robins-on-lea

[robins-on-lea]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

[robins-on-lea]

You were once the demon king. “Defeated” by the hero, you went into hiding to pursue a simpler life. Today the “hero” has appeared, threatening you family to pay tribute, not realizing who you actually are. Today you show them what happens when you have something worth fighting to protect.

[robins-on-lea]

“Ariel sold her voice for legs just because of a guy“

Meanwhile Ariel with legs;

Ariel already loved the human world long before meeting Eric (you don’t get a collection like hers overnight) and when she finally got a chance to explore it, she took it.

Ursula made it more about Eric than Ariel ever did.

[robins-on-lea]

[robins-on-lea]

Tim, slightly drunk: I told you all that I lost my spleen, but I actually know exactly where it is, because Ra’s keeps it in a jar on his bedside table.

Jason, also drunk: THATS WHAT THAT IS?!?!

Tim: you’ve seen it? HOW HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!

Jason: I had to take Damian to visit Talia at the league!

Tim: AND YOU ENDED UP IN RA’S BEDROOM?

Jason: every time I go there I put an assortment of miscellaneous vegetables in his bedding to convince him he’s going insane.

Tim:

Tim: that’s actually kinda cool.

Jason: it’s the only thing that makes escourting the kid back and forth worth it.

Damian, twelve, Tim and Jason’s designated driver of the evening: I swear mother has assigned you to me like some sort of service dog, Todd.

Jason, nodding: or personal uber.

Tim: come to think of it I have seen you lay your head on him whenever you think he’s anxious-

Jason: HE SAYS IT HELPS-!

Damian: -fucking stay out of it, Drake!

Tim: aight damn

[robins-on-lea]

I hope im not just a blog you follow but also the only person with 100% correct opinions about the little mermaid

[robins-on-lea]

Hi! The other day I thought of this AU where Nimona and Gloreth are girlfriends and uni students, and each got their own cat :]

Under the cut are more drawings and some ideas!

-Both Nimona and Gloreth study a career that is more about practical work than having to study theoric stuff (thinking about something like visual communication)

-Ambrosius is one of those white cats that are kinda blonde in some parts, and Ballister is that kind of black cat that is very ungraceful and has very big eyes

-Nimona found Ballister and befriended him when he was a street cat going around her old apartment's stairs, specifically around the banister. He had had a broken leg that healed wrong and he limped a lot. When she decided to take him in, she took him to the vet and she hurt more than Ballister did when they told her they had to amputate his leg for his own good.

>He benefited greatly from it and now has very good balance woo

-When Nimona finally had him at home she realized that he's really bossy, so his 'government name' is Ballister Boldheart (since she's Nimona Brightheart- imagine her going you were really brave :) so she wrote down his name like that instead of just giving him her own or leaving him with no last name) but the nickname she always calls him is Boss.

-Goldenloin is an entirely made up name, and Nimona laughed her ass off the first time Gloreth explained why she named him that, so much that they almost got kicked out from class where they were waiting for their turn to receive feedback from their professor.

-Ambrosius and Ballister are both young cats, like a bit over one year (with the whole Ballister and Ambrosius being just knighted and that, they must be young adults jdfkg)

>They're besties but also cats and they're always cuddling or fighting

-Also just because, Ambrosius doesn't really like baths but Ballister doesn't mind them

-They clean eachother a lot too, and that ends up with Ambrosius spitting black hairballs and Ballister spitting white/blonde ones

-Nimona and Ballister fight a lot, mostly because Ballister attacked her first, usually for no reason (being a young cat, I guess)

-But they cuddle a lot too :]

-Whenever Gloreth's doing skincare or anything spa related, Ambrosius wants to be included too and she usually indulges him, and then he's the prettiest cat

-Ambrosius isn't allowed outside like Ballister is, but sometimes he gets ahold of things when he's near the windows or the balcony, like cockroaches or small birds, and he always brings them as gifts for either Gloreth, Nimona or Ballister

-When Nimona and Gloreth started living together they all immediately started sharing the bed

-Also because I'm myself, there's going to be a cat Baby too jkfd

-When Nimona took Ballister to the vet and stuff, she was told that he was a sterilized male, and since they were both males, Gloreth wasn't in a hurry to sterilize Ambrosius, he never went out of the house too, so she didn't really worry about that.

-Anyways Nimona notices that Ballister's getting chonky but that's it, and then one day she gets home to her cat laying with five tiny kitties with him and cleaning one of them, and Ambrosius cleaning Ballister too and she's like 🧍

>She's still too surprised but also Ballister sorta forced her to sit so he could present their kitties one by one, and she had to go aw, wow! :D with each of them because otherwise he'd meow at her angrily for not paying attention

-Anyways they got seven cats now and Nimona and Gloreth decide to keep just one of the kitties, and that one they kept is Baby and they call him Kitty

-Baby's a black cat too woo

-Also neither Nimona nor Gloreth like folding clothes so sometimes they leave them there and Ballister and Ambrosius lay on top of them, and leave them with black and white fur that their humans must take off later

-Also they still use he/him pronouns with Ballister

-Both Nimona and Gloreth take their cat to the vet so they don't have any more kitties.

That's it! :D

[robins-on-lea]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[robins-on-lea]

Dandadan really comes out and says that spirits should be treated with kindness and respect because what they are now is not a representation of who they were in life. They were once normal people who, through no fault of their own, have gone through something horrible, and that deserves compassion.

But fuck aliens though, for real.

[robins-on-lea]

[robins-on-lea]

More smilk art ough

[robins-on-lea]

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

[robins-on-lea]

save me lady shmilk save me

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now 2 beanie baby dragons are crossing your dash together :3

[robins-on-lea]

booktok did ruin a lot of romance novels bc of the demand for instant gratification but culturally it is kind of a slay that so many young women are just reading smut and masturbating all day #respect

[robins-on-lea]

The funniest thing I ever did on tumblr dot com is send myself an anon ask apologizing for a previous anonymous ask that was being transphobic. I then publicly answered to say, thank you for doing the right thing and then I turned off anonymous asks. That was 7 years ago, and I just found this sitting in my inbox:

[robins-on-lea]

what people who say "don't say 30 year olds are old, 30 is still young!!!" don't understand is i know that. i'm not calling my 25yo coworker old because i believe it. i'm calling him old because i enjoy psychological warfare