rkmg

[rkmg]

VICTON (빅톤) - EYEZ EYEZ

[rkmg]

a little shut eye.

rkwon

though promoting may be tiring, of all their busy schedules, days at music shows are currently easily his favourite. when he thinks back to the long hours filming their newest music video or even the jacket photoshoots, being able to take the day at a more healthy pace feels like a blessing. he’s still having to get up at the crack of dawn despite not being much of a morning person, but at least he isn’t already worn out again before the sun even rises. having the potential to nap after breakfast is enough to make a long day feel less like a million hours. instead, it tends to fly from the morning til about noon. 

in his allocated break, he tends to focus more on eating and relaxing than sleeping. he’s not sure he could fall asleep with so many people around that he doesn’t know, after all, but when mingyu’s hand gently tightens around his wrist and tugs him down onto a sofa with him, he suddenly can’t help the yawn that creeps up his throat. “mhmm? so nothing’s changed since we were kids, then.” he teases,  tilting his head to rest his cheek against the top of mingyu’s head. he wriggles his arm to free it, wrapping it around his boyfriend to rub his back. “you just ate, though, and you’re awfully cuddly, so I’m guessing you’re more tired right now?” 

mingyu had wanted to tug won onto his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist and snuggle up against his chest, but he hadn’t. even now, he’s tempted to reposition and give in anyway, but he manages to hold off, a grin forming on his face as won distracts him from his thoughts. quietly, he even laughs at the comment, though he still rolls his eyes a bit and shakes his head. “yeah, i guess not. this is just who i am. i’m lazy, sleepy and hungry. i don’t know how i’ve made it this far in life.” truth be told, mingyu isn’t all that lazy in general, even if he will joke that he is. he may have a tendency of being unmotivated if he isn’t interested in the task he’s been given, but when there’s something he is passionate about, he’s a hard worker... just one that may deal with excessive yawning and stomach growls.

he feels comforted by won resting against the top of his head, then even more so once his boyfriend is rubbing his back. his eyes close and a warm, happy smile forms while he very quietly hums in delight. “mm, mmhm.” he very slightly and slowly nods along with his response, snuggling in even closer to the younger. “wanna nap..”

[rkmg]

a little shut eye.

september schedule starter for @rkwon !

after the day he experienced when filming for the music video, promotion days don’t seem so bad. waking up around 5:30 am is a lot better than 3:30 am, and mingyu was also grateful that they weren’t constantly on the run with no time for breaks or food. at around 7:45, they were back at the broadcasting station and had over an hour before dress rehearsals. even though they would have to be careful not to ruin their hair and make up, mingyu still ate as fast as possible so he could try to get a short nap in before 9.

as soon as his stomach was happy and content, he gravitated towards won before grabbing his wrist and guiding him to a sofa. once there, he sits and motions for the younger to do the same, though he doesn’t necessarily give him a choice in the matter. he tugs him down before he can even think to obey, then leans over and rests his cheek against his shoulder, one arm wrapping around his front and holding him close. “i’m always so tired.” he pauses, then adds with a smile, “or hungry... sometimes both.”

[rkmg]

〈♦〉AUGUST 10TH, 2020 → photoshoot.

mingyu was beginning to like having his picture taken. once, he felt kind of awkward in front of a camera. now, however, it was beginning to feel much more natural. that was a comforting thing for him given how much he desired to be an actor. if he can pose in front of a camera and feel comfortable, then hopefully that would lead him to the next step.

the outfits for the new album’s photos were ones that mingyu was really fond of. he especially loved the aspect of getting to wear leather in any sense. needless to say, one of the styles he liked above the rest, but they all looked fairly pleasing to him. after attending that fashion thing several months ago, he realized things could be so much worse and he could be in a position where he has no idea what kind of attire he’s looking at. he felt fortunate to not only enjoy the music of this comeback, but what they’d be wearing as well.

every time that he has to do something like this, mingyu's mind always ends up drifting to the fans. he finds himself obsessing over whether or not they'll like it, or if they'll be able to draw in new fans, too. being that they're still a new group, he knows that with each comeback they have nowhere to go but up... ideally, anyway. they'd have to release something really awful in order to manage not gaining any new fans and losing some of their current ones...

still, his brain doesn't rule out the possibility, even though it's not exactly a possible one. perhaps he just worries too much, or it's the pressure of still getting used to being in the spotlight this way. he feels like he has so many expectations and he's terrified of letting down those that he owes his success to. between his parents, trainers, his ceo, and all of the fans... it feels like a lot is riding on him. but, when he looks around and sees all of the other members of his group, he's reminded that he's not in this alone. even if one of them falls, the rest will be ready and willing to carry them.

[rkmg]

〈♦〉AUGUST 12TH, 2020 → start of the day.

3:30 am. it was an ungodly hour and mingyu didn’t know why he was being punished like this. it took every ounce of energy in his body to force himself out of bed, especially since it was so warm and comfortable. luckily, he didn’t have to put much effort into his appearance since he was going to be heading straight to get his hair and make up done. basically, all he had to do was be present, or at least physically so. his brain was about a thousand miles away, still practically in a dream world. it was too early for all of this.

when he was sitting in the chair, he kept accidentally nodding off. every once in a while, he’d notice that his head started leaning and he’d jerk himself awake again, causing the stylist to both scold and laugh at him. this is probably something that she’s all too used to, even if it is a bit of a struggle to work quickly and efficiently when the person getting their hair perfected keeps moving without being told to do so.

when 6 am rolled around, mingyu felt slightly more awake and alert. this is what time he prefers getting up, though he’d already been awake for over two hours. he dreaded to imagine what he would be feeling when ten more hours pass, and then he thinks he might literally drop dead when the twenty-hour mark hits. he did his best to enjoy it, and he did. he likes recording music videos for the most part, though the process always seems to take a toll on him. he just has to constantly remind himself that it’s only for this one day and then he can rest and there won’t be anything quite as intense for him to suffer through for a while... he just had to keep smiling, keep dancing, keep rapping... maybe this was going to be harder than he thought.

it wasn’t a bad experience, but it sure was difficult to endure. as the day dragged on, that only became even more true. once this was all over, he just hoped he could sleep for another entire day without any interruptions (unless it was his stomach growling so he could also eat enough food to last him days).

[rkmg]

warmth.

rkseonho

the teen perks up a little at the mention of his hyung thinking about learning a language, specifically because he mentioned english “i can help with english! if you ever want to learn something! i also started learning japanese but i’ve only studied that a little. mandarin could be fun to add on, we could have chinese fans too.” he rambles a little, having always enjoyed languages if only because it opens up doors to talk to more people. he doesn’t ever see a downfall the learning a language. 

“some of them just have really funny actions in them–like this one!” the video he pulls up has two guys standing across from each other and they’re both yelling something in japanese then one guy pulls out a banana while the other guy draws a sword. the video makes seonho dissolve into giggles, the teen so obviously amused by the video. “i actually follow this account, the banana guy always ends up with the wrong weapon!” 

curiously and intrigued by the offer, mingyu raises an eyebrow at seonho and slightly tilts his head. “oh yeah? well, anything would help me because i don’t know much when it comes to any of it. maybe you can teach me what little you know of japanese and then after that we can finish learning together... that’d be kind of cool.” he pauses for a moment, then adds, “but you should definitely help me with english when you have the time. i mean... i know some things, especially if it’s something i learned in the music i listen to, but it’s all foggy and sometimes it all goes right over my head. i need the help.”

it’s nice talking to seonho about this, especially since he seems just as enthusiastic and eager to learn as mingyu. he thinks he’d be a good study-buddy. once he is pulling up the video on his phone, mingyu scoots even closer and leans over to get a better look, laughing along with the younger boy. “i feel like i’m the banana guy in life.”

[rkmg]

[rkmg]

look after you.

rkwon

TW DIETING, CW FOOD

when he’d initially seen the schedule for their music video filming, the colour had drained from his face. he loves dancing but a long, almost torturous twenty-six hours of mostly that is far too much even for him. they’re not always moving, thankfully, sometimes they’ll stop to change clothes, but he hasn’t eaten since lunch and he’s starting to feel the familiar pang of hunger in his stomach that he’s been fortunate to have somewhat forgotten since he moved in with the kims back at christmas 2017. 

“at least another twelve hours, if we stay on schedule.” he delivers the bad news, though he hates the frown on his boyfriend’s features. mingyu looks tired, and he imagines he does, too. however, rather than rest them, spread the task over two real days, they just slap on a bit more make-up and bark a few more comments about looking alive. it doesn’t make a lot of sense to won, but he’s no businessman, just a regular person with a soul and at least a shred of empathy. “hang on,” he mumbles, reaching for his bag abandoned in the changing area and pulling out an energy bar. he settles back in mingyu’s arms. “it’s not much, but maybe it’ll help tide you over until dinner.” 

“twelve hours?” mingyu looks absolutely horrified before pouting and letting out a drawn out whine. “i don’t think i can keep it together for another two hours, much less twelve.” he sighs, closing his eyes as he rests against won. “i want you to write the eulogy for my funeral.” even though mingyu hates hearing how much longer they have to go, the thought of eating and resting does push him to stay on track. he doesn’t want to have to do this for any longer than he is supposed to. they’re already getting worked to death, he doesn’t want be awake a second more than he has to be.

his shoulders slump and he whines again when won briefly pulls away, though he is soon perking up the moment he notices what it was for. he holds his boyfriend to the best of his ability, though he is more focused on getting the energy bar open so everything else is sacrificed for the task at hand. once he manages to, he glances around to make sure none of the other boys are watching since he would feel bad and want to feed them, too. but, won is always his friend priority, even before himself, so he breaks it in half and offers it to the younger. “you eat some, too.”

[rkmg]

look after you.

♦ august 12th starter for @rkwon !

mingyu was already exhausted... and hungry. it’s like the day would never end. he didn’t know why they always worked them so hard when filming music videos. why would they risk their health and comfort like this? wouldn’t they be able to function better and give their best performance if they were well-fed, happy, and rested? why couldn’t it be split into segments instead of working them so hard for so long? they were questions he’d never have an answer to, and this process was just something he would have to eventually get used to. he wanted to be an idol, and he had to have known it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

they had a “break” briefly, though it wasn’t classified as such. actually, they were all in the process of changing, but mingyu tried to be fast about it. he needed a breather and this felt like the perfect opportunity. with tired eyes and a big frown, he walked over to won and wrapped his arms around him before resting his head against the younger’s. “i’m so hungry. i feel like i’m going to collapse... the worst part is that we aren’t even almost done yet.”

[rkmg]

warmth.

rkseonho

a few giggles leave the teen at mingyus school talk. it’s funny to think of his hyung in school, picturing the older zoning out in class–kind of like what seonho does right now. it’s a silly image for sure especially since mingyu hyung is so cool looking. though maybe thats what seonho looks like as well. his nose scrunches up thinking about it. perhaps this is a sign for him to start being a little more serious about his school work. he shakes his head, rubbing it against mingyus side as he snuggles closer and shifts the phone so that his hyung could see too. 

“not right now– i dont want to study anymore– but i’ve been thinking of learning mandarian at least.” he explains, gaze moving onto the stuffed lion being pushes against his nose. a grin forming. “a lot of really funny tiktoks are from chinese posters but i don’t know a lot of what theyre talking about.” he scrolls a little through his likes, sounds cutting abruptly as he skips videos. 

a warmth blooms in mingyu’s chest when seonho snuggles in closer and moves so that he can now look at his phone with him. he softly laughs at the younger claiming he doesn’t want to study anymore. mingyu certainly doesn’t blame him for that. that’s the same way that he felt after studying for a period time, regardless of how long it lasted. it’s always been difficult for him to focus on anything that isn’t something that he genuinely wants to be doing. he’s antsy and always looking for a way to stay occupied. that’s the very reason that he is currently invading his younger group member’s space right now to begin with.

“oh, really? that sounds cool. you should do it. i’ve always wanted to learn another language, but i can never seem to get too far. if i did, i think i would go for english or japanese.” mingyu’s nose scrunches as he grins, watches seonho as he puts the lion back down and scoots even closer to watch him scroll. “if they’re funny and you don’t even know what they’re talking about, then i think that says a lot about their humor.”

[rkmg]

a new sound.

rkseonho

there’s a weird warmth blooming in seonho’s chest as mingyu continues to hold him close and tight. a kind of warmth that makes him want to stay here for as long as possible. it makes his eyes feel heavy as they fill with water though he’s quick to blink it away while burying his face against the older’s shoulder. he hugs a little tighter to mingyu, going quiet as if to just savor the moment. he realizes that… 

this is what it feels like to have a family who loves him.

between baekhyun and jaehyun and mingyu and won, and all his other hyungs in the group, seonho really feels like this is becoming a family. that they’re all people he can lean on and go to for anything. he loses himself to these thoughts and this feeling of being safe and protected and loved. their conversation of comeback themes and who fits what concept is tossed away. he just wants to savor this. 

“i love you too, mingyu hyung.” he replies, muffled into the olders shoulder as he relaxes more. still making sure not to out his full weight on mingyu–not that it would be all that much. the teen is still much to thin and he’s sure mingyu is strong enough to handle it, but mainly he doesn’t want to throw them off balance. “i’m really happy we’re in this group together.” he continues, voice getting a little softer. 

“do you think we’ll be fam–friends for a long time?” 

typically, it wasn’t easy for mingyu to feel close enough to people for him to consider them family. it wasn’t impossible of course, just not simple. he also wasn’t big on physical affection, or at least not with those that he couldn’t trust with his life. in the past, the only people he tended to hug and hold were the ones that lived with him, which included won. the point was, it wasn’t natural for him. that only seemed to prove how much he had grown to love his group, especially seonho.

at this point, seonho feels like a little brother to mingyu, and he was beyond happy that he was able to debut with him. sometimes he still thinks about when they met so long ago, and how he immediately felt the need to take care of him and protect his feelings, putting his comfort and desires above his own. it was almost like they were destined to be this close, and mingyu hated the thought of ever having to lose him. he hoped de:code would go on for a long time, because moments like these filled him with so much joy.

he smiles softly when seonho says that he loves him too. it’s always nice hearing it, even if he always knows from his actions alone. “yeah, i know you do.” his words are so gentle and he softly strokes seonho’s hair for a moment before slightly pulling away to look at the younger boy. “i’m really happy, too. i’m also lucky since i have the honor of rooming with the warmest and snuggliest member of all.” he quietly laughs, then goes silent for a few moments at seonho’s question, trying to think of the right thing to say. “personally?” he pauses, running his fingers through seonho’s hair again. “yeah, i do. i think we’ll always be a family. i sure hope so, at least."

[rkmg]

펜타곤 (PENTAGON) - 감이 오지 (Can You Feel It)

[rkmg]

threadless,

rklino

he hums, tilting his head towards mingyu as he listens, chuckling quietly at his response. “you got it,” he muses, the corner of his mouth pulling higher in a more noticeable smile. “everyone will know you’re stylish and humble.” he says, trying to school his face into something more serious, but there’s a strain around his mouth that betrays him with strigled laughter. “jus’ waitin’ for your big break s'all. one day people will get it,” he adds helpfully, nudging the other gently with a soft laugh.

confused is right– minho doesn’t get a lot of these outfits. some have so many unnecessary accessories, some look downright uncomfortable to wear. “i mean…i guess i get it…kinda? eugh.” he scrunches up his nose and huffs. “i jus’ can’t imagine walkin’ ‘round in some of 'ese things and having people look at ya in them.” those are dangerous words to bring up; he’s seen some idol groups have the most gaudy outfits, and he hopes he didn’t just jinx himself with that.  "i guess they gotta be attention grabbin’, but some of these are a lil’ too much.“ he rubs at his arm lightly. "we’ll leave the fashion walkin’ to the pros.”

mingyu enjoys spending time in minho’s company. he has for a long time, since he felt comfortable around him before he even knew most of his other eventual group members. even though they aren’t vastly alike, he still feels a fondness for the older boy and he can’t explain it. despite the fact that he has no precise reason, he always seems to seek him out and try to connect with him one way or another. it’s nice listening to him chuckle along to their conversation. mingyu can’t help but grin, too. “yeah, obviously! you’re right, they will get it. i definitely hope so, at least. we’ll have to wait and see.”

he softly laughs at minho claiming to get it, yet not seeming entirely convinced. “you get it, huh?” his grin grows and he shrugs a little. “then you might have to enlighten me because i don’t... i’m trying to, but maybe it’s just too much for me to comprehend.” mingyu nods and hums in agreement, trying to imagine wearing some of these outfits in public. “i can’t either. the thought feels weird. and then people take pictures of those wearing them? i wouldn’t want that look immortalized. you’re right, though, luckily we don’t have to worry about it. that’s why those people are wearing it... so we don’t have to.”

[rkmg]

〈♦〉JULY 25TH, 2020 → recording studio. new world; can you feel it?

so far, mingyu has generally enjoyed the songs that they've been given. he considered himself lucky since he was pretty sure that there were other members that couldn't totally relate. learning the songs and recording them didn't feel like much work since he genuinely liked doing it. maybe he could do without being so busy for several days at a time, but that was just something that came with being an idol and he was getting somewhat used to it.

the last time he was recording songs, he doesn't recall feeling this good about it. during his early days around and after debut, he was rather insecure and felt out of place. thankfully, that was all starting to turn around for him. as more time passed, he settled into the routine and became more familiar with his activities and lifestyle. it wasn't simple adjusting when he'd been a kid that lived with his mom for a long time and just started tasting freedom when he was sucked into this, but it is sort of what he asked for. he couldn't complain too much when he knew that there were so many people that would kill to be where he was right now.

one thing that he did realize when he was recording is how much he desires to have more of a hand in their music in the future. it'd be nice if he could work harder and perhaps be recording some of his own raps one day. although he loves performing, dancing has never been one of his biggest interests. he is more drawn to the creative side of it and misses contributing and bringing ideas to life. he's always loved art more than anything, and when he is simply displaying what someone else had the honor of making, it doesn't feel quite the same.

still, until he could work harder and prove to everyone that he was capable and worthy of doing more, he was content. he'd just keep doing whatever they wanted him to do until he was trusted enough to do even more.

[rkmg]

〈♦〉JULY 24TH, 2020 → the music bank. special stage, ‘wild eyes’.

mingyu was excited to perform on stage again, especially since he would be debuting his new hair color. he wondered if the fans would catch on to their change in appearance and start putting the clues together that they were in the process of working on their comeback. usually they were pretty sharp and new how to recognize the signs, so he had a feeling the answer to that is yes.

even in the few days that they were unable to show their hair in public, he’s sure that some of them studied pictures that had been secretly taken when they were headed from one place to another, a hood or hat attempting to hide all signs of change. it was kind of weird, being so harshly examined by the public. it definitely wasn’t something that he was used to yet, and he didn’t think that he would be for a while. it would definitely take more than just a debut for him to feel as though he had comfortably settled into the life of being an idol.

it was thrilling and anxiety-inducing that he was now a part of one of the popular boy groups that do special stages like he used to watch. now, he was someone that tons and tons of other people were watching, which was a dream come true, but there was also a lot of pressure. that was especially the case when doing a cover of someone else's song opposed to one of de:code's. there would be fans that adored the original and will be looking for everything that they can call out and critique.

regardless, he was happy with the one they'd been given and it wasn't as difficult as he imagined it would've been. the choreo was fun but not overbearing at all times, so it wasn't too much stress on top of making sure that he still remembered every step of gorilla. (though of course he did, with as frequently as he had to do it. he still jokes that it could probably be performed in his sleep.) the most challenging aspect was that his rap was in english, which he certainly wasn't fluent in. it took a lot of practice and repetition for him to finally be able to get it out clearly and without a ton of mistakes. it was an accomplishment, though, and he was proud of himself.

so, when it was finally time to show everyone else what they'd been working so hard on, he wasn't as worried as he'd been at the start. it was starting to finally feel natural for him, and he knew that was a good thing. at this point, he was looking forward to their comeback and promotions so he can do this more often until he's sick and tired of it again and praying for a break. he doesn't think that will be a cycle that will be broken any time soon.

[rkmg]

it must be party time.

rkwon

he doesn’t know why he’s surprised after all this time that mingyu feels, to an extent, the same as him. he and his boyfriend have almost always complimented each other in the best ways, understood each other without any extra effort. at least mingyu doesn’t seem to want to stop for long either. perhaps they can dip soon and spend their night doing something more comfortable like cuddling or, well, probably just about anything. he feels stuffy in his tidier clothes, and even more so when he considers any eyes that might be on him. he leans in closer to his boyfriend regardless, tilting his head up to speak quietly a little closer to his ear. 

“same for me. my parents used to throw parties like this sometimes, usually for birthdays or anniversaries, but I was never allowed out of my room, so… it’s weird being a part of it.” he mumbles, though he isn’t really sure why he brought it up. it isn’t exactly happy memories for either of them, but he knows it doesn’t do any good to just pretend a lot of the first seventeen years of his life never happened either. “I’m so glad you said that, though, because that’s exactly how I feel, too. I don’t think it’s sad, per se. we’re still getting used to this kind of thing. neither of us are big social butterflies, so it’ll take some time to adjust, but I’m sure we’ll get there.” his voice drops to almost a whisper. “kind of want to go home and curl up in bed right now, though.” 

once won is responding to him, mingyu begins softly frowning, instinctively inching closer to his boyfriend to make it as obvious as possible that he’s here. maybe the memories aren’t as painful as they once might’ve been, but just in case, mingyu always wants won to be aware that he’ll always be by his side and always treat him with all of the care and love that he deserves. despite the fact that he knows eyes might be on them, he doesn’t think anyone will read too much into it if he puts his arm around the younger, so that’s exactly what he does. his hand rests on won’s waist and he pulls him as close to his side as possible and keeps him there. “well, you’re definitely allowed to be enjoying this one... i just don’t know how much there is to enjoy.” he softly laughs, weakly attempted to lighten the mood so he can see won’s smile to remind himself that he’s okay.

it’s somewhat encouraging to hear that won doesn’t think it’s sad, though maybe mingyu is still a bit disappointed that he feels this way. “that’s true. i’m not the popular kid in high school anymore. well... maybe i am. i was never super sociable then and i’m still not... i had basketball to keep me relevant, now i have the whole “being an idol” thing. still, other idols aren’t exactly bending over backwards to talk to me.” he softly laughs, leaning into won and soon quietly responding, “me too. do some snuggling while we’re alone... maybe sneak in a kiss or two.” 

[rkmg]

mingyu / 박수 (CLAP) mnet present special 171107