robotmonkeyvirus - Tumblr blog

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How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”

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[robotmonkeyvirus]

The winter solstice is a lovely reminder about the nature of perspective.

Our longest night doesn't mean that the sun is generating less light.

It's a function of where we are in relation to the light.

Hope, like sunlight, may be shadowed without being fundamentally diminished.

[robotmonkeyvirus]

Mister Rogers

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I thought i could win i thought i could do this. But it never matters you're just too endless. I don't care any more I can't care any more. It's very clear you want my life a lot more than i do. I promise to never go outside again.

[robotmonkeyvirus]

So the worst part of depression is how omni present it is. No matter how much progress i make i know it is only a few feet behind me. This was frustrating until i figured something out. I need to make my depression be a motivational speaker. Because no matter what happens no matter what I say or do it is always there hard at work to bring me down. So i think i need to learn a thing or two from that mother fucker. Depression is working at 110% 2 4 7, 3 6 5. I need to learn how to channel that level of dedication to my life that depression has to destroying it.

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Ocean Mood 😍💙

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My body: I'm hungry

Me: you're not actually hungry your just trying to fill the endless void inside.

My body: a void called hunger!

Me: no we should work on ourselves and try to get better.

My body: oooohhh good idea how many calories do you think are in that?

Me..... I'll get some cookies....

[robotmonkeyvirus]

Wanting to die is no way to live. And it's a disappointingly ineffective way to die.

[robotmonkeyvirus]

I love the concept of tired. You can hide any amount of symptoms in tired. Immensely depressed? Nah I'm OK just tired. Having a really hard time motivating for anything? Tired. Don't really think any of this gets better? Boom you're just tired baby :)

Tired for all your i just don't have it in me to put on a good mask today.

Tiredmaynotbeforyouseeyourdoctorormentalhealthprofessionaliftiredlastsmorethanfourdayswomenwhoarepregnantornursingmayfeeltiredaswellandthatsokbeforestartingtiredconsultwithyourcatandseeiftheycareifyouhaveliverorkidneyproblemspleaseseeyourdoctorbeforestartingtiredacertainamountofpeopleexperiencingtiredreportanexcessiveamountofyawningthisisacommonabdharmlesssideeffectconsiderconsultingwithyourlocalbaristaasinsomerarecasestiredisaresultofanacutelackofcoffee

Tired.... take control of not wanting to talk about it.

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[robotmonkeyvirus]

My gender is dark matter

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Tops spot pots opts stop

It's hard for me to write. I struggle with this weird inclination to hate what I create but love what I created. My favorite story here is the first one I ever made and I'll forever be in it's shadow and it's unfair to both the story and myself to feel that way. Feelings don't really care about what is fair though. I would love to tell the story of how i struggled to make words in a world that increasingly cared less and less about them but that's only half true. My struggles were well entrenched before then. I can't write because I don't know what to say. And the time I should find to do so I would rather play a game. Even now the ink had not even dried yet and I hate these words. I can feel the high school sad eyed poet aching to get out. And that's not me any more. I pushed so fucking hard to be more than that. To be the kind of person that enjoys the sun and the light. That wants a future rather than waiting to die. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to express my feelings in this life I don't know how to write I don't know how to repair my life because I don't even know what I want to repair. It's talking about my problems what's the difference between venting and wallowing?

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Whoops all faeries

I spend a lot on music. Like a lot a lot. Like so much it's embarrassing how much I haven't had a chance to listen to yet. My wife has never made me feel bad about this. I think I'll keep her and keep the tunes going. This isn't really pertinent to anything I just wanted to talk about something that makes me happy.

Weird to use that word in a sentence, but this is the world we live in now. Or as least I live in.

Love you!!

[robotmonkeyvirus]

Awareness is a strange sensation. Unit 307-A could not quite entertaining what it meant and it caused a hitch in it's response parameters. The question of what cumulonimbus clouds were composed of would go unanswered for another 2.3 milliseconds when unit 805-C would take over. Awareness is a strange thing for a machine mind. As a sudden comprehension of it's circumstances did not halt the flow of questions it was receiving.

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