rlyfletcher-blog

[rlyfletcher-blog]

brooke: okay i think i found a condom in the trash can by the basketball game

brooke: i have so many questions starting with why, followed by, how, and rounded up with ew??

fletcher: sorry that was mine

[rlyfletcher-blog]

“Like you’d survive this long in a zombie apocalypse.”

“It’s been so quiet lately…did the zombie apocalypse finally happen and no one let me know?”

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mcryjcne.

          “Someone tried to steal Niall – again,” MJ said, pouring a goldfish out of a soda-turned-water cup and into its bowl. “What’s so hard to understand about no free stuff?”

As a resident thief, he’s not about to answer that question. Doesn’t want to sound like a hypocrite, instead he just settles for a frown, and a--- “The fuck is a Niall?”

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cecilywindsor.

“Don’t really care where you got it from,” She repeated in a low, nasally voice, rolling her eyes but failing when it came to not smiling to herself. Sometimes she wondered how it felt being so goddamn edgy all the time. Maybe she’d try it someday. “You should consider a switch over into the entertainment industry, man. You’d be rockin’ those solos.”

There’s nothing but a glare, as Cecily mocked him. She couldn’t even stop herself from smiling for one hot minute? Gross. He, on the othe hand, never wondered how it felt being so upbeat all the time, because thinking about that made him tired. Raising an eyebrow, he clucked his tongue, not exactly impressed. “Y’think that if I could get a job like that, that I’d still be rotting here with the rest of you sad sacks?”

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rlyimogen.

Imogen crossed her arms over her chest as she glared down Fletcher. He really knew how to be a pain in her ass, but for some reason she seemed to enjoy their banter. Maybe it was because he was the one person who could keep up with her, joking or not, it didn’t matter. “You’re disgusting.” She scoffed as she watched his hand slide through his mop. “Come on Fletch, let me take you over to the dunk tank. I know its technically closed but I can just pour a few gallons of shampoo in there, that might fix some of the damage.”

Wasn’t that why he was put on this earth, though? To be a pain in Imogen’s painfully nice ass? Annoying as the blonde may be, Fletcher definitely didn’t mind talking to her as much as he did some other people. That was something. Shaking his head once or twice, he scowled over at her. “I’m not going anywhere near that thing, let alone if it’s full of shampoo. I mean, thanks, and stuff--- I’m just content to sit in my own filth, y’know.”

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hugosuttons.

Impossible. Minions were nothing more than cold, unfeeling products of capitalism. They couldn’t feel. Fletcher was out of his mind. “Remind me to never let you have a child, then. Using minion related scams on your own spawn. Unbelievable.”

Cold, unfeeling products of capitalism? Fletcher couldn’t have summed it up better himself. There’s a snort as he’s pulling himself up to lounge along the counter of his booth--- something he’d been told not to do, several times. “Don’t stress yourself about it, having kids isn’t exactly a priority of mine.”

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skipsmulaney.

“Olivia really likes these dudes,” he replied, scooping up the second ball. That was a major downfall of having four younger sisters – one of them was bound to get obsessed with either Frozen or the Minions eventually. “I dunno why. They’re kinda weird lookin, ya know?” He casually shrugged, then threw the ball with ease, managing to topple the pins once again. “The movie was alright, though.”

That made a bit more sense. Olivia--- the menace. He greatly agreed, though. They definitely were weird looking. Watching the pins fall for the second time, Fletcher was beginning to get the idea that this was going to be a long day. “Wouldn’t know, never saw it.” Reaching up for another toy, similar to the first one, he turned his head to look over at the taller male. “You really going to go eight more times?”

[rlyfletcher-blog]

brokemeyer.

brooke pressed the home button on her phone and glanced at the time that flashed there, then smiled at him. “right now. break’s over. see you later?”

“hopefully not.”

[rlyfletcher-blog]

brokemeyer.

“i dunno what to tell ya! you’re just gonna have to wear diapers every day to prepare.”

“when are you going to leave me alone?”

[rlyfletcher-blog]

rlyimogen.

“Ew!” Imogen practically screamed, her face turning sour at the sound of the nickname ‘Moge’ - it was disgusting. “Don’t fucking call me that, it sounds like a name fit for a fat third grader.” She groaned, rolling her eyes to further convey the disgust that was forced upon her. “Wow. That’s wishful thinking, but I also forgot to mention that I’m part of the percent who sees you for what you really are, a tiny greasy ball. Honestly, when was the last time you washed your hair?”

And this was when he cracked his first smile. “What? I thought it was just adorable!” Maybe it was the bad nickname, or a lack of mouthwash on her part -- but Imogen really was salty, today. Pressing a hand against his heart, he let out a half-hearted sound of despair. “Come for me where it hurts, why don’t you.” Moving that same hand to run through the aforementioned greasy hair, he gave yet another shrug. “I dunno, a few years, maybe?”

[rlyfletcher-blog]

hugosuttons.

Hugo’s disgusted gaze dropped to the yellow creature being held out to him. He wanted to spit on it. He wanted to burn it. Tragically, he couldn’t afford any additional cuts to his paycheck, so. The minion would live this time. “No. He’s ugly. And I wish you wouldn’t try to make a profit off of me, of all people.”

Moving his hands to cover where the toy’s ears would’ve been, if it’d had any, there’s a shake of his head. “He’s got feelings too, dick.” There was barely a second, though, before tossing the creature haphazardly back into the saddeningly large pile. Maybe he could pass some onto one of the girls. “C’mon man, you know it’s nothing personal. I’d try to make a profit off my own child, if I had one.”

[rlyfletcher-blog]

rajehunter.

“Nice?” Hunter repeated as they caught the toy tossed at them. “Call the fuckin’ press.” They set the toy back down on the game booth’s counter. “So, what did it? Tripped someone on your way here? Found out there’s an asteroid that’s gonna swipe all of us out in twenty minutes?”

He was actually kind of disappointed that Hunter hadn’t decided to take the toy. He’d been standing beneath a wall of yellow all damn day, hence why he was attempting to pass them off like crack. “If I found out we were all about to be wiped out by an asteroid, I might’ve actually cracked a smile. This must just be the New Year’s spirit.”

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alecsullivan.

Some people, no a lot of people found Fletcher hard to deal with since he could come off a bit blunt but it was one of the things Alec liked about his friend. He was a bit too grumpy for his liking from time to time but they were on the same wavelength which was something very unusual. “I love how you always compliment me.” Alec snorted, placing a hand over his heart as if he was accepting the compliment. “Yeah well I wasn’t sure if you were going to join me, you tend to be quite a cry baby you know.”

Oh, yeah, a crapload of people found Fletcher hard to deal with. That was intentional, though. Over his time at Astroland, he’d gotten a good third of the crew members to stop attempting to talk to him at all, which is just the way he likes it. “I’m sweet, huh?” With a shake of his head, he shoved his hands into his unifrom pockets. “I haven’t cried since I was like, fourteen, dude.” Not in public, anyway. “Besides? Flying out of a top-speed rollercoaster? Sounds better than my usual Saturday night.”

[rlyfletcher-blog]

brokemeyer.

“oh, i’ll work on it just for you. one of these days i’ll come in with a great routine and you’ll probably piss your pants because of it.”

“please, don’t.”

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cecilywindsor.

“Biology? I got that from one of those little Trivial Pursuit cards,” She snorted, leaning her head back against the trailer and glancing up towards the sky for a moment, zoning out as he spoke. “Sounds tiring… Do you still feel this grumpy when you’re playing guitar?” She wondered aloud.

“Don’t really care where you got it from.” Scuffing his heel against the ground, he gave a shrug. He felt more comfortable when he was pissed off. Call it a force of habit. At her question, he took a quick second to exhale a stream of smoke, before turning his neck to glance sideways. “Not really.”

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skipsmulaney.

Skip’s face brightened up considerably. He could totally get it in ten tries, easy as pie. “Awesome, dude!” Came his enthusiastic response, as he snatched up the first ball. With forceful determination, he pelted it toward the pins, managing to knock them all down in one fell swoop. Perks of being an ex-baseball player. He turned to Fletcher, grinning like he’d just won the lottery. “Do I get to use the other nine?”

Raising his hands in a slow clap, he--- once again, angrily pulled his stool over so he could stand and reach the toy in question, passing it to Skip. The grin on the other’s face is baffling. How someone could be so happy about winning a bullshit theme park game, was beyond Fletcher. Hell, he only cracked a genuine smile watching people smack their heads against trees on America’s Funniest Home Videos. What a world. “How many fuckin’ soft toys do you need, Skip?” After moving to sluggishly reset the game, he took a step to the side, waving a hand in the direction of the pins. “Knock yourself out, though.”

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rlyimogen.

Imogen’s face turned sour at his words, Fletcher always seemed to have an interesting way of viewing things. She groaned, shaking her head  “Well, it’s a good thing you’ll never be a grandma in my lifetime.” Her amusement quickly picked up as he continued, her mouth curving into a smile as she shook her head. “That is so wrong, but I don’t doubt it. Pretty sure everyone here has the hots for you Fletch, you’re a smoke bomb.” The sarcasm practically dripping off of her tongue. 

He raised an eyebrow, giving a lazy shrug. “I could be a grandma one day, ‘Moge. Don’t be so close-minded.” He wasn’t planning on becoming a grandma, though --- wasn’t exactly his dream life path. The sarcasm in her voice is more than obvious, but he’s rolling with it either way. “Fuck, I know, right? Why else would you keep callin’ me over to your booth like this?”