rogueemmy

[rogueemmy]

Grey Wolf taking a roll call and gretting responses from seemingly the entire forest.

Sound on.

[rogueemmy]

[rogueemmy]

I’m seeing every gif in this post this way, and I is enhancing the post experience.

Explaining to straight adults that much of queer history happened within their lifetime and they were unaware of all the extremely important events and how many laws there were to prevent us from thriving because they werent part of queer circles themselves is like...

-leans in close-

How would you like to know about the war in Ba Sing Se?

[rogueemmy]

A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."

"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"

"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.

One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.

"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.

"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."

"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.

"How are you speaking English?"

"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."

"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.

It's the eggplant emoji.

"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"

The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."

"Oh."

"We must be get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"

"Uh, sure, I guess?"

One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."

"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"

"No. Just not worth it."

The group disappears in a shimmering light.

The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.

Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.

I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.

I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.

A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.

We're no strangers to love

[rogueemmy]

[rogueemmy]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[rogueemmy]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[rogueemmy]

You are an immortal who has been alive for over 2000 years. Nowadays, you work as a history teacher. Thing is, a lot of the history textbooks are just flat-out WRONG, and you would know; you were there for a lot of the events they cover. Fed up, you decide to teach what ACTUALLY happened.

[rogueemmy]

I literally heard myself wheeze at one point reading these. 😂

[rogueemmy]

Still Can...

[rogueemmy]

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

[rogueemmy]

[rogueemmy]

you know what lets actually bring back lolcats, they were so simple and so benevolent. like check this out

[rogueemmy]

So there I was, chowing on some fish I found inside a metal box. All a sudden, YEET! That box was snatched to the surface with me in it. The box gets slapped against something, and I fall into a room filled with other lobsters!

Turns out, they were also eating before being dumped into this place! Before we could even figure out why we were there, this GIANT grabs me and slaps me down on a cold table. She tickled my tail and my nose, then I was FLYING! Just soaring, but I had no control, see. And then I started to fall - falling, falling, then SPLASH! I was back in the ocean.

It was the strangest thing, man. Just outta this world.

The lobster, probably

[rogueemmy]

Friends - Libby also has audio books! All you need for free reading material is a library card - those are also very free in most every U.S. place I've ever known of.

I can not stress enough how wonderful it is to have a book read to you when you are doing something like driving a car across country or trying to go to sleep.

I LOVE a good book in print, but "reading" can be anything that lets you exercise your imagination! Don't let (my fellow) book snobs tell you anything different!

Started using phone time to read library ebooks instead of scrolling and it’s made me back into the crazy voracious reader I was at age 12. i’ve been averaging a book a day this week. everyone delete your social media and get your ass on libby