All season he was basically submerged in water tanks, oceans, rain storms- while wearing heavy leather- and killed it☠️ Always ready to play, always ready to slay🖤

[ritalacochona]

okay but I love that

Ed canonically rode Jack's chode so hard he almost snapped it

Stede and Mary had THEE most awkward, lacklustre lights-off sex

Izzy is theeeee slut of the Republic. Everyone gives him mad respect because they know he can take them (not in a fight)

None of them are each other's 'first' by a long shot! They're all experienced, for better or for worse. With the exception of Stede, they've probably had objectively BETTER sex with other folks than a fumbling first time with each other.

But you cannot convince me that this fumbling first time between the three of them when they're all well into middle age, wasn't the best sex of their lives.

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God I'm such a sucker for dom/sub edizzy where Ed enjoys domming because he gets to come up with endless fun 'fuckeries' (or.... scenes), and Izzy enjoys subbing because he's fucking gaga for Ed in all his Whacky Weirdness (affectionate), and god DAMN, this stressed-out little chihuahua-man needs to turn his mind off and just exist.

But it gets stale, eventually.

Ed is the flavour of neurodivergent that needs endless variety, whereas Izzy is the flavour of neurodivergent where everything needs to be the same forever, please, or I will have a nervous breakdown. Plus, neither of them have any idea how to manage each other's emotional needs!

Ed topdrops HARD. He requires a lot more aftercare than Izzy, but Izzy is kinda awkward and embarrassed about giving it, and is definitely awkward and embarrassed about needing it himself.

It's like, the 1700s. Neither of them have read 'the new bottoming/topping book'.

So, obviously, things crumble.

To the point where one time, they're setting up a scene, just going through The Familiar Motions (which to Izzy are such a source of comfort, and to Ed a source of growing torment) when Ed reaches his emotional broiling point. He crumples to the floor in tears, tugging at his hair, tearfully confessing to Izzy that he can't do this, he can't, he can't -

Cue Izzy panicking, tied to the bed, halfway to subspace already, now jolted out of it and adrift in a tidal wave of brain chemicals, his only thought what the fuck did I do wrong? Is it me? Is he tired of me?

(because deep down, he's been afraid of that for some time)

But his captain obviously needs something. And Izzy's gonna try his best to give it.

He's tied up to all four bed posts. He can't move, can't fucking get to Ed to stroke his hair and kiss him and do all that other soft shit he should hate a whole lot more than he does. But he can flop back on the pillows, staring at the ceiling. Coralling his spiralling thoughts.

He has to hold it together, for his captain. Has to do this, for him.

"C'mere, Eddie," he says, but his voice is all broken and scratchy and weak, so he clears his throat, tries again. "Eddie. Here."

And Eddie, snivelling, underlip trembling, comes. All dressed up in his leathers, beard big, shoulders broad, looking the very part of Blackbeard. Except for his tear-filled brown eyes - which are looking at Izzy so fucking warily, like Ed expects him to give him a fucking scolding.

And - yeah, maybe if this had been in the middle of a firefight, Izzy would've. But it's not. it's just the two of them, together, and right now, hurting Eddie is the furthest thing from his mind.

"What d'you need?" he asks, all gruff. Tugging at the ropes, rough hemp chewing on the tender insides of his wrists.

Ed gives a petulant little shrug. Fucker. Izzy's not a mind reader; he can't just intuit...

But... maybe he can. Ed's shoulders are shrunken, his spine stooped. He looks like a wet fucking cat. Pathetic. Useless. All the things the great Blackbeard should never be.

But Blackbeard is a myth. Eddie's a man. And Izzy knows better than most, how men can act as one thing and deep down, be another.

He thinks of the moments when he feels so fucking small and useless and broken. How Ed makes him feel good... And, glancing at the persistent bulge in Eddie's tight leather pants - how neither of them have said the word they agreed on, that'd bring this whole farce to a close - Izzy knows just what to do.

He licks his dry lips. Either this works, or Blackbeard snaps and kills him. Luckily, Izzy's always liked the thought of dying at his captain's hand.

"Wanna be mine tonight, Eddie?" he asks.

Ed's eyes go wide. Then narrow. Whole fucking face journey, mashed into a couple seconds: surprise, anger, fear, relief. Izzy waits patiently for him to settle, gripping the ropes that hold him spread-eagled for his captain's attention. Heart fluttering in his chest like he's staring down an oncoming enemy battalion: outgunned, outmanned, but still hungry for the fight.

"C'mon then," he says, nodding to where, despite it all, he's still half-erect too, bare cock plump against his scarred thigh. "Up here, there's a good b-boy."

His voice almost breaks on the last word, every instinct screaming at him not to demean his captain in the way he likes to be demeaned. Ed's so much better than him, brighter and sharper and fucking brilliant; he's not so weak as to need this. Or at least, he shouldn't be. Right?

But it's hard to focus on that when Ed crawls over him, danger in every movement, sleek and lithe as a jaguar. Fucking beautiful.

Then he ducks his head to bury in Izzy's neck, over his swallow tattoo, and nods.

"Good boy, telling daddy what you want," Izzy whispers into his hair - the same words Ed was supposed to say to him, when all this was over. He feels his captain sigh against his swallow and go deliciously slack.

It ain't what Izzy likes, as a rule, but for Ed... for Ed, he'll do damn near anything.

...Then Izzy gives Ed a healing dommy sloppytoppy, all while still tied to the bed, Ed crying while he rides him into the mattress. They hug after and hold each other, but not for nearly as long as they should. And everything hurts like an infected wound, but they can't stop picking at this thing they call a relationship until it scars.

[ritalacochona]

💫 Direct hit 🤭; Stede & Izzy

[ritalacochona]

i want so badly to do another edizzy edit but fiona apple's extraordinary machine is literally all just about them and i DON'T KNOW WHICH SONG TO PICK

[ritalacochona]

My turn today. So what if...

Stede and Izzy eventually start fucking, but despite Stede's repeated attempts at romance, Izzy ignores him and keeps it casual. He never stays the night, never kisses him in front of the crew, doesn't even let Stede hold his hand. And Stede doesn't know why (maybe he really doesn't like me like that?) until one day when a raid goes badly and Stede almost gets killed, a drunk Izzy spills the beans to Jim:

"Never get attached, it's not worth it, nobody lives long in this business. Especially good people, they always go first."

And Stede overhears it, of course. And the next day he starts working harder in his captain lessons with Izzy, asks Jim to teach him to use knives, asks Wee John to teach him everything about gunpowder and the rest of the crew helps him with guns, cannons and yes, even fist fights, and he gets so much better at fighting that eventually he is the one who saves Izzy's life in a raid.

And Izzy has to fight the urge to fuck him right then and there in front of the crew and the hostages, because that was the hotest thing he has seen in a long time.

(he resists until they are back on the Revenge, that's all, they leave the crew with the loot and block the door and don't get out until the next day)

(and Stede is sort of badass now, but he is still a gentleman and insist on being soft and romantic to Izzy and the man simply blushes and lets him)

[ritalacochona]

Source (Season 2 - December 15th 2023)

puertoricaninja: Chaos Dump pt…? 🏴‍☠️🫶🏽✨

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[ritalacochona]

Con O'Neill

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Same picture

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On this fine morning thinking about another fav headcannon: drunk Izzy = horny Izzy.

Though not all alcohol makes him so. Rum? Nah, he's fine. Beer? Same. But give him wine or brandy and oooh boy. Stede's getting dragged away somewhere dark and private where Izzy rides him till they're both spent and satisfied.

[ritalacochona]

If you haven't seen Con's episode of Midsomer Murders (or you just love watching cheeseboi Jim), I compiled his scenes. Please enjoy one of the most absurd roles he's played.

ETA: Oops, meant to say the full episode is available to watch here on Tubi right now.

[ritalacochona]

Support me on Patreon or send a tip on Kofi!

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SM ToT

Prints, stickers etc!

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. From left to right, full body of Nandor, Guillermo, Nadja, Laszlo, Colin, and the Guide sleeping on a plush red velvet bed together, snuggling in a line. Nandor is in a patterned tunic and trousers, feet bare, and is spooned up behind Guillermo with his right arm around his waist, hand reaching across him to Nadja's hip. His left arm is stretched out above their heads and his right foot is bent up to wedge itself between Guillermo's legs. He smiles dreamily as he drools into Guillermo's hair. Guillermo is wearing a black tee shirt, grey sweatpants, and white socks. He is laying on his side, back snug against Nandor with his right arm thrown around Nadja and his left arm trapped against his chest. His right leg is hiked up over her thigh. Nadja is wearing a loose dark purple chemise with long sleeves, fishnet stockings held up by suspenders, and no shoes. She is laying on her back, mouth slack in sleep, with her right arm wrapped around Guillermo's shoulders and her left arm thrown up above her, fingers tangling with Nandor's. Her legs are splayed akimbo, right knee fighting for space with Nandor's foot between Guillermo's legs and left leg tossed over Laszlo to tangle their ankles together. Laszlo is wearing a cream nightshirt and socks with garters and is tucked up against Nadja's opposite side, face wedged up in the crook of her neck. His left arm is tucked around her waist, wedging under Guillermo's arm to touch his fingers to Nandor's. Both of his legs are tucked up beneath Nadja's left hip, left leg lifted slightly to hook their ankles together. Colin Robinson, fully dressed in an argyle sweater, cords, and dress shoes in various shades of beige, is spooning Laszlo with his legs tucked right up against his. His left arm is threaded under Laszlo's to reach Nadja, where he idly palms her breast. His right arm is braced against the bed for his head to lean upon. Colin appears to be the only one awake, and looks up at the viewer with a knowing smile. The Guide, also fully dressed in black boots, skirt, jacket, and gloves, is spooning Colin, almost as if she snuck into the cuddle pile after everyone else was already in bed. She smiles contentedly with her cheek pressed against his shoulder, hands gripping his shoulders and knees tucked behind his.

2. Same image in a close up just on their heads. /end ID

[ritalacochona]

Omg I absolutely love it!!!!! That's amazing. I want Izzy to run to his room and lock the door. When Stede asks what's going on, the crew is silent, Ed goes all Blackbeard and Black Pete spills so fast, Swede confirming. When Ed tries to go inside the cabin, Izzy refusing to respond. Jim and Frenchie block Ed from trying to break in. The rest of the crew band together holding Ed off.

So precious @ritalacochona ! Izzy losing his leg and all that mess and at first being convinced that all the symptoms are a result of his amputation, only to realize the truth. He still holds onto this despite for under baby, so unsure of what to do and even more unsure of how to handle the crew suddenly being so worried about him. And then the night he tries to flee comes and suddenly they’re helping him through a labor he always believed would be private. He’s frantic and panicked and so so ashamed, but the crew is just worried about making sure he and Worm are okay amidst their own terror lol. But they love her so immediately and are so protective of Izzy and his girl. Yet they have no clue how to react to his insistence that Ed and Stede can’t know about it.

[ritalacochona]

Yes! I love that!! The crew arguing amongst themselves whether to tell captain's.

Tell: Lucius (we're on a ship, how are we hiding a baby?) Black Pete ( doesn't want to lie to Blackbeard), Swede ( Literally can't lie convincingly) Buttons (believes Worms crystals won't develop if she is invited to stay by the captain's or some other magic) Olu and Fang (think it's no life for a kid to be hidden on the ship)

Don't tell:

Jim and Frenchie ( if Izzy says he doesn't want to, then we don't say shit) Archie (snitches get stitches) Roach and Wee John (interested to see how this dramw plays out) Spanish Jackie ( Spanish Jackie minds her business)

Zheng and Aunty are also not told because they would tell the captain's immediately.

Just like s2E4 they nearly come to blows. Izzy stops them.

So precious @ritalacochona ! Izzy losing his leg and all that mess and at first being convinced that all the symptoms are a result of his amputation, only to realize the truth. He still holds onto this despite for under baby, so unsure of what to do and even more unsure of how to handle the crew suddenly being so worried about him. And then the night he tries to flee comes and suddenly they’re helping him through a labor he always believed would be private. He’s frantic and panicked and so so ashamed, but the crew is just worried about making sure he and Worm are okay amidst their own terror lol. But they love her so immediately and are so protective of Izzy and his girl. Yet they have no clue how to react to his insistence that Ed and Stede can’t know about it.

[ritalacochona]