rkchangmin-blog

[rkchangmin-blog]

hello there ! this is long overdue, i hope everyone can look past it! you can call me micki and this sunset boy is changmin ! i used to be in rookies a while ago before the last season of the mgas and was kicked out before it began. finding out the mgas are starting up again, i wanted to take my chances and see if i could participate this time ! 

he’s not the easiest to get along with, is in constant denial of most things pertaining to himself especially his feelings, but is honest about his opinions and everything else. this mainly means he doesn’t like the spotlight but he does love singing and performing so that side of him is constantly conflicting. think of those shy idols who perform strongly onstage! i’m sorry i don’t have a lot of information up on him or an open plots page but i’d love to get things going for him. i think that was my problem last time, i took too long to get started ! 

please like this post and i’ll read up on your muse to create a starter or approach you with a detailed plot ! you can also comment if you have a preference for which one but i’ll probably message everyone who likes this ! you can also comment with a random word or song prompt ! 

thank you for all the welcomes and i’m really excited to be here ! 😄

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — ORDER UP

     whenever jihae visits the restaurant after school, he suspects she’s using it as an excuse to miss out on cram school but he can’t scold her. instead, he endures the wrath of his sister for letting her stay and help when she’s barely able to carry more than two plates. “  how’s my favorite worker?  ”  he jokes as she returns with an empty tray. 

     “  uncle, do you have a dream?  ” he doesn’t expect that kind of question in return and she must be taking after her mother too much if she answers a question with a jarring one of her own. 

     how lawyer-like, he muses, shaking his head as he sets down the butcher knife. 

     “  what kind of dream?  ” 

     “  for your future! do you want to be a chef forever? do you love it?   ” 

     “  why do you ask that?   ” “  because mom won’t tell me what her dream is!   ”  

     he chuckles, knowing his oldest sister as the hardest to get to express her feelings. it’s why she made such a great lawyer, her lips were sealed, in her private life and her work life. 

     “  it already came true for her,   ”  he tells his niece honestly, coming around the counter. wiping his hands with a wet towel, he kneels down in front of his niece, hands lightly on her tiny shoulders. “  her dream was having you.  ” 

     tapping her nose with a soft touch, he stares jihae in the eyes. “  she wants to see you grow up with everything you could ever want. don’t take how hard your mother works for granted okay? that’s why even if this isn’t my dream, i love it here. this is where your grandmother worked hard for us.   ” 

     what he didn’t know is that his mother had come back early from resting at home. 

[rkchangmin-blog]

hello there ! this is long overdue, i hope everyone can look past it! you can call me micki and this sunset boy is changmin ! i used to be in rookies a while ago before the last season of the mgas and was kicked out before it began. finding out the mgas are starting up again, i wanted to take my chances and see if i could participate this time ! 

he’s not the easiest to get along with, is in constant denial of most things pertaining to himself especially his feelings, but is honest about his opinions and everything else. this mainly means he doesn’t like the spotlight but he does love singing and performing so that side of him is constantly conflicting. think of those shy idols who perform strongly onstage! i’m sorry i don’t have a lot of information up on him or an open plots page but i’d love to get things going for him. i think that was my problem last time, i took too long to get started ! 

please like this post and i’ll read up on your muse to create a starter or approach you with a detailed plot ! you can also comment if you have a preference for which one but i’ll probably message everyone who likes this ! you can also comment with a random word or song prompt ! 

thank you for all the welcomes and i’m really excited to be here ! 😄

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — FAMILY BUSINESS

     his niece takes after her mother the most. it’s pretty damn intimidating to think a six-year-old could be more entrepreneurial than he could dream of being despite having eighteen years of wisdom he should have gathered by now. he’s watching her give a pitch to a few unsuspecting foreigners, her accented english adorable to hear and a bonus cute factor when it comes to sales. 

     yawning, he glances at the watch on his wrist, the face on the inner side, flat against the underside of his forearm. he thinks it’s more subtle when he checks the time but it looks more like a fashion choice than a sensible one. three hours of sleep and he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. some of the bracelets she has on display were his own handiwork and he chuckles as she regales all the methods and patterns she’d come up with, how many hours she’d dedicated to it on top of her ballet and piano lessons. she sounds entitled and changmin thought she was. no one could blame his sister for trying her best to give her daughter everything when, as children, they suddenly lost all of their privileges because of their hopeless father. 

     it makes him wonder why she wants to do this and it’s hours later until he realizes why. 

     she makes a request to stop by the market on the way home and she picks out multiples of the makings of sandwiches. the mumbling of how much she wishes she could give them kimbap causes him to furrow his brows but he doesn’t ask until he brings her home and she drags him into the kitchen to help her. sandwiches line the counter by the time his sister’s arrival catches him off-guard. compliments fill the room but he doesn’t get it until they’re heading to the car. 

     the homeless community in seoul isn’t as large as other countries but it does exist and he’s touched to see his own little niece proudly hand food out to everyone who’s willing to accept. with an elbow to his back, he’s aware of himself again and smiles sheepishly before lending a hand. 

     “  jihae-ah, next time let’s bring kimbap and drinks okay? uncle’s treat.  ”  he hadn’t seen her smile like that at him since she was a baby, with pure joy. it was worth it for that alone. 

[rkchangmin-blog]

you arrest me

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — FOREVER, ALWAYS

     his mother used to be the strongest person he knew. she could carry him  on her back to the top of namsan tower when he was a toddler. now when he looks at her and catches her busing a table when one of their employees is on break, he worries she’ll fall. old age and heartbreak hadn’t treated her kindly. she’s still as sharp in the kitchen as ever but she’s considerably slower and changmin pretends he doesn’t have to switch orders around once the waiters come for the dishes. 

     “  can’t sleep?  ”  he asks when she quietly slips downstairs where he’s sitting on the couch, but it’s a routine he knows by heart. most nights, changmin could count the seconds til she wanders out of her room for solace, peace of mind, just a break— any break from the thoughts running rampant in her mind. taehee once told him he’s lucky he didn’t get that trait from their mother, the overthinking and worrying, but he’s more unfortunate to get his father’s impulsiveness and lack of concern. 

     the steps progress more quickly tonight and changmin wonders if it’s because of his audition, if she questions if he’ll go down the wrong path again and stray from the family but she can’t seem to keep her distance from him. stolen glances and nervous hums as she prepares a midnight snack tell him everything he needs to know. she’s wondering if he’ll leave again, if she’ll blink and he’ll be gone. 

     he did this to her, the first he being his father, and now it’s him she doubts. when she eventually settles in next to him on the couch, asking vague questions to feign interest in the movie he was watching, he waits for the request that comes each time. 

     “  should we read a book together?  ” 

     the answer he gives is the same every time as well and he chooses his favorite childhood story like he does, a never-changing routine. just like the storyline, he carries her up the stairs when she falls asleep, tucking her into bed as he sings, 

i'll love you forever, i'll like you for always, as long as i'm living my mommy you'll be

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — MGA S4 PT. 5

     to go home with the unknown, with a possibility but no answers, feels awkward. the sensation prickles his skin, he feels cold when leaving the building even though he’s stepping in the hot seoul air, the summer lack of a breeze. there’s nothing to be said or done but to celebrate that he made it through. a win between siblings, a bet that he can now claim himself as victor. he takes out his phone for the first time that day and he calls his oldest sister first,  “ noona? you owe me dinner.  ” 

     owing him a meal is a fate no one wishes for. it’d be too cruel to wish on anyone else either. if allowed to, changmin could probably eat his mother’s restaurant to bankruptsy but instead he’s on the other side of the table, from bussing and serving in high school to cooking with the best chef he knows. “  no, i won’t find out today. i don’t think so,  ” he probably should’ve paid more attention to that part. “  i’ll let you know. then you both owe me dinner and i won’t be so kind.  ”  he laughs at the groan he gets in response, readjusting the guitar on his back and turning towards the street to walk on home. “  i really liked it. i mean it  ”

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   —  LADY, WON’T YOU SAVE ME

                                           CONTESTANT: SHIM, CHANGMIN, 24

                                     [    MGA PROFILE   ]  [   PT. 1   ]  [   POINTS   ]

 MY HEART BELONGS TO YOU   —  

    warming up doesn’t work. his nerves are fraying now, distraught and picked apart. the so-called secret of picturing the audience naked doesn’t work when you’re the one who feels completely exposed. hand on his chest, a deep breath, and he’s still unsettled. a quiet laugh slips out because he didn’t know his downfall, his weakness, would be a panel of judges about to hear him sing. in high school, you couldn’t pay him enough to stay quiet. singing was a way to pass the time, to tame the silence, and to fill his heart. when he sings, it’s personal, a piece of him escaping the longer he sings. a fountain of emotion when he’s usually stone cold. a statue that gives off one of the necessities of life, a necessity for his own life.

    choosing this song was easy. his life without music, without her healing touch, was empty. his oldest sister teased him that he was unfaithful when he chose acting and when he practiced the song for the first time, he feels the weight of her words. his voice had been unpracticed, rough and raw. a novice that couldn’t carry the notes without needing a deeper breath than should be taken for the sake of the sound. breathless, he was nearly hopeless too but there was a change in him as he let the instrumental play without him in that empty practice room. the soft echo of the piano, the loneliness conveyed through the melody wrapping around his heart, he was lifted. gradually, he came back to it, volume gaining as the same pace as his confidence and it brings him here now, a full practice room in the middle of the day.

                       MUSIC START : SIDE A (01:12 to 01:32) / SIDE B (01:39 to 02:19)

    the women in his life are the most important to him, his treasures, life itself. he thinks of their loss as well, of how he lost music, singing, a connection to his mother and sisters, when he left to serve and the distance grabs him by the heart, he struggles for breath with the first high note, as if he’s wasting away as he sings about it but he finds strength again, carries it in his voice, in his manner, because this audition wasn’t only for him but for them.

                          LADY, WON’T YOU SAVE ME? MY HEART BELONGS TO YOU

    he had to go, a temper that couldn’t be controlled and a need for freedom that couldn’t be tamed. it was a solution and a cure. his mind was reconditioned in the same way his body was, all in so he could come back and make them proud. his penance was misguided, his line of thinking naive, and he came home to a dissolving household, one he fights to keep together now. if he can be saved, can’t they?

                           LADY, CAN YOU FORGIVE ME FOR ALL I’VE DONE TO YOU?

    taehee doesn’t talk to him for weeks and he understands. what he’d done couldn’t be fixed but he could try, he could try to convince her he’s changed. the youngest, he’d been forgiven too much, given too much slack, and coddled when he should’ve been scolded. he was protected while his sisters were the ones left to fend for themselves. with an idiot’s grain of hope, he thought training and fulfilling his duty would prove him capable. now he knows how wrong he is. whether he passes the audition or not, this is his true apology. he pours himself into the song, laces the lyrics with his soul, and his heart is on his shoulder, vulnerable and for the taking. he doesn’t need protection anymore, all he wants is forgiveness.

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — MGA S4 PT. 4

     “  i should warn you about this one,  ”  he’s particularly proud of what he’s decided to show her the moment she mentions it. for how foolish he felt earlier, he starts to let go, to embrace that feeling and allow it to be a part of him he can show off. it’s about accepting himself, especially his past.   

     “  i can do anything angrily. say anything angrily too. so my warning is that i mean none of it against you, don’t take any of it personally.  ”  

     no props necessary, he acts out what should be a calm, mild trip to the bathroom, but he’s overcome with rage. it builds up the longer he’s in there and he’s rolling paper at an outrageous speed, hands swiftly moving before he gives up, tossing it aside, the gestures all timed and exaggerated enough to almost seem real. the table becomes the sink and he’s brushing his teeth, sighing until he feels the rush of time. now, quickly, bvrush! 

     the final move is just as ridiculous as the rest, the wiping of his mouth against the back of his hand and he’s laughing as he sits back down.   “  want to know my secret? i’m always angry.  ” 

     he needs an actual skill and so he brings in his guitar, hand held up as soon as it comes into sight.  “  don’t worry, no anger associated with the guitar.   instead, i want you to pick any song, hum it, and i’ll play the rest. can’t pick one?  ”  he teases lightly.  “  i’ll play.   ” he plays a few showtunes , but finishes off with a gentle,  “  one day i’ll know, how far i’ll go .   ” that’s what he wants from this competition, to know how far he’ll go too. 

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — MGA S4 PT. 3

     filling out reports and giving succinct recollections suit him more and feel more like home. talking too much, especially about himself, makes him uncomfortable. his palms begin to sweat and he’s chuckling nervously, skin feeling heavy with make-up when he’s unfamiliar with it. he’d modeled before, worn stage make-up, but there’s something about filming for national television that changes everything entirely. he’s astounded by how nerve-wrecking it is, by how his leg can’t stop shaking, and how he looks around him every few seconds, trying to take it all in, observing for tips and tricks on how to get through this but he just feels out of place again. 

     the first day he reported to the camp plays in his head, helping him filter out background noise and if he can survive that, can’t he make it through this? 

“ musical influences? ah... it’d be easy to say good music right? easy to say one of the companies participating but i like anything that touches the soul. there’s nothing wrong with catchy songs. i hum them as much as anyone else but... my audition song is one that i like for that reason, because it makes me feel something, because i hope it makes the listener feel something too. aren’t we performing? i’ve failed if you could listen to me sing and feel nothing. ” 

     becoming an idol wasn’t something he saw himself doing years ago and now, sitting in front of the interviewer, he shamelessly admits that,    

“  i don’t want to become an idol. not in that sense. if i could act, i would love to act. if i can sing, i would love to sing. if i can do both... that’s the best option for me.  ” the obvious answer is become a musical actor and not an idol but he still wants to be here.   “  i want to perform, it’s about making the viewers feel what i feel. if that’s what being an idol is, then i guess i do want to become an idol, but i don’t know how so that’s why i’m here. i want to find out. a short answer? i want my voice to be heard.  ”

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — MGA S4 PT. 1

     it’s how his sister tends to get him to agree to anything. a game they play and he’s on the losing side this time but it doesn’t feel like he’s lost much, not when he gets to sing again and his heart is racing at the prospect. this isn’t karaoke or singing in the barracks when things get real quiet, boring, and he’s the sole source of entertainment til the next assignment comes. this is a stage and he realizes how much he’s missed it once he receives his number. the wait feels too long, there’s too many people in front of him, and he quickly grows impatient. 

     there’s the tap tap tap of his soles against the ground and he pictures the lyric sheets to the song he’s chosen. to the song he tried to find over and over, narrowing down his list and broadening it again once he finds another artists he likes. choosing one song is the first challenge they put each person up to, because how can he choose one when he’s had a lifetime of songs to fall in love with? to grow with? to sing and feel with each word and note? 

     but he sees the outfits and props and overall aura of those before him. ill-prepared and out of his league, changmin tries not to panic but his nerves are shot and he’s shaking change in his pocket until he notes the glare of the person to the side of him. taking out his phone and calling his sister feels immature and like bad manners so he plays with the edges of his nametag, the handwritten hangul odd to read when he was used to a nameplate. putting the tag on his chest felt like second nature and he takes a while to realize he stands at ease every once in a while as the line moves and he gives the person in front of him personal space. 

     slender digits curl into the messy locks of his hair. it’s grown out since he returned and his mother is happy to see it, the most relieved to see him come home without news of a war or physical combat. he doesn’t want to tell her that training isn’t as cut-and-dry as it seems, that men like him who studied singing and acting aren’t viewed as practical. 

     it’s the scales and measures that changmin knows best. numbers and details given easily, jotted down and noted for later. ironic how things have turned out. months ago, he was doing this in uniform. now he was doing it for an aspiring idol competition. should he be here? was he too old for this? was he being foolish? he’ll never know if he doesn’t try. 

[rkchangmin-blog]

✴.   — MGA S4 PROFILE

FULL NAME: shim, changmin

BIRTH DATE:  94 - 02 - 18 

GENDER: male 

HEIGHT: 186 cm

WEIGHT: 61 kg

BIRTHPLACE: seoul, south korea 

CITY OF RESIDENCE: gwangjin, seoul, south korea 

PREVIOUS MUSICAL EXPERIENCE: 

guitar for 17 years, piano for 18 years (   3 years of lessons, the rest self-taught   ) 

7 years on/off experience of dance lessons 

attended sopa for singing and acting

graduated k-arts with a major in acting (   singing classes taken for elective   ) 

joined an acapella group in high school and university 

FAMILY RELATIONS: 

father ; shim changsun, professor, 54 

mother ; kim sohye, restaurant owner, 51 

older sister ; shim jiyeon, lawyer, 32

older sister ; shim taehee, interior designer, 29

paternal uncle ; shim chanhee, producer, 52

MAIN SKILL: singing 

OTHER TALENTS: 

instruments ; guitar, piano 

acoustic covers

can decently beatbox

can do anything angrily 

can reach anything on the top shelf (   disclaimer: probably put said item there in the first place   ) 

knows seoul dialect, busan dialect, conversation english, basic japanese

FAVORITE MUSICIAN/INSPIRATION: 4men, roy kim, jung joonyoung, eric nam, mugamgak, jooyoung, dean, yoo seungwoo, yoo seungho, gong yu 

IMAGE PROFILE: shimchangmin.jpeg

DREAM COMPANY: royal 

2ND DREAM COMPANY: trc / kt (   equally   )

(   ✗   ) Move the symbol between the parentheses if you agree to the terms listed by the audition guidelines and also agree to be present during the official dates of the MGAs Season 4.

[rkchangmin-blog]

This look 👌 // ‘운명 (The Chance of Love)’ MV