rizadyke - Tumblr blog

[rizadyke]

so did that the vampire get the job

[rizadyke]

Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

[rizadyke]

i miss when actors all had normal human teeth

[rizadyke]

Twitter users are defending their right to assume Picasso was a renaissance artist. Tiktok users think watching any film made outside the US makes you a snob. “Replace classic lit with YA and fan fiction” discourse is flourishing. I think we’re just living in anti intellectual times.

[rizadyke]

Taylor Sw*ft swears like she’s afraid the word is going to bite her

[rizadyke]

[rizadyke]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[rizadyke]

just curious as they're always things i've never questioned just doing but people in my life are often surprised that i don't mind doing them alone

🔁 pls reblog for sample size

[rizadyke]

[rizadyke]

[rizadyke]

[rizadyke]

there needs to be a jesus on the cross emoji that i can use any time i have to go to work in an hour

[rizadyke]

i am skeptical you could do that actually, tiktok user

[rizadyke]

i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy

[rizadyke]

sliding scale of posts about Jesus being a carpenter who was nailed to a cross

[rizadyke]

>i sit on a throne and people come up to me one by one displaying different items

>with each item i yell out "yonic" or "phallic" and then wave them away to a door to the left or right of me (depending on whether its yonic or phallic)

>guy comes up with an item thats too difficult to label as yonic or phalic

>i pull a lever to the right of me that opens a trap door under his feet sending him to fall miles down to his death as we are in my floating cloud castle

>categorizing continues as normal

[rizadyke]

Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me