roadto-saturn

[roadto-saturn]

Hi everyone

I haven’t post in a while and i wanted to explain a bit the reason behind my sudden hiatus.

I haven’t been well mentally, my anxiety for the past year has been over the roof, and i had the biggest burnout of my life. Not only related to studying, but also drawing. It was something i did in my freetime, but it had quickly become a sort of job: i was making some money from my drawings, but it meant that i had to post regularly, follow trends etc. I started dislinking my art style, and i was drawing more because i had to post something rather than doing it because i enjoyed it. At some point stuffed piled up and i couldn’t draw anymore, looking at my art was almost painful, and logging in was a reminder that i wasn’t drawing and that i couldn’t create anything beautiful anymore. 

That together with a lot of things that happened in my personal life (which are not gonna talk about) basically brought me to the breaking point, whatever i did was anxiety inducing, my intrusive thought were running wild. I was in a really dark place ngl and even drawing or posting or logging in on social media would basically cause me a panic attack. I can’t even explain it rationally, and i know it sounds dumb or exagerated, it does to me as well. 

Flashforward to this day, i recived a diagnosis for OCD, i started going to therapy, and i’m slowly getting better and fixing my life one step at the time. 

Idk if i’ll ever return to post here or if i’ll deactivate it, at the moment i’ve decided to start from scratch on @apunkwhodidballet and on my private blog @decayingpunk

I feel a lot of less pressure knowing there isn’t a huge amount of people following me and they are mostly people i know irl. So in the meantime if you want to follow me again you’ll find me there (this to let you know that the blog isn’t stealing my art, i’m reposting some stuff lmao)

finally, about the luca marinelli folder: it doens’t exist anymore because someone decided to snitch and i had to take it down to advoid paying a lot of money and going to court. idk if the thing was real or someone messing with me but i got scared and deleated it. sorry about that.

Thanks for anyone who has read all of these and whoever decides to follow my journey elsewhere.

take care and hopefully see you soon <3 

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the tea cup scene and restaurant scene are improvised?!

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tumblr told me ofmd would give me leather daddy taika waititi and tumblr didn't lie. thanks tumblr

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lucius watching stede and ed talk about ed's hypothetical restaurant:

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THE OLD GUARD (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH — "We Gull Way Back" (2022) dir. Bert & Bertie

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can i get 5 more of these little gay bitches played by taika waititi please

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BEARD BOWS CANON?!

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you all gotta stop saying ed/stede is a slowburn for real....in episode 5 stede says ed has been aboard the revenge for a few days. in episode 6 izzy says it's been 2 weeks. in episode 8 it's the next full moon after the one in episode 4. there is literally a month between ed and stede meeting and them being captured by the navy. i'm sorry to disappoint the 300k fic fans in the room but "slow burn" is not even in these two's dictionary!!! they fell in love so fast the fucking moon didnt even have time to complete one cycle!!! they couldn't pretend to not be in love with each other if they tried!!!!! this is not a slow burn it's a fucking flash fire!!!!!!

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ofmd izzy hands is an extremely homophobic gay man. he's the masc4masc that is literally physically revolted by effeminate men. he's the personification of the "gay people I respect/don't respect" meme. he wrote "no fats no fems" on Pirate Grindr and means it. he thinks it's guys like lucius and black pete who make the rest of them look bad. he would love corporate pride parades

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OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH 1.07 • “This is Happening”

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David Jenkins fueling my theory that 70% of izzy’s problem is that he’s been in love with Blackbeard for years

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live slug reaction: these bitches gay | Our Flag Means Death

+ thinking about how Ed reacts when anyone but Stede touches him… and how Stede probably tenderly put these little bows in Ed’s beard ;____;

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these two are making me lose my sanity

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i see a lot of posts about queer rep and that's good but the way that Our Flag Means Death treats race also was wildly refreshing. i can't explain how it feels to brace for racist depictions of indigenous people only to have it turned on its head. to see POC winning. see them portrayed painlessly.