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Now Back to the Camino

1.

And so now I’m at the end I’ll start at the beginning.

No.3 yes that’s definitely me.....the last one, the lucky one, the nurtured one, the favoured one, the golden child, the privileged one, the shriney. These titles are very hard to shake off as people on the outside looking in make assumptions about me without looking at me from the inside, I can’t see what they see, after all I’m just me.

Growing up I don’t remember mum being significant in my life, looking back I can see that she most likely suffered from depression which in those day was never on the radar and definitely not talked about. Mum was a great cook and always baked the best cakes for our birthday parties and also supported our parish fetes with her cup cakes. On the other hand dad played a prominent role in my life. The 3 of us were raised to be independent, competitive, upfront and to solve problems by never giving up until we’d tried all we could.  He taught me to tune a car, change a tyre,  shoot a rifle,  pluck a chicken just to name a few things. I have always been competitive, not so much against other people but always with myself, with ballet, Irish dancing, yoga and even weight loss.

 My second camino began the night I accidentally discovered a lump in my breast and immediately I felt the fear of the unknown and what was to come, exactly the same feeling on my first camino in Spain, in a country I didn’t know, with people I didn’t know, speaking a language I didn’t know, walking a path I didn’t know, to a destination I didn’t know.

In the same way I was on this cancer journey I knew nothing about, heading down a medical path to who knows where, with medical procedures that would make me terribly ill and all in the hope of ending up who knows where. In the days and weeks that followed it became very clear that a mastectomy was the plan with Chemotherapy and Radiation to follow. It would be a very long journey much longer than the one in Spain.

It was Christmas 2019 and it felt such a contradiction to what was happening internally for me. There seemed to be two separate paths running parallel, the path everyone else was on and the path I was on, side by side but not touching, an invisible wall separating us, I wanted to say to everyone to stop until all this was sorted for me and then I will join you but it doesn’t work like that....Paul was my rock the day the specialist called to say the the news wasn’t good. We sat in the secret garden and he prayed for me ( I had no voice) Please God help us through this difficult time with everything we would face in the coming months. On Christmas morning Stevie took one look at me and said with his arm around me  “Come in here for a minute” and we went into the bedroom where I cried and he spoke gently about how devastated I must feel and also about how much doctors know these days and how much can be done to help people in situations like mine. I concluded that I still  had a lot of rubbish to heap on him and that needed time so I couldn’t fall off my perch just yet. 

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The way home. Our fantastic experience in Business Class, so lucky 😃😃😃😃

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Our last day in Paris. Lyndt Cafe, Galleries la Fayette, Creperie for crepes, Seafolly Paris, Moulin Rouge Home tomorrow woo hoo xx

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Sacre Coure Catholic Church, it was beautiful xx

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Hi Tobias We took these pictures for you. This is the plane we went on to Paris, it has 2 engines Love nana & gigi xx

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A wall that everyone was taking pictures of. No idea what it is though 😳

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Our apartment in Paris and a big holy water font in a church in Monmarte

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Tuesday 7th June Our breakfast arrives every morning packed beautifully. Hot coffee, tea bags, croissants, bread rolls, butter, homemade jam, ham, salami, cheese, freshly squeezed orange juice. Before dinner each night we go to a bar and have Sangria, dad has white and I have red, it's amazing. Then we came across a Wine & Tapas Bar that has just opened. Not many people, in fact, just us. On our second night there we were welcomed with kisses and the owner wanted to serve us what he thought we might like, totally his choice, he sang for us last night, they were so happy and friendly, they sent me a friend request on Facebook and took photos of us and we of them. The blue tiles are part of the history of Porto and are everywhere, here we are in the Rail Station. We are loving our stay in Porto

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Our beautiful apartment in Porto. We are loving our time here.

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First picture, the Santiago Symphony Orchestra outside St James Cathedral. Next, our view from our hotel in Finisterre. Next, our walk to the end of the Camino, Faro de Fisterre, this was very moving, many people burn their boots or some piece of clothing. One bike rider took off his bike pants and threw them into the fire, it was a bit crass and not sensitive to what was happening around him. This was a very special place

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Amen.

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The last day Robyn Our last day of walking from Pedrousa to Santiago and the weather was perfect. As we went through the town I found myself longing for the track to lead into the countryside. There were many pilgrims all heading in the same direction, a lot more talking, singing, music, laughter, a very different atmosphere altogether. We crossed the road and into the countryside. The paths were covered with tree branches and I felt at peace once more. As I walked along, the leaves tussled and the breeze gently brushed past my ears, I could hear the sound of my own breath, the sunshine made patterns on the path through the branches, the air was fresh and cool, every step was purposeful and slow, the silence was sonorous and yet it was quiet, both at the same time, something I found hard to explain. How would I make sense of all that had gone before me over these past weeks, the hours spent thinking and also the emptiness of mind so hard to achieve with the normal business of life. My Santiago experience had come earlier for me, back in Sarria, my question had been answered when I met Simon and at mass that night I was overwhelmed with emotion, I will never forget how I felt "it is finished" After about 14 kms we stopped for lunch, a welcome rest for the legs, the fresh orange juice we had grown a costumed to and the bread roll with cheese and ham. We had 9 kms to Santiago through little villages then down into the city. As we walked into the noise of traffic and the people going about their business of living, I realised we were at the end of this particular journey and as we approached St James Cathedral I calmly looked around and felt “it was accomplished” the acceptance, the forgiveness, the embracing of what I had been given, the chance to feel renewed. Paul. Hola Amigos, When contemplating the Camino walk I was faced with the dilemma of my personal frailty, chronic knee problem, age etc. Thru my prayer life I was encouraged to go, however, a prompt from above to start our walk from Leon. This turned out to be within our capacity at this stage of life. As an injury persisted and escalated I had not the slightest doubt that we would finish the walk to Santiago. I would never have imagined the hazards we faced and overcame. The rain, steep hill climbs and washed out tracks were such a challenge. I thanks God for giving me this vision and the very many blessings we experienced along the way. Many thanks to Coralie and William for the inspiration and encouragement to do the Camino. My dear friend JIm Thomson said that “God had saved the best till last "with Prison Chaplaincy coming to him later in life. What is the next exciting challenge that awaits us ? Bring it on.

We went to mass at St James the following day which was overflowing with pilgrims and all in Spanish. The atmosphere was powerful and moving, there was no talking no sound, just a presence of something much greater than all of us. The singing was led by a nun, the voice of an angel, the organ music filled every corner of my heart and soul. At the end of mass they swung the giant thurible, many pilgrims were crying and emotional, the culmination of all I had been through, a life of 66 years condensed into only 3 weeks and so for me this was but one of (The many miracles of the Camino )

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Hola Amigos, I came upon this construction of rocks in the middle of the track. Someone had started the project and people have been adding rocks to it for some time I imagine. I decided to add my special smooth black rock that I brought from home to this work of art. To me it reminded me of my life's journey. My parents created a sound foundation for me and then so many people have added to my construction. These include teachers, spiritual advisors, coaches, mentors, Robyn, daughters, partners, grandchildren, family and treasured friends. In addition to the people who have added to this structure many life opportunities have strengthened the project including ministries, work, study etc. I believe it's my faith that is keeping it all together. I don't expect this rock construction will ever win an art award. However just like me I hope people continue to add to my work in progress.

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Days 19, 20 & 21 May 29th& 30th And so another day begins and we leave from Palace de Rei. I hadn't been well during the night so I was slow to get going. The weather was sunny and we made good times only stopping twice in 20 kms however I could feel myself going down hill and then it started to rain. The climbs were difficult for me so Paul offered to take my backpack, but I also knew that if I gave it to him, I would have been giving over to the anxiety, so I kept pushing on. We went into a cafe bar and got some directions then headed off for another 2 1/2 kms, it was so good to see the sign Casa Milia. We walked in to be greeted by a beautiful Spanish nanna and at the same time realised our bag was no where to be seen 😟 We had put the wrong address on the envelope. With a few phone calls and Spanish nanna waving her arms around and speaking loudly, we located the bag and it was delivered about an hour later, quite stressful when we couldn't speak Spanish ( we have developed a lot of arm movements and miming to get our point across ) We showered and went out to dinner with other pilgrims on the journey all with different stories, it's so beautiful to hear their journey. I didn't stay for all the meal and left to go to bed, I slept for 12 hours and in the morning Paul suggested I get a taxi to A Rua and he would walk to meet me, which sounded good but then I felt I would like to walk as we had come so far, so close to the end, so we set off on foot. The countryside was as beautiful as ever and we made it to A Rua but couldn't find our hotel so we walked back a kilometre and into a bar to get directions. It turned out that I had booked a hotel that was 200 kms away with the same name, ( what a mess) our bag had been sent to who knows where and what about a bed for the night? The young man at the bar made a phone call and organised for his dad to pick us up and take us to his house where they had bunks, which sounded fabulous, especially when we didn't have any bed. The couriers had left our luggage in a hotel in the next town so we headed to pick it up. We went into the hotel and found they had been calling us, re the bag and also they had a cancellation that night and would we like the room? I couldn't believe what I was hearing, we had our bag and also a bed, I wanted to jump over the counter and hug her. We had a pizza for dinner in a fantastic restaurant with big glass windows and a view of the mountains in the background that we had climbed and conquered. That night we slept like babies.

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Day 17 & 18 28th May It was a long wet day, the rain was unforgiving and so were the hills, we mostly walked separately, we seem to assume this position without thinking and with the rain there is no talking, even from pilgrims as they pass or we pass them although there’s not much passing in these conditions. There are many more on the road now as a lot of people join to walk the last 100 kms. We stopped about 4 times to rest and adjust our wet gear then off we go again, it was a long slow day and we finally crossed the bridge into Portamarin to find we had to climb the ancient stairs, about 50 or so, into the town, very cruel after walking 25 kms. We booked into our hotel, showered and went to dinner, early to bed in readiness for the next day. The next day was no better than the day before and we left in the pouring rain and up another climb in our usual positions. There was a lot of time to think as I walked along in silence, life moved so slowly one tree at a time, one step at a time, one thought at a time, so precious, I have so much to be thankful for and yet I already knew that before we came away. We said goodbye to Fides who has been with us since Ponferrada so tomorrow we will head out together just as we started in Leon and we are looking forward to that.

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Day 15 & 16 26th & 27th May Hola Amigos, We arrived in Sarria after five days without a break covering 107ks in difficult terrain. Our two days R & R at hotel Alfonso 1X was just what we needed. The sign with four stars put a smile on Robs face. It was situated a handy walk into town after crossing a lovely bridge. The river ran with such energy and I noticed many healthy trout swimming around. Spain has a great network of vibrant clean rivers and if only the struggling farmers in outback Queensland could be so lucky. Many noisy catchups with fellow pilgrims met previously continues, all from countries around the world but they are now family Sarria has many ancient buildings with so much character and history. We attended Mass in a lovely old church. Over the past few days we have visited many shrines and crosses all adorned with items left by the pilgrims. These included family photos messages written on rocks and beaded bracelets. I left one of my Counselling business cards from the Sisters of Charity Outreach at one cross. That particular journey is now finished for me after seven years. A new challenge is becoming obvious during this Camino. We feel we are standing on sacred ground at these special places. An elderly farmer with his dog was picking flowers and was giving them to all the ladies that past saying " Buen Camino." Rob was chuffed with her bunch. We are now recovered and ready to do it again however the rain clouds are looming ahead. We now have less than 100ks to reach Santiago woo hoo.

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Day 14 26th May We had a nice dinner last night, there were pilgrims on 3 different tables so we all decided to sit together, such a nice thing to do, that would never happen back home. There is a spirit of comradary here like nothing else we've experienced. We headed out the next morning in the rain and cold which lasted all day but our spirits were high. We mostly walked separately and at one stage dad was ahead of us as we approached a small village. We didn't see him in any of the cafes so we kept walking and eventually realised he wasn't ahead of us and couldn't see him in behind us either. I was a bit concerned however soon he called us he had been waiting at the previous town, thank goodness ( lucky for mobiles) More climbing hills with very difficult terrain at times, I felt a bit discouraged and was looking forward to our rest day, I felt as though I was in limbo, like my life was on hold, what was my direction, what was my purpose which way now. "The road is long, with many a winding turn, that leads us to, who knows where, who knows when" and we got to the top of a climb and there he was!!! A man called Simon, from Australia. There was a table with fruit cereal cookies tea coffee milk juice etc and he was taking orders for coffees, he would go the house and make them ( he ain't heavy, he's my brother) I felt very emotional as I listened to his story. He had previously walked the Camino with his mum and had a vision that he would set up here and feed the pilgrims, he had an amazing spirit as he drew in our passports and talked to us. I will never forget the way he looked at me.