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You’re doing it again.
Pushing me away.
You go through phases.
When you’re good, we’re good.
When you’re not, you sting me.
Someday, I won’t come back.
You’ll have pushed me too far,
Because I don’t deserve to be your punching bag.
But that’s how you use me.
I don’t deserve it.
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To the love that comes next,
She doesn’t need to be taken care of. She needs to be loved. Her love language is important to her - learn it. Tell her you love her. Remind her everyday of how beautiful she is. Appreciate her singing voice and tell her it sounds like the angels. Leave her love notes and tell her what you’re thinking. Care for and love her without suffocating her, without stripping her of her independence. Give her the space to show up as she needs to, as whatever version she is. Grow with her. Change with her. Adapt with her. Heal with her. Play with her. Dance with her. Cook with her. Romance her. Make love to her. Be sweet and gentle, then be whatever she needs you to be. Show up for her in every way that she is going to show up for you. Love her in every way that she’s going to love you. Choose her as fiercely as she will choose you. Never take her for granted because one day she might not be there, and you will spend the rest of your days missing every ounce of the magic that she is, wondering why you never had the courage to believe that you deserved her. Show up. Show up and love her because she is rare, and rare doesn’t come around but every once in a great while. Life is long. Love her like you mean it.
- a
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How do I talk to you?
I can’t help that we have a history.
I can’t help that my truth and my experience, that the way that I see you, makes you uncomfortable.
I do not say things as a pass at you.
I do not say things in flirtation.
I say things as I know them to be true.
You are beautiful.
You have a beautiful body.
You have a beautiful voice.
How can I tell you as your best friend and as your ex, that you are beautiful in so many ways that I can’t describe?
It’s not my fault we have history, and it isn’t fair to me that I have to curve the way I speak my truth.
It hurts me that I can’t even be honest with you in any way, for fear of it making you uncomfortable.
We can either do this exactly as what we are; best friends and exes.
Or we can’t.
And that’s up to you.
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