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Chapter Thirty : MY OWN STORY

This is the end of our journey. I could have ended it with a one-two punch Stonewall-Pride extravaganza but I’m going with a more personal coda, if you’ll indulge me.

A BOY’S OWN STORY

I haven’t always known I was Queer. I guess there were signs — how I would prefer to play with my sister’s barbies than with my own construction toys. How I could be extra sensitive with benign day-to-day details or the fact that by the age of five, I knew “Pour que tu m’aimes encore” by Céline Dion by heart. “So Alex, you’re a faggot, right ?”. That’s what a schoolmate said to me during recess. I said “No”. I was 10. I didn’t know. How did he know if I didn’t know ? Is sensitive a synonym for gay, even when you’re too young to even have pubic hair ?

I started masturbated at the age of 12 and it didn’t took long before my thoughts were directed towards the male body. I ignored it and pretended it was just my mind wandering in unexpected and irrelevant places. I would do my dirty business with La Redoute catalogues, looking at the male models in underwear then switch to their female counterparts at the very end when I knew I was close. Same thing with my imagination. Penelope Cruz was my go-to fantasy beard. I was ashamed of my sexual orientation. Worst, I was ashamed of it before I could understand it. That’s the tricky part : society doesn’t teach you how to be Queer but sure makes you aware that it’s not the norm.

I didn’t know what gay was. In movies, homosexuality was always depicted through huge clichés, what I called in my articles the “Cage aux Folles” dogma. I couldn’t identify. Or maybe I rejected the notion very quickly and swore never to approach this level of absurdity. Internalized homophobia before you even understand what internalized homophobia is.

I fell in love with my first boy when I was 14 years old. He was 2 years older, not that handsome (back then) and so unattainable. I’ve known that dude my whole life. For a long time, I said to myself that one-sided love wasn’t love. I do not believe that anymore. Feeling are valid whether they’re reciprocated or not. Of the five men I fell in love with in my life, only one didn’t love me back (and another is still TBD). But he’s the man I loved the most. The pain that followed was real and undeniable.

I didn’t act on my feelings towards boys until college. In high school, I told myself I wasn’t gonna do anything with anyone until I knew for sure what I was (laugh). I turned down a couple of great girls, one became one of my closest friend in this world. There was one incident involving a girl faking drunkenness in order to inspire pity and having her ways with me at a birthday party. I was… 15, I guess. I was not into it.

A shy boy, I socially bloomed in high school due to my involvement in drama classes and a new “fuck-the-world” attitude I cultivated through a longer hair cut and a collection of converses of every color imaginable.

The day I found out I graduated from high school, I went to town with a few friends. We (barely) drank and had our PG fun. There was this boy. I didn’t know him at all as he was a friend of a friend. I was very intrigued by him and made sure to present to him what I considered my best self (mute and mysterious, I guess). When it was time to go home, we all packed ourselves in my friend’s tiny car. There wasn’t enough space for all of us so the guy was lying on floor in the back, myself in the middle seat. I don’t know what got into me, but I started putting my fingers under his shirt and caressing his lower back. Gently, like an accident. When he didn’t react, I went further. That’s when I felt his fingers on my ankle. As I got to explore more of his back, he quickly went up my pants and caressed the entirety of my leg. So erotic, you have no idea. He was the first to go home. We didn’t exchange phone numbers but he sure helped me get IT. Once alone with my friends in the car, I said “I like boys”. That was it. The electricity I felt all around my body was unchallenging. No one was shocked. No one cared. Back to our regular scheduled programs.

HOW TO BE A GAY MAN IN FOUR LESSONS (OR MORE)

The first and only real mistake was trying to define myself through my sexuality.

My first boyfriend was… let’s call him Paul. Paul was the sweetest. A very short, very elfish (not healthy, ELFISH) little dude that tried his best to give me space in our relationship to explore myself. I said tried. I was willing to lose my virginity as a bottom but it wasn’t meant to be. I became a top. Oh, but it is a nice memory. It is so rare to be a gay man and lose one’s virginity in a good way. He introduced me to his friends who found me “too country” and “fat”. Do we have to talk to each other every day ? Are nicknames necessary ? Do I love you or do I prove constantly that I love you ? Coming from a broken father/son relationship, affection towards men wasn’t easy shit. Lust, yes (though a restrained version of what lust can be). Feelings were there but I found myself incapable of materializing them the way Paul wanted me too. I broke up with him. We got back together. He then broke up with me. Back together again. We called it quits soon after. Too many variables freaked me out. I was an 18 year-old who knew nothing, Jon Snow style.

I met a couple more guys, experimented with casual dating and hookups, bottomed (wasn’t my thing). Then I met Thomas — I’m not even going to invent a name. That bitch needs to be called out. I fell madly in love with Thomas. Five days in and we said “I love you” to each other. That relationship made me come out to my mom. I just didn’t realize that I was being manipulated into loving someone. He made an effort to be extra needy and to push my Superman complex to the max. After falling for him, he told me he visited several psychiatric facilities. He tried to hurt himself more times that I can honestly remember. By the time our relationship ended, I was more a nurse than a lover. I broke up with me after he cheated on me with someone else. But not just cheat. It went from a Friday night “I’m gonna see a friend for the weekend, it’s been a while since I saw him. It’s gonna do me some good” to a Monday morning phone call “Well, he wasn’t a friend. We slept together, now I love you both and I don’t know what to do”. I made it easy for him. By Monday night, pictures of him with the other boy was all over his Facebook page. Thomas broke me in pieces. And I’m not even gonna talk about me going to the police for harassment months later. Triste vie.

That’s when I became a whore.

Not immediately. It took a few weeks of crying to go in that direction but then I was full on. I quickly moved to another city and for the next three years or so, I slept with everything with a dick that moved. Short guys, tall guys, fat ones, skinny ones, effeminate dudes, masculine cunts, three ways, public, top, bottom, ALL. OF. IT. I was unable to feel anything for those guys (some were great and deserved a lot more) but damn, did I fuck them. All of them.

I learned a lot from that time period. First, I can be great at certain sexual things. Won’t tell you which ones. Second, it gave a lot of satisfaction mixed with a sense of true emptiness. I ignored the emptiness back then but I knew why I felt satisfaction. It wasn’t the orgasms. It was a feeling that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do AKA being a gay guy having lots of sex. I saw it on TV. I saw it in porn. I knew it to be true. I was being the right kind of gay. 22 and still stupid enough to believe it.

When I moved to Paris, I fell in love twice. First with the city. Second with Pierre. In a way, he was the best of them all. Unfortunately, we met at the wrong time. Remember, I was a whore. Not that I cheated on him per say, but the need was there. Paris was giving me so much more land to cover. I met friends that partied hard. I started taking drugs. Lots of them. Festivities would last three days in a row. Sometimes four times a week. I lost 25 pounds just by being poor and high. Meanwhile, I was living a fantastic relationship with a somewhat adult man. I moved in with him for a couple of months. He was a painter and being with me helped him find inspirations. He bought me a note book and pushed me to start writing again, encouraged me to reach my full potential. But fuck my life, I had to make a choice : domesticity with this great guy (who had already been through what I was going through) or FPD (Friends/Party/Drugs). I broke his heart and entered a downward spiral. I went back to my whoring ways. I went all races, all ages, all sizes, just… all. I even was in a weird throuple for a few weeks. Drugs were taking a toll on my health and my friends weren’t supporting me the way I needed too. Six months after the break up, I reserved course. I cleaned my act, found a new job, moved into a new apartment by myself, cleared my phone from those friends’ numbers. This part of my life taught me two lessons : That I could be loved and valued for exactly who I was and that I could throw in all away for the sake of living that sweet Parisian Gay Life.

I met Jack at a time when my life was going really really well. I had been accepted at film school, I was making new friends from work, I had a perfectly stable life and newly-found good spirit. I do believe I inadvertently seduced him by singing Taylor Swift’s Blank Space at a party. I fell hard for that man. I viewed him as the perfect specimen, the epicenter of everyone I went through in the past seven years. I willingly gave him everything : a place to stay when he was looking for a new apartment, my time, my heart, my soul. I wasn’t able to keep anything for myself. It was all for him. Although I knew from the start that I was getting fucked, I didn’t care. He never loved me. Why ? That’s for another story and perhaps for him to tell you. He didn’t leave me heartbroken. He left me destroyed. To a point where I didn’t recognize myself. I’ll say it again : D.E.S.T.R.O.Y.E.D. That’s what happens when you give so much and receive so little in return. My friends had to pick up the pieces and didn’t know what to do with them. Neither did I. I went back to whoring for a short time but this time, it got dark, y’all. I fucked the wrong people. I put myself in the wrong situations. I took the wrong drugs. I kept on wrecking what was left of me.

LIFE IMITATES ART, ART IMITATES OTHER ART, ART IS ART, LIFE GOES WITH WITH FLOW.

For the following two years, all of that cured me of love and sex. I didn’t/couldn’t want either. I focused on my work.

I started writing and directing short films that talked about love between two men (a musical fantasy), how one can destroy oneself by not accepting who one is (a one-shot suicidal fantasy) and finally, a 16-minute movie about trying to figure out your place in the Queer world (my masterpiece, easy to say, right?).

In retrospect, what I couldn’t do in real life anymore (exploring and answering questions), I did it in fiction. In Faggot (and Other Semantics),there are themes of homophobia, internalized homophobia, clichés, dating apps, sex, violence and identity. I’m not saying it’s the greatest movie of all time, but it’s good. That’s why it’s so heartbreaking that I still haven’t finished it.

I used the excuse that I didn’t have enough money. Well, no I have some money put aside thanks to my friends. I though to myself that I was just lazy but fuck, I proved to myself this past month I wasn’t. So, I’m scared to finish it. Not just having to move on artistically (though it is a big part of the fear) but also, It’s kind of the end of a journey. Well, a big chapter anyway. The movie was made when I was the most wrecked version of myself. I touched subjects that are so personal to me and felt like I finally got some answers out of my questions. Finally…well, I don’t know. I went back to thinking I’m a lazy cunt.

Since then (two years), I did something every Queer person should do : I’ve explored our History. I started making research for Faggot back in 2016. I bought a couple of books, mainly “Faggots” written by Larry Kramer and “Le Rose et Le Noir” written by Frédéric Martel. The truth is, we don’t know our History. How can we ? History tried to erase us time and time again. And when real tragedy stroke, people who couldn’t have shared this History were let to die. Unlike all of the other communities, Queer people are not born into a Queer environment. Humans from all races and backgrounds are raised and can receive heritage from their peers. Some of that heritage are in books you get to read in school. What History book talks about Stonewall ? None. We, as Queer people, are cursed with the task of reinventing ourselves generation after generation. Is it so surprising then that we keep on losing ourselves along the way, trying to figure out our identity ? I had to go and search for information, nothing was giving to me openly. I’m so glad I did.

Learning our past taught me so much about how to live my present. That’s why I started to write these articles this June. I wanted to give my fellow Queers a metaphorical anchor to throw into this ocean we call Life so that they can take a closer look at the world that came before, the one that is being built right now and perhaps, what’s to come. It’s a small gift. The best I can do with my restricted reach but here we are.

Today, I told you about my own story. I came back to it with all that baggage from years of research into my Queer Heritage. I see things a bit more clearly now. In the hopes that maybe, if you deem it necessary, you will be able to do the same.

I’m signing off. Yours Truly,

The Queer King.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Nine : THE HISTORY OF PRIDE

As we celebrate all Queer individuals with the “Marche des Fiertés” (yeurk, I hate that name) today in Paris, I want to take a look back at the History of Pride, its worldwide impact and finally, FINALLY retire the adage “The First Pride was a RIOT”. No, it wasn’t. Quit it.

This article is a direct follow-up to the events of the Previous article about the Stonewall Riots. If you haven’t read it, now is the time. I’m waiting. Still waiting. Take your time, it’s quite long. … We good ? Kay Kay.

FIRST PRIDE(S)

Actually, the first pride were multiple Prides, in two consecutive days and Four different American cities. The first in line was the Chicago Gay Liberation on Saturday June 27, 1970. A year after the Stonewall Riots almost to the day. For those who know their Chicago streets, it was organized as a march starting from Washington Square Park to the Water Tower at the intersection of Michigan and Chicago avenues — I don’t know Chicago. Interestingly enough, the participants did not follow the originally planned route and spontaneously marched on to the Civic Center Plaza. The next day, first anniversary of the Riots, Los Angeles, San Francisco and New-York marched (well, San Francisco organized a “Gay-In”).

In L.A., a Parade was put together down Hollywood Boulevard. To counter the hate still targeting the Queer community, Queer activists in charge of this Pride named their organization “Christopher Street West”, as a way to not put too much attention on themselves while asking for permits. A chief of Police from L.A. once told one of the organizers “As fair as I’m concerned, granting a permit to a group of homosexuals to parade down Hollywood Boulevard would be the same as giving a permit to a group of thieves and robbers”. Battles ensued, fees were so high it became outrageous and a last minute court decision ordered the Police to do their jobs and go protect people’s “constitutional guarantee of freedom of expression”. In other words, suck it. Despite death threats, over a thousand people participated to the L.A. Parade.

But the first official Pride was held that same day in New York City. If you recall, we left Craig Rodwell with a desire to keep the momentum going and do something big for the Community. It came in the form of a Parade. On November 2, 1969, Rodwell and and three close friends proposed to held the first parade in NYC at a Philadelphia meeting of the Eastern Regional Conference of Homophile Organizations (ERCHO). Except for the Mattachine Society (which abstained), the vote was unanimous and prompted the organizations to held others (previously mentioned) marches all across the country. On Rodwell’s corner was the newly-formed Gay Liberation Front (GLF). It took close to six months to organize the first Pride. Finances through donations (from either the Homophile groups or the citizens) were difficult to come by. Originally intended for a Saturday, it was postponed to Sunday as to give more opportunities for people to show up. Luckily for the march, Mattachine changed leadership in April 1970, giving the organized event less opposition.

The permit for the march was delivered only two hours before the beginning of the event.

The march covered the 51 blocks to Central Park. It took less than half the time due excitement and was a mix of respect and fun. People were also in a hurry to walk because of their fear of rejections due to them holding signs and gay banners. Fortunately, the participants encountered little resistance from onlookers. The New York Times coverage said “There was little open animosity, and some bystanders applauded when a tall, pretty girl carrying a sign “I am a Lesbian” walked by”.

AND THE YEAR AFTER THAT, AND THE YEAR AFTER THAT, AND THE ONE AFTER THAT.

In 1971, marches were organized in Boston, Dallas, Milwaukee, London, Paris, West Berlin and Stockholm, while still being organized in New York City, Los Angeles and Chicago. The following year, Atlanta, Brighton, Buffalo, Detroit, Washington D.C., Miami, Philadelphia and San Francisco (not a “Gay-In” anymore) joined in. They adopted different names over the years, from “Gay Liberation Marches” to “Gay Freedom Marches”.

As of Today, marches are organized (in one form or another) in Africa, South Africa, Uganda, China, India, Israel, Japan, Korea, Nepal, the Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam, in Canada, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, Guyana, Barbados, The Trinidad and all over Europe.

While the 70s’ Prides were mostly about activism and had a rooted ideology to critique the space producing heteronormative norms by bringing homosexual behavior into it, the 80s gave us a cultural shift in the gay movement. Activists of a less radical nature began talking over the march committees all over the cities, replacing the “Liberation” and “Freedom” with “Pride” (while still keeping the “Gay” part, although it wasn’t ALL ABOUT THE GAYS).

With the arrival of the word “Pride” onto the scene came bigger notions of celebration. Large parades involve now floats, dancers, drag queens and amplified music. It attracts larger and larger crowds and is being taking over by governments and corporate sponsors and being used as major tourist attractions for hosting cities. Which is disgusting but more on that later.

With the HIV/AIDS epidemics of the 80s, many of the pioneers of the Stonewall Riots and the first Pride were no longer there to keep the memories of those events alive. Things that were supposed to endure, disappeared and the sense of “annual relief” from the participants became more present year after year. The one good thing that (recently) came with time is the name change. The language became more accurate and inclusive, as GAY is not EVERYTHING. It became Lesbian and Gay, then LGBT, and now the event is simply known (to the organizers) as “Pride” (I would argue for Queer Pride but that’s just my preference).

Today, Pride is not just ONE DAY. It’s an entire month, chosen to commemorate the Stonewall Riots. We can thank Bisexual activist Brenda Howard aka “The Mother of Pride” for that. She was the organizer of the first Pride in NYC, then she originated the idea for a week-long series of events around Pride Day which became a worldwide June celebration of our identities. Activist Tom Limoncelli later stated “The next time someone asks you why LGBT Pride marches exist or why LGBT Pride Month is June tell them “a Bisexual woman named Brenda Howard thought it should be””.

99 PROBLEMS (BUT A DANCE PARTY AIN’T ONE ?)

I often compare Pride with Almodovar’s movies. I liked it better when it was a ugly and messy than now, full of colors and boring as shit. For that’s not entirely fair. Political and social events in the country determines the level of political and social consciousness present in each Pride. In France, we pretend like everything’s okay. So the Pride becomes more of a dance party than a political event. Uh. So be it.

France’s first “Pride” was held in 1971. Well, actually no. Queer participants took the opportunity of the May 1st celebration to march alongside the usual syndicates and unions. That year, FHAR was created, replaced in 1974 by GLH. We can talk about a shy start for the Queer community in France since they took part of the march until 1978. But on June 25th 1977, the first independent Pride started from Place de la République to la Place des Fêtes, thanks mostly to the help of the MLF (Mouvement de Libération des Femmes). The next two years would see the same number of attendees (around a thousand) and would concentrate of the anti-homosexual discriminations laws still effective in the country. On the election year of 1981, 10,000 people showed up, prompting François Mitterand to declare soon after his win that those laws would disappear (and they did).

Shit got stinky started in 1986 when the CHLOEG (Comité Homosexuel et lesbien pour l’Organisation des Etats Généraux de l’Homosexualité)passed the baton on the organization of the pride, leaving space for exterior forces (business men) to take over. But I would also point out that the AIDS crisis was also an important fact in the transformation of the Pride, allowing difficult day-to-day lives to let go of their problems just for one day.

People lost interest and by 1991, only 1.500 marchers took to the streets. The “Gay Pride” Collective was created. They went to the press and to the AIDS associations and asked for unison against the disease so that by 1993, as many people were together as in 1981. The year after that, Prides were getting organized all around the country. The collective successfully found equilibrium between the politically active queers fighting for survival and the younger generation who wanted to have some fun.

In 1997, France hosted the Europride, leading to 300.000 people walking alongside one another. That’s good. And for the first time ever, businesses sponsored the event (SNCF, RATP, Virgin Cola, Kronenbourg, Yves Saint Laurent…). No so good. As of today, the collective Inter-LGBT is responsible for the annual event that usually ends up with around 800.000 participants.

I didn’t go to Pride this year, or the years prior due to me being employed all day on Saturdays. But I’m pretty sure that the Political is up front and the Fun part (most of the rest) is behind. Or something like that. That’s fine. No everybody needs to be politically-active but there’s not enough people to truly care about the urgency of some situations. For example, this year was probably all about the PMA. Great ! It’s urgent. But are we not concerned about the Trans community ? What about the Bi-Invisibility syndrome ? The Intersex right to not get butchered ? Last time I was there, I got stuck behind a very loud Electro Dance Party that was not fighting for anything but the right to be seen. It was by Gay Men for Gay Men. enough, Gay Men ! We see you. How can we not ? You’re loud and you are Men (and mostly White).

I’m personally very sick of Pride. I wish I could be more into it but it disappointed me year after year. Last year, I heard of a thing called “Pride de Nuit”. I can’t remember if it was the night before and the night after Pride but it was sold as a event entirely political, with the little march then a get together in which multiple politically motivated speeches would be heard. I was so in. I stayed 20 minutes. Why ? I was marching with two other gay people and the crowd started yelling in unison “Straight People suck ! Straight People suck !”. Are we Heterophobic now ? We got out and went drinking by the Seine.

Every time I see people just having fun with music and drugs (so much drugs) at Pride, I can’t help but remember the 1973 speech that Sylvia Rivera made at New York City. Find it, it’s on Youtube and it’s heartbreaking.

Here’s the transcript :

Sylvia Rivera: I may be —

Crowd: [booing]

Sylvia Rivera: Y’all better quiet down. I’ve been trying to get up here all day for your gay brothers and your gay sisters in jail that write me every motherfucking week and ask for your help and you all don’t do a goddamn thing for them.

Have you ever been beaten up and raped and jailed? Now think about it. They’ve been beaten up and raped after they’ve had to spend much of their money in jail to get their hormones, and try to get their sex changes. The women have tried to fight for their sex changes or to become women. On the women’s liberation and they write ‘STAR,’ not to the women’s groups, they do not write women, they do not write men, they write ‘STAR’ because we’re trying to do something for them.

I have been to jail. I have been raped. And beaten. Many times! By men, heterosexual men that do not belong in the homosexual shelter. But, do you do anything for me? No. You tell me to go and hide my tail between my legs. I will not put up with this shit. I have been beaten. I have had my nose broken. I have been thrown in jail. I have lost my job. I have lost my apartment for gay liberation and you all treat me this way? What the fuck’s wrong with you all? Think about that!

I do not believe in a revolution, but you all do. I believe in the gay power. I believe in us getting our rights, or else I would not be out there fighting for our rights. That’s all I wanted to say to you people. If you all want to know about the people in jail and do not forget Bambi L’amour, and Dora Mark, Kenny Metzner, and other gay people in jail, come and see the people at Star House on Twelfth Street on 640 East Twelfth Street between B and C apartment 14.

The people are trying to do something for all of us, and not men and women that belong to a white middle class white club. And that’s what you all belong to!

REVOLUTION NOW! Gimme a ‘G’! Gimme an ‘A’! Gimme a ‘Y’! Gimme a ‘P’! Gimme an ‘O’! Gimme a ‘W’! Gimme an ‘E! Gimme an ‘R’! [crying] Gay power! Louder! GAY POWER

For context, Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson were banned from the Pride and the speech list of that year for making other gay activists “look bad”. It was a time where the organizers didn’t want to be represented by Transgender folks and People of Color, and to satisfy a larger number of white gay middle-class folks attending the event and tired of politically-motivated speeches.

I believe that in 2019, we are living exactly the same situation. We’ve put the “weird” looking — scary different people under the rug and while we allow them to be with us, we don’t give them the platform they deserve. 46 years later, we are still silencing our people. Black causes, Intersex questions, Transgender rights. We only care about the things that heterosexual societies reject the most at the moment : yesterday was the Mariage pour Tous. Today’s it’s the PMA. One battle at a time while the rest of us stay behind ? Fuck no.

Anyway, I wish everyone a Happy Pride. I wish I could have wished it sooner but I got sick on Friday and wasn’t able to finish this article on time. There’s one more article due tomorrow or in a couple of days, depending on how I’m feeling. Until then.

“Hell hath no fury like a drag queen scorned” — Sylvia Rivera, 1995.

.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Eight : STONEWALL

50 years to this day. I was really looking forward to this one. (breathe) (breathe again) (keep breathing). With three articles left, we’ve come to the most important of them all. Think of it as Game of Thrones’s 9th episode of the season. Today, we’re talking about America in the 60s, how the Stonewall Inn became the set of such remarkable events and what the Riots of 1969 have left of as a legacy (Spoiler : close to everything).

GETTING RID OF THOSE FAGS : 60s EDITION

The end of the Second World War saw a need for the American population to “restore the prewar social order and hold off the forces of change”. Now, let’s make it clear. Homosexuals were not a welcome bunch before the war. But starting with the 50s, their life became considerably more difficult. A witch hunt of Anarchists, Communists and Homosexuals started. With the creation of a list of known homosexuals by the U.S. State Department and the F.B.I, came the firing of thousands of government employees either homosexuals or under the suspicion of sodomy. No pity. In a 1950 report, an investigation from the Senate noted “it is generally believed that those who engage in overt acts of perversion lack the emotional stability of normal persons” and “sex perverts in Government constitute security risks”. The 60s saw a rise in the homosexual population in NYC. More and more young queers would run away (of be thrown out) from home and take refuge in an up-and-coming neighborhood, Greenwich Village. The risks were heavy (frequent raids of bars and cops all over the streets ready to arrest you for less than nothing) but at least, for the first time ever, homosexuals were able to meet and discover what would soon become a community. In David Carter’s book Stonewall, it is said “it has often been pointed out that no specific statute outlawed being homosexual, that only homosexual acts were illegal. While this is technically true, the effect of the entire body of laws and policies that the state employed to police the conduct of homosexual men and women was to make being gay de facto a crime”.

By 1961, American laws reprimanding homosexuals were harsher than those in Cuba, Russia or East Germany. If you were to have sex with another adult of the same gender in the privacy of your home and got caught, you could get anything between a light fine to life in prison. Loitering in public toilet became a new law, just as laws concerning “sex psychopaths” in at least 20 states. Sentences on sodomy were harshened while professional licenses could be revoked on the basis of your sexuality, making it impossible to survive.

It would be a mistake to think that no attempt at organizing and change laws were made until that fateful night of 1969. Many protests that preceded the Gay Rights movement were made starting in Los Angeles in 1959. Between 1964 and 1968, numerous protests were held in L.A, New York City, San Francisco, Philadelphia. Some were organized, some were not.

Several amazing activists like Dick Leitsch (1935–2018) and Craig Rodwell (1940–1993) were pioneers in smart marketing actions and counter attacking the Police. Leitsch was instrumental in stopping the automatic shut down of bars and clubs that would serve known homosexuals and in ending the campaign of police entrapment while Rodwell opened in 1967 the first openly gay bookstore, the Oscar Wilde Memorial Bookshop and is considered by some as the leading gay rights activist of the early 60s. I digress, I know. There’s so much to talk about.

ANYWAY, organizations like One, Inc and the Mattachine Society (initially created by a communist activist in 1950, so you can see how easy  the link between chasing communists and homosexuals was made back then) were more and more vocal about the treatment of their kind by the government. BUT only in big cities and only in very small and peaceful gatherings of people. Not powerful enough. Queer people were too scare to organize fully, and I kind of get it. If you were too feminine to pass for a heterosexual, you would end up on the streets, selling your body for a penny. If you were discovered with another man, your life was ruined. Frequent raids in homosexual clubs by incognito cops (who would sometimes go as far as exposing themselves to lure you into an inappropriate situation) were not appealing to the masses.

“Thankfully”, the social repression of the post-war climate resulted in a cultural revolution in Greenwich Village. Beat generation poets like Ginsberg and Burroughs (who were not hiding their sexualities) moved there. Their personalities and writings attracted liberal-minded people to the neighborhood, giving more space to the slowly-forming gay community. Interestingly enough, none of the bars frequented by gay men and lesbians in the Village were owned by gay people. Most of them were controlled by organized crime. Those places were terrible, with poor treatment of clientele and watered-down drinks but the mafia was paying off the police so gays kept coming back.

The Stonewall Inn, located at 51 and 53 Christopher Street, was owned by the Genovese crime family, because of the interest of the son of one of the important mafioso, called Fat Tony, for gay businesses and the exploitation of this minority. Originally a regular straight bar in ruins, it was turned into a gay establishment in 1966. The Stonewall Inn had no liquor licenses, but that didn’t keep the drinks from being poured. It was the only gar bar in New York City where dancing was allowed but otherwise, this bar was a shit show.

All the bribes didn’t keep police raids away — just averaging them to once a month. During a typical raid (that the owners knew in advance due to police tip-offs), the lights were turned on, the customers were lined up and their ID cards checked. Those without IDs and dressed in women’s clothes were arrested while the rest of them would be left alone. The police would leave and the party would continue. The short period before June 1969 saw an increase of raids and the closing of the Checkerboard, the Tele-Star and two other clubs in Greenwich Village.

JUNE 28th, 1969

On the night of Friday, June 27th to Saturday, June 28th, 1969, revolution began. You also have to remember that the events that occurred that night divert from one person to another and we might never completely know how it truly went down, here’s two things everyone who had been at the Stonewall Inn that night could agree on : what happened had happened fast and it had been entirely spontaneous.

At 1:20 am, four plainclothes policemen in dark suits, two patrol officers in uniform, a detective and a deputy arrived at the Stonewall Inn’s and announced “Police! We’re taking the place!”. Four undercover police officers had entered the bar earlier to gather evidence of immoral evidence and the Public Moral Squad was waited outside for their signal. The music was turned off and the lights were turned on. 205 patrons were inside the bar that night. A few that understood what was happening started to run for doors and windows in the bathrooms, but the police kept them inside. The raid turned badly from the start. Clients dressed as women refused to follow female officers to the bathroom so that they could verify their gender identity (the procedure at the time. Yeah.) and many refused to produce their identifications.

The police decided to take everyone who did not cooperate to the police station AND take the bar’s alcohol in the process. Fortunately, the patrol wagons had not yet arrived and the arrested clients were told to wait in line for about 15 minutes. Those free to go were told to leave by the front door but this time, they did not run away. They stayed outside the bar as a crowd began to grown and watch. By the time the time the first wagon arrived, the crowd was ten times the number of people arrested. The first to be put in wagons were the mafia owners and that did not create any anger inside the crowd. Edmund White, who was passing by, recalled “Everyone’s restless, angry and high-spirited. No one has a slogan, no one even had an attitude, but something’s brewing”.

A transvestite was shoved by a police officer while getting escorted to a wagon and responded with hitting him with her purse. A lesbian in handcuffs, identified as Stormé DeLarverie, escaped repeatedly, fought with four police officers and screamed at the crowd “Why don’t you do something ?” before being hit on the head with a baton. Rumors of some patrons still stuck inside the Stonewall Inn being beaten and lesbian being molested started to spread around the 150–200 people around the bar. The crowd became a mob and “it was at that moment that the scene became explosive”.

I used this expression way too many times this past month but it’s never been more appropriate now : SHIT JUST HIT THE FAN. The police became overwhelmed by the response of the bystanders, knocking a few people down in panic, which gave more rage to the crowd. Those handcuffed in the back of the wagons were left unattended, which allowed some of them to escape. Two of the police cars left immediately when they saw the angry mob trying to overturn the police wagon, creating even more panic for those police officers left. Coins sailed through the air towards the police as the crowd shouted “Pigs!” and “Faggot Cops!” — remember, it might not all be 100% accurate but DAMN. By that time, at least 500 people were kicking the shit out of the police force, throwing beer cans and screaming at the top of their lungs. The police retaliated with everything that they had, forcing some to found shelter near a construction site. nevertheless, it wasn’t enough. 10 police officers barricaded themselves inside the Stonewall Inn, taking with them several detainees with them for their own “safety”. Garbage cans, bottles, rocks and bricks were thrown at the building, breaking the windows.

And now a quick flashback to yesterday’s articles. I told you that Marsha P. Johnson was known to had thrown the first brick at Stonewall, starting the Gay Rights Movement in the process ? Well, it’s a great story and it suits Marsha but it ain’t true. Johnson, though designated by many as one of the three individuals to have started the pushback, said herself in 1987 that she had arrived at around 2:00 am after hearing about the riots and informing her friend Sylvia Rivera and that the riots had already started. Nevertheless, someone reported that Marsha threw a shot glass at a mirror in the torched bar (Oops, spoilers) screaming “I got my civil rights!” and it became famous as “the shot glass that as heard around the world”. Well, almost definitely a legend.

Back to our regular broadcast.

The mob spirit was at full speed. Parking meters were uprooted from the streets and used to kick the doors in. They lit garbage on fire and stuffed it through the broken windows. The police grabbed a fire hose but break the crowd but the water pressure was low and it did nothing but encourage the people to go harder on them. When the demonstrators broke through the windows and the door flew open, the police officers pointed their weapons at them, threatening to shoot. Someone squirted lighter fluid into the bar and lit it. 45 minutes had passed since the beginning of the raid. That’s when the fire trucks AND the Tactical Patrol Force (TPF) arrived at the scene to free the police officers trapped inside the Inn. One passerby said “I had been in enough riots to know the fun was over… The cops were totally humiliated. This never, ever happened. They were angrier than I guess they had ever been, because everybody else has rioted… but the fairies were not supposed to riot. No group had ever forced to retreat before, so the anger was just enormous. I mean, they wanted to kill.” The TPF formed rectangular mass formation, marched slowly and started to push the crowd back. The mob openly mocked the police. Some were singing :

We are the Stonewall Girls We wear our hair in curls We don’t wear underwear We show our public hair

As the line got into a full kick routine, the police rushed in a cleared the crowd. One account said “I just can’t ever get that one sight out of my mind. The corps with nightsticks and the kick line on the other side. It was the most amazing thing (…) I think that’s when I felt rage. Because people were getting smashed with bats. And for what ? A Kick line”.

Participants were chased through the street by police (as they were in bigger numbers, it was easier for them). But do not think the mob got overpowered by the pigs. Oh no. They kept on running and coming back to the Stonewall area and started overturning police cars that were blocking the streets. To some reports, it was the crowd that was screaming “Catch Them!” to the police officers running away. It took until 4 am for the streets to be cleared out. Thirteen people in total had been arrested. Some were hospitalized, and four police officers were injured in the fight. The Stonewall Inn was destroyed. Pay phones, toilets, mirrors, jukeboxes. All smashed. By the morning hour, the feeling of electricity and rebellion was still in the air. This was not over.

ROUND TWO

News of the riot were quickly known to all, inside and outside Greenwich Village. The New York Times, the New York Post and the Daily News all covered the events during the night, with the latter putting it on its front page. All day, people came to take a look at the Stonewall Inn or what was left of it. Graffitis were written on the walls. “The invaded our rights”, “Legalize gay bars”, “Support Gay power”, “Drag power” and… “We are open”. 

That very night, it all happened again. Opinions differ on which night was more violent but the attitude was different. A form of structural unison was present, and the demonstrators — most of those from the previous night — were showing their true selves openly for the first time. Hugging, kissing, holding hands. “We were just out. We were on the streets” said one witness. Thousands of people gathered in front of the Stonewall before being dispatched all around the neighborhood to keep police force to intervene. They surrounded buses and cars, harassing occupants to either admit their homosexuality or their allegiance to the gay cause. 

Marsha P. Johnson (yes, and this time, it’s more solid information) climbed a lamp post and dropped a heavy bag onto the hood of a police car, shattering the windshield. Fires were once again started in garbage cans. More than a hundred police officers were trying to contain the situation and little after 2 am, the TPF showed their faces again. For the next two hours, war was upon Christopher Street and its surrounding blocks. Demonstrators were arrested, with their companions fighting back to free them. Dozens of people were hurt and bled heavily from baton kicks. At 4 am, it was over.

When recalling the events, Allen Ginsburg said to a friend “you know, the guys there were so beautiful. They’ve lost that wounded look that fags all had 10 years ago”.

AFTERMATH

At the annual picketing in front of Independence Hall in Philadelphia (organized by the Mattachine Society) on July 4th, there was some sense that things were changing. People who felt oppressed now felt empowered. Many, moved by the two nights of rebellious spirit, started attending organizational meetings, with the intent to take advantage of the opportunity for the better. But not everyone in the not-so-community was happy about what happened on Christopher Street. Older homosexuals, many members of the Mattachine Society, were embarrassed by the display of violence and effeminate behavior during those nights, as they tried for years to convince the general population that homosexuals were no different to heterosexuals. Early homophile activist Randy Wicker said “screaming queens forming chorus lines and kicking went against everything that I wanted people to think about homosexuals… that we were a bunch of drag queens in the Village acting disorderly and tacky and cheap”. Anyway. Rodwell (remember him ?) left the July 4th demonstration with a strong determination to change the established ways to get attention. All that led the creation of the Gay Liberation Front and the Christopher Street Liberation Day AKA the first pride — but that’s a story for tomorrow.

As for the Stonewall Inn ? By October 1969, it was up for rent. Rodwell’s boycott and the too-notorious riots discouraged business from interfering. Another Stonewall Inn was opened in Miami in 1972 under the same management but burned down two years later. The original Stonewall Inn was eventually leased as two separate spaces to a number of different businesses over the years. The historic vertical sign was removed in 1989 after the closure of the a two-year-life bar. Someone leased the place again with a new name but a year later came back to the original name.

Since 2006, Stonewall Inn has been owned and operated by the same person. It has been listed as a National Historic Landmark in the early 2000s and on June 24th, 2016, the Stonewall National Monument, which is directly across the street from the Stonewall Inn, was put together as the first U.S. National Monument dedicated to the Queer Rights Movement. And just so you know, I bursted crying about 6 times since I’ve started the article. This one’s the hardest.

WHAT NOW ?

First of all, do not watch the biopics about Stonewall (there’s two, and I’m not even gonna name them or their release dates because they’re horrible. Everybody’s white, no transgender people anywhere, it’s shit, shit, SHIT). Go read the overly-detailed book by David Carter named Stonewall (duh) or watch the documentary that followed called Stonewall Uprising if you want to know more that my mere 3,000+ words.

Second… Well, everything talked about in my previous articles comes directly from that life-changing night of June 28th, 1969. And so much more.

I get to have a boyfriend, to openly say that I’m queer, to write Queer articles about our struggles to at least a dozen people, struggles and beauty.

That’s all because of what happened at Stonewall Inn. Landmarks are not my thing. I do not care about buildings. When Notre-Dame burned, I was like “well, that’s too bad”. If the Tour Eiffel was to disappear, I wouldn’t cry over it. That’s because I have no emotional attachment to those kinds of things. Surprisingly, I do feel an attachment to 51–53 Christopher Street, although I’ve never been there. I don’t believe in ghosts and every time I think of this place, I feel surrounded by the spirits (alive or dead) of the only queer ancestors that we have. Because our History has been erased time after time after time. To the world, we’ve been nothing. A error of judgement from a god that doesn’t exist. Not after June 28th, 1969. 50 years ago, some homeless queers and good-for-nothing drag queens and ignored black trans women impacted our world so much that from this day on, we couldn’t be ignored.

I feel immense gratitude towards those people. That’s why I always ask Queer people I met if they know about Stonewall. Most of them in France do not. Well, they should. This article might give you a general idea of what happened but I truly invite you to go look further for yourself.

We, as Queer people, need our History to be remembered. And to make it official, it started at Stonewall.

PS the cover photo is the ONLY picture from that night. It shows Queer homeless youth trying to resist police force. The rest of the picture were taken from other nights of protests. Just so you know.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Seven : QUEER & RACE

If you recall yesterday’s article on the Equality Act (June 26th), the Gay Liberation Movement and it subsequent attempts at protecting Queer people under the Law took a page at the Civil Rights Movement that culminated (but did not end) with the signature of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The fight of minorities have always mirrored one another through the last century of our History but today, we’re exploring how race is being handled inside the Queer community. And since I’m a white cis man, I’m perfectly qualified for the job.

A WHITE MAN EXPLAINS RACISM

Fuck no. 1. You’re perfectly aware of what racism is 2. I ain’t whitesplaining this situation 3. Next.

RAINBOW IS NOT THE ONLY COLOR

In the United States, Queer Black People had the hard challenge to face two major fights in the 1960s (three for Queer women of color) : Right to exist as a black person and right to proclaim their Queer identity without serious consequences. The New York Times published an article on June 22, 2019 called ‘Queer People of Color Led the L.G.B.T.Q Charge, but were denied the reward”. Very instructive if you have a second. In this article, it is stated that the same thing happened to Transgender people, Drag Queens, Blacks and Hispanics during this period of time “(They) played outsized roles during many of the earliest milestones of the Gay Rights Movement (but) have been denied many of the benefits of the revolution they sparked”.

As a matter of fact, many of the first major push backs at the Police and the Law were led Queer people of Color. Logical when you think of how badly black people were treating in America since… always. If on top of that, you throw homophobic attacks for being a transvestite or a homo, well someone might snap for good. As the article states “the LGBTQ community owes a huge debt of gratitude to the ones who really didn’t have that much of a choice, who were out there taking the beatings and taking the verbal abuse”. Basically Trans women of color. Didn’t you hear, Marsha P. Johnson threw the first brick at Stonewall ? Well, more on that later (PLOT TWIST : She probably didn’t).

You can’t deny all the good and sacrifices Marsha achieved during her short lifetime though. An outspoken advocate for gay rights and founding member of the Gay Liberation Front, she was known as “the mayor of Christopher Street” (location of the Stonewall Inn). Marsha was a black individual. Many of them were. Without the hardship and strength that they accumulated in a country where they were never considered equal and couldn’t hide their identity — because think about it, you may have the possibility to pass as straight, but you can’t pretend to be white, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

And what do we have today ? A total ignorance of the pain and struggles are our brothers and sisters of color.

DOUBLE STANDARDS

Queer individuals of color may find themselves in a double minority, in which they are neither fully accepted nor understood by (mainly) white Queer communities nor their own ethnic group.

If you are an Arab person (especially if you are Muslim), religious backgrounds and crowd mentality are clear obstacles to your own acceptance of Queer Identity. Meanwhile, you’ll have a hard time finding people to relate to as you will inevitably be consider a sex object by the community (more on that later).

Some Asian family traditions will hold you back to marry the person you love. One study found that 90% of Asian and Pacific Islanders (APIs) who self-identified as Queer thought homophobia and transphobia to be an issue in the later API community. Amy Sueyoshi, an Historian specializing in sexuality, gender and race, said : “Voices from the queer left, though opposed to homophobia in cultural nationalism, have picked up the protest against the feminization of Asian American men in the gay community. While coming from drastically different perspectives, both groups find common ground in supporting a phallocentric standard of Asian American Male sexuality”. And on the Queer side, people of Asian descent are mostly ignored (more on that later).

Gay Latino Men report experiencing Ostracism from their friends and families as they are not considered truly “men”. Latina lesbians are considered traitors who have forsaken their roots (they are perceived as “Malinche” figures corrupted by foreign influences who contribute to the genocide of their people). More than in any other community, rigid gender roles, patriarchy and religion give a sexuality judged ‘abnormal’ and hard to accept. Queer communities, meanwhile, created a toxic environment for Gay Latinos and Latinas (more. on. that. later)

In Black communities, homophobic attitudes are mainly the reason why there’s a disproportionately high incidence of HIV/AIDS amongst African Americans (that and poverty). Those overtly homophobic standards in that community gave way to a subculture called being on the “Down-Low”, in which black men who usually identity as heterosexual have sex with men without anyone else knowing shit about it. In many cases, those sexual acts are unprotected and create a space of danger for the individual and their future sexual partners (male and female). Finally, in the Queer community… Well, you get my drift (more on that right now).

Do you need to talk about Trans people of color ? Really ? Don’t you know that by now ? Have you ever considered what they were going through ?

This creates multiples minority stress inside one individual, with consequences of internalized homophobia and poor mental and physical self-care (drugs, alcohol, sexual risks, suicide).

SEXUAL RACISM

Sexual Racial Preference is the individual’s sexual preference of specific races. Is is an inclination towards potential sexual or romantic partners on the basis of perceived racial identity. In a way, it all depends on your point of view. There’s the blind point of view where we present this situation as a matter of preference and there’s the “put your fucking glasses on” point of view of we need to characterize this as racism. It’s been going on for hundreds of years, especially with the world’s dark past with slavery. In the last ten years, online dating has overtaken previously methods of meeting potential partners. The number of dating sites (gay, straight, bi, etc) has spiked to a uncountable level. Some are even created especially for an ethnic background OR for people in search of a different ethnic background. Along with this, there has been a rise of online sexual racism. Racial discrimination is everywhere. ESPECIALLY in Queer dating apps.

Take the case of Asian men. In other gay men’s minds, they are being represented as feminine and desexualized. The term “undersexed” has been used. Without even mentioning the stereotyping of size for an Asian male, gay pornography often depicts Asian men as submissive to the pleasures of white men. The way Asian men have been treated in the Queer community is close to “symbolic castration” according to Gilbert Caluya. Gay Asian Men experience constant racism on dating apps, where it is common for profiles to state “NO ASIANS” or “NO FATS, NO FEMMES, NO ASIANS” (the holy trinity of what Asian Men are represented as). They are being “relegated to the bottom of the attractiveness spectrum”, reflecting the position of the Asian individual in the world (and as always, with WHITE MALE on top). And if somehow, a Gay White man will get an interest in an Gay Asian man, it’s often part of a fetish or sexual racial preference based only on appearance and race. The objectification of someone’s race is in no way better than pushing that someone away because of this race. Those “rice queen” need to stop taken Asian people for objects to play with and then throw away. Same thing for Asian women in the Queer community. They are not deemed “Gay enough” due to their traditional Asian descent and at the same time, “passive but exotic”, mirroring the way Straight white males view Asian women.

Do you think it’s better with other ethnicities ? Sure, keep dreaming. Where Asian men are desexualized, Black men and women, cis and trans, are overtly sexualized, on top of the deepest form of racism born out of centuries of slavery and fear. As I said, the rise of the two movements made life twice as difficult for Queer Black folks. John Wilder said “Now that it is becoming unfashionable to discriminate against N*****, discrimination against homosexuals will be on the increase”. Furthermore, Keith Boykin said “the dirty little secret about the homosexual population is that white gay people are just as racist as white straight people”. It’s a truth that you can see everyday in our community. It has been predominantly led by white people for white people. Just as what ? The rest of the world. So if Black people are rejected as individuals by their Black communities and by the Queer community, what’s left for them ? Yes, I digress from the sexual stereotyping I was supposed to talk about. Here it goes. Those discriminations are reflected into their sexuality in constant judgement from all parts of both communities. For example, Black men who have a sexual preference for White men are accused to suffer from “insidious legacy of white racism”. They are also rejected by other Black Gay men opposed to interracial relationships with White folks, as it is a sign of lack of roots into their enslaved history and a oblivious blind eye to racism. Otherwise, Black Gay Men are supposed to be “tops” with enormous dongs (something that is explicitly demanded by dating apps users of all races) who are “urban”, “ruff” and gonna treat them like “lil’ bitches”. Some White men unofficially think that being sexually attracted to Black people automatically proves the lack of racism in them. But if you are only fucking and dating Black people, you have a sexual racial preference and… you racist.

And did you know that Trans Black Women are four times as likely to be sexually attacked, raped or murdered than the rest of the Queer population ? Uh ?

Have you noticed that in America, there’s a lot of Gay Latino bars and nightclubs, not so much Asian or Black gay clubs ? Do you think it’s because Latinos are better club dancers ? You racist fuck. No, it’s because Queer hispanics and Latinos have one of the greatest level of discriminations, both within and outside the Queer community, prompting the creation of the first Latino gay bar in San Francisco in 1979. Many more will follow.

I had a harder times finding specific prejudices against Latinos and Latinas inside the Queer community than for others, I’ll admit. Then I remembered that I just needed to search inside of my own prejudices, those that came with growing up inside the system. The first thing that comes to mind is big butts. Latino Men are targeted for the specific proportions of their bodies, especially if they are bottoms. Who doesn’t like a big ass ? They’re trendy. What else ? What else ? What else ? Well, just like any other races, your shade is uber important. I mean, are you darker skinned ? light skinned so you can almost pass as white ? Are the physical traits on your face obviously Mexican ? Spanish ? Brazilian ?

Arab men faces another type of stereotypes : the THUG.

Here’s the situation : you’re a young white bottom with a really big urge of being mistreated by someone with a bad attitude. White boys don’t scare you, it doesn’t turn you on. Latinos ? why not but it’s gonna be enough ? A Black man ? Well it could hurt (because big dicks, right ?). So you turn your attention to Arabs. They wear street clothes, sneakers that you can worship. They will insult you, spit on you, fuck you like the whore that you are. Maybe even in a basement ! And with some of his thug friends ! You’ll end up cover in spits and jizz, the rose bud blooming like never before. Who said Arab men were all thugs ? What makes you think every time you objectify a Arab sex partner, it’s gonna end up like this ? Wouldn’t it be… SATAN ? (that was a SNL reference) Nop, it’s Society.

Gay Arab women are non existent, Asian-Indians of all sexes as well, Native Americans don’t even mention it !

And don’t think that ethnic minorities are totally off the hook on this one. The fascination of some for white partners are just as racist as the rest of those examples.

In BBC Three’s documentary Series Queer Britain, specifically episode 4 called “Preference or Prejudice”, the host skypes the author of the book “True confessions of a Patato Queen” (apparently, it’s Asian male who are only attracted to White men). When asked why is he only attracted to those, he responded : “I believe the white race is a superior one and I love being with a white guy primarily because of that and also because he’s got a powerful big cock that I love. Once you go whish (white), nothing else seems rigsh (right) ! (laugh)” Staggering. But who made him think that ? Could it beeeee…. ?

VICTIMS OF OUR SOCIETY’S PREJUDICES

At last year’s Paris Pride, a collective called Qitoko called for an assembly of Queer and Trans people of color (I don’t know why Trans is not part of the Queer but whatever) to go up front of the march, part of the “Cortège de Tête de la Pride — Stop au Pinkwashing!”. It is a reflection on the way Queer people in general are not properly considering Queer people of color inside the community, very much the way Society has never viewed people of color at an equal level as white are.

The article I found on Irrecuperables goes on to talk about the country’s politics, lack of support, the act of parking different races together, pushing minorities to the outer limits of the Capitol. They also speak about feeling and being “indesirable” as part of the march.

What this recent example shows, as it is something I’ve said a few times already in previous articles, is that Queer people are making the same mistakes as the rest of the world always had. For an outside perspective, it seems like the Queer community is super inclusive and ultra liberal. I tend to disagree with that. As we were all raised in the same heteronormative white society, we have, in our DNA, the same principles of white superiority and race hierarchy that History and the way that we live today openly shows us just that. The fact that you are Queer doesn’t change that fact or erase those mistakes from your beings. Off course, I’m not saying we are ALL racist. Off course not. But it’s time, as a society, to recognize our prejudices and take ownership of our errors. The same goes for the Queer community. Why does a Black Lesbian have to feel so abandoned in a Lesbian bar ? Why does she think that she have to straighten her hair and act less masculine in case girls get scared of her attitude ? Can’t you just look and appreciate the person for who he/she/they is, regardless of the stereotypes life force-fed you ? It doesn’t take much to step back, reflect and correct. You mostly need to silence your ego. Silence that bitch now.

It is extremely problematic to use racialized desire as personal preference as “it constructs ‘preference’ and identity categories as equitable, which ignores the fact that Queer men and women do not choose their Racial identity”. This also reduces Queer men and women into a category of an object or ‘kink’ that can be adopted or cast aside at will. In France, we’ve let people in our country in waves, as someone reminded me not so long ago. Then, we parked them, used them and now are just plainly ignoring their sufferings. We, as Queer people, have to do better than that. We can’t go from victims to executioners and not even blink on it. I’ve barely scratched the surface of the Race problem inside our community. And honestly, it took me long ass time to come up with something to say, as I didn’t feel like I could legitimately talk about it. Well, I did because it’s just as important as the rest of this month’s projects.

Stop hiding behind “preferences” and “white blindness”. Document yourself, talk to people. Make a change. Be inclusive all the way.

Check yourself before you wreck ourselves.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Six : THE + IN LGBTQ+

So here we are. I did the L. I did the G. I did the B. I did the T. L G B T. Done. Oh for fuck’s sake, now what ? What do you mean there’s more letters ?

LGBTTQQIAAPC2 ????? YOU SURE ? I don’t think anyone is at this point.

Okay, let’s make a quick rundown of them all (it’s not like I have a life or something).

Q as in QUEER Nop, I’m keeping this one for the very end as I have a shitload to say. Let’s see.

Another Q ? Oh, okay, I see.

Q as in QUESTIONING  

We ain’t starting with an easy one. Questioning is the period of time a person can go through to sort out the ideas of gender, sexual identity and/or sexual orientation. It is a process of exploration for people not sure of themselves (which is a fair feeling) and uncomfortable with the idea of social queer labels. If you’re looking for a particular branch of people who could fall into that category, look no further than teenagers. At a time when your body is changing, your hormones are showing, and society still doesn’t put forward the idea that being Queer is acceptable, one might feel a great deal of confusion and uncertainty. Kids right now promote the right to sexual fluidity and I think that’s great. I just called them kids. I feel like a grandpa. The concept of sexual fluidity available to someone who doesn’t want to constraint him/her/themself in a subcategory is theoretically extremely healthy for the mind, helping seeing things clearer in the future.

I as in INTERSEX

Well, I’ve already talked a lot about Intersex people in previous articles, as it is so connected in its History to the lives of Transgender people (so read the articles from June 24th on Trans Identity and the June 9th on the differences between Sex, Sexuality and Gender Identity if you’re interested). I’ll do a sum up. Intersex people are individuals born with any of several variation in sex characteristics (chromosomes, sex hormones, genitals) and who do not fit the binary definitions of male or female bodies. Do not use the term “hermaphrodite” because if you do, you’re a hateful asshole. It’s a biological specificity that has long been ignored by the medical and social scene, giving them little to know coverage to actually build a proper gender identity up until recently. There’s a whole campaign right now to stop forced surgeries on Intersex infants as they are treated as wrong doings from nature that should be corrected. They shouldn’t. Binary notions of life has to be corrected. As the same for forced sterilization on transgender people, modifying the sex characteristics of an individual without his/her/them consent is a Human Rights violation. The existence of Intersex people is still not up to date in the world but progress has been made with gender classification on legal documents. Finally, being an Intersex individual does not make you automatically homosexual or bisexual. It’s a gender identity that has nothing to do with sexual orientation, giving to some arguments that they should not be included in our community. Fuck those people. But let’s not forget that as part of our community, we need to make an effort towards you in understanding your identity, include you in general conversations and fight for your individual rights that sometimes have little to no relations to ours. Let’s not repeat the errors of this heterosexual society, please.

A as in ASEXUAL

Good god, so much controversy over that one. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, low or absent interest or desire for sexual activity. To make shit clear to everyone, it is considered a sexual orientation, although the primal idea of it is that there’s no sexual orientation to begin with. Although as in every sexuality (or lack of), there are levels and degrees of what being asexual means to someone. The acceptance of Asexuality is relatively new to the scientific community and to the world, mostly since the internet was invented and people started sharing their personal struggles (as they were deemed struggles in the eyes of society). More than any other term, asexuality seems to have a big question mark in the minds of people. Well, as sexual beings mostly driven by our urges, it’s hard to comprehend a world where no of this is part of the day-to-day mental conversation. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) has a great thing to say about the words Asexual : “There is no litmus test to determine if someone is Asexual. Asexuality is like any other identity — at its core, it’s just a word that people use to help figure themselves out. if at any point someone finds the word Asexual useful to describe themselves, we encourage them to use it for as long at it makes sense to do so”. Words of preaching that can be applied to any identity in our supposedly inclusive rainbow. Anyway, it’s a complex question that can go to various scenarios. Someone Asexual might engage in romantic relationships, other might not. They could have sex in order to satisfy their partners, but they probably wouldn’t take any pleasure out of it. Maybe they masturbate, maybe they don’t. The point is — Their sex drive is not our businesses. We don’t need to know what you do in your down time. Labels that can be adopted by Asexual people can also include Aromantic, Biromantic, Heteromantic, Homoromantic, Panromantic — with the acknowledgment of “sexual” orientation but lack of lust towards someone else. See ? There’s also Gray-romantic, Demiromantic, Demisexual, Semisexual, Friend-Focused. Queer people, know that Asexual as their places among our ranks, as their can be subjected to as much vile discriminations if out as the rest of us. More importantly, there’s currently no major legislation focused on Asexuality and no media exposure of any kind.

Another A as in ALLY

Also sometimes known as “SA” for Straight Allies. Usually cisgender heterosexual people who supports equal rights, gender equality, social movements and are in opposition with homophobia, biphobia, transphobia. I don’t have a lot to say about Allies. They’re good. The more we have, the better. Just don’t confuse being open to being an Ally. Being a Ally means make actual changes into your environment towards Equality. It’s not just saying that you have tons of gay friends and “they’re so much fun, I love them!”. Uh uh. It can be activism. It can be protests and articles and petitions and working for LGBT groups. Sure. Do that if you’re into it. I’m not an activist myself. I ain’t gonna judge you if you don’t want to be socially active for us. But you can be an ally by first of all, listen. Not just to us but to all the shit that can come out of your damn mouth that are homophobic and you don’t even realize it. Be ready for being taken back to school, people. Because the struggle is sometimes real. So real that some Queer people don’t want to educate straight people. I’m willing to but only if I feel like the person can really get it. I quickly know if they are or not. Don’t use our reclaimed slurs. Don’t “Guuuurl Okrrrrul Death Drop” us for the sake of comedy. As a gay man, I’m not even sure I can do it myself since it’s been part of the drag world. Yes, cultural appropriation inside the Queer community is a thing. Look it up. Anyway, Ally in the acronym ? hmm, debatable, even for me. Maybe an honorary title on the side ?

C as in CURIOUS

Arf, nop. I don’t agree. Next.

T as in TRANSEXUAL

Already covered the Transexual identity in the June 14th article. Go read this one, sucker.

P as in POLYAMOROUS

The practice of/desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner. Not to be confused with cheating as a polyamorous is made aware by all partners involved. It’s been described as a “consensual, ethical and responsible non-monogamy” philosophy/sexual identity. Those identities are so exciting to talk about. A polyamorous individual believes in an open relationship and rejects the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships. It’s not just about being sexually attracted to other people while in a relationship and acting on it, there’s real values such as love, intimacy, honesty and integrity in the process. Also a healthy  position on non-possessiveness that I admire greatly. Many social factors enter into consideration when it comes to polyamorous identity. The disillusionment with monogamy, illustrated with cheating and divorce from previous generations. A need for independence and equality, sometimes driven in a woman with feminism beliefs. You don’t need a man and you can do your own choices. Be as free as a man has been for thousands of years. Most of all, there’s this belief than human beings are not monogamous to begin with and to impose it on people is madness. The interest thing about polyamorous identity is not really the details of the relationships but the fact that it is not an identity or sexuality per say, but a companion piece to some of them. You can be poly and Straight, Poly and Trans and a Lesbian. Off course, as most of the other categories, it is not widely accepted by society and until recently, rarely talked about. I have a feeling it’s about to change. One of my friends came out to me as polyamorous. I mean, she didn’t actually come out but the fact that she openly talked about it surprised me and then delighted me. Not to be confused with Bigamy, which with being married to multiple partners. Not very common on western countries but forms of judicial recognition of multiple non marital partners are here and there, most notably in parts of the States.

P as in PANSEXUAL

Already did that one at length on the June 20th article on Bisexuality. No need to repeat myself that much.

2 as in TWO-SPIRIT

That one you’ve never heard of. Right ? It is a modern, pan-Indian, umbrella term used by some indigenous North American tribes to describe Native People in their communities who fulfill a third-gender (or other gender — variant) ceremonial role in their cultures. The term was created in 1990 (birth year) in Winnipeg by Lesbian and Gay indigenous gathered for the occasion, as a way to differentiate First Nations people from non-Native Queer Community people. The concept of Two-Spirit has been around for a long, long time but it used to have another name : Berdache. It was thought to be replaced as it is considered outdated and offensive (from the arabic “Bardaj” that means “slave”, the french Berdache that means “passive” and Italian “Bardassa” that means either “young prostitute” or “brat” and primally focuses on transgender folks and not other areas of the now-named Two-Spirit). Two-Spirit is not considered to be the same as being a Gay Native American. Yes, Two-Spirit people can fall in love with people of their same gender, or genderfuck conventions of what it means to be a man or a woman, but it’s way more than that. The term is meant to carry on the traditions of Indigenous people, too broad to explain them all here as each tribe has their own little definitions of what a Two-Spirit individual is. For more comprehensive information, you can watch Lydia Nibley’s 2009 documentary feature called Two Sprits. It focused on the murder of 16 year-old Navajo Fred Martinez, described by his mother as “nadleeh” or “half woman, half man”. But careful, it doesn’t mean exactly what you think it means.

And finally Q as in QUEER

This one’s easy. It’s us all. It’s an umbrella term to represent anyone in the Queer community. We’re a lot of categorized minorities in need of regroupment and that’s the easiest way to do it. I actually love the word Queer. It’s just an empowering word due its directness and History. It appeared around the 16th Century to talk about things that are “strange”, “odd”, “peculiar”, “eccentric”. Perfect fit. It later implied a feeling of suspicion and unwellness. It took 300 years for the word to get use in a pejorative way towards sexual differences. It was that or “invert”. Both are extremely fun. For almost a century, being called “Queer” was probably the worst. Well, Faggot isn’t a good one either but you get my drift. In the late 80s, the word started to be reclaimed as a neutral or positive self-identity by LGBTQ+ people. An activist organization to fight anti-gay violence called Queer Nation was created in 1990 (birth year, AGAIN!). I believe it to be still active and alive in some capacity somewhere in America. It also seemed important at the time to find a word that wasn’t so narrow in scope (as “Gay” is) and as the AIDS Epidemic was baptized “The Gay Cancer”, we were truly in need of a rebranding intervention. But that rebranding didn’t came without its challenges. With a new name came a new attitude, one that rejected the principles of assimilation into heteronormative society. The idea of marriage, adoption, service were banned from what was known the Queer movement in the 90s (while the “Gay” movement was still very much alive and willing to find new rights to Queer people). I didn’t live through this and I only have my perception of the word. I know some of y’all reject that term as you deem it offensive and self-deprecating. Some of you don’t appreciate the political vibe it brought to the community and the divide in ideas that followed. I only know that we cannot keep adding letters to our acronym. Ain’t nobody got time to say all those letters. We need to compromise, people. Yes, it’s a bad word. Now, it’s OURS. Being gay is political. They MADE IT political by beating us, torturing us, arresting us, killing us. They wanted to insult us. We take it and we roll with it with Pride.

So, are we good now ? Have I covered them all ?

Nop, I forgot to talk about Gender-Fluid, Non-Binary people (or Gender Queer), Bigender, Trigender, Pangender. Androgyne. Gender Bender. Third Gender. Androsexual, Gynephilia, Transvestite…

Time for you to make your own damn research. I still have four more articles to right and just so you know, I won’t use the term “LGBTQ+” anymore. I’ll say Queer as nothing else as of now. Position cleared.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Five : THE EQUALITY ACT

I bet that if you are a french citizen with no instincts to get news from the other side of the Atlantic (other than “Orange Cheeto almost starts war with Iran”), you have no idea what the Equality Act is. Don’t worry, I got it cover for you.

The Equality Act is a bill put together for the U.S. Congress that would put an amendment on the Civil Rights Act and prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in areas as varied as education, employment, housing, credit and federal funding. On the contrary to numerous laws acted state by state, the Equality Act protects every Queer Americans from discrimination nationwide.

Why am I talking in the present tense ? I don’t know, because that law hasn’t passed yet. But bish, we close. And it’s been a 45-year fight to get there.

I DREAMED A DREAM

The first Equality Act was conceived in 1974 by Democratic U.S. Representatives Bella Abzug and Ed Koch. Same basics, plus the right to marry — something that was obtained in June 2015. It followed the path of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that outlaws discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin, theoretically pulling the plug on racial segregations and unequal application of voter registration requirements. Also following in the footsteps of, those of the Gay Liberation Movement that started in 1969 after the Stonewall Riots (That article is going to be lit!). Anyway, a bill was offered to the House Committee which decided not to proceed to a vote in the full House of Representatives.

No more concrete tries were made until 20 years later, in 1994, when a revised version of the law called Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) was introduced to the House. Not as ambitious as its predecessor, it only focused on the hiring and employment situations of LGBTQ+ people based on sexual orientation by employers with at least 15 employees. Narrow shit. Basically, there were conflicts with the inclusion of transgender people in the bill and it never came to fruition. It was presented in every Congress cycle (two years) from 1994 until this year (except between 2005 and 2007, weirdly). BTW, gender identity was added to the proposal in 2007 only. But as I’ve said earlier in my June 21st article, Bush Jr. wasn’t thrilled to see such laws and was ready to veto the cunt out of it. Another version of the ENDA passed the Senate in 2013 but didn’t survive the House.

As of 2019, The United States is one of the few Western nations not to outlaw anti-LGBT discrimination in employment nationally. Only 21 states and Washington D.C. have comprehensive laws prohibiting discrimination. In the rest of them, you can can fired for being gay, evicted for being trans and starved for being a lesbian. Seems hopeless, doesn’t it ? Well.

YOU LIVE. YOU DIE. YOU LIVE AGAIN.

What a strange time to be interested in American Politics. It seems like everything is Hell and beyond and then you get exciting news like this. I’m getting ahead of myself. As I’ve said, the law was introduced every single cycle of Congress except one for the past 25 years. In 2015, it died in committee. In 2017 well… It died in committee.

On March 13th 2019, Democratic Representative David Cicilline introduced the Equality Act of 2019 in the House of Representatives. The bill was sponsored by a total of 240 Representatives (up from 178 in 2015 and 198 in 2017), including 3 Republicans. On May 1st 2019 and on a vote of 22–10, the bill passed the House Judiciary Committee for the first time ever. By the time the bill was introduced a final time to a full vote, 8 Republicans voted in favor of the bill with absolutely no opposition from Democrats.

Now, it seems that it’s up to the Senate. When the bill was introduced, it was sponsored by 43 Democrats, 2 Independents and 1 Republican.

The Equality Act is supported across the board by non-profit organizations, Medical and Professional Associations, over 180 American Businesses, the Chamber of Commerce and countless celebrities.

TAYLOR SWIFT.

I shouldn’t even have to say anything else to convince you. TAYLOR MOTHERFUCKIN SWIFT is supporting the bill and PROMOTING it at the end of her newest music video, You Need to Calm Down (#2 on this week’s Billboard Hot 100) That alone should be a done deal. LISTEN TO HER ! RESPECT. HER. AUTHORITY !

“Shade never made anybody less gay so Oh-Oh (Oh-Oh) Oh-Oh (Oh-Oh) Oh-Oh… You need to calm down… You’re being too loud.. And I’m just like Oh-Oh (Oh-Oh) Oh…” Oops. Sorry. Where was I ? Allies ? Yes. Well, I’ve covered most of them.

SAURON’S ARMY (CUE THE HORN AND VIOLON MUSIC)

You know where this is going. Who hates the Queers more ? Straight women. No, kidding. Jesus Freaks (here we go again)

Numerous religious leaders oppose the bill for multiple reasons, first and foremost claims that it will infringe on religious liberties.

I’ll give you a fine example if there isn’t one. In July 2012, Charlie Craig and David Mullins visited a bakery named Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado. The were looking for the perfect wedding cake, you see. Well, Jack Phillips, the owner of Masterpiece Cakeship, refused to provide a cake for the special occasion. The baker said his Christian faith forbids him to make wedding cakes for gay couples and he used his First Amendment right that guarantees free speech and religious exercise in his life and business. Craig and Mullins filed a complaint and the Colorado Civil Rights Commission found the baker in clear violation of the anti-discrimination law that is still implemented in this particular state. Then Jack Phillips, on the advice of his lawyer, decided that his cake making business was more on the lines of artistic expression and not directly business-related and the case went straight to the Supreme Court. Well, fuck my drag, right ?

In July 2018, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the baker, 7–2. Phillips’ first amendment right was protected but Craig and Mullins’ discrimination case was left unpunished. Although the court did not address the wider principle of whether businesses can refuse to serve gay people, it is clear that sooner or later, a case will come into their hands and might change for the worst the fate of Queer people in the United States. What you need to know in this situation is that the entire judicial system is being shaped by Donald Trump at the moment (and by that bitch Mitch McConnell). Since he took office, he was able to appoint two new justices to the Supreme Court. Neil Gorsuch became a member of the Court after the death of Justice Scalia — thanks to Bitch McConnell who blocked every Obama appointee until he left office) while the terrible, horrible, no good for nothing Brett Kavanaugh was appointed in 2017 to replace Justice Kennedy, even after the testimony of Christine Blasey Ford in the case of sexual assault in front of a Senate Judiciary Committee. Justices are appointed for life. Clarence Thomas has been there since 1991. Goddess Ruth Bader Ginsburg since 1993. Right now, there’s a 5–4 conservative force on the Court. If Ginsburg dies while Trump is still President, the Equality Act might never see the light of day. Bye bye to Roe v Wade as well.

I digress a bit. I was talking about Jesus freaks (who are supporting Donald Trump.. ENOUGH, ALEX. ENOUGH).

The American Family Association published an April 2019 article written by fundamentalist and social commentator Bryan Fischer denouncing the Equality Act, describing the bill as the “Homosexual Supremacy Act” and writing that discrimination against the Queer community is a “social good” and “what public policy is all about”. Here’s a fuller statement :

“There is no equality in this bill for anyone who believes that homosexuality is non-normative sexual behavior and something that should not be promoted, subsidized and celebrated, especially in our schools (…). Children will be condemned to the psychological torment of this dissonance until the day they commit suicide… which 41% of transgenders do.” Let’s just not vote and elect Bryan Fischer as this year’s Asshole Supreme, kay ? Done. Fuck off, now.

I could keep going with examples of oppositions from religious groups (The Church of Jesus Chris of Latter-Day Saints, Conference of Catholic Bishops, that cunt Cindy Jacobs etc, etc), the point is as with France, the separation of Church and State in the United States of America is only theoretical. Yes, not everyone is governed by their religious beliefs. But that minority is so strong it is able to oppress the rest of the population just by sheer conviction and impressive lobbying. Fucking Jesus Freaks.

WHAT… NOW ?

Now that the Equality Act passed the House, it is still waiting to be brought up for a vote in the Senate where Majority Leader Bitch McConnell is King and the King considers the Senate as a “graveyard for progressive measures”. That’s where we’re at. Blocked by a man with no chin and way too much cheekbones. The Republicans control the Senate and there’s not much Americans can do about it. 

A poll from Reuters/Ipsos revealed that 45% of respondents incorrectly believed that federal protections for Queer people in America was already in place. Another poll from Gallup put the beliefs for new legislation at 53%.

As an American citizen (and I am not so I’m fucking powerless), there’s not much you can do but :

Sign a petition, either Taylor Swift’s on Change.org (close to 400,000 signatures have been collected as of the writing of the article) or the Human Rights Campaign petition. I signed them both and shared it on my social media. Go do that too.

Call your representatives, especially if they’re Republicans. E-mail your Senators. Lobby hard. Pressure is key to success. Politicians are worst sissies than Zaza.

Come November 2020, do not vote for Orange Cheeto. That’s ludicrous behavior, on the verge of self-sadistic.

All that to say to non-American readers, U.S politics is compelling. It’s a shit show like no other, but at least keep an eye on this Equality Act. I have atheist faith in it. Which is rational hopes on a brighter future.

“Oh Oh (Oh Oh) Oh Oh (Oh Oh) You need to just stop, Can you just not stepping on our gowns You need to calm down” - Taylor Swift, 2019.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Four : T as in TRANSGENDER

Let’s run down our Queer alphabet. I did the G for sure because patriarchy. I did the L. The L was an interesting journey. Obviously, I did the B, I may have overdid it at times. Okay, are we done ? What do you mean, no ? T ? Uh ?

WHAT’S THE T ?

Transgender : denoting or relating to a person whose of sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

We previously talked about gender identity and how sometimes, it may differ from the sex you were assigned at birth. Well, still true but that’s just the basic info everyone is supposed to know about. The word transgender, coined by Psychiatrist John F. Oliven in his 1965 book Sexual Hygiene and Pathology, is actually as much an proper identity as it is an umbrella term to many variables in the Trans community. We’ll get to that in a minute.

4500 YEARS IN THE PAST (or the Unexpected Virtue of Ambitious Storytelling in a Amateurish Article)

In broad terms, the History of transgender people begins in ancient Sumerian and Akkadian civilizations, as texts from over 4500 years ago mention transgender priests and prostitutes (remember, oldest job in the world). Some reports suggest that the idea of a third gender came from prehistoric times. They were known Trans priests in Ancient Greece, Phrygia and Rome while an Roman Emperor called Elagabalus preferred the use of “lady” instead of “lord” when addressed to. Variables from the trans community umbrella comes from the fact that there is shared History between transgender people, intersex people and even Second Spirit individuals from the Navajo community. Hijras (India), Kathoeys (Thailand) and Khanith (Arabia) have importance and recognized identities when it comes to the question of gender around the world. They are reports of transitions from male to female and female to male as early as the 1800s, with musicians (Billy Tipton), soldiers (Albert Cashier) and painters (Lili Elbe) coming to terms with their identity reassignment.

Lili, in fact, is famous for becoming one of the first woman to go through vaginoplasty in 1931. She went to Germany to undergo four different operations over a period of two years. Her immune system rejected the final operation (construction of a vagina and implementation of a uterus), and her body developed an infection. She died on September 13, 1931. Her life was immortalized in 2000’s The Danish Girl written by David Ebershoff, followed by a movie adaption from Tom Hooper (2015).

To be honest, the History of Transgender people in the world is so vast and varied, I’m getting overwhelmed. The Tale of Two Brothers from Ancient Egypt. Tribes from West Africa who did not assigned gender to their children until the age of five (In Central Africa, one can be genderless until puberty). The great tradition of dan roles in China since at least the Mind and Qing dynasties. The story of Esther Brandeau/Jacques La Fargue from 18th century Canada. Frances Thompson, a formerly enslaved black trans woman, one of five to testify in front of a U.S. congressional committee in 1866. Zuni Ihamana We’wha who became a cultural ambassador of her/his people in 1896. Danica Roem… Oh Danica Roem. Remind me to talk about Danica Roem later.

And now, it sounds like we’re not defining Trans identity properly as I’ve just mentioned Intersex and Cross-Dressing performers. Well, History is messy. Although they officially differ from one another now, they were more obscure concepts back then (and before “then” was a “then”).

DO NOT CONFUSE (PRESENT EDITION)

The first notion that a ignorant could have, based on lack of informations and overbearing sense of historic confusion, is that Transsexual and Transgender are synonyms. In fact, yes, Transsexual is a term that was used for a long ass time to define transgender people. It has since been rejected by a big part of the trans community. For now, transsexual is a subset of the umbrella that is Transgender. For a transgender person, the notion that “sexual” is used at to refer to their gender identity is extremely reductive. If you are still confused and one day you meet a openly out trans man or woman, don’t put your fist in your mouth flipping a coin to figure out what term suits them best. Just ask. Politely. A Transgender individual is also not to be confused with Transvestites. Transvestite : Someone who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes primarily associated with the opposite sex. First of all, transvestite is kind of an outdated term that was used in such a negative way I almost find it insulting (although it shouldn’t). Know that transvestism has nothing to do with gender identity. It’s the pleasure to put on clothes that do not belong to your gender category. A transvestite gay man stays a gay man. In some cases (but not all), the act of transvestism is developed as a fetish and provokes sexual arousal.

One synonym of the term would be cross-dressing, which was coined after some members of the post-Stonewall Riots group Street Transvestite ActionRevolutionaries, founded by Sylvia Rivera (1971) complained about the use of the term Transvestite. One newly-named long-lost cousin derivative of this is the term Genderfuck (or GenderBender), in which an individual will dress regardless of the binary concepts of fashion and clothing.

Do not confuse Transgender with the Art of Drag. Yes, you’re straight but hyped, you kiki in front of RuPaul’s Drag Race from time to time because they’re so funny and flamboyant. Yes. Yes. Being a Drag Queen is basically being a Cross-Dresser, except that this is a vocation, a paid job if you are lucky. Drag Queens are performers, pretty damn good ones at that, and their gender and sexual identities have nothing to do with how they pay the rent. If you read the June 11th article on RuPaul, you’ll see the details on the scandal Ru created about transgender people. Know that some Drag Queens are transgender and they can keep on being fabulous Drag Queens. Oh, and Drag Kings are a thing too. They just don’t have an Emmy Award-winning show to popularize them.

I will talk about Intersex people and their ancestry and connections to the Trans community, but not today.

PROCCESS

As a Transgender person, you usually feel a disconnection at a very young age between who you are in your head and what body was given to you by a non-existent God Almighty. When a person starts to go into transition (Process of changing one’s gender presentation and/or sex characteristics to accord with one’s internal sense of gender identity — the “and/or” is crucially important) he/she/they makes a conscious personal decision. Careful, you cannot confuse Transitioning with Sex Reassignment Surgery (or SRS), which is only an option. Transitioning is a holistic process and includes many physical, psychological, social and emotional changes.

On the social side, the first step would be to come out. A gay man or woman does not simply go from one gender to another, he/she/they has to redo the entire terrible dance of announcing your gender identity. Through that process, a new name might be chosen by the individual, with the proper set of pronouns. Since it’s a process that can be years in the making, the person transitioning might start to wear different clothing and accessories, style their hair differently, ease themselves into his/her/their real self.

Whether of not he/she/they go through with SRS is totally up to the individual. In the times of Lili Elbe, you could not consider yourself a transgender person unless SRS was performed. You would have been a transvestite. Today, as the laws progressed (very slowly and very recently), only the decision and the social and psychological changes are factors into transitioning legally.

Also, if you ever wonder in a transperson went through surgery, just dont. IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, YOU DOUCHEFUCK.

On the medical side, the use of hormone therapy to create feminine or masculine characteristics is a major step into the transition (again, not an obligation). For trans women, surgeries can include breast implants, orchiectomy, laser hair removal, tracheal shave, facial feminization and penile inversion vaginoplasty. For trans men, male chest reconstruction, hysterectomy, phalloplasty and metoidioplasty are options to explore.

You also need a trustworthy doctor by your side to help you through your transition. Using hormones without medical guidance is dangerous and you may risk serious complications.

The point is, not all transgender people transition “completely” or even at all. The ways of some are not those of others. It may be a personal choice or a financial one, as those surgeries are very expansive and not always part of your insurance package (in the States, for example). Nevertheless, a person’s gender identity should always be respected no matter how they decide to transition socially or medically.

TRANS UNDER THE LAW

They are still a lot of places in the world where Transgender people are not protected under the law, where they cannot access the public bathroom of their gender based of bigotry ideas and religious fanaticism. There’s also discrimination in work places, many other public services, in health care.

In the United States, where you can be recognized as Trans, an Employment Non-Discrimination Act was stalled and failed several times over the last two decades. Each state now have choices of legislation in the matter. Mr. Orange is quickly taking back what was giving over the years to Trans people, such as the right to serve in the United States Armed Forces. Furthermore, Trans black women are still the most in danger population on record. As recently at early, the body of 26 year-old Chynal Lindsey was found. It’s the second unsolved murder of a trans black woman in the spam of a few weeks, fourth in three years in Dallas alone.

Did you know that until January of 2018, France was asking their transgender citizens to go through obligatory sterilization, a direct violation of human rights (decision made the European Court of Human Rights in April 2017) ? 20 countries in Europe were implementing that rule, while 36 still require mental health diagnosis in order to get legal gender recognition. Back to France. Laws to protect trans people started to be talked about as early as the late 70s. Twice, in 1981 and 1982, a law failed to pass. Meanwhile, transpeople were still considered psychiatric cases when in need of hospital care, and that until 2010. Since the 2016 case of a young trans woman who didn’t want to go through any surgery and still change her legal name, shit have moved around in the right direction. With the non-obligation to be sterilized came the possibility to change one’s name more easily, not based on any invasive medical procedures. You need to prove that that name represents your real identity, that’s it’s been used that others for quite some time and the change would harm your psychological well-being. New rules about minors who want to transition have also been add up to the law. They can change their names at age 12. The birth certificate can be modified at age 16. Transphobia is punishable through many updated laws when it comes to slurs, defamation, sexual harassment and discrimination.

And yet, trans people don’t feel safe. I wonder why.

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY NOTHING

2017 and 2018 were the deadliest years for Transgender Americans, with over 50 deaths in 24 months. Cases of Transgender people being arrested for crimes that were not crimes are basically limitless at this point. The Transgender community is still the most rejected of them all. Have you ever wondered how you would react if Pierre was suddenly in the process of becoming Vanessa, her real self ? The answer is not relevant. Vanessa would not have the support of her family, her uneducated friends would try to ditch her faster than you can say vaginoplasty and her boss would find a way to make her feel unwelcome. People have not been properly educated. They get easily confused with pronouns, so to understand the difficult process of gender dysphoria ?

Gender Dysphoria : the distress a person feels due to their birth-assigned sex and gender not matching their gender identity. My mama once told me that the fact that I was gay took time for her to process but she never stopped loving me. When I asked her “what if I was transgender ?” she replied “Oh no Alex. Not that. I don’t think I would accept that”. My mama’s no bigot. She is just so uninformed that she automatically rejects any foreign ideas. That’s why representation is so fucking important, so.

WE CAN BE HEROES

Long gone are the days where the only trans people on television were played by cisgender actors and were called “transvestite hooker #2”. It started with a bang with Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry (1999), it slowly went to more recognition with Felicity Huffman in Transamerica (2005) to continue through Jared Leto in Dallas Buyers Club (2013). All fine performances by three cisgender folks. I’m not even gonna mention prior appearances of trans characters, they are just so offensive.

The real revolution started in July of 2013, when the character of Sofia, played by Laverne Cox, was introduced to the world by Netflix. A transgender character played by a transgender actress. She went on to be nominated for the Primetime Emmy Award for Guest Actress. Twice. The consecration came a year later when Cox made the cover of Time magazine. It was called a “transgender tipping point”. 

In 2014, Transparent debuted its first season on Amazon. Let’s not forget the Tambor scandal, yes, but it would be a shame to not celebrate the work of non-binary individual Jill Soloway, who gave trans people a platform — as except for Tambor and Whitford characters, all the trans characters were played by transgender people. in 2015, Caitlyn Jenner made the cover of Vanity Fair, officially announcing her transition. She’s a terrible person. I won’t say otherwise because she’s a trans women. A terrible person is a terrible person. In 2017, A Fantastic Woman won Best Foreign Film at the Academy Awards. First, it’s an incredible movie. Second, it served as a response from the government trying to erase the trans community from existence in the military. An incredibly realistic portrayal of a trans character in Shameless (played by the gorgeous Elliot Fletcher) in also to be noted. 

In 2018, Pose premiered its first episode. I’ve already talked about Pose so much. I’m not getting into too much detail again. It’s major.

I’ll just say this : I went back to work on Friday. I work at an english bookstore, you see. In the press department. And There she was. Indya Moore. On the cover of Elle US. My jaw dropped on the floor. A trans woman on the cover of one of the most popular fashion magazine in the world. I’m sorry but MILESTONE. 

Scarlett Johansson having to quit a movie where she was gonna play a transgender person because of the outpour of rage that followed ? PRICELESS MILESTONE. Janet Mock becoming the first transgender person to direct an episode of television ? MILESTONE TO INFINITY. Supergirl just introduced the TV’s first transgender superhero, played by Nicole Maines. I’ve said it before. Get the kids on board and then, jackpot. In France, activist-turned-actor Adrian de La Vega and actor Océan (who documentary feature is available for streaming right now!) are making incredible waves for the french trans community.

My god… DANICA ROEM ! This american journalist was elected to the Virginia House of Delegates in 2017, becoming the first transgender person to both be elected and serve in any U.S. state legislature. She famously answered to a chance to attack her republican counterpart in the race (Bob Marshall, nicknamed the commonwealth’s “chief homophobe”) by these simple words : “I don’t attack my constituents. Bob is my constituent now.”

GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT… WELL, TRANSGHT

Queer people, here’s my daily message on repeat : GIVE MORE TO THE TRANS COMMUNITY. Stop looking at yourselves in the gym mirrors and focus : Trans people be should OUR top priority. We are letting our siblings in the mud while we parade with pride. Enough. Each new Pride should be first of foremost about trans rights and how we can protect them. AS FAST AS WE CAN. Here we have brave men and women having the courage to live as their true selves, we are one of the same. No dancing on Robyn’s music until the entire crowd starts screaming “TRANS RIGHTS NOW ! TRANS RIGHTS NOW !” I’m not hearing you. LOUDER.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-Two : LA CAGE AUX FOLLES DOGMA

Dogma : the official system of principles or doctrines of a religion or the positions of a philosopher or philosophical school.

In 1973 at the Théâtre du Palais-Royal, took place the first official performance of La Cage Aux Folles written by Jean Poiret, a vaudeville centering on confusion that ensues when the son of a night club owner and his main star (also a man) brings his female fiancée’s ultraconservative parents for dinner. An incredible success on stage, it went on the run for close to 2,000 performances. Five years later, La Cage Aux Folles was adapted into a movie directed by Edouard Molinaro. You want to talk about phenomenon ? It became the second-highest grossing movie in France that year, with 5,406,614 admissions and is till the 10th highest grossing french movie in the U.S. It was later adapted into a Broadway musical in 1983 with Harvey Fierstein at the helm (see article from June 2nd), and a remake was shot in 1996 directed by the great late Mike Nichols called The Birdcage.

I have to tell you that right now, I hate La Cage Aux Folles. It has little to no qualities in terms of production value and cinematic interest and most of all, it’s probably one of the most offensive movies in the History of cinema for LGBTQ+ people. But it was also a product of its time, enslaved by moral codes and infused by a lack of comprehension that is ours today. That’s what I want to talk about here. Representation. It ain’t pretty. Like Michel-Serrault-in-drag-not pretty.

HISTORICALLY VILE

The first representation of homosexuality in cinema was in 1895’s short silent film The Gay Brothers. We can’t really know for sure because 1. homosexuality was not common knowledge back then 2. Gay didn’t mean Fag in the late 19th century 3. two men dance together while a third plays the fiddle. Conclude for yourself. Anyway, the movie intends to be comical and makes a lot of jokes at the expense of its protagonists. Trend-starter, that one. As movie making was booming, increase awareness and presence of Queer people appeared in that media. Unfortunately, the rise of the Production Code (created in 1922) brought a lot of censorship to the community in its possibility of portrayal. Homosexuality was never explicitly mentioned and only in two ways : as a comical device or a villainous character who’s sickness, perversion and crimes are obvious to the audience. When it came to homosexuals, worldwide viewers had three options to explore : laughter, pity or fear. Early on, the girlish traits of the gay character and the stupidity of its desires were put front and center, whether in westerns (The Soilers) or in Charlie Chaplin movies (Behind the Screen). In historical movie term, the character would be referenced as the SISSY. Answering to the same principles as the whore, the dad or the saint figures, the SISSY had for purpose to give more masculine value to the hero (and to the viewer). But as the butt of the joke and in the constraints of the Production Code, he didn’t have a proper sexuality to act. An innocent childish fool. This convention continued with the talkies in the 20s and 30s as a subject that was partially shown but never discussed.

The few non-judgmental attempts at depicting Queerness were met with furious reactions and indescribable indignation from religious audiences, like when Marlene Dietrich kissed a woman on the lips in Morocco (1930), causing reinforcement of the Code.

For over two decades, scripts would pass through intense censorship and oppression, erasing homosexual overtones in novel adaptions or changing too direct gay references and replacing them with anti-semantic plot lines, more line with the time.

To override the code, directors had to be extremely smart. Alfred Hitchcock, a master of all movie crafts, was the best at this game. In 1948’s Rope, two roommates kill another man to finally know what it feels like, then host a dinner party in their apartment while the body is still there. The movie is fascinating in its “one-shot” concept and the script never mentions the possibility of a sexual relationship between the two but if attentive, you realize that they live in a one-bedroom apartment. Since you’ve spent the entirety of the movie in the living room, you know no one sleeps here. So. They gay. They’re also despicable murderers. Yep. FEAR factor.

I have so many more examples of this but let’s fast forward to the late 50s and the end of the Production Code’s dominance on Hollywood. 1959’s Some Like it Hot depicts two male protagonists pretending to be women who join a musical touring band. Straight people dressed in woman’s clothes. Come on, moviegoers, time to LAUGH. That movie gets a pass because Billy Wilder is a genius.

Then you have Spartacus (1960) and that homo-erotic relationship between the protagonist and its servant. Still underlined as hell but still. Then not much else. Until…

WE GOT FUCKED (AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY)

In the States, The Boys in the Band (1970) shook things for good (and, in a lesser way, The Producers, 1968). A year after the Stonewall Riots, while homosexuality was still considered a mental illness, This play adaptation’s portraying of nine homosexuals (eight, if you’re really delusional) was revolutionary. But some of their characterizations (I’m looking at you, Emory) and the way they tear each other apart as sure-to-be closeted monsters are quite hard to watch. In a way, they are still crazy sissies. Audience, PITY those homosexual fools.

And then, La Cage aux Folles. Although France made some attempts at talking about homosexuality without obeying to the social et moral duties of the era with La Nouvelle Vague (Amitiés Particulières, 1964), it was Molinaro’s popular success that sealed audiences’ views on gay people in this brand new era.

By depicting Zaza (Michel Serrault) in such a flamboyant way, combining homosexuality, drag queens, transvestites and transgender people into one, this movie, with its truly international success, wrote unintentionally a new rulebook about what a homosexual is deemed acceptable on screen. Such rule would be followed for decades to come. Do you now understand the dogma definition at the beginning of the article? I’m a smart cookie, you know.

LA CAGE AUX FOLLES DOGMA

For a gay character to be portrayed in a major motion picture and thus be accepted by audiences, he has to : 1. Be recognizable from the straight characters, as not to confuse the audience. 2. Be funny and over the top, so that the audience don’t take offense to its immorality. 3. Reassure male audiences on their true masculinity with ridiculous ways to act, walk, talk and live. 4. If your movie embraces the gay character’s view at some point, be sure to let him make all the compromises in the world so that the audience knows that HE knows that what he is doing is ‘peculiar’ and ‘wrong’ 5. Make fun OF him as much as possible. And pretend you’re having fun WITH him. PS. Don’t forget, glitter and fun mockery.

Zaza screams his lungs out for nothing and everything. Sorry, “her” lungs out, since SHE only uses the female pronoun to talk about HERself. She performs in a gay cabaret, is clearly depicted as the female counterpart of the relationship (because you need to apply binary concepts no matter what), decides to dress as a woman to meet the conservative in-laws for the first time. Zaza is the new post-gay liberation movement acceptable SISSY. Zaza is also a plague for the movement.

Michel Serrault, as talented of an actor as he was, doomed us for years to come by transposing a fantastic stage character into a movie ready to be assimilated by millions. Media is power. If they say something has to be this or that, the audience will follow, especially in a time when gay people weren’t equals in rights or ready to mingle with the general population. Critics embraced it. It was nominated for three Oscars. Serrault won Best Actor at the Césars. The Golden Globes deemed it the Best Foreign Film of that year. Talk about Media approval. We were fucked.

THE MINORITY AFTERTHOUGHT

The greatest decade in cinema (in my opinion) saw the portrayal of a couple of… interesting gay characters. The Last Picture Show (1971), Cabaret (1972) and its flamboyant Maître des Lieux. Dog Day Afternoon (1975) shocked audiences with a protagonist in a relationship with another man. Unfortunately, that other man is a SISSY who wants to have Reassignment Surgery in no way portrayed in a positive light. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) gave a shitload of screen time to Queer characters, but (SPOILER ALERT) he is an alien from another planet, a freak and the movie became a cult classic with time, it was not a studio film. In television, gay people are nowhere to be found. Homosexuality is barely getting talked about in the news. The Mary Tyler Moore Show has Mary go on a date with a man who turns out to be gay. It’s funny. So wacky. Not much else. I found a couple of shows from the 80s with LGBT plot lines .(Thirtysomething! Thirtysomething!) but the article was already way too long. Make your own damn research !

NOT THAT KIND OF SISSY

To my recollection, the first time a homosexual person was portrayed in a truly positive light was in Jonathan Demme’s Philadelphia. The struggle of a HIV-positive man seeking justice after he was fired. Tom Hanks won his first Oscar. Bruce Springsteen also won for his incredible song “Streets of Philadelphia”. I mean, it was still about pity lots of ways but the humanity in which the character is shown is outstanding. As Hanks puts it “Love is spelled with the same four letters”.

The 90s saw a biggest variety of Queer characters portrayed in american cinema. The Crying Game. Philadelphia. Jeffrey. Showgirls. My Best Friend’s Wedding. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. Most of them offensive in terms of clichés (because… written by cis straight folks ? YEP). but a welcome demonstration of our colors.

Australian classic The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) stays a example on how to do proper representation without removing the potential ridiculousness of Queer existence.

At the dawn of the new millennium, independent cinema offered us Boys Don’t Cry (1999), the true story of Brandon Teena, a trans man who tried to live his authentic life and got killed for it. More than putting Hilary Swank on the map (and an Oscar is her hands), it was unique in the sense that the queer protagonist wasn’t a joke, wasn’t scary and did not inspire pity. He was a strong man, a tuff spirit and a model for trans generations to follow.

UNAPOLOGETICALLY QUEER

Boys Don’t Cry was followed by a series of incredible movies and characters not afraid to be as Queer, as proud and as strong as Brandon Teena. Before Night Falls (2000), Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001), The Hours(2002), Mysterious Skin (2004), Breakfast on Pluto (2005), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), Transamerica (2005), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Kaboom(2010), Blue is the Warmest Color (2013), Dallas Buyers Club (2013), Pride (2014), The Imitation Game (2014), The Way He Looks (2014), Carol (2014), Tangerine (2015), Moonlight (2016), Call Me By Your Name(2017), A Fantastic Woman (2017), Disobedience (2017), Battle of the Sexes (2017), The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018), Love, Simon(2018), Rocketman (2019). Even when the gay character is used as a tool for jokes, modern cinema proved that it can be done without making fun of the gay life style, as in Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010).

They are still mistakes along the way. Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh fucking Bohemian Rhapsody. That movie is an abomination. First (and most importantly here), its depiction of Mercury’s sexuality is of poor-taste, even less when it comes to talk about his HIV/AIDS diagnosis. Then, it was directed by a serial rapist. Finally, it’s just a awful movie which uses nostalgia as a way to convince you that you are watching something great. And IT WON 4 ACADEMY AWARDS ! FUCK. MY. LIFE.

(To all my homies who know me, off course I was going to talk about Bohemian Rhapsody at some point. I’ll take that motherfucking cinematic slap in the face to the grave).

DAWN OF A NEW GAY ?

The question is simple : has visual media abandoned the dogma of La Cage Aux Folles ? Harder answer. Yes and No.

NO, because if movies like Isn’t It Romantic (2019) in which a gay character is (even purposely) can be the protagonist’s cliché best friend still exist, it means that movies are still no over that phase of its education. Also, if someone you barely know still ask you basic offensive questions about your sexuality, it means that we’re definitely still basically fucked. Remember, media is power.

And YES, in a way, this abominable dogma is long gone thanks to TV. I know, right ? Cinema’s little bastard brother which didn’t want to talk about homosexuality in the 70s AND 80s ? One of the first shows to depict homosexuality on a regular basis was HBO’s Oz. Thank you, cable. In between stabbings, sex violence and vicious murders, there was a serious exploration of the male sexuality. Then came the 1998–1999 broadcast television season and its one-two punch. It followed Ellen’s Puppy episode (which we covered in the June 8th article).

On September 21st, 1998, Will & Grace premiered its first episode. And yes, today, we view it as a very narrow view on homosexuality. But think about it in the context of 1998. It’s a show with two of its leads unapologetically openly gay males (and a ageless woman ready to go either way). Each episode of the show was about homosexuality, and some jewish themes thanks to Grace, television’s number one fag hag. And shit, this show was funny until season 6. Like, real funny. Even the lost-in-time reboot has some redeeming qualities. Finally, on February 17, 1999, the character of Jack introduced at the beginning of the second season of Dawson’s Creek, came out as gay. Don’t underestimate the power of teens. If they’re in on it, we all are. They were woke before “woke” was a thing.

That was just the beginning.

Queer as Folk (UK and US) and The L Word became pioneers of the LGBT TV revolution.

The Office’s Oscar Martinez came out in the season three premiere (2006), to limited clichés on its part. Ugly Betty (2006–2010) was the gayest show of the 2010s. By 2009, Glee ignored the window other shows created and busted the door wild open with at least 8 regular Queer characters. That same year, Modern Family introduced us to a very stable gay couple. 2011 saw the rise and consecration (in my mind) of Max Blum on Happy Endings, the ultimate cliché-avoider of the Queer community — so not a cliché that I identify more with his flaws as a man than as a gay man. 2012’s The New Normal failed at gaining the attention it deserved. Partners (2012) failed as well, but it kind of deserved it. Brooklyn Nine Nine did something no one else did before : talk about bisexuality without making a big deal about it. Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Once and Again, Six Feet Under, The Wire, Angels in America, Desperate Housewives, Battlestar Galactica, Grey’s Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters, Skins, Greek, True Blood, The Good Wife, United States of Tara, Shameless, American Horror Story, Please Like Me, Game of Thrones, Girls, Smash, Broad City, Orange is the New Black, Grace and Frankie, The Fosters, Superstore, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Orphan Black, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Transparent, Looking, The Real O’Neals, Friends From College, Sense8, One Day at a Time, This is Us, The OA, Champions, Dear White People, The Handmaid’s Tale, Pose, The Good Fight, Killing Eve, American Crime Story, The Haunting of Hill House, Now Apocalypse, Gentleman Jack, Years and Years.

They all, in small or big ways, contributed to what the situation is today. Something closer to reality, debunked of clichés. It’s a golden age to be Queer on TV.

I’ll say it a third and final time. MEDIA IS POWER. A couple of years ago, I screened my end-of-study movie called Faggot (and Other Semantics) to my schoolmates and a few faculty members. The movie was about a gay dude trying to figure out who he was as a gay man (not a coming out but a coming in story) — it was very well received. At the end of the day, the tech guy who put the movie on signaled me to come and see him. I did. He shook my hand and said ‘I didn’t know I could identify with a gay man but I did”. We’re talking about a straight single kinda annoying thirty year-old man. I wanted to slap him in the face. I kept thinking about what he told me thought. I get it now. A window opened (even for a second) in his mind because a piece of Art took the time to represent someone “different” while using universal tropes. And without making fun of the situation. It was an unwanted validation that I now fully accept. That’s why La Cage Aux Folles is wrong and its dogma can fuck off. Queer people have a voice now in the industry and are able to represent.

Queer people, REPRESENT.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty-One : MATTHEW SHEPARD

Matthew Wayne Shepard was born on December 21st 1976 in Casper, Wyoming to mother Judy and father Dennis Shepard. He was the oldest of two sons, with younger brother Logan, five years his junior.

Of Episcopalian faith, the family stayed put in Wyoming until David got a new job as an oil industry safety engineer. For 16 years, he worked in safety operations for Saudi Aramco in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia, starting during Matthew’s senior year of high school. After schools in Wyoming, he then graduated at the American School in Switzerland in 1995. He was often described as a sensitive, soft-spoken, 5'2 and 100 pounds kind young man, interested in politics and theater. His father said “(he) had a special gift of relating to almost everyone. The was the kind of person who was very approachable and always looked to new challenges. Matthew had a great passion for equality and always stood up for the acceptance of people’s differences”.

Matthew Shepard was gay. He knew it from a very young age but did not come out until after high school to his mother. Judy was very accepting of his son’s sexual orientation and knew for years as well.

During his senior year, Matthew accompanied three of this classmates to Morocco. During this vacation, he was beaten, robbed and raped by a gang of locals. The perpetrators were never apprehended. The assault caused multiples traumas that translated into flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, paranoia, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Matthew was then hospitalized on more than one occasion due to his clinical depression.

After briefly attending a small liberal arts school in North Carolina, Matthew went on with his life. With a lesbian friend, he moved to Denver then in 1998 to Laramie and enrolled at the University of Wyoming. He studied political science and international relations, joined the college’s LGBT student alliance and became the student representative for the Wyoming Environmental Council. He envisioned a career in Foreign Service.

On October 6th, 1998, only a few months after moving to Laramie, Matthew was approached by two young men in a bar called the Fireside Lounge. They pretended to be gay, just like Matthew and offered him a ride home.

They drove to a remote, rural area and proceeded to rob, pistol-whip and torture him. They tied him to a fence in near-freezing temperature, set him afire and left him to die. Reports described that Matthew was beaten so brutally his face was completely covered in blood, except where it had been partially cleansed by his tears. His skull was fractured to the excess of pistol shocks.

Matthew was tied to that fence for eighteen hours. He was discovered on October 7th by a cyclist named Aaron Kreifels who initially mistook Matthew for a scarecrow. He was still alive when a police officer arrived at the scene. The officer, Reggie Fluty, used her bare hands to clear an airway in Matthew’s bloody mouth as her medical gloves were faulty and she ran out of supplies. She was informed while Matthew was in the hospital that he was HIV-positive and that she might have been exposed to the virus due to cuts on her hands. After a few months of AZT treatments, she tested negative.

Matthew was transported to Ivinson Memorial Hospital before being moved to the more advances trauma ward at Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. He had fractures to the back of his head and in front of his right ear, severe brainstem damage, which affected his body’s ability to regulate his heart rate, body temperature and many others vital functions. A dozen small lacerations around his head, face and neck were noticed. His injuries were deemed too severe for doctors to operate. Matthew never regained consciousness and remained on life support. He was pronounced dead six days after the attack at 12:53 am on October 12, 1998. Matthew was 21 years old.

The two murderers were arrested on the night of the attack, due to an altercation with two hispanic youths that prompted police interventions. While searching one of the men’s car, the police officer found blood-smeared gun near Matthew Shepard’s shoes and credit card. They were initially charged with attempted murder, kidnapping and aggravated robbery. After Matthew’s death, the charges were upgraded to first-degree murder, making the two defendants eligible for the death penalty. As they later tried to persuade their girlfriends to provide alibis for them and dispose of evidence, one of them was charged with being accessories after the fact.

According to one of the murderer’s testimony, the two targeted Matthew as victim for robbery but the physical attack was triggered by the victim who put his hand of one their knees. As we shall call them, Murderer 1 pleaded guilty to murder and kidnapping charges. To avoid the death penalty, he agreed to testify against Murderer 2. He was soon sentenced to two consecutive life terms.

Murderer 2’s trial ran from October to November 1999. His girlfriend testified to the fact that they pretended to be homosexuals to get Matthew in the truck and rob him. His lawyer attempted the worst kind of defense, GAY PANIC DEFENSE, arguing temporary insanity by alleged sexual advances from the victim. It was rejected by the judge. The jury found Murderer 2 not guilty of premeditated murder but guilty of felony murder. He later received two consecutive life terms with no possibility of parole.

In the days following the attack, candlelight vigils were held all around the world. Matthew’s death was a cataclysm event felt across the entire Queer community and beyond.

On the day of his funeral attended by over 700 people, protestors from a Baptist Church circled the entrance of the church with signs bearing homophobic slogans like “Matt in Hell” or the classic “God Hates Fags”. They organized anti-gay protests during the trial of Murderer 2, prompting a friend of Shepard, Romaine Patterson, to assemble a group of people dresses in white robes and gigantic wings to block the protestors. That didn’t stop Matthew’s parents from having to hear gay slurs and insults directed towards them.

In December 1998, two months after Matthew’s passing, Judy and Dennis founded the Matthew Shepard Foundation, a non profit organization for outreach, advocacy and educational purposes. Judy is now president of the governing board, while younger brother Logan works there as well.

Judy and Dennis kept their activism alive to honor their son’s memory. On October 11, 2009, Judy addressed a rally for LGBT rights and said “I’m here today because I lost my son to hate… No one has the right to tell my whether or not he can work anywhere. Whether or not he can live wherever the wants to live and whether or not he can be with the one person he loves . No one has that right”. The same year, she released a memoir, The Meaning of Matthew.

New legislation to address hate crimes became a hot topic during the coverage of the murder as under United States federal law and Wyoming state law, crimes committed on the basis of sexual orientation would not be prosecuted as hate crimes. A bill was introduced in a session of the Wyoming Legislature that defined certain attack motivated by victim identity as hate crimes. The motion failed on a tie.

Under President Clinton, several attempts were made to extent federal hate crimes to include LGBT individuals. In November 1997 then in March 1999 to the Senate and the House of Representatives, with only the Senate passing it in July of the 1999. The next year, both houses passed the legislation, which was then stripped out in conference committee, whatever that bullshit is.

On March 20, 2007, The Matthew Shepard Act was introduced to the U.S. Congress as a bipartisan legislation. It passed the two houses once again but was dropped when President Bush indicated he would veto it if it reached his desk.

It took until October 28, 2009, when President Obama signed the approved measure into law to be implemented and secure hate crimes status for LGBTQ+ people. Judy Shepard was present next to the President.

No matter the somewhat homophobic drug theories that went on years after the incident, Matthew’s murder served as a window into the violence against the Queer community. It was a catalyst for the legal protections and federal hate crime legislation that the United States has today. Matthew Shepard was a ghostly figure in my life ever since I saw his picture for the first time when I was 17. I’ve spend hours lost in that picture. He lived 21 years on this earth and he’s been gone for just as long. Today, I honor him.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Twenty : B IS FOR BI

“… But it ain’t no lie, Baby Bi Bi Bi (Bi Bi)” N’Sync, 2000

Prior to the redaction of this article, I asked a very close friend of mine, who happens to identify as bisexual/pansexual (more on that later) one simple question — a way for me to see if I was heading in the right direction and be sure to do justice to this part of our community. What do you think the biggest obstacle for bisexuals is in 2019 ? “Invisibility. The lack of representation of bisexuality as a legitimate identity. The more you are out there, the more everything is normalized, and there’s so much talk about the G in LGBT, Gay men, and next to nothing when it comes to Bisexuals.”

Communities tend to make the same mistakes as societies, as we are born in the same environments and are influenced by the same principles. When it comes to the Queer Community, patriarchy wins. In the L G B T Q I +, the G is omnipresent (because they represent the MAN, usually white), the L takes a little place on the side, T is the most persecuted, I is invisible. But it’s the B that keeps being so fascinating to me. B is the most under appreciated, denied and dismissed of them all.

WHAT IS AND WHAT IS DEFINITELY NOT

Bisexuality : romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females, or to put more in a 2019 kind-of-term, to more than one sex or gender. Bisexuality is part of the three main classifications of sexual orientation alongside heterosexuality and homosexuality, but we’ve already talked about this. This is bullshit and it doesn’t matter. These are just principles that the world kept cramming into our faces when they didn’t know any better. Not anymore. Just like its three other “main” terms, Bisexuality was coined in the 19th century, and its history is as old as the rest of them.

Ancient Greeks (at least 550 BC) incorporated bisexual relationships into their practices, but not exactly in a sexual way. Men with wisdom and experience would often pass along their knowledge or strength (if you were a soldier) to the younger generation through the act of sodomy. Once the young would reach maturity, the relationship became non-sexual — supposedly. It did interesting to point out that stigmas were present when the sexual relationship continued after the boy’s adulthood. A preview of things to come, in terms of bigotry.

Another interesting detail into History, it is never mentioned that women could have sex with other women as well. Sure, Sappho wrote about the female beauty, but this was just poetry. History itself only mentions the Men, as only them could dominate and be part of the wisdom. In Ancient Rome, it was acceptable for a man to have sex with other men outside of marriage, as long as they were younger, not another man’s son (so, slaves) and if the man would be the one to penetrate. Patriarchy, La-dee-da, La-dee-da.

In our modern society, what is REALLY interesting to point out though, is that when it comes to bisexuality, it is not easily owned by the person who could represent him/her/themself as bisexual. Terms like queer, polysexual, heterofexible, homoflexible, MSM or FSM are thrown around as alternatives to bisexuality. Hmm.

Bisexual activist Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as “the POTENTIAL to be attracted — romantically and/or sexually — to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same TIME, not necessarily in the same WAY and not necessarily to the same DEGREE” which is going into more detail than the human heteronormative brain might comprehend at the moment, but pretty accurate to my knowledge.

What bisexuality is not, though, is what some papers found smart to call a transitional period. A study ‘found evidence of both considerable consistency and change in LGB sexual identity over time’ (there it is again, the confusion between orientation and identity. See my article from June 9th). Apparently, youth under that study who had identified only as bisexual at earlier assessments would then assume the gay/lesbian “identity” over time by 30 to 40%. I feel the need to clarify the situation ONE. MORE. TIME. Sexual orientation and identity are two separate things. Yes, scientists substitute those terms as easily as you might replace regular mayo with non-fat mayo, and it would be correct. But it creates way too much confusion. Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to. Identity is who you are, and it includes but not limited to sexual orientation. You can’t define yourself by your sexuality only. What the study is trying to explain (I hope) in a very broad and clumsy way is that sometimes, social circumstances prevent you from assuming and owing your real sexual orientation, whether it is straight or gay or whatever your orientation is. So a nice teenage cover up is the use of the term “bisexual” as a transitional period of time. I get it. I’ve done it. I made myself believe it for a long while. But that doesn’t make us bisexuals for a while THEN something else. I was always a homosexual. My non-nurturing environment didn’t give me the tools to put my dick on the table and say “I’m gay, bitches”. But to keep going back to that stereotype of the half closeted homosexual when it comes to have a general image of bisexuality is just so fucking wrong. A cliché, my dear. And now that I’ve mentioned it.

COMMON UNREAL NOTIONS

A person can be smart. People are dumb. So when it comes to understanding someone that you are not, crowds tend to go to the silliest questions. Like :

“So… Is there a percentage of how gay you were and how straight you can be?” Nop. Maybe someone can put a number on it, but it seems quite unrealistic to say “I’m like 40/60”. Sexuality is not be quantifiable.

“Do you think you’ll ever make a choice ?” There is no choice to make. Bisexuality is a definitive (though somehow less finite exploration of the human form) sexuality and thinking it has to evolve is offensive. Like saying that a gay man will get over it and go back to women eventually.

“But if you had to choose ?” You’re dumb. Your mother definitely fucked your uncle nine months before your birth.

“So you are dating someone of the opposite gender. Are you straight now ?” Fuck no. The gender of the person that I’m dating does not tilt the needle of the fucking outdated Kinsey scale.

“You are probably confused” You are probably ready to go fuck your mother’s pussy with a rake. And that was not a question.

“I could never date a bisexual. I would never be sure if he/she’s not looking at another guy/girl” So ? Your straight/gay boyfriend/girlfriend can still look around no matter what. If he/she’s a horn-dog, you should be worried. Bisexuals do not have more sexual desires because they can be attracted to multiple genders. Still not a question, dumbass.

“You’re so lucky, you have twice the chances to find someone, right ?” You failed math and it shows. AGAIN, being bisexual does not mean that romantic and sexual feelings are constant towards all genders all the time. They have the same troubles with human connexions as everyone because people are dumb, remember ?

“But you can’t actually know for sure until you’ve tried it both, don’t you think ?” I don’t know, did you try humping your uncle/father before you realized you were incestuous and you liked it ? Sorry, I meant to say sexual orientation does not need a try run to be real. You are what you are no matter what. You may sometimes ignore it for a while but it’s mostly because society never showed you it could exist.

“Do you believe that everyone is bisexual ?” No, I’m not Freud. I’m a grown man perfectly capable of understanding that bisexuality is not an umbrella-term for ALL sexuality.

“Don’t you think Bisexuality is a myth ?” This whole conversation is a myth. Gurl, Bi.

And that’s just the tip of the crushingly big iceberg. Bisexuals are constantly under the microscope of the rest of the world for existing outside the binary system of human recognition. You are a woman or a man. You like women or men. Simple. It never was. But the public (whether LGBTQ+ or not) insist on pushing the idea of bisexuality to the side and ignoring its legitimacy.

OSTRACISM

Worst than the usual queer rejection from society, bisexuals have it both ways by being denied true existence by society AND by the Queer community. Just look at their flag. The purple is crushed between the blue and pink, ready to disappear, not taking much space. You queers who are reading this article, don’t try to cop out and say “but I have no problems with bisexual people”. Fuck the fuck off. You fall into the same trap as heterosexuals. You fear someone who isn’t exactly like you. And do you actually date a lot a bisexual people ? Because last time I checked, bisexuals weren’t really talkative about their sexuality since it’s welcomed with such cold shoulders the white walkers are asking if they put on a nice little sweater. I keep coming back to a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a lesbian woman I know who said she could never date a bisexual woman as she would never be sure if she would stay gay for her and that she liked girls who knew what they wanted. Bisexuals know what they want. It may change from Monday to Tuesday (matter of speech) but I do believe the sexual attraction does not come from a switch inside them with two modes (either gay or straight) but from the individuals, whether closer to masculine or feminine traits, they might encounter that day. Again, that’s prejudicial and it makes you kind of a bigot but whatever.

Still on the subject of rejection, it’s not just romantic or sexual. If you go on the internet, there are countless examples of bisexual men or women who, after they came out as WHO THEY FUCKING ARE, had to face a change in the way people would treat them and act around them. A straight girl who couldn’t sit too close to her bisexual female friend because she could have a crush on her. A straight man who stopped giving hugs to his close bisexual male friend in case he would get the wrong ideas. OR a gay man or woman who would just end a relationship when they found out about their partner’s sexuality. Yep, I went back to sexual. Sue me.

Let’s put this out there : bisexual people are just as capable to commit to a monogamous relationship. It’s not because you fell in love with someone with a V that you’re gonna suddenly get hungry for the P. Don’t be a child.

Now, being rejected by society is one thing. We are queer, that’s our song, we twerk to it with vigorous enthusiasm. But the treatment of bisexuals in the Queer community is plainly unacceptable.

In France, when the Mariage pour Tous (fuck, I promised myself I wouldn’t use France again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Whatever.) succeeded after months of lobbying and manifestations from all sexual orientations, this was considered a victory for the LBGTQ+ community as a whole. But really, it was a success for Gay men and Lesbian women, as Bisexuals are not viewed as a consequential orientation. They are not visually recognizable to gay, lesbian or straight people, they don’t have the same historic tragedies that the general public know about and their sexuality has been used and abused as a motor for heterosexual male fantasies in pornographic movies and myths, thus keeping it from becoming a reality in people’s minds. It then becomes a vicious circle where the moral is low and the activism is nowhere to be found, so nothing changes. Bisexuals stay in the darkness (until they make a fucking choice, right ?). By the way, the term biphobia is never uttered but it’s real and it happens constantly.

WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU PAN ?

Something I haven’t totally mentioned yet is the term Pansexual. It’s actually the part of the article I was the most apprehensive about as if uninformed, is quite difficult to distinguish with Bisexual. Bisexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender. Well, Pansexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction to all genders, outside of the binary scope of what gender is, I guess ? That’s when things get complicated because people are really attach to the label “Bi” would argue that it does not limit them to only boys and girls but other genders. And then those really attach to the label “Pan” could argue that their term is more inclusive to transgender people, who are men and women but also non-binary individuals who do not identify with male and female identities’ basic definitions. Then I would say that to me, bisexuality is the more known and comprehensive umbrella term for what this romantic or sexual orientation is and that pansexual is a more recent word and kinda beyond the scope of bisexuality (in a good way). And then someone would tell me I have it all wrong and then I would shut the fuck up. Definite differentiation between bisexuality and pansexuality is a mindfuck for the ages, as is the term “feminism” to some these days. By the way, “Pan” means “All” in ancient greek and a synonym to Pansexual can be Omnisexual (“omni” is latin for “All”). But I don’t want to get too much into that, I don’t feel like I have the energy.

DOUBLE JEOPARDY

As I kept my searches broad for this article, I ran into a term that was used by SOS Homophobie to talk about discrimination of bisexual people. Double Jeopardy. We talked a lot about ways that straight folks can discriminate against bisexual people and a little bit about biphobia inside the Queer community but I would like to come back to the latter. I do write these articles for everyone but I seem to keep repeating myself quite a lot at the end of each of them, only because the problem seems to always be the same : as long as we are tearing each other apart, we won’t advance as one. Live together, Die alone, that sort of thing (Damn, I really do repeat myself).

To my queer peeps, do not fear the sexual preferences of your partner as your relationship do not depend on what gay or straight orientation she/he/they is/are gonna have that day. Do not make the mistake to judge them by their supposedly easy-way-out heterosexuality as they are not straight. They don’t hold more privileges than you in this world, as they might flip flop at convenience from one side to the other. A bisexual woman who falls in love with a man is still a Queer woman. It’s not your queer experience, but it is one and you need to embrace it. Do not put them down for it because they are already being put there by straight people on a daily basis.

All of this is based only on your own insecurities which have been fed by your minority status, your heteronormative education, your own ostracism from said heteronormative society and possibly your capabilities as a lover (ndlr : your fear of being dumped).

But most of all, do not ignore them. Those are your people. They hurt just as much as you (but between us, you can’t rank genders but in the prejudice scale, I’d say it comes at a close number 2. Think about it.) and they need your support, as you needed theirs when it was time to get that Mariage Pour Tous — damn, last time, I promise. Remember that this MPT was also for them. Every action you take as a community is an action to benefit them as well. As they are the B in LGBTQ+. Say it out loud. See how weird it sounds without the B.

Mic dropped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDab9piv_U

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Nineteen : FRANCE TODAY

Third and final part of our absolutely tiring saga on France and its LGBTQ+community. As we came to talk about everything in the past tense, from the rise of the Gay Rights Movements, the AIDS epidemic to the Mariage pour Tous, now is the time to explore the present and what’s ahead of us. After that, no more France (Maybe. Probably. Let me fake promise that real quick.)

THE LAST FIVE YEARS

Let’s put it all out there right now. Acts of homophobic nature have been in constant high ever since the massive Mariage pour Tous debate. Although you saw a 38% drop from 2013 to 2014, it went up again in 2015 and never stopped. In the annual report from S0S Homophobie (which “celebrates” its 25 years of existence. Condragulations ?) for 2018, homophobic violence was up 15% from the year before. 1905 people reported various forms of abuse. I was one of them. Twice. Physical attacks against LGBTQ+ people were up 66%, from 131 to 231, with one attack reported per day in the last semester. It now seems like homophobia and intolerance are part of our french DNA.

The internet site Spartacus publishes each year a ranking of the most welcoming LGBTQ+ countries in the world. It judges said countries on fourteen different issues that constitute the basis of the Queer movement (Anti-discrimination Laws. Marriage/Civil Partnerships. Adoption. Transgender Rights. Equal Age of Consent. Religious Influence. HIV Travel Restrictions. Anti-Gay Laws. Homosexuality. Illegality. Pride Banned. Locals’ Hostility. ProsecutionMurders. Death Sentence). In 2018, France was a sixth most welcoming country for LGBTQ+ travelers. A year later, it was ranked seventeenth. It seems that our lower ranking is due to the hostility of our citizens towards LGBTQ+ people. In fact, off the top 24 countries (out of 197), we’re the only one to get a -1 in that category — For the record, the last on the list is Chechnya, with a staggering -5 on the death sentence column.

Insults. Rejection. Ignorance. Defamation. Discrimination. Harassment. Outings. This is French LGBTQ+ people’s daily bread. Is that the price to pay for equal recognition under the law ?

WHAT’S UP WITH THE PEOPLE ?

If interested, I urge you to read the SOS Homophobe report for 2018. It’s a hefty 164 pages but it’s full of precious informations. So. The people. LGBTQ+ populations are still being persecuted, but this time it comes from the people. “Positively”, a trending fact for 2018 was the victims’ courage to speak out and report those attacks either on social media or to the police. One might say that the report seems more alarming because people speak out more, contrary to previous years. Fuck those people. It’s alarming. End of sentence. But if victims go more and more to social media to denounce injustices, social media is still a nest of hateful speeches from the scum of the earth. “La propagande des sodomites en action” posted one homophobe on Facebook. “Dommage qu’on ne soit pas dans les années 30 en Allemagne” said another about a 19 year-old lesbian girl outed on the same platform. “Les gens comme toi, on les brûle, on les viole”.

In November 2018, Bilal Hassani was chosen to represent France at this year’s Eurovision. Hassani is an openly gay genderfuckin singer-songwriter with a youtube channel where he talks about everything and anything. After the announcement, death threats, homophobic and racist tweets were invading his social media. The singer then posted a video talking about it, complaining about the lack of reactivity from Twitter and Facebook when it came to put a stop to it. When one Facebook user sent a warning about an offensive comment on the platform (“l’homosexualité est un péché, il faut l’éradiquer”), it was replied that the comment was not infringing on any of the site’s rules but sure, it could be seen as offensive. The user was only offered the possibility to block the author of the post. Social media is a double-edged sword. It gives you more exposure, better ways to interact with people like you, be celebrated for who you are. It also tries to take you down. And since the law hasn’t totally caught up with the cyber world, most racist, homophobic, sexist websites go through loops to keep their actions free of any consequences.

If only people were only hiding behind a screen. Unfortunately, being a public space has become a dangerous situation for any of the Ls, the Bs, the Gs, especially the Ts or any of the letters of the community. Parks, streets, subways. Anything can happen to us. People are usually attacked by groups of men in premedidated acts.

One of the most recent and choking attacks is dated March 31st in Paris, when 31 year-old Trans woman Julia was insulted, grabbed inappropriately, spit on, slapped and pushed around when she came out of a subway station at République. Videos of the attack went viral within minutes of the event. Julia later said the traumatic experience left her humiliated. The fact that it was filmed brought awareness to those problems and Julia went on to give a few interviews and gave a face to the injustice. That’s one brave woman.

Worst case scenario was the story of Vanessa Campos, a sex worker who was murdered in the night of August 16–17th 2018, defending herself against a group of men trying to bully and steal money from her community. It took weeks before any sorts of sympathies came from the government (it took a “marche blanche” organized by the people). The police was apparently aware of the previous acts of terrors perpetuated by this group of thugs and did nothing. Worst of all, the trash magazine that is Paris Match published pictures of Vanessa’s corpse and exploited her image while tarnishing her identity by using the pronoun “he” to describe the late victim.

One of the worst aspects of that every day reality — and I’m guilty of that as well — could be the trivialization of those acts as “it is what is”. Someone says “Faggot”, I shrug. A dirty look ? Well, I knew what kind of neighborhood I was in. A trans hooker is killed ? Well, she was a prostitute AND she was trans. Do you know why? Because that’s all we hear. From the moment we are conscious of words as children, jokes about faggots are made. Puns about lesbians are openly uttered. Transgender people and Bisexuals are great to make fun of in family dinners. It’s called “casual homophobia” and we’ve all been practicing it. “Fais pas ton enculé”, “Avec ta nouvelle coupe de cheveux, tu fais lesbienne”, “On est pas des pédé, ici”. 

The practice of ignorance and the absence of second thoughts on our actions and words are what’s keeping the homophobia alive and well. We live in a different time. Queer people are there. They exist and they are so diverse. Now is the time for cis people to collect those informations, try to understand them and mostly, to course correct their behavior. Do not talk like your parents because that’s what you’ve been hearing all your life and it feels normal. No, it’s not. Not anymore.

WHAT’S UP THE WITH LAW ?

Are we safe ? In the anti-discrimination law department, we’re getting a 2 out of 3 in the Spartacus scale. Not so bad, I guess. In fact, numerous laws and amendments are here to protect/avenge us, in the cases of torture (Art.222–3 5 TER CP), murder (ART.221–4 7CP), Violence (ART.222–10/222–8/222–12/222–13), rape (ART.222–24 9 CP), other kinds of sexual abuse (ART.222–30 6 CP), threats (ART.222–18–1 CP), insults (ART.R.624–4 CP) and so on and so on. Now you are considered discriminated against when you are refused a service, a job, a raise, when people are making your life more difficult IF the reason seems to be your sexual orientation. You can always go to the police but then, you’ll have to prove it. Same goes for the insults. If someone tells you “faggot”, it doesn’t matter if you are one or not, or if the person knows your sexual identity or not, you can sue. Not a “main courante”, but sue his/her/their ass(es). But careful, because then again, you’ll have to prove it. And it’s a long, long process.

 Another important problem in 2019. The police. I’m not going to try and tear a new one to them because we all know you can’t take an entire section of people and judge them the same way, but cases of unprofessionalism are everywhere and known. That’s why the datas on LGBTQ+ attacks are somewhat completely false, since most Queer people do not feel heard by the law and their representatives and therefore do not report any wrong doings. In Lille last year, a couple was insulted and physically abused on the street on the premise that they were faggots walking together. They were refused access to the police station as a police officer told them that they “should not have held each other by the arm. It was a provocation”. In Lyon, same story. The police refused to come to the scene of the attack, saying that the attackers were already gone and there was no point to go there. In Dordogne, a police officer said to a victim that he couldn’t file a complaint because “lopette” wasn’t a clear homophobic term. That is not true.

If you ever (and I hope you won’t) have to go through this, know that any derogatory term that are even slightly homophobic gives you the right to register a formal complaint, not a “main courante”. And if the officer is not cooperative, you ask to speak to his superior right away and you don’t leave until you are heard. If possible, go with a supporting loved one. I was lucky enough to run into a very comprehensive and caring police officer and took every single detail of my claim and treated me with respect. He even called me a few weeks later to tell me that the dossier had been sent to the Parquet de Justice and that something will be done. Sweet guy. It does not always work that way. “Vous l’avez pas un peu cherché?” would be the scariest thing to hear at a police station. Seeing officers laugh at the story of you getting chased on the street by a homophobe willing to break your jaw. Having an indifferent person at the other side of your phone call while your boyfriend is bleeding heavily from getting beaten with metal bars.

Also know that if the abuse, in the case of insults, are not accompanied by solid proofs, the case will be easily dismissed by the Justice department. In the best case scenario, there will be a “rappel à la loi” in which the abuser will be auditioned and sermoned, maybe a letter of apology. Then nothing. And if by any chance you go to court, the judge might call the verbal abuse you’ve been the victim of a simple “neighbor’s quarrel”. In 2017, only 25 cases led to conviction in front of a judge. That’s fucked up.

WHAT’S UP WITH RIGHTS ?

In terms of rights, we’ve already established that gay people can legally marry one another, that they are no longer considered mental ill and they can adopt kids (though two parents of the same sex cannot be on the birth certificate of the child). Yeah ?

But one of the big topics of 2018 and still very much alive in 2019 is the implementation of the PMA (Procréation Médicalement Assistée or IVF in english) for single women and lesbian couples. The CCNE (Comité Consultatif National d’Ethique) is favorable to open the practice to all, but the Conseil d’Etat, not so much. Clearly an inequality under the law, it seems that the pushback comes from the public opinion that influences the government. The methods to take that public opinions is, at best, shady, since its based only on forums organized by the CCNE to talk about those issue. 21,000 people participated in those events, filled with anti-PMA and religious subgroups, and also members of the newly-statured political party Manif pour Tous.

I told you we would talk about them again. MPF transitioned into a political party in April of 2015, although weirdly, they never presented any candidates to the European, Presidential or Municipal elections that followed. Apparently, the political status was designed to gain financial grounds and be exempt of many important taxes. Oh, you fuckers.

Anyway, they are very involved with the question of PMA. They recently announced (last week, actually) new actions and manifestations to protest the access of the procedure to single and gay women.

The PMA will be examined in September of this year in front of Parliament, following a statement from Edouard Phillippe, who finally decided to follow one of Emmanuel Macron’s campaign promises of 2017.

Meanwhile, debates on the GPA (Gestation Pour Autrui) will be blocked as the government has no intentions to legalize it either to the straight couples or the gay couples — but I’m guessing putting it on the table for the straight ones would open pandora’s box for the fags. Right ?

Finally, my one big concern come to blood donations and the restrictions we still have to face. Since June 1st, 2016, gay and bi men can give blood under the condition that they practice abstinence for a whole year. That’s kind of an improvement from the fact that before that, they were banned all together. But seriously ? How is our blood more dangerous that someone else’s ? Don’t you run tests before you get blood from someone ? Can’t you impose a universal check up on people ? Are you so fearful of Aids in 2019 ? Are is it the multiple hepatitis that we, gay people, spread around one another like fancy glitter ? Don’t you know by now that those kind of problems are not limited to gay, bi and “men who have sex with men” men ? I said fuck way too much in that article, but FUCK. FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK. FUUUCK!

Shit. I’m gonna stop here. I’m done. There are so much shit I haven’t talked about yet ! The mutilation of intersex babies (scandalous), the transgender rights (still a pile of shit), the social media trend of outing people (what the living fuck ?), work place homophobia (beware), the racial bias for LGBTQ+ people of color (enough!).

I’m so fucking tired. I can’t take it anymore. France suuuuucks. (deep breath) (focus) (find your center) (take a step back) Better. We are making strides in multiples areas. There’s not denying it. But everything is so fragile. A change of government, a foreign influence and everything can disappear in an instant. I can still get killed on the street because that day, I was wearing pink nail polish and the wrong person saw it. People still wishes that concentration camps were a reality, on the basis of religious morals that have no place in secular societies. I can’t change homophobes. I can only enter into a dialogue when possible and protect myself as much as I can. But here’s my plea to you, Queer people. Yes, the strides are great. We can marry, we can adopt, we can inspire to very different lives from the previous generation of queers. But if you are a cis white gay man, get your head out of your perfectly bleached asshole and defend those who are less fortunate than you.

Our goal as a community should be right now to advance Transgender rights in this country. Our moral obligation is to understand and make people understand Intersex people and put a stop (either inside or outside the community) to the bias against bisexuals. We cannot be strong and thrive if we ignore each other. Be a little less selfish and solidify those way-too-fragile grounds that our ancestors who went through death penalties, epidemics and public humiliations built for us.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Eighteen : LE MARIAGE POUR TOUS

Part Two of the extensively-researched and exhausting journey through France and its Queer citizens through time. As we explored France’s Past with Queer History yesterday, Today is about that very special time of 2012–2013 with the passing of Same-Sex Marriage. Tomorrow, our present and future. In this article, we’ll explore how we came to same-sex marriage, the opposition, the climate of the time and how much of a cunt you are if you ever thought “yeah, now we have same sex marriage, we can chill”.

As most of you must know by now, Same-sex marriage has been legal in France since May 18, 2013. It became the thirteenth country worldwide to allow same-sex couples to marry (out of 28 as of 2019). Unfortunately, even in a country that promotes itself as gay-friendly, it wasn’t an easy fight. And here are the highlights.

With the implementation of the PACS in 1999, the country was somewhat at peace with LGBTQ+ rights. It didn’t last long though. On June 5, 2004, Mayor of Bègles and former Green Party Presidential Candidate Noël Mamère conducted a same-sex marriage ceremony for two men. The Minister of Justice later declared the union null and void. The case went up to the Court of Cassation and the European Court of Human Rights, to zero positive results and Mamère was suspended from his functions.

In 2006, as the PACS was getting more and more rights, a committee on the “Report of the Family and the Rights of Children” argued that marriage, adoption and medically assisted reproduction for same-sex couples were still out of the question.

Flashforward to 2011. While the government was no longer trying to give more rights to LGBTQ+ people (it should be noted that only the L and G were in the public’s mind. Maybe a little L but with even less consideration), LGBT organizations decided to go the Constitutional Council and ask a review of same-sex marriage as unconstitutional. The demand was rejected and the question was send to the Parliament. On June 14th, the Assembly voted 293–222 NO to same-sex marriage. Socialists deputies were “mostly” in favor of the law and just like that, as gay rights were a major player in the 1981 presidential election, the same happened with the 2012 legislative AND presidential campaigns.

2012 AND ITS PROMISES

Power-thirsty candidate François Hollande announced during his presidential campaign his support for same-sex marriage and adoption for same-sex couples. To be fair, Hollande was already a vocal supporter of those rights back in 2004, while his partner at the time, Ségolène Royal, was less into it. Queer people had their cheerleader and, no spoilers here, Hollande won the election on May 6th, 2012. With a absolute majority at the Assembly a few weeks later came a promise of a bill no later than spring of 2013. The first draft was submitted to Parliament on November 7, 2012. And that’s when…

BIGGOT’S SHIT HIT THE FAN

November 17th, 2012 saw the creation a collective called “La Manif’ Pour Tous” (or MPF) as a response to the new government’s plea for same-sex marriage. Made mostly of faith-based associations (37 to be exact), it was founded by Frigide Barjot, Ludivine de la Rochère and Albéric Dumont. Yep, if you feel the need to thank anyone for feeling like a piece of shit back in 2013, those three seem like the main recipients.

I was going to do a portrait of Frigide Bardot but on second thoughts, she’s so not worth it. The self-proclaimed “press manager of Jesus” also created the ‘Collectif de l’Humanité Durable” which campaigns against abortion and euthanasia rights. Her quotes are as intelligent as “Same-sex marriages are like weddings between animals” and she’s a ridiculous person.

So, back to MPF. Did you know that of those 37 organizations, Le Monde found out that 22 of them did not exist or were just “empty shells” associations ? Hmm. Funny, right ? Anyway, on November 17th, the first manifestation is organized. Around 70,000 people took to the street with slogans like “La Famille, Patrimoine de l’Humain”, “Un Papa, un Maman, on ne ment pas aux enfants” or “Le Gender, c’est pas mon Genre”. What a bunch of clever little Jesus Freaks.

A second manifestation is put together on January 13th, 2013. This time, sources talk to close to 340,000 people all around Paris. Marine LePen was there, all smiling and happy. CUNT. A month later, 700,000 signatures were on a petition sent to the Conseil Economique, Social et Environnemental (CESE). The demands of the Manif pour Tous were rejected by the Tribunal Administratif of Paris, which dimmed it invalid, the Cour d’Appel of Paris and finally the Conseil d’Etat.

Third manifestation on March 24th. 300,000 people attended while the Right Party (UMP) joined the march.

On the fourth manifestation on April 21st, only 45,000 people were present, showing a slowing down of the bigoted movement. The Manif Pour Tous was tearing itself apart from the inside, with Frigite Bardot becoming a too crazy-and-permanent presence in the media and a few important organizations leaving the show, like Printemps Français.

Did you know that the Manif pour Tous was still active and is now a political party ? More on that tomorrow.

Nothing about that was funny. More than dramatic, it was a scary time for Queer People as La Manif pour Tous instigated a new rule to the game of life.

THE RIGHT TO HATE

It became apparent in 2013 that parts of the country was liberating themselves from its political correctness that came with the Aids Epidemic et the arrival of the PACS. A report from May 2014 announced a 78% gain in homophobic slurs and attacks in 2013. In total, 3500 cases were reported to the police at some point during the year. A third of those cases were linked to the Manif pour Tous. The media saturation on the subject made it an everyday debate from Monday to Sunday, from the workplace to the dinner table. A Queer person was being attacked every two days, mostly in public places.

Quote from the report “victims consider that the exposure to aggressive rhetorics gave the attackers a sense of encouragement, a feeling of doing the right thing, and favorable impunity when it came to act”. Queer people were forced back in the closet in some way, as just holding your partner’s hand or kissing in public could land you in the hospital.

Example : A lesbian couple in Lyon cuddled on the subway. A young homophobe saw that, called them “disgusting lesbians, whores, sluts, bitches” and hit them both. Example : On April 7th, 2013, the very public bashing of Wildred de Brujin while he was walking with his boyfriend in the streets of Paris (see article “Queer Community vs Violence”). Example : I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY. I, myself, was punched in the face in my car while surrounded by a group of thugs who didn’t like the fact that two guys were in a car talking in their neighborhood. They asked us “What are you doing here?”. We’re talking, what does it look like ? They said “We don’t want people like you around here, fuck off”. What people ? People who talk ? My window was open just enough for one of them to put his fist in my face. I turned the engine on, open the door wild to push them away and ran away. My friend was living on that street and we had to wait at least half an hour before coming back and letting him go home. I was furious. I kept on driving, my hands were shaking. I stopped the car twice. The first time, to calm myself down as I was about to faint from anger. The second time, I leaned over to my friend — who was just a friend — and kissed him for a full minute, tongue and all, and said “At least now, we were attacked for a reason”.

Social Media was full of openly homophobic tweets and Facebook posts. Poetic phrases like “Beeeeeeeeeeurk dans mes amis sur Facebook y’a une gouine”, “#BrulonsLesPD”, “#LesGaysNeSontPasHumainsCar” or “#LaFranceSansGays”. And don’t think for one second that the anonymity of the internet was the main reason for those statements. They were, but it was so bad back then, you would still hear them out loud ON THE FUCKING STREET.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED

On February 2, 2013, The Assembly approved the first article of the bill, legalization of same-sex marriage, 249 to 97. Opponents then introduced more than 5,000 amendments to the bill in order to slow down its passage. By February 12, the bill as a whole won 329–229 and was sent to the Senate. Same story starting there starting April 4th. First article approved 179–157. By April 23rd, with minor amendments, the bill came on top with 331–225. François Hollande promulgated the bill, commonly known as “Loi Taubira” in reference to its main sponsor, as law on May 18th, 2013. The first same-sex marriage took place in Montpellier on May 29.

146 mayors challenged the law and refused to officiate marriages for same-sex couples. Just so you know, a refusal to implement is considered discrimination based on sexual orientation and is punishable with up to 5 years imprisonment and a 75,000 euros fine. Their cases were send to the European Court of Human Rights in vain, as their were dismissed in October 2018. As of 2018, 40,000 same-sex marriages have been celebrated in France, approximately 3.5% of all French marriages in the 5-year time frame.

THE FIGHT HAS JUST BEGUN. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT ?

We talked laws. We talked Homophobia. We talked Fear. I know want to share an impression of the Post-Mariage pour Tous situation that I’ve shared many times with friends, who mostly agree with me. It seemed that after the gigantic milestone was sealed and done, and the celebrations of the 2013 pride went according to plan, there was some sort of general drop of shoulders from Gays and Lesbians all around the country. The common attitude felt like an extension of the commonly heterosexual thought that now that we had marriage, we were all good and equal under the law. Well, absofuckinlutly not. While we have the right to marry and adopt as Queer couples, it didn’t come with IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) for lesbian couples or any types of surrogacy for same-sex couples. Also, Gay men are still discriminated by the Law by not being able to give blood unless we’re a year abstinent. And for fuck’s sake, what about Trans rights ? Don’t you care about your Trans brothers and sisters ? That’s a story for tomorrow. Just know, dear Queer who is totally satisfied by the current situation, now that you have what you want, isn’t time to focus on those who don’t ? Wouldn’t be fair for this year’s pride to be all about parts of the community who is still search for their right to exist ?

See you then.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Seventeen : FRANCE IN THE BEFORE

This ain’t no punk ass patriotic bullshit about our supposedly great country. Just breathe. For the next three days, we’re talking how the country of the bread, the cheese and the Love handled its queers and how it can improve. Today, it’s all about the past. Tomorrow, an important milestone. The Day after Tomorrow, we’re talking present and future.

First and foremost, I urge you to read a little book called “Le Rose et Le Noir”, written by Frédéric Martel (1996), which explains in deeper ways the journey LGBTQ+ People went through in this land. Every single Queer French individual should read it once. That being said, let’s dig in. Beware, There’s a LOT a dates.

THE REVOLUTION

The Nation was never in favor of homosexuality. I know, it sound obvious but it needs to be written. Voltaire said of homosexuality “a disgusting abomination and an attack against the laws of nature”. A fellow 18th century writer was quoted calling it the “abominable lust” and argued the death penalty for the guilty, comparing it to bestiality, prostitution and incest. With the French revolution of 1789 and the adoption of the Penal Code, homosexuality was no longer considered a crime per say BUT (and it’s a big butt) sodomy was still illegal (and will stay illegal for quite a while). A special police force was put together around that time. They created a dossier of every known homosexual, gay prostitutes and transvestites (I’m surprised transvestites were a thing back then) living in or around Paris, calling it the “registre des pédérastes”. Up until 1981 (important date, remember it), that dossier was used by the police to blackmail homosexuals. In 1942 — I know, flashforward, we’re on the fast lane — the Vichy regime implemented a new twist to the law, stating that the legal age of consent ought to be 13 (changing to 15 a few years later) for people having sex with someone of the opposite gender, and 21 for citizens having sex with people of the same sex as them. The adult in this situation could take as much as three years of prison and a 6000 francs fine. The fine grew to 15 000 francs after a new amendment signed by the Général De Gaulle.

Nevertheless, the first French homophile association called Arcadie was created in 1954. Their purpose was to “present homosexuals as respectable, cultured and dignified individuals deserving of greater social tolerance”. It went on to have its own publication of the same name, until its end in 1982.

To put it briefly, although homosexuality was not a crime, every christian moral codes were protected through very intelligent maneuvers from french governments, keeping homosexual on a leach and in fear of constant consequences for their actions. Example, Donatien Alphonse François de Sade, or Le Marquis de Sade wrote numerous times about homosexual acts (120 journées de Sodome, 1785, Philosophie dans le Boudoir, 1795) and he spent thirteen years in prison.

THE SECOND REVOLUTION (BUT FIRST ONE FOR THE QUEERS)

1968, France. Strikes. Manifestations. Social changes. 1969, New York. Stonewall Riots. Birth of the Gay Rights Movement.

1971, France. Creation of the Front Homosexuel d’Action Révolutionnaire, or FHAR (pompous French queers). To many, a very controversial association mostly because it did not make a distinction between homosexuals and pedophiles, leaving these said pedophiles many occasions to speak out and plead their case. To that, I say Fuck. You. FHAR. On the political side , The Right considered homosexuals as perverts. The Left was unofficially okay with them as long as it stayed an undisclosed private matter. The workers were against them. The Communists were against them as well. Not. A. Great. Start. No one was taking them seriously. When one member of FHAR asked a question to Jacques Duclos, Leader of the French Communist Party, he responded “How dare you asking me a question, faggot ? Go get some help (…) men are supposed to love women”.

In 1972, Le Nouvel Observateur published an article written by young writer-to-be Guy Hocquenghem in which he publicly came out. It is considered to be the homosexual version of the “Appel du 18 Juin”. Hocquenghem is a very face-slapping figure in the gay social movement in France. I covered his life in a post from last year and even then, I wasn’t sure he deserved it that much. That guy was always looking for the wrong words that would ignite the fire even bigger.

But for that gesture of bravery on January 10, 1972, I salute him.

In order to survive, FHAR went hand in hand with another brand new association called the MLF (Mouvement de Libération des Femmes) which included a certain amount of lesbian women. FHAR was present during the first official MLF manifestation of November 1971. Soon enough, a new fringe movement called “Les Gouines Rouges” would distance themselves from the MLF and would prove to be a disruptive force in the political scape.

The public’s acknowledgement of LGBTQ+ people were slowly but surely growing. In 1973, “La Cage aux Folles” became a theatre sensation and a special issue of Recherches called “Three Billions of Perverts” was published — the editor of the magazine would later be condemned for “Outrage aux bonnes moeurs”.

By February 1974, FHAR was dead, replaced by the Groupe de Libération Homosexuel, or GLH. One of the historical figures of this group went on to be writer Jean-Louis Bory, who is the author of my favorite queer quote of all time “Je n’avoue pas que je suis homosexuel parce que je n’en ai pas honte. Je ne proclame pas que je suis homosexuel, parce que j’en suis pas fier. Je dis que je suis homosexuel parce que cela est.”. That quote is the perfect example of philosophical differences between FHAR and GLH. While FHAR was trying its best to be showy, outrageous and getting recognition through provocation, GLH was calling for the right to indifference. Also, GLH was smart enough to distance itself from the Pedophiles subgroups and to that, I say good for you, GLH. Bory committed suicide in 1979.

On June 25th, 1977, the first Gay pride was organized, through the support of the MLF. Seeing the rise of the gay rights movement, politicians weren’t bending. Most of the gay magazines created during the 70s were banned by the Ministre de l’Intérieur in 1978. The movement didn’t bend either. The following year was created the magazine “Gai Pied”, an institution that would last until 1991.

As the world was changing and the gay movement was growing, equal rights and recognition from the government became a key factor in the 1981 presidential election.

During his presidential campaign, François Mitterrand announced that his future government would implement changes to the treatments of homosexuals in France. First, the special police put together by the government decades ago to surveil homosexuals would be disbanded for good. Second, the dossier linked to that special brigade would continue to exist but only in a limited form. Third, homosexuality would no longer be considered as a mental illness by the OMS. Fourth, presidential pardon to every homosexual crimes to previous felons.

Mitterrand was elected in May of 1981. By August, all of those promises were kept. But don’t go and cheer for that sweet man. He later became guilty of the same crime as his american counterpart of the time, Ronald Reagan, and ignored the AIDS epidemic for way too long. I’m not trying to spit on his memory but let’s be real : he used our people to get elected and then let them die in a corner. That’s the tea. It wouldn’t take long for those crimes for as of December 31, 17 cases of HIV/AIDS infections were found in France.

THE AIDS EPIDEMIC IN FRANCE

While the Association des Médecins Gays was putting together seminars to form doctors on how to deal with the new disease and GHL created an alert system to keep inform as many homosexuals as possible, 31 new cases were announced by the end of 1983, 92 by December 1984. Meanwhile, the government did little to nothing to prevent the spreading of the disease. Despite the OMS’ advice of implementing blood transfusion safety procedures, one of the 80s’ greatest scandals showed its face : L’Affaire du Sang Contaminé. It would later be denounced as a major crime from the government and multiple heads would fall and condemned for “involuntary main slaughter”.

The non-profit organization AIDES was created in 1984 by Daniel Defert after the death of his partner Michel Foucault (who was a founding member and regular contributor of Gai Pied). It became an urgency to have a platform dedicated to prevent but also inform and help patients with HIV/AIDS. By December 1985, 959 french citizens were diagnosed with HIV. The government, now with Jacques Chirac as Premier Ministre, was still not contributing in any way shape or form.

We had to wait until April 27, 1987 to see the first first government prevention campaign. “Le Sida ne passera pas par moi”. By then, over 4000 french people were infected.

Just like in the rest of the world, LGBTQ+ people were left to die, silenced by their own “cancer”. By the end of the century, 51400 cases of HIV/AIDS were found in the country. Even with the creation of ACT UP in 1989, the numerous efforts of Aides and the sudden realization by the french government that their citizens were in mortal danger, it was too little too late.

MEANWHILE IN PARTNERSHIP AREAS

What ? Did you think HIV/AIDS was just an 80s problem ? Bish, please. While people kept dying and activists kept fighting, many non Aids-related decisions were being made.

In 1989, The court of cassation refused all recognition of homosexual partnership in the eyes of the law. From that moment on, every year a new development in a Civic Union Partnership would be talked about or offered to the Parliament. The Petit Robert dictionary adapted its definition of “Love” from “relationship between a man and a woman” to “relationship between two individuals” in 1993. Nice. In 1994, The European Parliament advised all members of the E.U. to adopt anti-discriminations legislations in order to protect every citizen’s rights, no matter their sexual orientations. (SPOILER ALERT : It would take 10 years for France to wake the fuck up) In 1995, Tétu launched its first issue while Canal+ aired “La Nuit Gay” one full evening about homosexuality. In 1998, the term PACS (or Pacte Civil de Solidarité) appeared on the news. Equal but separate, a first step towards actual civil rights. The Laws of Commission adopted the law in September, but the Assembly rejected the proposal, mostly due to the lack of support from the Right and some much absentee deputies from the left that day. Fucking cowards. In December, the law is offered again to the assembly and passed after 64 hours and 30 minutes of debate. On January 30, 1999, over 100,000 people got to the street to oppose the PACS proposal. Christine Boutin is their unofficial leader, with slogans like “PACS=PD” or “LET’S BURN THOSE FAGGOTS”. In March, the Senate rejected for the first time the PACS. The Law would go to the Senate four times until October of the same year to be approved, after a change is its legislation that would not explicitly talk about homosexuals but would open the PACS to everyone. 

On October 13th, with 315 votes yes and 249 for a no, the PACS is approved. It became a law on November 15th, 1999. The First PACS was signed on November 22nd. 28,000 will follow in the spam of five months. In case you didn’t know, a PACS contract afforded you most of the legal protections, rights and responsibilities of marriage, except when it comes to actually calling it marriage or adopt or use artificial insemination. Also, until 2005, you couldn’t file a joint tax returns — the only real benefit of marriage, by the fucking way.

Very quickly, The Parliament added sexual identity to the protected grounds of discrimination in French Law in July of 2012. Yes, sexual identity. We are only protected and able to sue against discrimination based on our sexual identity for the past seven years. And Lawmakers controversially used “sexual” identity instead of “gender” identity. Because fuck those transgender people ? More on that later. All of that followed an 2004 amendment making homophobic comments illegal with maximum penalty of 45,000 euros fine and/or 12 months imprisonment.

Finally, In the 2008–2009 school year, a policy fighting all forms of discriminations, including homophobia, in schools was announced and implemented. And now, everything is fine.

Oh, and yes, Faggots kept on dying, whether through complications due to AIDS, suicide or violence towards them.

Tomorrow, we’ll go deep into 2012–2013, such a fun time to be Queer in France. Until then, bye.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Sixteen : THE QUEER KING RECOMMENDS

The Queer King recommends THE DEATH AND LIFE OF MARSHA P. JOHNSON (2017) No one knows what really happened to activist and trans pioneer Marsha P. Johnson the night she died. People still trying to understand. Why do you need to see it ? Marsha P. Johnson is an icon and learning about her is learning about Stonewall and our culture.

The Queer King recommends FAGGOTS, Larry Kramer (1978) Fred Lemish, looking for love, gravitates in a New York City full of glory holes, BDSM, orgies and becomes disillusioned along the way. Why do you need to read it ? It’s Kramer’s first novel. It’s ruff. His writing doesn’t shy away from the reality of gay life and he does not take any prisoners alive. A must read.

The Queer King recommends TANGERINE, Sean Baker (2015) On Christmas Eve, Sin-Dee discovers her pimp boyfriend has been cheating on her. With her friend Alexandra, she goes searching for him Why do you need to see it ? Shot on an IPhone for a ridiculous amount of money, this dramedy puts trans women up front with incredible narrative audacity.

The Queer King recommends A LITTLE LIFE, Hanya Yanagihara (2015) Jude, Willem, JB & Malcolm are best friends living in New York City. From college to middle-age, with most focus on Jude, you will learn to care for them like no other fictional characters before. Why do you need to read it ? I can’t stress this enough. This novel is extraordinary. 18 months later, I’m still not over it. It will break your heart.

The Queer King Recommends PLEASE LIKE ME, Josh Thomas (2013–2016) Josh discovers he’s gay, putting a spin in the lives of his girlfriend, his lazy best friend, his newly-wed dad and his depressed mother. Why do you need to see it ? This Australian comedy achieves in tone and heart what Looking never could. And also, there’s Arnold. Oh, Arnold.

The Queer King Recommends HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH, John Cameron Mitchell (2001) Hedwig, an East German gender queer rock singer, is waiting for her operation that will get rid of the one-inch mound of flesh between her legs. Why do you need to see it ? Poignant, full of incredible tunes and an extraordinary performance from writer-director JCM. Sugar Daddy, Bring it Home.

The Queer King Recommends THE PRINCE OF SALT/CAROL, Patricia Highsmith (1952) Young Therese meets Carol, an rich older woman. The “friendship” that will follow will change her life forever. Why do you need to read it ? An unprecedented feat in literature, a lesbian love story in which the protagonists are not punished in the end. The movie adaptation by Todd Haynes is also a must-see.

The Queer King Recommends 120 BATTEMENTS PAR MINUTE, Robin Campillo (2017) France, 1990s. Act Up. The AIDS Epidemic. Love. Revolution. Why do you need to see it ? To remember what happened. It’s earth-shattering. Silence = Death. What are you waiting for ? Go see it, now !

The Queer King Recommends ONE DAY AT A TIME (2017–2019) A family of hispanic descent tries to survive in today’s America. Why do you need to see it ? For the greatest coming-out storyline on television. So perfect. Bring the show back!

The Queer King Recommends GIOVANNI’S ROOM, James Baldwin (1956) David, a young american who lived in Paris, remembers his complex relationships with the men in his life, particularly a bartender named Giovanni. Why do you need to read it ? Top-3 greatest gay novel of all-time. The first time I read it, I couldn’t finish it. I read the last 30 pages 4 years later. It’s THAT powerful.

The Queer King Recommends A VERY ENGLISH SCANDAL , Stephen Frears. (2018) Three-part miniseries about the Jeremy Thorpe Scandal. Why do you need to see it ? Three words. Whishaw. Davies. Frears. Funny as fuck. I’m starting a Ben Whishaw fanclub BTW.

The Queer King recommends THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT, Stephan Elliott (1994) Three drag queens take a road trip across Australia to get to a paid-job. Why do you need to see it ? One of the rare 90s positive representation of LGBT+ people, it’s funny, gorgeous looking. A classic. PS The soundtrack is IN-CRE-DI-BLE.

The Queer King recommends JUST KIDS, Patti Smith (2010) The chronicles of a love story beyond societal restrictions between Patti Smith and revolutionary artist Robert Mapplethorpe. Why do you need to read it ? Aside from the historical accuracy of the 60/70s, you explore what it feels like to really love someone. And Mapplethorpe is a fascinating man. I cried multiple times.

The Queer King recommends THE X PORTOFLIO , Robert Mapplethorpe (1978) A series of photographs that shade a light on homosexual practices (most of them extremes). Why do you need to see it ? A lot of Mapplethorpe’s work is great, but this is beyond. Not for the sensible soul. Hardcore.

The Queer King recommends SHORTBUS, John Cameron Mitchell (2006) An extremely diverse group of people are desperately trying to connect in a vibrant New York City. Why do you need to see it ? That little miracle isn’t shy about sex. ALL kinds of sex. It’s very much like a Robert Altman movie, if Robert Altman shot a lot of oral sex in his career.

The Queer King recommends LESS, Andrew Sean Greer (2018) As his 50th birthday is coming up, writer Andrew Less is traveling around the world to avoid going to his ex’s wedding. Why do you need to read it ? For the exploration of a gay man’s psyché while his youth and opportunities are behind him. As a gay man, it made me sad. Then it gave me hope. Also now, I want a blue suit.

The Queer King recommends CLOSET MONSTER, Stephen Dunn (2015) 18-year old Oscar tries to figure out his sexuality and face his childhood demons Why do you need to see it ? The Buffy references and great acting. Duh.

The Queer King recommends THE WAY HE LOOKS, Daniel Ribeiro (2014) Blind high school student Leo meets new classmate Gabriel. He starts developing romantic feelings towards him. Why do you need to see it ? Desires and self-realization are themes very well exploited in this movie. The two main actors are phenomenal. I almost wished I was 16 again (but not really).

The Queer King recommends WHEN WE RISE, Cleve Jones (2016) A complete memoir about the journey of activist Cleve Jones, following into the path of Harvey Milk to keep fighting for LGBTQ+ rights and against the AIDS Epidemic. Why do you need to read it ? An in depth look at life at the fore front of activism, with gorgeous interludes of romance, sex and heartbreaks.

The Queer King recommends KILLING EVE, Phoebe Waller-Bridge (2018-present) MI:5 Eve Polastri’s pursuit of International killer Villanelle. Why do you need to see it ? Because lesbian desires are still mostly unseen on mainstream, award-winning programs. It’s very, very, very good.

The Queer King recommends ZIGGY, STARDUST & ME, James Brandon (2019) 1973. Jonathan meets Web. He’s not supposed to. He needs to change. Sweet Ziggy won’t help him now. Why do you need to read it ? It’s not out until August (but I have a proof copy). It’s not great literature (it’s YA after all) but it did fill my heart with feelings of love and hope. Everything Bowie is good for the soul anyway.

The Queer King recommends PRIDE, Stephen Boresford (2014) 1984, Brittain. A strike is breaking the country apart. Lesbians & Gays decide to give their support to the miners. Why do you need to see it ? Because it’s still rare to see a funny movie about gay people which is not condescending.

The Queer King recommends ANGELS IN AMERICA, Tony Kushner (1991–1993) A complex, metaphorical examination of American life, the AIDS epidemic and homosexuality in the 80s. Why do you need to read it ? The writing is glorious, full with incredible characters. A very sensitive approach of flaws in the human spirit. It’s epic.

The Queer King recommends LE ROSE ET LE NOIR , Frédéric Martel (1996) Everything that happened to the Queer community in France from 1968 until the arrival of the PACS. Why do you need to read it ? Information is key. You won’t get a deeper source of information.

The Queer King recommends LILTING, Hong Khaou (2014) A mother tries to understand who her son was after his death, co-existing with his grieving lover. Why do you need to see it ? A story of death, acceptance and race, Lilting is a delicate piece of filmmaking. And again, Ben Whishaw. Goddamn Ben Whishaw.

The Queer King recommends MOONLIGHT, Barry Jenkins (2016) The youth, teenage years and adult life of a black gay man struggling with his identity. Why do you need to see it ? Black gay men are not a common subject. It won Best Picture at the Oscars. Fucking Amazing.

The Queer King recommends POSE (2018-present) The tribulations of gay and transgender characters in the ball scene of the late 80s. Why do you need to see it ? The first of its kind — where representation is limitless, it’s an homage to a fabulous and terrible time in LGBTQ+’s life. As I said in a previous article, it’s essential.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Fifteen : INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA

In his 1998 paper called “Internalized Homophobia and Health Issues affecting lesbians and Gay Men”, Iain R. Williamson defines the term as “Individuals within lesbian and gay communities (who) may internalize significant aspects of the prejudice experienced within a heterosexist society”

He also, right from the start, distances himself from the term “homophobia” as a word that in many ways is unhelpful and inaccurate as it put the emphasis on fear and contextualizes the prejudice within the individual rather than in society and its structures. Still, Internalized Homophobia is the watchword.

In short terms, Internalized homophobia refers to all the negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma and prejudice about homosexuality and LGBT+ people that someone who has same-sex attraction can feel inside of him/her/them. Depending on how the person truly identifies with (gay, straight, closeted, etc), it can include extreme repression and denial that forces outward displays of heteronormative behavior for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel “normal” (ugh, here’s that word. again.)

It is a series of conscious and mostly unconscious behaviors in which the person feels the need to promote or conform to cultural expectation of heterosexism. Heterosexism : discrimination or prejudice against homosexuals on the assumption that heterosexuality is the normal normal orientation (just so you know).

A LOOK IN THE MIRROR

“Self-hatred that occurs as a result of being a socially stigmatized person” (Locke, 1998)

That term has been denied by many LGBT+ people as it doesn’t seem to make any sense to many of them. First, “internalized” suggest “weakness rather than the resilience demonstrates by lesbians and gay men”. Then, the word “homophobia” seems like a difficult and seemingly illogical possibility. How can someone who identifies as gay also have feelings of dislike, fear, and true disgust towards themselves ?

Sure, you can switch the term for “homonegativity” or “self-prejudice” all you want, we’ll end up in the exact same place.

You can “easily” identify the scale of your internalized homophobia by going through four key areas of a queer person’s identity : 1. Public identification as being queer 2. Perception of stigma associated with being queer 3. Degree of social comfort with other queer people 4. Beliefs regarding the moral and/or religious acceptability of homosexuality and queerness.

Let’s put myself through the lie detector test that is this totally truth serum article.

I’m completely out to the rest of the world and I have no problem as to identity myself as queer to family members, friends, strangers and the society in general. That problem is solved. Next.

Stigma ? There’s none. We are loved. — Oh no, I do see, feel and suffer from the stigmas that society put on queer people. My way of fighting it is through long and difficult analysis of every aspect of it. With those articles. In my everyday life. I’m aware. I deal with it. So, next.

That’s a doozie. It’s been an evolving process with time. I’ve always had social awkwardness around people, especially big crowds. That’s why I never go to Pride. Well, one of the reasons. As I was developing who I was and how I perceived myself inside the gay community, I would, from time to time, put judgement on some attitudes or ways of being. The eccentric and hyper feminine people I would meet. Oh, youth. I do not do that anymore but I see that , just when a person of color who looks shady comes into my place of work, I tend go straight for the clichés and judgement. I correct myself immediately though. God, society. What did you do to me ?

Fuck society. Fuck religion. Fuck your middle-age opinion of me. Done.

For the third area of expertise, I truly needed to take a huge step back and question my every thought to realize what I was doing. It’s hard to recognize your crimes, especially when those are be committed by others around you on a daily basis. The excessive judgement of other LGBT+ people. The feeling of disgust other LGBT+ people who don’t express themselves in a more heteronormative way. The anger and embarrassment that other LGBT+ people who don’t act like you can “represent” you.

If, like me, you ever ran into those thoughts, be very aware that thinking that is basically colluding with heterosexism and the philosophy of heteronormativity and therefore you are harming other LGBT+ people. Respect the diversity of the community. Respect other people’s individualism.

By oppressing others who are not like you, you are oppressing yourself. Know that you always go for the kill when you do not want to realize there’s something “wrong” with you.

Sometimes, it manifests in what looks like innocent and funny remarks about others. I’m wearing bright pink nail polish at the moment, and if someone I know comes to me and says “well, that’s not I thought a man could wear on his nails but cool for you”, it would sound like nothing. Well, as a great friend told me yesterday about micro-attack on women and how it’s not always obvious but when you’re aware of it, you can feel it in your guts, that was homophobic. And the person who said it doesn’t think so, well that’s internalized homophobia. Your choice to let it slide as unimportant or to try and educate others. I know, it’s tiring and no one is forcing you too. I do believe that’s the only way to gain progress, though.

It can be as common as “I wish I weren’t gay” or feeling alienated from yourself because of your sexual orientation, even if you are out. If you sometimes think “If someone offers the chance to be completely heterosexual, I would take it” then baby, that’s internalized homophobia and you need to seriously work on yourself.

Sometimes, it manifests in bigger, way more harmful situations. I can’t help but think about some of my former schoolmates and the place I come from. Homosexuality was not a open subject. The only gay kid out was the target of so many jokes — though I did not participate in them, I am guilty by omission, as I said nothing to save my own “not-sure-how-to-come-out skin”. But those cunts who made those jokes, I’m pretty sure they were secretly masturbating to men, never for a one second in any conditions to admit this to themselves or others. So imagine a guy like that. If he’s never in a mental or social position (religion, family, values) to come out, what is he gonna do when confronted by what seems to disgust him the most ? Someone’s gonna get hurt. He will self-harm of worse, beat the shit out of some poor queer boy, maybe kill him (the Orlando Gunman was rumored to have been a closeted homosexual. You do the math.) Yes, maybe it’s just “regular” homophobia. Maybe not. Why not start a global conversation about it to avoid some of those unfortunate events ?

WHAT IT DOES TO YOU AND US

Internalized homophobia can prevent you from leading a fulfilling life. It keeps you in a place of perpetual shame, stress and anxiety. You can ruin your relationships (romantic, sexual, friendly) and follow a path of bitterness. Whether you cannot come out or are unable to embrace everybody’s differences, that’s mostly LOVE that you are missing out on. You also harm the individuals around you. Judgmental and hurtful outbursts can break people apart. That shame, stress and anxiety can poison someone else’s mind. Finally, on a more massive scale, your internalized homophobia, when left unchecked, can only feed the pain and struggle of the community. Live together, die alone.

Heterosexism is the real enemy. The queer’s whisperer. It enforces heteronormativity, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, all kinds of fucking phobias, keeping us shortsighted and fighting amongst ourselves. Live together, die alone.

WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO

Think Critically. Do not deny the notion outright.

Read more about it. Why do you think I’m writing those articles ? I ain’t making any money off of it !

Lean about the history of LGBTQ+ rights and movements. I swear, that’s how I gained perspective on this shit.

Get the fuck away from Toxic influences. Family members. Idiotic friendships. Some bullshit media. Anything that doesn’t not prone acceptance as a authentic value for everyone should not influence your judgement.

Practice self-awareness. Be aware of your negative reactions. Examine the sources of your thoughts and be critical of them.

More importantly, Remember that internalized homophobia is not coming from inside of you. You are not sick, and you don’t need a cure. It was forced upon you by a suffocating and violent homophobic society. Guilt and shame towards your realization of internalized homophobia become quickly pointless. Take a break. Take the steps, one by one, and free yourself of that weight that we are ALL kept down by.

The more you know (and shooting star).

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Fourteen : G AS IN GAY

GAY… MEN ?

It is quite hard to tackle what gay is exactly as it looks simple enough but the specifics are way more complex. If I use it as an umbrella term, it covers men, women, trans men and trans women who happens to identify with this sexual orientation. Easy then. But the term “gay” was rejected by many lesbian women who wanted to forge an identity on their own aside from the shadows of homosexual men. So today, you can come out as a ‘gay woman’ but never use the word because it is still too broad and tight to people who are not exactly you and have more privileges. Also, and that’s the really interesting thing about it , the word gay has been favored by homosexual men most of all when describing their sexual orientation. And since I’m trying to cover everyone, I think it’s quite inevitable I begin dissecting what’s closest to one category. Consider this article about Gay Men — sorry, everyone else. You did or will get your due.

SEMANTICS

The word “Gay” is an english word which made its appearance in the 12th century. It comes from the very old french word “Gai”. “Gai” meant joyful, carefree or bright and showy. A meaning that was incorporated its english counterpart with the now famous Gay Nineties of late 19th century. Gay became a synonym of Homosexual in the 20th century. That’s when it got real sexual. Although to be fair, in certain circles, it was already the case, as someone gay could mean “addicted to pleasures and dissipations”.

One of my favorite movies of all time, Bringing Up Baby (1938) with the exquisite Katharine Hepburn, seems to be the first film to use “gay” in reference to homosexuality. Cary Grant is forced to wear a woman’s feather-trimmed robe when his clothes are sent to the cleaners. To that he says “I just went gay all of a sudden!”. And believe me, he was not in a carefree mood.

The earliest paper trail of the use of gay as homosexuals comes from Alfred A. Gross who said something so vile, I cannot NOT share it with you (as it shows how the world perceived, perceive and keep making us perceive ourselves) : “I have yet to meet a happy homosexual. They have a way of describing themselves as gay but the term is a misnomer. Those (…) are about the saddest people I’ve ever seen”.

If you really go into the specifics of what gay and straight mean, you see the world’s perspective of those “life choices”. Straight means seriousness, respectability, moral. Gay means uninhibited lifestyles and hedonistic values. And I’m not even gonna mention all the euphemisms that were created after the word gay. I already did in a previous article.

GAY AS AN IDENTITY

Gay as an “identity” is not something that is embraced by all. Some find it too clinical, focused more on the physical actions of one rather than his romantic feelings. Some rejects it because they see the undesirable cultural connotations and still-current negative slang usage of the word. Some loathes because it sounds too limited and box-like. I find it too broad and unfair to the rest of the community. Gay was for so long everyone in the community in the eyes of the general public. Because men were the most flamboyant and out there for so long, they overshadowed the rest of their brothers and sisters and appropriated the word for themselves, forcing the slow built of the acronym L G B T Q + (One letter at a time). As usual, men (as homosexual as they were) weren’t gonna let space for anyone else. Now, everything “gay” is a direct reference to homosexual men. A gay bar is mostly directed at bars with men. But let’s be real for a second. As GAY MEN, it is quite hard to forge ourself a proper “identity” with this word as its use has been turn so much against us.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -

“That’s so gay” This pejorative usage had its origins in the late 1970, as homosexuality was seen (ahah, “was”) as inferior or undesirable. it is still a common phrase for people nowadays. I honestly can’t stand it. EVEN gay people use it and I’m not even sure they grasp the irony of their words. It harms the community by using a common phrase that spreads casual homophobia. Don’t do that, it’s LAME (see, another way to say things. Isn’t it nice?)

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Gay is not an identity. If you are a gay man, or an homosexual man (whatever the term you want to call yourself), you are describing your sexual orientation. Though it is part of your identity, you have a lot more to publicly claim that your love for cock — and if you can only define yourself as a cocksucker, well you’re more narrow than my top, almost-never-bottomed asshole.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF GAY YOU WERE ?”

PINK TRIANGLE

It is commonly accepted that a gay man needs to walk a certain way (or “funny”), talk a certain way (or “girly”) and dress a certain way (or “colorful” which can also describe their personalities). As television and cinema were slowly opening up to the idea of homosexuality, it was shown that a man who loves other man had to show it in every way possible. Be gayer that gay. What’s the point of all your fuss if we, straight people, can’t even recognize you ? The truth is, as I’ve said earlier, gay is not an identity. If you happen to be a homosexual, you identity traits should not be affected by it. Unfortunately, we are a group in constant renewal as we are not born into our community but later join it (or not). And since the world has mostly denied us existence, the only basic structure we have is the simplistic binary heterosexual perception the world has of us. The colorful ones.

Matt Bomer is gay. Liberace was gay. Do you see any specific identity traits between the two of them, beside their sexuality ? 

That doesn’t mean you can’t cultivate your feminine traits, be flamboyant and fabulous. But just like everything else, you need to be sure that you have this inside of you because it is you, not because you adapted to the heterosexual gaze. And that’s just the idea of gayness that has been cultivated by society in general. I now want to talk about the idea of gayness inside the “gay community” (by that I mean gay men).

2. GAY TRIBES

As I was researching the different gay tribes that a gay man can belong to (I don’t know then all by heart since I refuse to adhere to them in any away — although as a younger man I described myself as a bear trapped in the body of a twink), I immediately landed on an article from Fast Company called “An Illustrated Guide to Recognizing Your Gay Stereotypes”. The article was talking about the work of illustrator Paul Tuller who was “reclaiming and celebrating” the archetypes of the gay community. That made my blood boil into supernova-like temperature.

Among those illustrations were the following clichés :

The Bear (a husky, large man with a lot of body hair) The Twink (a typically younger, thinner, gay man with little or no body hair) The Twunk (a young gay man who had the face of a twink and the physique of a hunk — jesus…) The Otter (a typically thinner, hairier gay man) The Drag Queen (that is a JOB. Do you even understand your community ? shut the fuck up)

There’s also : the Daddy (a man who is usually middle-aged and had a more dominant personality) the Jock (a gay man with an athletic build who typically enjoys sports) the Geek (a gay man with deep and enthusiastic knowledge of one or more hobbies, activities, professional fields or intellectual pursuits) the Poz (someone who is HIV positive… ) the Discreet (a gay man who is not out) the Clean-Cut (that’s a way of grooming!) the Rugged (that’s ALSO a way of grooming!) The Leather (it’s not an identity itself since it refers to a sexual fetish but whatever)

Those are terms that you can find to describe yourself on dating apps like Grindr (you can only choose one, three if you pay premium access).

Gay man, do you recognize yourself in these ? Off course you do. You can even associate those terms at will and make a comprehensive description of the image you have of yourself and/or the one you want others to have of you. Unfortunately, we are never going to advance as a community and a movement if we keep trying to put our own in little boxes. I do not want someone to come over to me and assume that because I look young and I’m somewhat thin, he gets to fantasize about me or be interest in talking to me because I’m a twink. I don’t want to put into the world that I’m in pursuit of a Daddy Bear with Leather interest ! That’s offensive and reductive. Why are you willing to do to ourselves what others do to us ? Don’t you see that the 50-year old cliché of the Fabulous Gay with pink feathers coming out of his ass is just the grandfather of “The Tale of the Bear and the Otter” ? (just made up that name, I need to make a children’s book out of this). I honestly think that tribes inside a tribe are the most counterproductive artifacts a person can face and it kills the individuality one can have. That’s just my opinion.

I haven’t even talked out the body issues that comes with the fact that you are gay.

This is what you’re supposed to look like :

That’s the picture perfect image most gay men are looking for on dating apps. To some, if you don’t look like that, you’re not even worth looking at. I mean, I already talked about racism on another article, but this is different. This is what a young 16 year-old think is supposed to be desirable. That’s the goal. Sweet boy, most people don’t look like that. I have fat. I have a little belly. I’m not okay with it but I can’t really fight it. I also believe that the gay community, NOT society, gave me the impression that my body was not enough to be considerable good looking. Sure, I’m cute. But hot ? Never felt that way. If I was a heterosexual man, I do believe that I would not be subjected to that much scrutiny from my sexual partners. And if I feel like that, I’m sure I’m not the only one.

So, “How did you know what kind of gay you were” ?

Young gay boy, you don’t need archetypes to define what kind of gay you are. You need to define what kind of human you are and the rest will follow. Don’t fit into a category put together by the community just like, previous to that situation, you decided not to fit into the category society wanted to put you in (aka straight). It took me years to know that. Build an independent spirit that is not polluted by pre-conceived notions of gayness. I hope you let yourself grab that opportunity too.

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Thirteen : PARIS IS BURNING

Who hasn’t seen Paris is Burning ? Apparently, a lot of people.

Presented at the Toronto Film Festival in 1990 and made available to the general public the next year, Paris is Burning is a documentary feature film which chronicles the life of African-American, Latino gay and transgender communities through their love of the ball scene subculture. Wait. What is the ball scene ? — Give me a minute, fool.

The movie was conceived and directed by Jennie Livingston, a Yale student who after studying photography and painting started getting an interest in film while living in New York City. They came across two young men in Washington Square Park voguing and… Wait. What is voguing ? — Don’t you have any patience ? IN. A. MINUTE. She then went to her first ball (wait, what is… — shut up. Just shut up and listen) and filmed what was going on for a class assignment. That’s when she met Venus Xtravaganza.

Wait. Who is Venus Xtravaganza ? Well, great question at the right time. Venus was a transgender performer whose life became of the main emotional and narrative arcs of the movie. When arriving in New York after being basically kicked out of her New Jersey family home, she joined the House of Xtravaganza — and before you start asking anymore question, a House is a collective groups of performers serving a surrogate family structure that also compete in the ball scene in order to win trophies, prestige and respect. At the time of filming, Venus was an aspiring model. She joined the scene in 1983. Unfortunately, she was murdered on christmas day 1988, while the movie was still undergoing sessions of shooting. Her killer was never found.

Venus is just one example of the incredible gallery of characters Paris is Burning offers us for 78 terrific minutes.

Angie Xtravaganza : founding member, Mother of house Xtravaganza and mentor or Venus, this extraordinary transgender performer was an active member of the ball culture. She too died just a few years after the release of the documentary, at the age of 28.

Pepper LaBeija : from House LaBeija, who took over from Crystal as the head of the house, a titled she kept for over 30 years. A drag queen and fashion designer, she won close to 250 trophies during her time in the ball scene.

Dorian Corey : Drag queen. Fashion Designer. She does most of the explanations about the cultural key expressions of the queer and ball lives. She was the founder of House of Corey. She died the same year as Angie Xtravaganza, also due tocomplications from Aids.

Octavia St. Laurent : An activist trans woman and ball performer who went on to become an Aids educator and LGBT Icon.

Willi Ninja : now known as the godfather of voguing, a gay dancer and choreographer. His moves were the principal “inspirations” of the 1990 Vogue movement of the mainstream pop music scene.

Paris Dupree : a drag performer, founding member and mother of the now legendary house of Dupree. The movie takes its name from one of Paris Dupree’s annual ball theme.

There’s also Sol Pendavis, Freddie Pendavis, Junior Labeija… So many incredible personalities and vibrant human beings immortalized on screen.

To go back to Livingston’s journey, she used the images and audio recordings she got to make a teaser/trailer for a potential movie she could film on the ball scene. That gave her enough funds to start following those people around. It took seven years to complete the movie, as the funds were coming from at least 10 separate sources, shooting in 16mm was expensive and some additional material were important to capture after the death of Venus.

At its core, the movie explores the elaborately-structured ball competitions in which contestants, adhering to a very specific category, must “walk” the non-runway. They were judged on their dance talent, quality of clothing and realness of their drag. Most of the editing alternates between footage of balls and interviews with the main “cast”. Through those interviews, we get a glimpse of the subgayculture the general public is missing : the idea of gender roles, the meaning behind every ball, the character’s personal stories that reflected the dreadfulness of their societal situations. Obviously, the film also explores delicate subjects matters such as Aids (a rarely evoked subject back then), racism, poverty, violence, homophobia and also the lives of sex workers in the mid-80s. For the first time on a big screen, people got to really talk about what it’s like to go through a sex reassignment surgery and the difference between being a drag perform, a transvestite and a transgender person.

It is incredibly touching to see those kids, most of them no more than 25, talking about their dreams of fame and fortune, desperately trying to get a glimpse of that through the ball scene, going as far as stealing clothes in store to have something to wear and compete for the honor your their families. As the queer community was still unrecognized by society — especially in the 80s when the Reagan administration were letting people die on the street — , those people were trying to earn a status they called “legendary”. At a time when they didn’t know for how long they’ll be before being taken away by the AIDS virus, their strength of spirit is heartwarming.

It is interesting to note though that the primary result of Paris is Burning’s release was not actually shading a light on those who are dying, but to give mainstream media a new obsession : Voguing.

Now, time for one of your fucking stupid question. Wait. What is Voguing ? Well, legends say that Paris Dupree, mother of the Legendary House Dupree, attended an after hours nightclub called Footsteps and there, two Gay Black men were throwing shade (shade : a backhanded compliment) at each other. Paris had a copy of Vogue magazine in her bag. She took it out and started dancing then suddenly stopped, posing to the beat of the music imitating the models’s poses. That “provocation” was returned in kind by the two Gay Black Men, which turned into a friendly competition. The word voguing was taken from the magazine that started it all. Though disputed, this theory is incredibly compelling. Less disputing is the fact that Paris Dupree was the inventor of the competition categories since it was her who introduced them in her House’s first ball in 1981.

Anyway, one of the dance’s inspirations is also the Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphs. You take pose and stretch your body into the most wonderful positions possible. Everybody knows what Voguing is, even if you are Vanessa Hudgens and you’ve just been introduced to it recently ‘I’m sooo into Voguing right now!” They are currently three distinct styles of voguing at the moment : the OLD WAY (a formation of lines, symmetry and precision in graceful, fluid-like actions. Historically performed as a duel between two rivals) the NEW WAY (more rigid movements couples with limb contortions at the joints and “arms control” such a tutting and locking. It has been described as a modified form of mime and was created to display the dancer’s dexterity) the VOGUE FEM (extreme exaggerated feminine movements influences by the old, the new and also ballet, jazz and modern dance. It can be dramatic or soft, and has 5 main subcategories — Duckwalk, Catwalk, hands, Floorwork and Spins & Dips).

The term “Vogue” and subsequent dance moves were put into the mainstream zeitghest on March 27, 1990 when Madonna released her new single, inspired by the gay underground scene. The song was created as part of the soundtrack for Warren Beatty’s Dick Tracy and went quickly to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, staying there for three consecutive weeks. Madonna was praised for bringing the subculture ball scene in the fore front of music, but don’t ever think for a second that she invented anything. At best, it’s a great song that serves as an homage. At worst, it’s a complete steal and culture appropriation that shouldn’t go unnoticed.

Ironically, Voguing was invented by people striving to look like Vogue Models while in the end, the general public (and Madonna herself) were trying to look more like them. Beautiful, if you take a second to think about it.

Upon its release, Paris is Burning received incredible reviews from critics and won several big awards, including a Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival. It was named one of 1991’s best films by The Los Angeles Times, The Washington post and Time Magazine, among others.

Unsurprisingly, the movie failed to receive an Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary Feature. The country was just getting over their Reagan-influenced ideals and the subject matter of AIDS and homosexuality would not hit the Oscars until a couple of years later, when Jonathan Demme, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington and Bruce Springsteen teamed up to make an unforgettable oscar-worthy movie called Philadelphia.

A question you didn’t ask is : What is the legacy of Paris is Burning ? Well you see, other than an incredible movie by itself, Paris is Burning is also a tool for queer youth to explore and use when necessary. For the scholars and students of this period of time, it is an extremely rare and precise examination of race, class and gender. For queer people, it’s a way to meet their ancestors, since most of them died within a few years after production wrapped.

Paris is Burning’s legacy also lives on with Ryan Murphy’s new tv show, Pose, which debuted on FX in June 3rd, 2018. Quite revolutionary on its own merit as it employs actual transgender people to play transgender people on screen. It is the biggest LGBTQ+ ensemble cast and crew in the History of television, with Janet Mock becoming the first transgender woman of color to write and direct an television episode. Pose follows the lives of transgender women and gay men in the New York ballroom scene of 1987, as the HIV/AIDS epidemic was growing stronger and deadlier. Truth be told, employing transgender women to be transgender women is a liberating thing for the viewer, very much in the tradition of Paris is Burning. You forgive the first couple of episode where the acting is not always as good as it should be but if you’re patient, your eyes will tear up, your face will crack and your hips will move. Season 2 started this week. An essential show.

Paris is Burning gave us life, gave us pose, gave us everything. It’s a piece of work so precious it will live on until life on earth ceases to exist. And for those ballroom performers who appeared in the film, whether they’re still here with us or departed, they truly deserve the status of “legendary”.