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[rkhani-blog]

drop notice ! 

hey everyone! i hate to be a sad bearer of news but i’ve officially decided to drop hani. i love this muse but i’ve noticed that none of her threads are very detailed with character development. not only that, but it’s been quite hard to actually think of any plots that would further her character and really, because of this, it’s been a struggle to keep up with her activity as of lately.  and so though i had a lot of fun with her, it’s with a lot of sadness that i take this muse from this universe. i hope she’ll be missed though! ; ; 

[rkhani-blog]

SAMSUNG C&T  

EVENT: ROUND 2  THEME: COCKTAIL  LOCATION : SEOCHO TRAINING FACILITY 

if confidence were a dress, hani would wear it well. she’s quite aware of her beauty, she knows what people have told her over the years, she understands that as far as conventionality, she is alluring. and yet the more she looks in the mirror, the more she dissociates the pretty face in the reflection staring back at her with herself. 

she doesn’t understand beauty; how in some places something can be considered more beautiful, while in others it’s quite simply not. she doesn’t know why people are ridiculed for looking a certain way. she wonders why she is more qualified to be a model than anyone else. who makes these standards, these rules for beauty? and who enforces them?

her role in front of the camera is as follows: charisma, posture, confidence. her poses are on point, her makeup is perfect, the outfit shows the outlines of her body -- the tone and precision she’s worked hard to achieve. she’s happy to be here, a home has been made in front of the lense that captures her in her prime. it’s what she’s done since she was little; a model since birth, a performer, a charmer, all since she can remember.

when she smiles, it’s genuine. when she laughs with the photographer ( even with the limited time ), it’s wholesome. it’s her job to look suave and sexy, the cocktail party theme is in the back of her mind. she knows how to pose, stretching her long legs while sitting on the sofa prop. she knows how to pout while her eyes stare invitingly. and everything else comes naturally as though her body and mind were built for this. the limelight shines on her perpetually, even without her knowledge.

she is more than beauty; she is grace, she is pleasing, and she is kind. a rose, enticing all those who witness her bloom.

[rkhani-blog]

hani hasn’t gone thrifting in a long time now. a lot of her time is being taken up at dance studios and working random shoots so the only thing even remotely like thrifting that she has time for is window shopping. not to anyone’s surprise, it’s definitely not as rewarding. she comes home with a tastes of dissatisfaction, rather than a cute new piece to add to her collection. but today she finally has a day off and she means it when she thinks, nothing could ruin today for her. 

she’s standing with her favorite store in view, ready to cross the street. she looks at her phone, some random text from chungha appears on her lockscreen. she doesn’t finish reading chungha’s message when she hears the woman standing next to her apologize. she looks to the other and then down where she’s looking. she jumps back when she notices that her dog is peeing on hani’s shoe. hani starts to chuckle and then her laughing picks up and she’s laughing so hard she’s almost crying. “ah,” she says wiping her eyes. “it’s okay. please, don’t worry about it.” she notices the light has turned. “the light. are you going this way? and really it’s okay, i’m out shopping anyways. now i have an excuse to buy some new shoes.” 

☀️️  a small accident

charisma starter for @rkhani !

finding a chest harness that’d fit such a small being was a harder task than she had anticipated. yet she had done it, proving once again that underestimating yoo jiae was like running into a door you already knew was there. the pink color made most people who stopped by to play with him automatically refer to meeko as a female, detail which the girl was quick to correct. if pink was her favorite color then she would, indeed, force her canine child to like it too.

she stopped by a green light, holding tight to the leash so he wouldn’t run into the moving cars ( not that he was stupid enough to do such a thing ), and standing next to a woman. sunday gave her a quick nod of awareness before returning her attention to the street in front of them. though a second later she decided to check on the tiny dog below, instantly gasping at the sight. “oh my good lord, i’m so sorry!” the small living cloud had one leg up, doing nothing more than peeing on the woman’s shoe. the weak yank she gave on the leash wouldn’t even be enough to move a feather, but the dog weighted much less than that, making meeko take a few steps back. “he’s so young he doesn’t know better!”

[rkhani-blog]

rkinho:

✎ ... 

He pushed open the door, the electronic recording of a bell tinkling somewhere near the back of the store. The smell was distinctive, one that took him back to the days he used to tug on his mother’s sleeve and beg her for a goldfish, or when he helped his sister acquaint her new puppy to his surroundings, the air tinted with the scents of food and bedding and shiny new squeaky toys.

He glanced over to Heeyeon with an amused, knowing glint in his eye, “What are the odds you walk out of here with twice as many animals as I do?”

“this is... insane,” hani says walking with inho into the pet store. she’s not sure why she suggested it, knowing that her will not to buy a new furry brother or sister for party is basically nonexistent. she tells herself that it’s not the time for another animal. 

hani’s eyes wander past the tanks of fish lined up on the shelves as they enter. they settle on a fat goldfish as it struggles to get through the crowd of fish. she giggles and wonders if party would mind if she bought one for herself, if she’d try to bother it. her attention is beckoned elsewhere. she looks to inho and her eyes melt, mimicking the smile that forms on her lips. 

“i think party and chungha would be mad if i bought another animal. unless maybe i came home with a ton of fish,” she says bending down to look at the other tanks. “or maybe,” looks back at inho. “what if i bought a hamster or a rat?” there were so many options, which is exactly the reason it was a huge mistake that she were here. 

she walks with inho to where the cats are. her heart lurches. “inho, this is a bad idea.” she can feel her heart breaking. “tell me i don’t need another cat.” they are here for him after all. why is she so susceptible to tiny fuzzy creatures? “tell me chungha will be angry and that party will only hate sharing attention with another fur baby.”

`old friends, new friends

[rkhani-blog]

rkchungha:

when hani speaks, chungha feels her heart lurch. she doesn’t understand why hani scares her so much. she doesn’t understand why _love _scares her so much. she’s so used to running from everything. most days she feels like she can take on the world. but as soon as someone shows the slightest bit of affection towards her – she scampers away, tail tucked between her legs.

chungha’s eyes are still blurry, but not blurry enough to miss the affectionate and gentle look on hani’s face. hani’s words wrap around her, and she feels warm. for a brief moment, chungha’s dread is filled with love, washing out all the negativity.

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hani’s heart soaks in the sight of chungha and swells with dismay. she assumes the look in chungha’s eyes only mirrors emotion in fractions of what she must be actually feeling and hani’s mind can only scramble for the right words and accompaniment of knowledge to phrase them. this is all which she is left without. she only has the attempt of empathy, yet she realizes she doesn’t understand chungha’s pain. she can fill her with words of hope, that chungha is only a step away from burdens and trauma’s no longer having a grip on her but hani regretfully realizes can’t promise those things. 

she thinks in moments like these, a touch could express all that words fail to. hani reaches for chungha, her thumb finds chungha’s tears and she wipes them till they disappear back into chungha’s skin. her cheek fills hani’s hand, warms it. she wants nothing more than to kiss chungha, kiss her until she forgets how much she hates loving another woman and how much she fears what people think of the fact that she does. with every fiber of hani’s being, she only wishes that chungha will bloom with pride one day, no matter who she chooses to spend her life with whether it be hani or someone else. 

"no,” hani says to chungha’s whisper of apology. “there is no need to be sorry.” she pushes back to look at chungha, grabs chungha’s arms from around her body and holds her hands. “we can wait. i promise, it’s not a rush. i’m happy with you no matter what. i --” she stutters. the phrase always wants to wander past her lips. she rebukes her forever slipping tongue; wait. “should we go home?”

☆ WHITE CONFESSION.

[rkhani-blog]

rkxminhee:

✎ ... 

she laugh softly at the girl worry about her short hair for braid, “don’t worry, i can do like little braids and other cute styles with it. I have a few little ideas.” the friend comforted her to keep her at ease with that situation. 

“ahh is it really a disater?” minhee looking surprised by her actual reaction, sure there was popcorn in the theaters but she end up breaking own snacks what not to save money and never really wanted to try it before until now. “sure! lead the way and teach me how to make the popcorn. is it actually made from corn like from the farm what not?” she asked curiously on the orgin of popcorn. 

“okay!” hani says excitedly. she watches minhee grab the movies and put them to the side. she smiles, “sounds good to me!” 

in the kitchen, hani pulls out a metal pot. “yeah, basically!” she finds the bag of kernels and then the bottle of olive oil. “so you just put a little oil and about three kernels and wait for them to pop. that’s how you know it’s hot enough,” she looks at minhee. she explains the rest of the recipe while cooking the popcorn. “tada!” she says when it’s finished. “see, easy. now we just have to add some butter and salt but not too much.” 

“do you want something to drink with this? i have water or ... soda,” she says looking in the fridge. “also, you can start the movie if you want, i’ll be there in a second,” she grabs the popcorn bowl and something to drink and joins minhee in the living room, ready for a real girls night. although she notes she wishes she had some good wine -- not just chungha’s soju. she shrugs, this will be a good enough night without alcohol. 

☆ GIRL TALK.

[rkhani-blog]

roses. a soundtrack for love.

… she decides she wants to stay here forever - wrapped in hani’s arms. they’re sitting outside in the middle of january, in seoul, and chungha feels nothing but warmth in this embrace.

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[rkhani-blog]

are you an escapist or someone who confronts the problem at hand?

“depends on what the situation is. i’m a super passive person so lot of the times i don’t really say i’m bothered when i am. but if it’s a problem that persists, i try to be honest with myself and confront it though.”

now answering honesty hour questions!

[rkhani-blog]

what do you like the most about yourself?

“well, hm. i don’t know?” hani’s stumped. “i don’t spend a lot of time thinking about myself. maybe my intellect?” she sighs and shrugs. “i’m really just not too sure.” 

now answering honesty hour questions!

[rkhani-blog]

Chungha is indeed a fine catch. What do you love about her the most? But also what would you change about her if you could?

“she is! thank you for noticing! well, how could you not?” hani says proudly. “oh gosh, what do i love about her the most? that’s so hard. i suppose, how brave she is to make compromises with herself to be with me. it was so hard for chungha to be with me for so long -- for awhile the only way she could be was if she was intoxicated. but she is so, so brave to have been able to work on moving past her fears. we’ve come along way and i’m so proud of her and our relationship. 

“as for changing her, i don’t think i would change anything -- which is probably a cheat answer but truthfully i wouldn’t. she wouldn’t be chungha without her flaws and i don’t wanna love anyone else but chungha.”

now answering honesty hour questions!

[rkhani-blog]

Have you broken more promises than you’ve fulfilled?

“not that i know of,” hani thinks to herself. “i try to be there for anyone who needs me. sometimes i think i give too much honestly.”

now answering honesty hour questions!

[rkhani-blog]

why do you like chungha?

“why do i like chungha? i don’t.” hani smiles. “i love her! as to why, well because she’s an enigma. i’m forever chasing her and like even though she’s my girlfriend,” she blushes at the word. “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to wrap my head around that fact. there’s that element to her that leaves me always guessing. 

“there’s also the fact that she’s effortlessly beautiful. like every time i see her i’m left breathless. she’s the most gorgeous girl i’ve ever seen in my life -- and i work with countless models from all over the world. 

“i also like how warm she is when she sleeps next to me, like that perfect in between temperature that’s so comfortable. i like how bashful she is when i hold her hand or kiss her. i like how she’s let me be her girlfriend even though it was hard for her -- still is sometimes. i like that she’s so brave in that regard. i like that she’s everything i’ve ever hoped to find in someone else. i like that i can see a future with her. and the list goes on; day after day i learn more things about her and i like, no love, them all.”

now answering honesty hour questions!

[rkhani-blog]

tell me about the worst pain you've ever been in.

“physical or emotional? i can’t say that i’ve ever experienced anything exceptionally painful physically that sticks out in my brain. like i’ve never broken a bone or anything of that manner. emotional though... 

{ ` tw; death & loss } 

“when my mom died, i was away in france. she had been suffering from cancer for awhile and it was sort of like this up and down rollercoaster, like she was getting better and worse and then better and then worse again. so, when i got the news that she was getting really bad again and tried to come home, she told me to say in paris. and i did and that’s probably biggest regret of my life because she died and i wasn’t there,” hani breaks here. 

“after that, i drowned myself in the rest of my semester so i wouldn’t feel anything and the summer when i got home, i finally was able to process it. i shut down and i really didn’t leave the house then. that was the worst period in my life. i really haven’t felt anything like that before or since. like i mean, chungha and i have had our problems and for awhile i felt really alone. but it was nowhere near that regret of not being there to say goodbye to my mother. i don’t think i’ll ever get over it.”

[rkhani-blog]

If you couldn’t do anything in the entertainment industry, what would you do with your life?

“probably stick to modeling or do something else in the fashion industry! like designing or being a buyer for a company or something! i can’t get away from my love of clothes.” 

now answering honesty hour questions!

[rkhani-blog]

rkchungha:

once she found an old t-shirt and shorts, chungha pulled her hair into a ponytail, “s’too hot.” she mumbled. she had makeup on, but she couldn’t remember that at the moment, so it would remain on until she woke up tomorrow. her tired feet dragged tired limbs to the bed, clambering in and getting under the covers. the smell of hani lingered on the sheets and it made her smile.

reaching out, chungha wrapped an arm around hani’s waist and scooted herself closer. she buried her face into her back and sighed in content. “hani,” she mumbled against her back, “are you awake?”

hani cringes slightly as she hears chungha’s slurred words. she feels the weight of chungha lay down on the bed and the shape of her body line up against hani’s back. when chungha speaks she feels her voice vibrate up her spine and it leaves hani fearful, of what to say or how to say it. she chokes on those words or lack thereof. she wonders is she should just pretend to be asleep. she stares into the dark of the room ahead of her as if she should find some way to conjure coherent sentences. 

she sighs slightly before letting chungha know that, “yes,” she is awake. although she wholeheartedly wishes she wasn’t. 

die for you . . .

[rkhani-blog]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNgX20khZDE/

[rkhani-blog]

@ahn.hani        7m

never fear, hani’s here

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