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5 Ways to Spot a Good Online Date

Online dating can bring some unknowns. Sometimes it can be hard to separate sincere people from the players. Fortunately, there are key things you can keep an eye out for. Here are 5 ways to spot a good online date.

They are upfront

When reading profiles keep a look out for mentions of their intentions. If someone says they are looking for something casual or just want to have fun, believe them. If that is not what you’re looking for then do not t waste your time on them. Meet someone who has the same outlook on dating as you.

They send personalized messages

If you receive any generic messages do not immediately get too excited. It can mean someone is simply copying and pasting in order to blast as many people as possible. On the other hand, if someone sends you a note and they mention stuff that is relevant to your profile then you will know they took the time to read about you and who you are. That means they are seriously interested in getting to know you.

They post pictures

When checking out someone’s profile, see if the person you are interested has pictures posted. And make sure it is not just of their face. Look for various types of pictures such as full-body, being active, showing an interest in hobbies, etc. This will give you a better view of who they are and shows they have nothing to hide.

They use correct grammar

We are not talking about being the grammar police to every little, tiny word. If someone uses proper grammar and correct punctuation it demonstrates they took the time to proof read their profile. It shows they want to put their best self forward and showcase themselves in good light.

They share information about themselves

You can not get to know someone online if they are closed off and not sharing. If someone is hesitant to share details about themselves it could mean they have something to hide. When someone is genuinely interested in online dating they will be open to sharing things about themselves. Start with asking questions and if they are willing to answer them then chances are they are authentic.

Always listen to your gut when it comes to online dating. Use these tips and you’ll be on your way to finding someone genuine.

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Online Dating Etiquette Tips Everyone Should Follow

Online dating really isn’t all that different from real life dating. There are unspoken rules and your behavior can have an effect on people’s lives. When it comes to online dating, you may think you can throw all etiquette out of the window. But just because someone is behind a computer does not give anyone license to treat this like a game. Here are some online dating etiquette tips everyone should follow.

Respond to messages within 24 hours

If you received a message from someone who seems interesting, make sure to respond within 24 hours. Doing so keeps the line of communication open while it’s still fresh in their mind. Waiting any longer could signal that you’re not interested. If you want to take etiquette to the next level, respond to all messages, even those you are not interested in. Be upfront by sending a simple “thanks but…” note. It takes little time and allows that person to move on instead of holding on to hope that you could be interested.

Give the other person time to respond

With the instant gratification we get from online communication, we know it can be hard to wait for a response. Remind yourself that people have lives and things can get busy with work, hobbies, and just life. Try to hold off on following up immediately after sending a note. Sending a second message shortly after the first one can make you seem needy and desperate. It could also decrease your chances of getting a reply.

Be selective

Don’t send messages to any and everyone just for the sake of. Reach out to those who have really piqued your interest. When you start communicating when them you’ll sound more authenticate and genuine versus having it feeling forced.

Let the other person talk

Yes, your potential date wants to hear all about you and who you are. But they also want time to tell their story. Don’t dominate messages or conversations with information solely all about you. Your date wants a chance to showcase who they are too. And you should make time to listen in order to assess the match.

Be honest and be yourself

Although you always want to show yourself in good light, don’t embellish too much. Don’t lie about your occupation, don’t cut your age by a decade and don’t use a photo that was taken 5 years ago. The truth will eventually come out. Be who you are and be proud of it!

Etiquette basically boils down to one thing, treat everyone online how you would like to be treated. Be respectful, truthful, and don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to their face.

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How to Move On After Being Rejected by an Online Date

You made the first move but never heard back. Your message exchanges were funny and frequent but then it goes radio silent. You talk on the phone and text and back forth but suddenly you’re ghosted. Rejection happens to the best of us. The key is in how you handle it. Here is some advice on how to move on after being rejected by an online date.

Don’t take it personal

It can be hard to tell someone’s state of mind, so don’t take it personally. If someone is in a bad mood they are more likely to find something they don’t like about you. It just happened to be bad timing.

Evaluate your feelings

Even with the above in mind, feeling hurt is normal. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Acknowledge the feelings so you can begin to move forward from them. Harboring negative feelings long term never does anyone any good. Make sure you express your feelings instead of repressing them.

Take a step back

It could be helpful to take a step back and evaluate what happened. Take a look at the interactions and honestly assess if there was anything you could have done differently. Your self-esteem at this point may have taken a hit so when doing this keep things in perspective by sticking to the facts.

Love yourself

Being rejected can lead to negative self-talk. You start to beat yourself up which gives your self-esteem even more hits. Be kind to yourself! Recognize you’re not perfect, and neither is anyone else. Accept the experience for what it is without any harsh judgements. To counteract the negativity, write down a list of all of your positive traits.

Silver lining

Think of it this way, sometimes it’s better to recognize that it wasn’t going to work out. Accepting this sooner rather than later will help you move on. Finding out now is better than investing more of your time in someone only to find out down the road it doesn’t work out.

Keep on moving on. Don’t let this stop you from taking shots with people in the future! Not interacting with anyone ever again is no way to live. You don’t have to let rejection get the best of you. Learn to cope and get back out there.

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How to Get Noticed When Online Dating

In a sea of online dating profiles, it’s easy for anyone to get lost. So, what can you do to stand out? It’s not enough to just go through the motions. When it comes to online dating you need to be strategic. Here are some tips on how to get noticed when online dating.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Having a good profile photo is a must. Make sure yours stands out! It’s the first thing people see when browsing through profiles. Invest the time to take a good photo. If you need some help, see additional tips on how to take the best online dating profile picture. And while you’re at it, make sure you upload multiple photos to your profile to showcase the many sides of you.

Be your true self

Your profile is your time to shine. This is your chance to introduce yourself to the world and showcase who you are. Keep it positive, honest and concise. If you’re not sure what to write you can include things like hobbies, simple facts about yourself, things you enjoy doing, etc. Don’t use anything cliché. Try to keep it interesting, for example you can include a book you just read or a new restaurant you recently ate at.

Proofread

Before you publish your profile, ask a friend to give it a read. They are able to provide an outsiders perspective and let you know if you sound too negative, have pictures that don’t flatter who you really are or provide too much information. This is also a good time to review for any typos or grammar mistakes.

Keep it fresh

Once you’ve completed your online dating profile, don’t let it just sit there. This is not a “set it and forget it” type thing. A good rule of thumb is to update your profile seasonally. Add new things you’ve done to your profile and change your photos to more recent ones. Doing this makes sure your profile represents who you are today.

Make the first move

What better way to get someone’s attention than to send them a message! Be bold and make that first move. Women, this goes for you too. The days of waiting for the guy to make the first move are gone. Men don’t receive as many messages as women, so you’ll immediately get noticed. Go ahead and send that first message!

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5 Things to Keep in Mind When You Start Online Dating

The thought of online dating can seem both exciting and terrifying at the same time. Congratulations on making the decision to take the plunge and enter the world of online dating, welcome! It’s an amazing way to meeting many different types of wonderful people. As you make your way through this new world, here are 5 things to keep in mind when you start online dating.

Build your profile

We know sometimes it can feel awkward to talk about yourself. But your online dating profile is where you want to show off who you are. It’s your time to shine! Writing some details in your description gives people more information about you while also providing more chances of someone reaching out to you. If you need some help with your profile check out these tips to improve your online dating profile.

Be open minded

Increase your chances of finding someone special by keeping an open mind. Try not to pigeon hole yourself to an idea you have molded in your mind. Dating someone different than you can open you up to new experiences; so, do not completely write someone off just because they have different interests. You never know, you could wind up discovering a passion for something you never knew you would like.

Use caution

It is easy to get caught up in the fantasy of online dating that you forget some people pretend to be something they are not. If someone seems suspicious to you or starts to ask for personal information that makes you uncomfortable, be sure to report and block them. This will keep you and everyone safe.

Have proper expectations

There’s nothing wrong with wishing and daydreaming, but realistically speaking, the chances of you finding “the one” overnight are pretty much nonexistent. But it does not mean they are not out there! Go into this with realistic expectations. Just as you are perfectly imperfect, so is everyone else. This is your opportunity to take your time meeting new people and truly find who you want to date.

Keep your head up

Online dating has the potential to get time-consuming and at times discouraging. It’s easy to spend hours upon hours playing around with your online dating profile, browsing other profiles and messaging people for dates. Make sure you are making the effort to meet people in-person so you are not wasting your time. Also, keep in mind rejection is part of the process. It’s not personal, sometimes the chemistry is just not there.

When you start online dating it can seem a bit overwhelming. Don’t overthink it! Going through the journey is half the fun.

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How to Stay Sane While Online Dating

Many questions can come up when you start online dating, it can be a bit overwhelming sometimes. The number of messages in your inbox, not knowing who to respond to, and getting rejected are a few concerns. It be hard to stay sane while online dating. If you’ve been struggling with your online dating life, here are 4 tips to make it more manageable.

Have an idea of what you want

Before you start looking for someone you should have an idea of what you’re looking for. Do you want a relationship? Are you looking for something more casual? Knowing what you’re looking for will help filter out people, so you can focus on getting what you want. At the same time, don’t have unrealistic expectations in your mind of how this person will be. Keep an open mind and don’t shape every interaction to fit this perfect story in your head.

It’s not personal

Rejection is never an easy pill to swallow but make sure you keep things in perspective. If someone didn’t respond to your note or just ended up falling off the planet after a few messages don’t blame yourself. There is no way for you to know what is going on in that person’s life that caused them to act this way. Simply keep moving forward and know it’s part of the online dating process.

Your time is valuable

You may go crazy trying to respond to each and every message. Thoughtful messages, such as someone mentioning something that showed they took the time to read the detail in your profile, deserve a response. Even if you don’t feel the person is a fit, if they took the time to read your profile, be polite and send a quick note back. Also, you don’t have to wait for people to come to you. Be bold and make the first move!

Let nature take its course

When you finally connect with someone it can be hard not to get overly excited. Remember, sometimes what you have in your mind is different from what the other person is thinking. Don’t force something to accelerate or try to mold it into something it’s not ready to be. Stop fixating on the final outcome. And while you’re waiting for everything fall into place, just keep enjoying your amazing life.

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How to write an eye-catching online dating profile

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How to Recover from a Bad Date

So, the first date didn’t go quite how it had played out in your head. Now you’re feeling confused, embarrassed, and anxious. Relax! We’re all human and we’re all going to encounter the not-so-perfect date at some point. Here are some ways you can recover from a bad date.

Take a deep breath

Simply taking a step back and thinking through what happened can help put things in perspective. Chances are it’s not a bad as you think. And if it is, then you have a good story to tell. Evaluating what happened can help you determine if it’s something that can be fixed.

Review what happened

Think through why the date didn’t work. Was it lack of compatibility? Was your date late? Did you have food between your teeth the rest of the night? If it was a compatibility issue, it’s a good thing you found out early. If your date was late, that’s something that could be discussed and fixed for future dates. If you had food in your teeth, just laugh it off. It happens to the best of us!

Own it

If you were the one that caused the date to take a wrong turn, own it. Apologize if it’s something big such as an insensitive comment or being distracted by your phone. If something embarrassing happens or you catch yourself saying something awkward, then deal with it head on and talk about it. Don’t ignore it, simply acknowledge that it was embarrassing. Your date is probably just as nervous as you are, and it will likely be a relief and a way to lighten the mood.

Don’t beat yourself up

You may start blaming yourself for a date gone bad. Remember sometimes it’s just a matter of no chemistry existing between two people. That’s neither your fault nor theirs. It’s something that happens so don’t take it personally. We are all perfectly imperfect so it’s time to let go of unrealistic expectations.

Try again

As much as you want to crawl under a rock and stay there forever after a bad date, don’t go into hiding. If you like the person and want a second chance, say so! What do you have to lose? If not, don’t let this experience put a damper on your outlook. Give it some time and the dust will settle. Your next date could be just what you’re both looking for.

First date jitters can get the best of us. Don’t let a little mishap ruin what could potentially turn into a wonderful relationship.

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Spring Clean Your Love Life

Spring Clean Your Love Life

There is something about Spring that makes us want to clear things out and start fresh. Perhaps it is the colorful landscape of new flowers blooming in the shining sun. Before you begin spring cleaning your home, start with spring cleaning your heart. Here are 4 things you can do to sweep away the old and start new.

Forgive

When you have been hurt, it can be hard to move on. Holding on to anger is not doing you or anyone any good. Forgiving can be liberating. When you forgive, you release anger and pain. You will feel lighter and as if weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. You are then able to move on allowing you to let love in again.

Stop Holding on to the Past

As a relationship progresses, we begin to hold on to things that remind us of specific moments. When you keep that old picture frame she gave you or that sweater he let you wear all of the time it is a constant reminder of the past. You want to start looking forward to the future. It is time to donate those items, so they have a new life as well. You will be able to move forward without this extra weight holding you down.

Make Room for Those Who Matter

When your life is full of negativity or people not treating you the way you deserve, you do not have the room for people that matter. It is time to put an end to relationships or friendships that no longer serve you well. Make room only for those who are uplifting, supportive, loving, and helpful. Those are the people who should take up the space in your life.

Self-Care

This is a good time to look within yourself and make improvements. Focus on getting healthier. The better weather is a perfect time to get outdoors. Practice self-love and empowerment. Think of the great things about yourself and believe them. In addition, you can also make some outward improvements. Buy some new clothes, get a fresh haircut or go get that shave. It is fun trying something new to welcome the season and open yourself up to new possibilities.

April showers bring May flowers so get ready to have your heart fully blossom this season!

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How to Politely Reject an Online Date

Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news but there may come a point when someone reaches out and you just do not feel the chemistry. What do you do? How should you handle it? Is there a way to politely reject an online date? Here are some tips to gently let people down depending on what stage you are in the courtship.

At the first message

At this point you do not know the person so you are not vested. If you are not interested, it is common place to simply ignore the message (not respond). Take note of the words “common place”. That does not mean polite. It is always best to respond especially if the person took time to personalize the note. If someone took the time to reference specifics about your profile, the least you could do is politely decline so they have closure.

If you’ve been chatting

Most people will tend to want to disappear from the conversation when no longer interested. If you have only had a few chats or your chats have been limited, it is fine to stop the conversation. But if you want to end things in a respectful way, be honest. Tell them what is on your mind and why you want to move on. Thank them for the conversation and be clear that you no longer want to continue forward.

After a first date

This may be the hardest one of all. Everyone realizes that moving from online to meeting in person can change the dynamics. Declining someone after you have met in person can be intimidating but do not procrastinate. If you feel the chemistry is not there, do not waste each other’s time. Open the conversation with something positive about them, then let them know you do not feel a connection and end with thanking them for their time.

At the end of the day, treat them how you would want to be treated. It takes a lot of courage for someone to reach out to you. Have the courage to let them know if you are not interested so you can both move on.

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What Taxes have to Do with Dating

When you think of dating, taxes may be the last thing on your mind. You may be thinking to yourself “What do taxes have to do with dating?“. While dating someone, you can be blinded by love and throw any caution to the wind. The way someone handles their taxes could be a good indication of how they handle other affairs in their life.

Finances can be a taboo topic to discuss. This is especially true early on in a courtship so do not bring this up if you are just looking to have a good time with someone. But as you progress, or you are in a more serious relationship, it is something that should be discussed. If your date cannot get it together to file and process their tax responsibility it raises a big red flag.

Some warning signs you should look for:

filing a last-minute extension

not filing at all

having to be reminded constantly

Filing a last-minute extension shows they are not on top of things and demonstrates complete procrastination. Not filing at all is a huge red flag that you don’t even want to mess with. And lastly, do you really want to be with someone that you have to constantly nag to get them to do things?

There are no excuses for not filing taxes. It is part of being a responsible adult. There are many different ways to file. The method should not matter as long as they get it done. If they cannot get that part of their lives in order, they are not ready for other parts of a meaningful relationship.

This is the time of year you take stock of your finances. It could also be a good time to have a conversation with your significant other about the current state of their finances.

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Why Spring is a Perfect Time to Date – Spring Love

Spring love

Ah, spring. Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, and the sun is starting to shine its rays. There are many reasons to be excited about spring and dating is one of them! Spring love is in the air. It is time for you to shed that winter coat and meet someone new. Here is why spring is a great time to start dating.

The end of hibernation

Spring time is when we (and all animals) come out of hibernation. We shed those bulky clothes and start dressing a little lighter (hello skin!). This is also a time when more people start going outside. Go ahead and ask that online crush out for an in-person date!

A season to renew

A new season means a new time to start fresh. With spring comes the feeling of new possibilities. It is time to leave that winter baggage behind and start something new with someone new. Get out there and see what the possibilities of online dating could bring!

It takes two

Spring just beckons outdoor time, making it a perfect season to find that someone special. Think of all the wonderful outdoor activities that are more fun to do as a couple; walks on the beach, going for a bike ride, spending time outside. It’s not only nature that’s blooming, it could also be your new-found love.

More sunlight

The new spring season gives us more than just warmer weather, it also gives us more sunlight. There is something about light that makes us want to do more and get out of a rut. Spring time is perfect to use that extra daylight to find a date.

It is time for you to get out of that winter hole and start something new this spring. Once you step outdoors you will see that love is in air this season.

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After a breakup: to rebound or not to rebound

The ending of a committed relationship can leave you disoriented and heartbroken. It can feel like your world is ending. You are full of emotions and sometimes it be hard to know how to move forward. Your first instinct may be to avoid everyone but that may not be the way to get over a heartache.

Conventional wisdom leads us to believe that you should avoid dating including finding an online date. But new research shows that rebound love could be helpful. Sometimes it’s better to get back out there instead of moping around for someone who probably didn’t deserve you in the first place. Rebounds can help you manage the pain of a breakup and also help you feel less lonely.

There are different types of rebounds. There is the “classic rebound” where you immediately start dating someone new and things get pretty serious fairly fast. Then there is the “casual rebound” where you lower your standards and hook up with anyone who glances your direction. A rebound can range anywhere in between. If you think a rebound will help you, keep these things in mind and proceed with caution:

– Make sure you do not make any hasty moves that you will regret later – Do not expect your new date to make up for your ex’s shortcomings – Move slowly, you do not want to end up hurting your new date – Make sure you are upfront and honest about your feelings and intentions – Be sure you do not have any unresolved issues from your previous relationship – Practice some self-care so that your new date gets a fresh slate – Keep things positive, try not to bring up your ex at every conversation – Do not act clingy, this could be a good time to reconnect with long lost friends

Rebounding can sometimes have you running towards the opposite direction of your previous relationship. This does not necessarily need to be a bad thing since this could be a way to fulfill some of your needs. Do not be afraid of a rebound as it can help you move on. If you do decide it is for you, make sure you are honest with yourself and getting into it for the right reasons.

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How to Flirt Online

Some things can get lost in translation when communicating online. But even so, you don’t have to shy away from flirting. Use these tips to learn how to flirt online and improve your game.

Give a compliment

A good compliment can open the door to more conversation. If you can, try to make it about something based on their profile rather than solely on their looks. Remember that the more info you have in your profile, the easier it is for someone to feel comfortable starting a conversation and flirt with you. Pick something that you like about them and turn it into a question for greater chances they’ll respond back. Don’t overdo it with the compliments or else it can start to seem obsessive and creepy. Try to keep it to one compliment per topic. And women, men like compliments too! They rarely receive them, so it will make you stand out if you give him one.

Keep it fun

Go into it with a light heart and be playful. Don’t treat it as if you’re trying to make the person fall in love with you. Flirting should be a fun-filled conversation full of laughs and a good time. Ask a quirky question, find something you have in common, send them a cute video you saw or tell them something funny that happened to you today. Don’t ramble too much about your own life, you don’t want to seem self-absorbed. Keep it concise and to the point. Any sexual innuendos should be left out until you’ve gotten to know the person better.

Be clear of your interest

If you end up getting in touch with someone you enjoy communicating with, let them know. Don’t just say it was nice chatting; that can be interpreted as just being polite and as it’s the end of the conversation. Instead, be upfront and let them know that you’re looking forward to chatting some more. Showing your enthusiasm can be reassuring for the other person. Or if enough conversation has taken place online, make the move and ask them out on a date in real life.

Flirting online shows you’re interested in someone and could pique interest in the other person. Go ahead and make that connection confidently with these tips.

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From Online Dating to First Date In Real Life

Your online dating profile is up-to-date and intriguing. You have an amazing profile picture. You’ve been in contact with people and have chosen an online date to finally meet in real life. Here are some tips to make the best of your first in-person date.

Meet Sooner Rather Than Later

Do not wait too long to make that in-person connection. After a few digital communications, if you feel comfortable and safe, it is better to meet in person soon. As time passes, fantasies can start setting in. Meeting in person will bring you back to reality, helping to properly set expectations. This is easier done when both parties are local. If you are long distance, set up a video chat date. You will be able to see if there is a connection that could lead to an in-person meeting at a later time.

Safety Comes First

A lot of the tips concerning safety for online dating is geared towards women, but men should take precautions as well. In general, when meeting someone for the first time:

Meet in a public place Never meet at your dates home or in a private or remote location.

Tell friends or family Let them know where you will be and who you will be with.

Bring a cell phone Have a fully-charged cell phone with you.

Find your own way to the date You need to have the ability to get out of there if things do not work out, so drive yourself to the date.

Red flags If your date seems too eager and starts asking questions that are far too personal, such as details about your finances, cut it off or at the very least proceed with caution.

End the Date Well

It goes without saying that the end of a first date can be kind of awkward. Did you both have a good time? Do you want to see each other again? Whatever your feelings, be sure you are honest with yourself and do not get wrapped up in your own fantasies. If your gut is telling you this is not the right person, do not string them along by telling them you will call them. There are many ways to move on in a nice way. Be kind! Simply thank them for meeting you and let them know you did not feel a connection. On the other hand, if you want to see them again suggest a second date. Then follow up the next day with some ideas. Whichever way it goes, be straight-forward and honest.

Most importantly have fun. It is exciting to meet someone new! Things can change when you meet in real life, but that change can be for the better.

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Opening Lines That Get Responses from Online Dates

It’s time to stop sending blanket, generic pick-up lines to every person you send a message to. If you’ve been wondering why you’re not getting any responses from online dates, take a look to make sure you’re incorporating these tips into your first messages.

A simple hello goes a long way

It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many first messages don’t include a simple salutation. Hi, Hola, Hey, Hello, What’s up, How’s it going. There are many ways to say hello, not to mention it’s a polite thing to do. Think about it, if you met someone in person you would say hi, why not emulate that in your online message?

Personalize it

This is important: take the time to read profiles. There’s nothing worse than getting a message from someone and it’s obvious they didn’t read the profile. Comment on something from their profile in your message. This shows you actually took interest in them and took the time to read about them.

Ask a question

Get the conversation started by asking a question. Asking a question gives them something to respond to so it’s easier for them to reply. Bonus points if you’re able to ask them a question that relates to something in their profile. For example, if you see they cook, ask them what their favorite dish is.

Write your opening message with confidence and be respectful. Remember the quality of your message is important. Now get out there, send your well-crafted first message and start getting replies in no time.

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What is an Icebreaker?

Have you ever wanted to reach out to someone online but weren’t sure what to say? We have a feature that lets you break the ice in a quick and convenient way! The aptly named ‘Icebreaker’ is a way for you to make initial contact to start more conversations with people.

At FirstMet, the Icebreaker feature is a casual question which is sent to many recently active members in one shot. The questions are usually related to one of your interests or are general conversation starters such as “How was your weekend?”. The Icebreaker is sent to members who you’re most compatible with and most likely to respond helping you connect with potential dates quicker.

 How to send an Icebreaker

Sending an Icebreaker is easy! Simply log in to your FirstMet account. You’ll immediately see “Icebreaker” next to your browsing options. Just click one of the questions and it will begin to send a message to potential online dates nearby.

Icebreaker messages are not sent without you clicking on them. No messages are ever sent out on our members’ behalf without the member actively clicking. If you receive an Icebreaker from a member you don’t want to talk to, you can delete the message or block the member from contacting you again.

Icebreaker Settings for Premium Members

Though an Icebreaker is a great way to start a conversation with multiple members at one time, you may reach a point where you don’t want to see them anymore. Premium members can opt-out of sending and receiving Icebreakers. This allows you to focus on who you truly want to connect with.

To change the settings, click “Edit Settings” under the Icebreaker header:

When you click on “Edit Settings”, you will be able to select your preferred setting:

Select the setting you want to update and click on Save.

Not yet a premium member? Log in to your FirstMet account and click ‘Upgrade’ to get this premium feature.

The beauty of Icebreakers is that it’s super easy! Simply select one of the questions to get the conversation started. It’s a fun way to quickly connect with others on FirstMet. Start meeting more new people and find more online dates today!

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