rivertakis

[rivertakis]

we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?

[rivertakis]

That post I made over new years had people at my THROAT for saying I only buy real leather. Sorry I really do think that wearing textured plastic that will fall apart in under 5 years and go on to irreparably poison the environment is the worse option here.

[rivertakis]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[rivertakis]

[rivertakis]

RAaaahh 💁‍♂️ Trans Rights!

[rivertakis]

My cats wanted to fight again and I wasn't letting them but the passion in their eye contact suggests they started fighting telepathically

[rivertakis]

*cools ur dashboard down*

[rivertakis]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[rivertakis]

got a phonecall from my dad and he said "hey. you gotta come out here. i want you to see something" in a very serious tone so i went outside and

Bnnuy

[rivertakis]

*Dictating suicide note to my secretary who is typing it in on a big antique typewriter*

*Phone rings, i go to answer it*

Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. I see. Thanks. *hangs up*

Sharlene you can go ahead and cancel that, i've just been informed that We're Back

[rivertakis]

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

[rivertakis]

Fresh off the market this ->🐕 little dog now only $4.99! Get in quick!

[rivertakis]

Hey im gana leave my dog here can you keep her safe?🐕

yes yes of course i will keep your dog safe

[rivertakis]

⚠️Ace attorney5 spoilers, blood⚠️

Mother dismantler

I finished ace attorney 5 and I LOVE her

[rivertakis]

[rivertakis]

He knows exactly what he's doing

[rivertakis]

N