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Am I being held hostage by abuser(s)? Checklist. Bold the ones that happened to you, italicize if you’re not sure.

Psychological brainwashing

they use every little slip-up or mistake as a proof that I’m incapable of independency

they humiliate my work and insist I’m never going to be good enough to make it on my own

they insist I make bad decisions, and they know better for my life, even though I’m an adult

they claim that the way I’m going, I’m never going to become anything in life

they convinced me I would be dead without them

they threatened my life when I wouldn’t do as they want me to

they remind me they hold my life in their hands, and that I have to do as I’m told

they put me in situation where I can’t collect myself fast enough to do things properly, and then use it as a proof that I can’t do anything right (for instance, yelling at you while you try to drive a car, then humiliating you when you make a mistake because of their yelling)

they convinced me escaping them equals death

they talked about all the ways I would lose everything and end up dying from starvation, sickness, assault, lack of shelter, lack of resources if I leave, and it would be all my fault

they keep reminding me of how much worse I could have it, and how much worse others have it

they told me other people would judge me even worse, abuse/beat me more, and that I don’t even know how lucky I am to be with them

they make it seem like I would be taking up too much space and be a nuisance to good people I were to leave, they make it seem like it would be stupid for me to live anywhere else

they keep convincing me I would end up being most pathetic person if I tried to live on my own

they threatened me with poverty and starvation, and they look down on poor people to the point where I’m sure they would find me stupid and pathetic if I were to end up poor

they told me that nobody else would tolerate and accept me, and if I escape from them, all the doors would be closed to me, and society would abandon me completely

they cause a scene including violence and abuse, and then afterwards their attitude suddenly changes and they’re gentle and nice to me, making me feel very disoriented and confused

they keep me in awful living conditions, but sometimes they’ll offer me some gift or privilege that feels like I’m special to them, and makes me believe things are okay

they finance my addiction or supply me with something I can’t do without so I have to stay

I know I’m not supposed to tell anyone about their mistreatment of me, or make them look bad in any way, even bolding things on this list feels like a forbidden thing to do

I’m not allowed to mention the times they hurt or abused me, and if I do, they get upset, and reverse the situation so it seems that it was my fault, or I deserved it, or I made it up

I’m aware every day of the things I’m not supposed to do, if I don’t want to upset them, and have to walk on eggshells around them most of the time

I feel like things could get better if I stay, even if it’s really bad right now

I remember things being so great, I can’t let go of hope that it’s going to be like that again

I feel like I’m addicted to them and couldn’t leave if I wanted to

I feel like they’re the only person who could ever love me

I don’t believe I could survive without them

I’m scared of them, but I’m not allowed to say it

I’m too damaged at this point to be living with normal people, there is no place for me except here

Violence and threats

they break my things if I’m away when they expect me/need me to be home

they threatened to hurt me if I leave

they threatened to hurt themselves if I leave

they threatened that I will be dragged back if I leave

they threatened to call the police if I leave

they threatened to kill me if I leave

they threatened to hurt someone I love if I leave

they threatened to hurt/kill my pet if I leave

they threatened to put me in a mental institution when I expressed distress at how they treat me

they punish every little disobedience from their rules so severely, I feel like the punishment for leaving would be death

Emotional manipulation and guilt

they claim to be worried about me, but their worried actions always make my situation much worse, and end up sabotaging everything I’m trying to do

they remind me that I have to be grateful to them, because they’re the only reason I’m still alive

they disapprove of me having friends, and get upset if I spend a lot of time with friends

they make me feel like I’m a horrible person for not loving them, and for wanting to get away

they make me feel so guilty and ashamed for not feeling the way I’m supposed to

they make me believe they’ll be hurt if I leave, and I would be cruel to do that to them

they cause a scene and make me feel very guilty if I talk about leaving

they seem so distressed about me leaving, it’s hard for me to not feel guilty for distressing them

Escape Sabotage

they traumatized me to the point where I can’t take care of myself on my own, and they blame me for it

they caused me cptsd/anxiety/depression that stops me from regular life activities and forces me to rely on them to provide for me

they keep making my cptsd/anxiety/depression worse, and make it impossible for me to recover

they make sure I never have enough resources to run away (take away my money, monitor my finances, overwork and exhaust me to the point where I can’t hold down a job)

they manipulated me into signing a contract that binds me to them, or a certain place, or keeps my money out of my reach, and under their control, making it harder to leave

they disapprove of me getting more education or a job, especially if it’s far away

they cause me distress in crucial moments when I need to focus on accomplishing something (for instance, yelling at you for something rigth when you need to finish and submit your final work)

if you can bold even 3 of these, your abusers are aware that they’re abusing you, and that is logical for you to want to get away from them, and they’re making direct actions to sabotage and stop you from escaping.Only reason they would try to convince you that you can’t survive without them is that they know you are able to, and they’re actively trying to stop it. If you feel pathetic for not being able to leave, this isn’t true, you’ll notice abusers are putting shitton of work making sure you can’t leave, they wouldn’t be doing that if they really thought you were too pathetic to leave? They’re sabotaging you because they know you can get away.

Also, presenting themselves as the only source of survival, love, and comfort to you? They’re trying to affect you to trauma bond to them and have you develop Stockholm Syndrome, that means you’d be forced to make decisions for their benefit instead of yours, and you wouldn’t be able to fight against them because it would mean risking your life.

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“noo my parents didn’t abuse me! they just accidentally made me lose all my faith in myself and caused me to feel like a worthless failure who’s never gonna be good enough to survive, and they might have hit me but it might have been just once or twice so it doesn’t count, right? they just happen to worsen my anxiety and depression constantly but I’m sure they don’t mean it!! I’m sure they have no idea how much I’m suffering and I don’t want to throw such harsh words as “abuser” around because they might find out I said such a thing and get angry, and it generally doesn’t end well for me when they’re angry! I also have bunch of holes in my memories and blurred events I’m not even sure happened in which I get hurt but who knows if I just made those up! Better be safe and assume I’m making things up and overreacting! I know if I confront them and ask them if they knew they hurt me they’re going to tell me I’m just being hysterical and imagining things for attention! They just really think they’re right! I need to keep in mind I’m indebted to them for feeding and sheltering me, god knows that was tough for them! They had a rough life too, they don’t need me accusing them of being abusers as well! Maybe it would be easier on them if I just died-“

These are the thoughts of child abuse victims. If your parents comments make you feel worthless and like a failure, they’re abusive. If your parents worsen your depression and anxiety, they’re abusive. If you’re scared of your parents they’re abusive. If they used violence to control you even once, they’re abusive. If they accuse you of being crazy or making things up when you confront them on hurting you they’re abusive. If they made you feel indebted for simply not letting you die on purpose, they’re abusive. If they forced you to focus on their lives and their perspective of you to the point where you can’t even acknowledge your own pain, injuries, and your own point of view, they’re abusive. If your parents make you feel like it would be better if you had never been born, or if you died, they’re abusive.

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Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me

parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them

parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat 

parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me

parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults

parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort

parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away

parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change

parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change

parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me 

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse

parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”

parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries

parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it 

parent threatened to leave me

parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me

parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly

parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma 

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed

parent didn’t notice I was depressed

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them

parent only gave me minimal money to survive 

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

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hey y’all wanna talk about a lesser talked about trauma effect?

loss of autonomy.

not knowing how to do anything without explicit permission or instruction.

feeling like you’ll get in trouble if you do anything on your own will.

waiting until you’re given permission to do so much as eat.

not feeling like your body is your own.

if you experience this you aren’t broken or alone. you were abused and traumatized and conditioned to be like this. remember you belong to nobody but yourself. you are and will be okay.

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The Atlas personality, drawing on the myth of the giant Atlas from Greek mythology upholding the world, is typically found in a person who felt obliged during childhood to take on responsibilities (extending beyond normal household chores or looking after siblings) such as providing psychological support to parental figures, often in a chaotic family situation.

They are thus liable to develop a pattern of compulsive caregiving in later life.

The result in adult life can be a personality devoid of fun,

and feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders. 

Depression and anxiety, 

as well as over-sensitivity to others 

and an inability to assert their own needs, are further identifiable characteristics. 

In addition, there may also be an underlying rage against a parent for not having provided love, and for exploiting the child for their own narcissistic needs.

While Atlas personalities may appear to function adequately as adults, 

they may be pervaded with a sense of emptiness and be lacking in vitality.

(Write-up sourced from wikipedia.)

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my favorite tidbit about Kung Fu Panda is that China saw it and was like "how the fuck did we not think of this before"

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Blessed shirt

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i get to draw his dramatic teen faces now

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i am dumber than a mouse

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I was thinking about why Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is so hated.

The obvious answer is because of the horrible things she did.

But the other diamonds did horrible things too…worse things even.

Pink abandoned Spinel, which is wrong, but Spinel was planning to kill every living thing on Earth to spite the son of a person who was no longer even alive. Yet, no one talks about what a monster Spinel is.

So many Steven Universe characters have hurt people, but we forgive them and are happy to see them redeemed.

So why not Rose?

Then, it hit me: because Rose’s redemption arc is told to us in reverse.

The first time we see Rose is toward the end of her life when she is pregnant with Steven. We see her appreciation for life and how full of love she is for Greg and her future child. She’s willingly sacrificing herself to bring a new life into the world.

But then, we start learning who Rose used to be, all her mistakes, all the people she hurt.

The loving mother in Steven’s video becomes a distant memory.

For those of you who hate Rose, imagine her backstory unfolded a little differently for us.

We’re introduced to Pink Diamond: she’s spoiled, bratty, immature, irresponsible, and inconsiderate.

She throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way.

Not exactly an endearing character, right?

But one day, her tantrum injure Pink Pearl, her best friend. From that day on, she keeps everything to herself. Now we see her dealing with a consequence of her bad behavior.

Then we see how she’s abused by the other diamonds. We start to sympathize with her.

We see her try to save Earth. We see her trying to do the right thing for once.

But it backfires horribly.

She spends the rest of her life trying to fix it, but she can’t.

She meets Greg. Here is where Rose has the most emotional growth as a character. She learns what is truly means to be a “real person.”

Finally, she grows such an appreciation for human life, that she decides to sacrifice her form to bring her son into the world.

The reason Rose is so much more controversial than other characters who have done problematic things is because her story is told in reverse, her redemption comes across as a fall from grace.

But there are plenty of characters who have a fall from grace who are still not as controversial as Rose. The reason why many people are less sympathetic to Rose is because we never see how Rose reacts to her mistakes. We never get much insight into how Rose feels about herself and the things she’s done. We get small hints:

For everyone who hates Rose, I get why. But I think we need to remember who she became instead of who she was.

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If women are superior how come 99% of men would whoop 99% of women's asses in a fight

How come 99% of men think that ‘superior’ means ‘I could kill you’ and not ‘I could improve your life’ or ‘I could promote peace’? How come men are so violent? How come you perceive superiority to mean being the only one left alive?

Wanting to beat women actually makes you inferior. When we talk about humanity, men lack it. Therefore women are true humans, and men are deviations.

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Guys, guys, let’s get back into Animorphs!!!

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Eventually

there will be names and numbers, for at least some of the deaths that have already started.

There will more children in those numbers.

Eventually.

We will say “we didn’t know.”

We know.

We know.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHH

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I don’t think The Good Place gets enough credit for the diversity of its cast. The main romantic lead is a black man from Senegal who is allowed to be as nerdy as he wants. In fact, his nerdiness is the saving grace of the main character. The character that is often considered to be the pinnacle of beauty on the show is a woman of Indian descent who is not super light skinned. Another character is a Filipino man who, while incredibly stupid, can be incredibly perceptive and offers loving emotional advice and is described as incredibly sexually-desirable. The all-knowing judge on the show, considered to be the most powerful character as of the season three finale, is a black woman. The main character is canonically sexually attracted to both men and women and (while it hasn’t been canonically confirmed yet) is probably at the very least bisexual, if not pansexual. She also regularly talks about how she loved to sleep around and is never slut-shamed for either her sexuality or her fondness for sex. And that’s just in the core cast. There’s also a black female neuroscientist who gets several episode long arcs in both season 3 and (about to be) season 4. Not to mention the supporting cast and guest characters feature several people of color, while the main villains are mostly old, white men.

And all of these characters are actual characters! Even the small parts where a side character may only be in an episode or two results in really developed and fleshed out characterizations. Also, the characterizations don’t fall into the trap of stereotypes to make them more likeable!!

But while all of this diversity is amazing, the show also manages to make it feel organic. There’s no tokenism or show-boating. It’s never a “look, the main love interest is a black man!!!!! We’re so woke!!!!!!!”. It’s genuine diversity built from a place of love and understanding and idk, I just think that the show deserves a lot of credit for taking such an amazing concept and using it to build such a diverse world with such in depth characters. It’s a nice change.

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Well kids it finally happened. I had a dream that I was dating a mummy.