rnaxbemis

[rnaxbemis]

Greatest tweet of all time

it’s been ten years and i can confirm that everything still happens so much. happy anniversary king

[rnaxbemis]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[rnaxbemis]

[rnaxbemis]

Not even Helen Keller would’ve missed all the obvious signs OP was in the wrong place

[rnaxbemis]

Casey McQuiston’s ‘The Pairing’ ^^

wine drunk is the best drunk. makes u horny & intellectual. a lust-filled academic

[rnaxbemis]

Landlord special thermostat is CRAAAZY work

[rnaxbemis]

[rnaxbemis]

[rnaxbemis]

Hello bisexual community

[rnaxbemis]

Fuck ICE. Fuck cops. Fuck Israel. Fuck Trump.

[rnaxbemis]

Superman desperately scanning the street during a fight to find the most morally acceptable car to throw at his opponent, knowing that not everybody has insurance, and loss of transportation can ruin a life -

A wave of incredible relief washes over him as he spots the hard geometric lines and silver paintless sheen of a Cybertruck.

[rnaxbemis]

agreed.

[rnaxbemis]

Anne Hathaway

[rnaxbemis]

[rnaxbemis]

The best part is, she’s this funny a. always and b. not even professionally; she’s a fucking pop star who makes amazing music

video ive been thinking about for days

[rnaxbemis]

Brennan Lee Mulligan plays to win but Vic Michaelis plays to make Sam Reich lose

[rnaxbemis]