Jimin: As your best man, I’d like my speech to include how you two met.
Taehyung: An excellent idea. We first met at a bar. I only saw Jungkook from behind, but that was all I needed. I walked up behind him and whispered my best line.
Jungkook: A creepy voice said in my ear, “With my face and your ass, we could rule the world.”
Jungkook: So I turned around to cuss the creep out, and he says—
Taehyung: “Forgo my last comment. Clearly you have everything you need for world domination.”
Taehyung: And then I followed it up with, “Tell me, how are you not yet feared and worshipped as a god by the masses?”
Jungkook: And just to get the weirdo to piss off, I said, “I’m a chronic underachiever.” Which backfired spectacularly, because then he said-
Taehyung: “What a coincidence; I am a chronic achiever—”
Jungkook: And “would you like to be under an achiever?”
Taehyung: And, would you believe it, he said “yes.”
Jungkook: He seemed like he might have more pickup lines. I panicked.
Jimin: . . . You know what? I think I’ll just find a nice poem and use that instead.