rkjinhyuk-blog

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

ljh_babysun: i got ur girl on panic 😎

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkbyungchan‌:

sms, u give me strength bro

➝ b ➝ BUTTCHIN?!?!?!?!?!?! ➝ do it i DARE U (ﾒ` ﾛ ´) ➝ i dont have a buttchin ur such a jerk…………  ➝ she is my daughter ➝ she can be ur daughter too ➝ she is OUR daughter ➝ but im her favorite parent and u just have to learn to live with that ➝ (⌒▽⌒) ➝ dont worry jinhyuk ur still solidly one of MY top 20 favorite ppl in the world

( SMS ➝ baby buttchin )

( ✉ ) ur right i could never do it ( ✉ ) ur too handsome it would feel like a lie ( ✉ ) haha ( ✉ ) are u... perhaps... asking me to... ( ✉ ) 😳 ( ✉ ) co-parent??? ( ✉ ) i accept... AND i’m gonna win back her love from u ( ✉ ) she’s young she doesn’t have taste yet but that can be taught ( ✉ ) top 20???????????? ( ✉ ) looks like it IS chicken and cola for one today... ( ✉ ) ask one of ur top 5 to deliver food to u instead! 

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkbyungchan‌:

sms, u give me strength bro

➝ changing ur name in my phone as we speak ➝ “lee jinhans” ➝ hehe ➝ ur back hurts?  ➝ MY back hurts from carrying our tama FAMILY alone!!!!! ➝ jk fine ur the reindeer (￣▽￣) ➝ if u bring me cola u can be olaf ➝ ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡ ➝ and maybe i’ll let u see my daughter

( SMS ➝ ur my whole world bro )

( ✉ ) how about i change ur name to... ( ✉ ) buttchin...? ( ✉ ) doesn’t feel so good does it.... ( ✉ ) if ur back hurts do you want me to give u a massage ( ✉ ) wait im mad at you ( ✉ ) oh ( ✉ ) yeah i AM olaf! ( ✉ ) ok fine i picked up some cola too  ( ✉ ) stop calling her ur daughter when she’s MINE  ( ✉ ) or i’ll eat all this chicken on my own

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkpwj‌:

( ... )

the long time no see only gets an awkward and sheepish shrug from him, though, as he’s not sure if he wants to start on that subject. jinhyuk isn’t the type to pry and ask about personal matters, but just avoiding the question in general would be nice. “nah, i haven’t quit. just been really busy.” an understatement, to say the least. he really shouldn’t even be pushing himself to continue working here, but… “i’m fine.” it’s not his life he wants to talk about with jinhyuk, anyway. as the man said himself, it’s the dumb topics like anime discussions and idle chatter that he wants nowadays. 

“do you really not have anyone else to talk to about anime…?” he frowns teasingly, though unable to stop the smile that stays on his lips. “missed me that much?”

jinhyuk struggles to hide his surprise as woojin greets him with a smile—it’s unusual enough that he’s caught off guard, but he quickly manages to arrange his expression into what he hopes is an organic grin. the last thing he wants is to make woojin feel self-conscious about a simple unguarded emotion, not when it makes him look years younger and happier. arms outstretched, jinhyuk almost goes in for a hug before remembering that as much as he likes his coworker, they’re not that close. his arms fall to his sides a little limply, but jinhyuk isn’t disappointed. they’ll get there one day, if he has anything to say about it. he has the power of god and anime on his side, after all.

woojin’s answer is perfunctory, but jinhyuk expects as much. he respects the distance woojin chooses to put between them and doesn’t push for more than he can give at the moment. the thought that he may be treating woojin like a feral wild animal does cross his mind, but jinhyuk quickly shakes it off. he doesn’t intend to; it just makes sense to let woojin come to him. “i’m glad you’re still around!” jinhyuk says immediately, sincerely. “don’t tell anyone but,” and here he lowers his voice, beckoning woojin closer to whisper, “you’re my favorite coworker.” he finishes off with a wink and puts his finger to his lips, silently imploring woojin to keep it a secret.

despite his assurances, woojin does look tired. it’s a vaguely familiar kind of exhaustion, and as jinhyuk sweeps his eyes over the younger man, he wonders if it’s not selfish of him to wish woojin would come back full time when he looks to be dealing with enough as it is. “i know you’re fine, but… take care of yourself, alright?” for my sake, he doesn’t add, though it’s true. “if you need to take some time off work—go ahead. i have your shifts covered.” jinhyuk tosses woojin an encouraging smile, pushing his own bone-deep exhaustion aside. he can survive like this a little bit longer.

a laugh bursts out of his mouth when woojin mentions anime. “i don’t!” he says insistently. “i really don’t, and the fall anime coming up are really good.” reaching into his back pocket, jinhyuk pulls out a neatly folded list. “i wrote down the top five i’m looking forward, but you gotta tell me which ones you have penciled into your schedule.” ah, maybe he’s a little too eager. grinning sheepishly, he tucks the list back into his pocket and clears his throat. “want to grab a drink? i’ll pay, since i did miss you.”

* shifting

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

warm yellow

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkbyungchan‌:

sms, u give me strength bro

➝ head empty cant read  ➝ w ➝ HEY ➝ I AM NOT MOTHER GOTHEL U JERK (`皿´＃) ➝ ur the mean guy in frozen elsa and anna hate u ➝ ur the stepmother in cinderella ➝ (〜￣▽￣)〜 ➝ im changing my passcode!!!!!! ➝ and throwing ur ramen out ➝ unless u bring chicken hehe

( SMS ➝ ur my whole world bro )

( ✉ ) how dare u ( ✉ ) HOW DARE U CALL ME HANS? ( ✉ ) my back hurts... FROM BEING STABBED ( ✉ ) BY YOU ( ✉ ) i can’t... i can’t recover from this ( ✉ ) ur dead to me

10 minutes later...

( ✉ ) fine im bringing chicken!! ( ✉ ) but ur not forgiven!!

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkbyungchan‌:

sms, u give me strength bro

➝ U NEVER ASKED FOR HER BACK ➝ U ABANDONED HER!!!!!!! ➝ dont blame me for ur own failures as a tama-dad ➝ wait ➝ what was that??  ➝ i cant hear u over the laughter of my happy family ➝ ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ ➝ if ur nice i’ll let u join us for sunday dinners 

( SMS ➝ ur my whole world bro )

( ✉ ) I ASSUMED U WOULD RETURN HER! ( ✉ ) I DIDN’T KNOW U WERE A VILLAIN! ( ✉ ) i didn’t fail at anything! u just cruelly kept her from me for so many years ( ✉ ) ur mother gothel from tangled...  ( ✉ ) im coming over to get my daughter back

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkbyungchan‌:

sms, u give me strength bro

➝ huh ➝ how straight haha jk no homo deleted ! ➝ wait  ➝ WAIT ➝ what do u mean “LENT” me  ➝ u ABANDONED her in my care  ➝ i’ve been taking care of her for years now!!!! ALONE ➝ she doesn’t even remember ur name  ➝ (`ー´)

( SMS ➝ ur my whole world bro )

( ✉ ) LENT MEANS IT WAS TEMPORARY ( ✉ ) u were supposed to give her back!!  ( ✉ ) ... ( ✉ ) how dare u ( ✉ ) after KIDNAPPING my daughter... ( ✉ ) u monster

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

* just dance

GAME X / AUG 24 & 25

very few things are made for him in the same way the game x tournament is. back at the spect8 dorms, jinhyuk would spend most of his precious free time playing everything from league of legends to mario party. when the group was at its most ‘jobless,’ he did two playthroughs of breath of the wild—a speedrun and a completionist one—before picking up cs:go. his closet is a shrine to consoles past and he takes care of his nintendogs religiously. a whole two days dedicated to games and the amateurs who play them? plus charity? jinhyuk can’t think of how things could get any better.

after perusing the offerings on the event’s website, he signs up to compete in just dance 2019. injustice 2 seems fun, but with the extra shifts at work, finding time to dance has been a struggle. jinhyuk misses his classes, he misses busking, he misses—the satisfaction of nailing difficult choreography, of falling asleep in the studio only to wake up to the music blasting, his body automatically following the moves he’d been killing himself to learn. he misses the stage too, but that’s a different sort of want, one jinhyuk knows he can’t have.

just dance might not be able to do much for the persistent ache in his chest, but he’s learned to be content with scraps—he’ll take what he can.

with byungchan in tow, jinhyuk drops off his contribution (old clothes, mostly his sister’s and hence very glittery, along with non-perishable food items) before registering for the tournament. he certainly isn’t the best dancer there, but jinhyuk likes to believe his experience and skills give him an edge over some of his competitors. while the bulk of his match-ups are a breeze, a few challenging face offs set his blood singing and his muscles straining to push himself over the edge to victory. sweat trickles down his back before long, but the grin never leaves his face. competition is fun for the hell of it. jinhyuk isn’t looking to win, really, just to enjoy himself (though winning would be nice. that tiny part of his heart still craves validation).

he plays against byungchan in between matches despite byungchan’s Beginner status. jinhyuk promises him it’ll be fun and vows to go as easy as he can on his friend, but byungchan is… spectacularly bad. jinhyuk doesn’t think he can suck badly enough to make byungchan look good. at the beginning of their (friendly) battle, the crowd gathered ends up cheering for jinhyuk. at some point, they start to beg jinhyuk to have pity on byungchan, and he’s trying, but byungchan is not a dancer for a reason. it’s a crushing victory. jinhyuk pats him on the back and says, “you’ll get me next time, buddy.”

(honestly, jinhyuk feels guilty until byungchan decides he’s mad at him. wins and losses, in the end).

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

@rkbyungchan

( SMS ➝ ur my whole world bro )

( ✉ ) byungchannie ( ✉ ) i need u to be straight with me ( ✉ ) remember that tamagotchi i lent u in the 2nd year of middle school? ( ✉ ) do u still have it ( ✉ ) or did u lose it ( ✉ ) OR WORSE ( ✉ ) did u let it die...

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

* shifting

the summer hasn’t been kind to him, but jinhyuk is past the age where he expects kindness from the universe as its default. with business picking up at yum yum chicken (and delivery people dropping like mayflies), his boss begs him to pick up extra shifts in desperation. and jinhyuk, having never learned how to properly say no even when he has too much on his plate, tells her he’d be happy to come in to work more often! just let him rearrange his schedule! it’s fine, he’ll manage!

it’s not as fine as he pretends it is. extra shifts means he has to cut back on the number of classes he teaches at the community centre, something he actually enjoys. his regulars are disappointed, but jinhyuk cites work issues and promises them things will go back to normal once things calm down at his other job. he’s not sure when that will be, exactly. his boss is reluctant to hire and train new people. jinhyuk doesn’t understand why, but he’s not inclined to argue with her about it either. surely she knows best?

he can’t pretend he isn’t tired, however. maybe he’s stretching himself too thin. no, jinhyuk knows he’s stretching himself too thin. but he’s used to this, to punishing schedules with few rewards, to denying himself the opportunity to be selfish and say no i can’t i’m sorry i really don’t want to—  

i’m helping, he reminds himself. it’s important. no one stops him from coming in during the weekends either, although he looks like he’s on the verge of death. woojin would’ve, perhaps, as one of the only co-workers jinhyuk likes and listens to, but half of the extra shifts he’s picking up belong to woojin to begin with. jinhyuk wonders why; it doesn’t seem like woojin, but they’re not close enough to discuss their personal lives. 

as long as woojin hasn’t quit, jinhyuk has faith this crunch won’t last too much longer. which is why he’s delighted to run into woojin as his shift comes to an end on saturday. delighted and relieved; jinhyuk hates saying goodbye, but he hates not having the opportunity to say it even more. “hey, woojin! long time no see, huh?” or maybe... long time, yes see? jinhyuk frowns. time passes slowly during the summer. “i was afraid you quit for a while there—who would i talk to about anime then?” well, there probably are some people out there, but woojin has the best opinions. 

“everything going okay?” he asks a moment later, gently inquiring. he doesn’t expect woojin to answer, but the implicit offer is there. i’m here if you want to talk. 

for @rkpwj !

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

Lee Jinhyuk • Radio Star ♡

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkseungwoo‌:

𝗦𝗠𝗦:  wei  🥰  ✉  INCOMING  ( 09 08 )  NEW MESSAGES !          ☇  athletic,  sure,  but heartbreaker?  ㅋㅋ         ☇  that would imply having the hearts to actually /break/ and ha…ha…         ☇  besides the only heart i’ve ever cared about is yours 👅        ☇  did you know  delete?  y/n        ☇  fun is more about showing rather than telling,  so prove it to me            someday soon,  yeah?  i’ll be the judge of that  👁️        ☇  hey … i’m offering myself  😌  what can be better than that  ㅎㅎ        ☇  or maybe we can plan something? your pick, hyung will pay ~~        ☇  because i mean it,  jinhyuk        ☇  i’ve missed you

( SMS ➝ noodle hyung )

( ✉ ) are u really going to pretend like the whole world isnt in love with u ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) my heart? but its urs already //_// ( ✉ ) ㅋㅋ ( ✉ ) its greasy here now ( ✉ ) how am i supposed to prove that to u...  ( ✉ ) cant you just believe in me ♡.♡ ( ✉ ) i never said i wanted you ( *deleted! ) ( ✉ ) hm... i dont think i should answer that ( ✉ ) but i dont want to exploit u... maybe we can meet for coffee sometime?

sent eight minutes later...

( ✉ ) ur really unfair hyung

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

PRODUCE x 101 • Forever Ethereal Lee Jinhyuk ♡

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

wooseokrk‌:

wooseok feels even smaller standing beside jinhyuk, no barrier erected between them to make sure the gap’s tangible. 

“hey,” he says, when all he wants to do is leave, to run away. “are you in a hurry?” 

(when he gets the news, the first thing he does is sprint to the nearest bridge to shout his sorrows amidst the seoul traffic. what he doesn’t manage to get out is this: i promised i’d stay with him. please don’t make me break my promise.)

sometimes, god can be cruel.

jinhyuk believes everything happens for a reason. used to, though it’s become harder to look for the silver lining in everything these days, to believe this is all part of some grand plan. you don’t fall this far unless you’re meant to rise in the future, his mother says, resolute in her belief that this isn’t an end. explain this, then, jinhyuk wants to respond, but never does, choosing to press a kiss to her cheek and thank her for the unwavering support instead. his mother only knows about one of his heartbreaks, after all.

the other is one he’s only ever admitted to himself, down four bottles of soju in the middle of the night. standing beside the han river, his toes curling into the grass, fingers wrapped around the neck of an empty bottle as he breathes in a lungful of cold air and yells, you were my first—and you left—

forgiveness is a virtue, or so he’s told. some days, he’s not sure if he has the capacity for it. not for this—whatever it is, the ruins of something, the ghost of what was and could have been—and not for him. jinhyuk isn’t sure if him refers to wooseok or himself—an amalgamation of both? his own feelings scare him sometimes, the depth of the hurt seems unnatural even in jinhyuk’s own mind. shit happens. it shouldn’t cut. it shouldn’t squeeze the air out of his lungs. it shouldn’t make him feel like he’ll never recover, forced to carry the weight of it for the rest of his life.

(he knows why it does, of course. knows too that this is largely of his own making. his fault. it’d be easier if he could convince himself to feel nothing, but jinhyuk has always been too much).

the air between them is stretched taut. jinhyuk’s muscles ache with the effort of keeping his expression neutral, or as close to it as he can manage. it really has. he could probably tell wooseok exactly how long it’s been since they last stood face to face down to the hour, but jinhyuk’s always been good at keeping track of nonsensical things. in the grand scheme, how long doesn’t matter when you’re convinced it’ll stretch on forever.

on his better days, jinhyuk used to imagine what he’d do if he saw wooseok again. in his mind, things unfolded less awkwardly than this. less stiff. in his mind, wooseok still looked seventeen, his face breaking into a familiar smile when he saw jinhyuk, wide and unabashed. in his mind, they fell together as if they’d spent no time apart. in his mind, he expected it to be easy. on his worse days, he’d think of turning away, of how to break wooseok’s heart like he did jinhyuk’s. he always came up empty and concurred he couldn’t pull it off. even the exercise left jinhyuk with a crawling sense of shame;  he didn’t want to hurt people if he could help it.

but wooseok was never people, and jinhyuk’s desires when it came to him were always complicated, tangled, knotted. even standing here, he feels both a hot rush of fury and deep-settled wistful ache when he looks at wooseok and finds a stranger staring back. his hands tremble, and jinhyuk tucks them into his pockets, out of sight. running his tongue over his teeth, he wants to ask if this is all wooseok has to say, but he continues while scanning the items. ”ah,” jinhyuk responds, with something akin to relief. “she’s hard to say no to, isn’t she?” he’d smile conspiratorially if—well. if.

the word studio lodges itself in his mind a split second too late. he flinches, then smooths out the front of his shirt with nervous, jittery fingers, as if it’ll distract wooseok and himself from the involuntary gesture. studio. it could be anything from painting to pottery, but jinhyuk is immediately transported to the dance studio they used to spend hours in, together, week after week. the memory of wooseok curled up against him, exhausted and sleepy, of jinhyuk’s heart beating in time with wooseok’s breaths, of his fingers neatly laced with wooseok’s is overwhelming.  

“you’re still—” why does this feel like the biggest betrayal of all? jinhyuk had assumed—naively—that wooseok left all dreams of the idol world behind when he fled. “you’re still training, then?” he cuts himself on the words. bites the inside of his cheek, the salty, metallic taste of blood nearly making him gag. “i’m relieved to hear that.” how much of it is sincere? too much, maybe. he doesn’t have enough spite in him right now. and wooseok’s dreams are—were—important to him.

the albums blur as jinhyuk stares at them too long and too intently. anything but wooseok’s face. the dull ache of him morphs into a stabbing sort of pain, a knife twisting painfully in his belly. i don’t want to do this, jinhyuk thinks miserably. i’m so tired of the way you make me feel—undone.

the bell clangs as the owner returns. jinhyuk scrambles for the safety of his idol smile, the polished expression he slips into like a second skin. at her words, his eyes flick over to wooseok, wondering if he’s the nice young man she wanted to introduce him to. “he’s a good boy,” she’d told him. “but he needs some friends. help him, if you can.” and jinhyuk had promised to talk to him. there’s irony in this. there’s tragedy in this too.

“we’re not friends,” jinhyuk says pleasantly, finishing wooseok’s thought for him. maybe they never were. “we’ve met once or twice before.” a lifetime ago, wooseok was home. now, he glances over at wooseok, one shoulder lifting in a shrug. see? he wants to say. i’m a big boy; i can handle the truth. just say what you mean and don’t hold back. he’s past expecting wooseok to treat him gently. the grandmother looks disappointed by his words, but they finish the transaction peacefully and he takes the bag of cds from her with an apologetic smile.

it takes a moment before wooseok is there, too near and too far apart at the same time. jinhyuk is acutely aware of his presence, of the way he seems… smaller up close, of how in the past, jinhyuk spent most of his time angling his head down so he could pay closer attention to wooseok. of how he’d curl in towards wooseok while the man in question talked. everything about his posture used to be about—

jinhyuk hesitates, waiting for something he can’t explain. “i—“

are you in a hurry? he can’t fathom why wooseok would ask. “not really. not these days.” perhaps it’s not entirely true; he works two jobs and dedicates a significant amount of his time to volunteering, but not hurry so much as a desperate attempt to fill his time. annoyingly enough, there isn’t much else on the agenda for today. “why?” he keeps his voice even and blandly interested, ignoring the way his chest tightens with a foreign emotion—hope, jinhyuk realizes. it’s honestly been a while. but he doesn’t know what he’s hoping for, exactly, or why, when he’s already resigned himself to watching wooseok leave again.

but it’s there, traitorous and faint, hope that this isn’t another ending scene.  

god, he’s a fool.

come with rain

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkseungwoo‌:

𝗦𝗠𝗦:  wei  🥰  ✉  INCOMING  ( 11 09 )  NEW MESSAGES !         ☇  yeah i guess it has been a while haha       ☇  no reason to remember me        ☇  do you even  deleted !       ☇  ahh you’re still no fun i see ㅋㅋ        ☇  but it’s okay i can reserve the tongue emojis just for u 😜       ☇  hmmm …  okay you got yourself a deal i’ll order sometime soon       ☇  only if u promise to stick around for a bit afterwards        ☇  we should talk       ☇  that sounds so serious ㅎㅎ  i meant we should catch up ! !       ☇  idk what u mean by sweet talker, i’m just being me  😌😌😌       ☇  is it working  deleted !

( SMS ➝ noodle hyung )

( ✉ ) u make it sound so ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) how can i forget u ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) ur right... new phone who dis? ( ✉ ) jk jk i remember u •ㅅ• ( ✉ ) the handsome one... the heartbreaker... super athletic for no reason... as tall as me!! //_// ( ✉ ) i used to be ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) im tons of fun! im the most fun person u will ever meet ( ✉ ) what do u want to do with that tongue 👁️👅👁️ ( *deleted! ) ( ✉ ) i feel so special ( ✉ ) i dont know if i can stick around... think it might be against company policy ( ✉ ) maybe if wooseok isn’t there ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) what would we talk about anyway ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) i’ll think about it! or maybe u can make me an offer i cant refuse ( ✉ ) ㅋㅋ dont play dumb ( ✉ ) sometimes i like to be sweet talked so i’ll accept it

[rkjinhyuk-blog]

rkseungwoo‌:

𝗦𝗠𝗦:  wei  🥰  ✉  INCOMING  ( 03 )  NEW MESSAGES !      ☇  oh .     ☇  image_attached    ☇  well! !

six minutes later

𝗦𝗠𝗦:  wei  🥰  ✉  INCOMING  ( 09 )  NEW MESSAGES !      ☇  this is embarrassing, haha ! !    ☇  first text in ages and it’s  deleted !    ☇  on the bright side? ㅋㅋ  at least you’re talking to m  deleted !    ☇  haha tell her i said hi too 😉😜    ☇  wow i mi  deleted !   ☇  so jinhyukie   ☇  long time ! !   ☇  how’s it going! !  what’s the point of having connections if they won’t        bring hyung some chicken time to time huh .  . .    ☇  jk ㅋㅋ  but i miss u 🥺

( SMS ➝ noodle hyung )

( ✉ ) is that it ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) guess so ( * deleted! )

six minutes later...

( ✉ ) oh... are we... ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) image_attatched ( ✉ ) it is! for u ^^; ( ✉ ) ㅋㅋ maybe i will! idk if she remembers u tho   ( ✉ ) havent seen u in a long time so ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) but pls dont use the tongue emoji when ur talking about my mom? ( ✉ ) long time... yeah ( *deleted! ) ( ✉ ) hyung~ ( ✉ ) i hope u know this is what we call... an Abuse Of Power ( ✉ ) order from us sometime and i’ll give u the employee discount ( ✉ ) if you miss me why ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) you have ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) i missed you t ( * deleted! ) ( ✉ ) ur still a sweet talker, huh?