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Never felt the feelings of anxiety before, not sure where it’s come from, but the fear of loss, the fear of sadness makes my heart race. Stops me sleeping and every time I feel like it passes it comes back like a tidal wave.

Feel selfish for feeling that way, I live in a beautiful country, get to travel, sit and look at the ocean and work is relatively easy and fun.

But the feeling of overwhelming loneliness and being far from those that I love make it more difficult.

Over the past 6 months I changed parts of my life to be a better person, giving others more respect, being more grateful and supportive and trying to understand more. But now I find myself petrified of losing you. I want it to all be your choice, on your time.

But can’t pretend I’m ok anymore

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⭐️✨🌙💫

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wanderlust ➵

via instagram

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Railay beach | ( by Giulio Groebert )

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Infinity arrow temporary tattoo, buy it here ► http://bit.ly/2GFAw8M

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The idea of hope is what give so many people meaning in life, hope of love, hope of religion, hope of safety. But what happens when hope turns to hurt. Do we just pick up and go again? Find something new to hope in?

I always thought life was like an arrow, we are flung forwards, flying towards our target, we hit the floor or if we are lucky we hit the bullseye but in either case the flight is stopped.

It is then in our triumph or our failure we must pick up the arrow and go again.

The reality is sometimes we will hit the target, other times we may miss, perhaps on multiple occasions, but we must find the strength to pick up and shoot again and again and again.

It’s not always easy but the feeling of flying forwards, full of opportunity, mystery, hope is what keeps us going.

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"Özledim.. Söyleyeceklerim bu kadar, kısa ve derin."

Cemal Süreya...

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He Hua at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding.

© Happy Panda.

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★ 【董趴】 「 呪術廻戦 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on instagram

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So go easy on me. Adele — “Easy on Me” (2021)

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So it’s been a while, but it’s time for a check in.

you always read articles where people ask older people what they would tell there younger self. At this stage I think my younger self would just look at me and think “what a dick”.

I tried so hard for so long to find something that I lost my way and became numb.

now for the first time I find myself feeling again and immediately get hurt.

lost, unsure and confused.

first time in my life I have felt distant from everyone and everything, English family and friends are always there for me, but they all have real lives that I’m not part of, over here I have slowly pushed everyone away.

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